Lost and Found

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Severus relaxed in his high leather chair having returned from the deatheater meeting only moments before. His fingers rubbed his temples in
an effort to rid himself of the pounding headache he now had. Whenever he was at one of the meetings he had to do occlumency to keep the Dark
Lord out of his head. Severus was skilled at that and managed to project fake thoughts from his mind so the Dark Lord wouldn't become suspicious
of him. It was tiring, keeping it up for hours, and gave him a nauseating feeling. Severus got up and went to the small bar set up in the
room, he poured himself a drink and downed it all at once. He never really liked the taste, just the affect it had after a couple of drinks.
The affect of forgetting everything thats really happening, and replacing it with things that aren't. Everything was much more amusing and
bearable after a few drinks. Severus poured himself another glass and took it back with him to his chair. He took a small sip and set the glass
on the desk before him, wanting to let drunkenness slowly take him. He ran his hand over the black leather of his seat that blended well into the
dark surroundings. Everything in Severus' life was dark; his home, his attire, his long greasy hair, his heart, he thought. No he wasn't
that dark, he couldn't be. Severus wasn't all bad, he could feel, he could...love, maybe? Of course not, not Severus. He was a hard man and no
one could break his walls down. No woman was powerful enough to make him crumble into a mass of gentle and lovely whispered words. Severus had
women, used then, had his way and left them, never loved. He'd learned that lesson the first time. Severus took another swig from his glass to
try and drown out the thought of the girl he knew so long ago. But even through the potent alcohol he could still see her red hair, her long
legs, the bright smile that seemed to go on for miles and those eyes that lit up whenever she laughed. He could even still smell her, rosemary
and plum, it over powered his musky room. In one gulp he shallowed the rest of his drink and got up to retrieve more. His head was beginning to
feel dizzy but at least the pain, and memories, were fading. Severus closed his eyes to block out the annoying black of his room, he really was
sick of all the dark in his life. But as soon as he closed his eyes the visions from Yuki's mind began to flood him. He couldn't put any of it
together. The young girl running in the woods, it looked like her, just much younger, maybe about twelve. Then the room where fear filled the
air as much as the heat rising in there. The hot coals burning in the basin fogging the scene as water was poured on and steam rose. And the
man, he could not see who it was unless the hood were pulled back from his cape. Severus thought about the last vision, the one where Yuki was
running down the long hall, and wondered about what she was running from more so then where she was running too. There was so much fear in every
vision he saw from her, but he wouldn't tell her that; even though she already knew it, he still didn't want to worry her. Severus forgot about
his drink as he leaned back in his chair thinking about Yuki; her long black hair that effortlessly swayed as she moved; her deep green eyes
that looked at him so intently; her soft spoken voice that whispered past her lips. Severus felt a strange twitch in his nether regions as he
thought of Yuki and felt completely disgusted with himself. How could he think of her like that? He couldn't. She was some poor innocent girl who would want nothing to do with him. She was just some strange women he was being forced to spend time with, thats all. He was doing his job and that was it. But the feeling wouldn't go away, and the more he tried not to think of her the more he did. Severus couldn't lie, he did like going to see her, he liked that she wasn't afraid of him like everyone else. But that was it, there was nothing more. He told himself that he wasn't falling for this girl, he told himself the feelings weren't real.It's just the alcohol he told himself, and poured another glass.

Thanks for reading. Review if you can. I like to know what you think.

~Lara