But I Won't Do That

Harry was one huge bundle of nerves as he reached the bottom of the stairs from the attic. He walked slowly down the hall, allowing his feet to drag as he got closer to the door he knew was Ginny’s.

When he’d gotten within a few meters of the door it opened unexpectedly. Harry tensed, already wincing in anticipation of another punch, but it wasn’t Ginny coming out of the room; Hermione stepped out backwards, one hand raised in a placating fashion. “All right, I’m going,” Hermione blurted quickly. “But if you’d like to talk-” There was a murmur in response that Harry couldn’t hear, but it sounded angry, and Hermione paled slightly and shut the door as fast as she could.

Harry watched as Hermione shut her eyes and took a deep, shuddering breath. “Hermione?”

Hermione leapt a foot in the air, a strangled shriek bursting from her lungs. Her hand shot into her robes and she’d almost gotten her wand out when she finally focused on who was in front of her. “H-Harry!” she gasped, her eyes huge and her whole body shaking. “Oh Harry, d-don’t do that! I had no idea you were there!”

“Sorry!” Harry blurted, almost as shaken as Hermione. “Sorry, I- I should’ve known…oh, bloody hell, I’m making such a mess of things tonight…”

“No, it’s all right,” Hermione said quickly, taking another deep breath to calm herself. “I was just a bit on edge, after…” She gestured at Ginny’s door.

“Yeah,” said Harry, nodding. He silently thought Hermione was unbelievably brave for daring to enter Ginny’s room that night. “Well, I’m still sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Hermione said. She walked over to Harry, placed a hand on his chest and looked up at him with a smile Harry found very disconcerting. “Harry… do you know how happy I am to see you again?”

“Well, uh…yeah, you said so before, Hermione,” Harry stammered, trying to understand why Hermione suddenly looked positively predatory.

“That’s not what I meant,” Hermione whispered. Before Harry could react, Hermione pushed him back against the wall, slipped her hand behind his neck and pulled him down into a ferocious kiss. She clung to him tightly and ignored his surprised squeak as her tongue forced its way into his mouth.

Panicking, Harry managed to push Hermione away and hold her at arm’s length, staring at her with a terrified expression. “Hermione! How could you- what the hell are you doing? I know about Ron, he told me! How could you do that to him?”

A few tears slid down Hermione’s cheeks, but to Harry’s bewilderment she smiled hugely at him. Hermione pressed her face into Harry’s chest and hugged him tightly; then she released him and leaned against the opposite wall, and slowly slid down until she was sitting. She looked up into Harry’s eyes and smiled again. “Thank you, Harry,” she said softly.

Harry shook his head, deeply confused, and Hermione’s eyes flickered with amusement. She patted the carpet beside her, and Harry apprehensively sat down at her side. “Hermione,” he said cautiously, “what- what was that about?”

Hermione leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. Harry saw that tears were still leaking out, but Hermione’s expression was startlingly blissful. “I had to be sure, Harry,” she said quietly.

“What do you mean? You had to be sure about what?”

Hermione opened her eyes; she turned to face Harry and gave him a smile full of both sadness and joy. “I had to be sure that I wasn’t in love with you.”

“Wh- what?”

“Harry, you said Ron told you about us…well, he and I have been- very awkward for a long time. And I know now it was all my fault,” Hermione said, her face falling. “Because I allowed myself to doubt my feelings for him.” Harry’s confused expression made Hermione sigh. “The way I felt about you when your Charm was active…it felt so real, I was sure I was in love with you. And at some point I let myself think that, maybe, I wasn’t really in love with Ron…that I had projected how I felt for you onto him.”

“What?” Harry yelped, shocked. “How could you have done that?”

“People do it all the time, Harry,” Hermione insisted, looking away down the stairs. “And I couldn’t do that to Ron, it wasn’t right. I couldn’t let him love me that way, not knowing if I could give it back to him. He’s too good a person to hurt that way.” She turned back to look at Harry; her tears has dampened her nightgown, but she still smiled shakily. “But now I know…Harry, you’re as dear to me as you ever were, but I’m not in love with you; I’m in love with Ron.” Hermione’s shoulders began to shake. “I r-really do love him,” she choked out around her sobs.

“S-so what does that mean?”

“It means,” Hermione cried, “that I can f-finally accept the ring Ron’s been carrying for the last two years.”

Harry gasped. “Really?”

“Yes, really,” Hermione confirmed, getting herself partially back under control. “He thinks I never found out; but I’ve known from the day he got it. And I can accept it with all my heart now, thanks to you.” She threw her arms around Harry’s neck and hugged him again. “Thank you, Harry,” she whispered again.

“But- but I-” Harry sighed and hugged her back. “You’re welcome, I guess.”

“You guess?” Hermione pulled away and peered at Harry. “What do you mean, you guess?”

“I just- Merlin, Hermione, I am such a bastard! You should have married Ron two years ago – you put your lives on hold because of me! And everyone I’ve run into tonight has thanked me for something. I just don’t think you all should be thanking me. I mean, if it hadn’t been for me, you wouldn’t have had to doubt in the first place, would you?”

“If it hadn’t been for you, Ron and I might never have come together at all,” Hermione shot back instantly. “Don’t dwell on might-have-beens, Harry! You’ve just given me something I’ve been wanting for years, and I’m being grateful, so bloody well accept it, do you hear?” Harry was utterly dumbfounded, and he could only nod. “Good,” Hermione concluded, but she raised her eyebrow as Harry continued to look stunned. “What?”

“You- you just said ‘bloody well’!” Harry blurted.

“Oh…” Hermione laughed. “Surprised to hear me swear, Harry?”

“Well…yeah. I mean, what else has changed about you?”

“I’m pregnant, by Draco. Don’t tell Ron, all right?”

Harry gaped at Hermione, his jaw working soundlessly. “Oh, Harry!” Hermione giggled. “When did you become so gullible?”

“Gullible? Me? Hey, when did you lose your mind?” Harry shook his head. “Don’t do that to me, woman, I’m only twenty-one; I don’t need a heart attack!” He smiled shyly as Hermione shook with laughter. “It’s a damn good thing Ron’s downstairs and didn’t hear that – I think Draco’s life is in enough danger as it is.”

“Draco? What do you mean? Why is Ron downstairs?”

“Ron couldn’t sleep either. I ran into him having a snack. And he had a few choice words for Draco.”

Hermione sighed. “Some things never change. Ron and Draco still fight like schoolboys, and Ron’s still a bottomless pit.”

“I think it’s comforting, ‘mione,” Harry said honestly. “If Ron didn’t have a short temper and the ability to eat five times as much as me, he wouldn’t be Ron anymore.”

Hermione smiled tearfully at Harry. “Oh, Harry,” she whispered. “I can’t tell you how much I missed that.”

“Huh? Missed what?”

“You just called me ‘mione,” she said. “It’s been so long since I heard your nickname for me.”

“But what about Ron? He called you that all the time!”

“He won’t any more,” Hermione explained sadly. “You used it first, and Ron stopped saying it after you left. I suppose he found it too painful.”

“Oh…” Harry put his head in his hands. “I’m such a prat…”

“Don’t, Harry,” Hermione said softly, placing a comforting hand on Harry’s back. “Maybe Ron will start using it again now.”

Harry sighed as Hermione’s hand massaged his neck slightly, easing some of his tension. “I really missed this, you know,” he mumbled. “Other than a fistfight or two, I don’t think I’ve had any physical human contact since I left.”

“Really?” Hermione was amused. “Not even sex?”

Harry shook his head. “Not even sex.”

“I’m so sorry,” Hermione said, clearly holding in laughter, and Harry chuckled. “Harry…can I ask you something?” Harry nodded. “How did you do it?”

Harry sat up again. “Do what?” he asked sharply. “Defeat Voldemort? You want a spell-by-spell breakdown? Or do you mean the Charm?”

“No, Harry, not that,” Hermione said impatiently. “Your Love Charm, I understand. Love Charms are simple. And your defeat of Voldemort – you don’t have to say. You can tell me someday, if you want, but I don’t need to know. But Harry…how did you key the Fidelius Charm to yourself? Hundreds of wizards have tried over the centuries! It’s unbelievable! I haven’t been able to-” She stopped when she noticed the extremely odd look on Harry’s face. “What? What is it?”

Then Harry started laughing. He laughed until his throat was almost raw, until tears were streaming down his face and his sides ached. And the whole while Hermione sat glaring at him with furious indignation. “Well?” she snarled when the laughing finally died down. “And what’s so bloody funny?”

“Oh, ‘mione…you’ve wanted to ask me that for years, haven’t you?”

“Yes, I have,” Hermione said, and scowled again when Harry’s shoulders shook again. “What?”

“Only you, ‘mione,” Harry chortled. “After all this time, after everything that happened, only you would fixate on some little tweak to a magic spell that’s only important to the history books. You were right – some things never change.”

Hermione flushed, and smiled shyly. “No, I suppose not.”

Harry’s expression sobered. “Wait a moment,” he said, and dug his hand into his pocket. When he pulled it out, Hermione saw he had a Galleon in his palm. “I’ve been carrying this since I left,” he said, taking the large gold coin in his fingers and turning it over. “The only thing from the wizarding world I took with me. It’s been a constant reminder of everything I left behind.” The corner of his mouth twitched. “See that it’s kind of dented?”

“Yes, but-” Hermione stopped as realization dawned. “Oh- you’ve been…um, venting your frustration on it?”

“Yeah, that’s the nice way of saying it.” Harry stared unblinking at the coin for a moment, and then turned to Hermione. “Here,” he said softly, gently taking her wrist and placing the coin in her hand. “I think I owe you this.”

“What?” Hermione glanced at the coin in confusion, and then looked back up at Harry. “I don’t understand, Harry.”

“Right before I destroyed the Charm, you said there was nothing that would make you leave me. And I said-”

“ ‘-bet you a Galleon',” Hermione finished, her eyes misting as she recalled that horrible night. “Now I remember.”

“Yeah. I guess…I guess that really wasn’t the Charm’s doing, was it?” He looked up and smiled faintly. “It was really you.”

“Always, Harry,” Hermione confirmed with a kiss on his cheek. “Can I ask you something else?”

“All right…”

“Why were you in the attic?”

“Oh…” Harry laughed nervously. “I was on the roof, actually. Luna was up there, we were…talking.”

“Oh! Is she all right?”

“I think so. I hope so. I’ll talk to her again later.”

Oh good,” Hermione said, standing up. “Please do, I’ve been worried about her. Are you headed to bed now?”

Harry hesitated. It was a perfect excuse, but… “I can’t, ‘mione. I have to talk to G-Ginny.”

Hermione’s eyes widened. “Harry, are you sure that’s wise? She’s not in a very receptive mood.”

“I know, I saw. But I have to. I promised Luna, and I don’t think I can break another promise right now.”

Hermione nodded. “All right, but just…be careful.”

“I will.” Harry took Hermione’s hands and squeezed them. “I’ll live, Hermione. I might end up wishing I hadn’t, but I’ll live.” He turned Hermione toward the stairs and pushed her gently. “You should head down.”

“What?” Hermione looked confused. “Why should I go downstairs?”

“Because Ron’s down there, of course.”

“Oh…” Hermione flushed. “Yes, I suppose we do need to talk, don’t we?”

“Just don’t tell him you kissed me, I don’t think I’d survive Weasley curses from two sides.”

Hermione chuckled weakly. “Good luck, Harry.”

“You too.” Harry watched Hermione walk to the edge of the stairs. But before she could place her foot on the first step she stopped, and stood perfectly still. “Hermione?” Hermione turned around again, and Harry wasn’t totally surprised to see utter panic washing over her features.

Harry walked swiftly over to Hermione and pulled her to his chest, crushing her in a powerful hug. “Hermione, you are a brilliant woman,” he murmured. “You’re a talented witch, an unmatchable friend, and one of the most incredible people I’ve ever met. And if you don’t go downstairs right now and accept Ron’s ring, I’ll be forced to relearn all the magic I’ve forgotten over the last four years, just so I can sufficiently curse you for being so stupid.”

Harry felt all the tension flow from Hermione’s body as she gave a surprised laugh and hugged him back. “Thank you so much, Harry,” she mumbled into his shirt.

Harry pulled back and kissed Hermione’s forehead. Then he spun her around again. “Go on.”

Hermione took a deep, steadying breath and walked slowly down to the kitchen, leaving Harry alone in front of Ginny’s door.