Doubts and Desires

A/N: Thank you again for the reviews!!! I appreciate them! I was hoping to get this up sooner than I did, but motivation was rather lacking yesterday. I think I\'ve figured out where I\'m taking this more so. Hopefully, that\'ll help me update a little quicker.


Chapter Ten: Some Normalcy Returns

Severus stirred the potion slowly. He had been unable to sleep much since his date with Hermione. Did he really just call it a date? He guessed it was in a way. Unfortunately, he had barely been able to see her except at meals. Their schedules just didn’t seem to work out, especially since he was potion making again. He had yet to allow his students make any since the accident, but he was rebuilding his skills. The accident had shaken him to the core of his very existence unlike anything else that he had done in the miserable existence that he called his life. Stirring the potion was rather mesmerizing as he allowed his thoughts to drift over to Hermione again. He remembered her as a student. She was the little know-it-all that raised her hand for every question he asked and always got the answers correct. He had not paid much attention to her then. He had not noticed that she had grown up until she came back. He sighed softly. She was a woman now. A brilliant one at that. A smile played on his lips. He liked what she was doing with her hair. It was a lot less bushy than he remembered. It fell in soft waves down her back. It was soft and silky, although he couldn’t quite remember how he knew or if he had just dreamt it. His tongue fld ovd over his lips as he thought about her.

“You must stop this,” he told himself as he finished stirring the potion and placed it in vials. He didn’t believe that someone so beautiful and so perfect could have the same feelings as he did. He wasn’t even sure what his feelings were toward her. He just knew that he sure felt something, especially since he had another hard on now just from thinking about her again. He finished with the potion completely and went into his living room, thinking that he was going to have to take a cold shower again. If he did, it would be his second one this morning.

Finally pushing the thoughts away and getting back to normal, he went upstairs for breakfast. He ate little, rather disappointed that Hermione hadn’t shown up, although no one would have known with his familiar disapproving scowl frozen on his face. He got up and ignored the look Dumbledore gave him as he went to the dungeons to get ready for class.

He entered his classroom and went over to the ingredients cabinet. His hand paused as he considered it. “Mayomoromorrow,” he stated and went over to his desk to work on grading a few essays that he hadn’t finished. Soon, the class had entered, and he had given them more busy work to do. He knew that he had to get them back to making potions again, but he just couldn’t bring himself quite to do it. He wished more than almost anything that he could just push the feelings back and move on like he normally did, but he guessed that perhaps there was just no more room. He didn’t know, and, frankly, he didn’t want to dwell on it.

Hermione felt the hot breath lightly moving her hair as she brushed her back against the man. He was doing the most wicked things to her neck, nipping and licking and kissing. His hands ran over her breasts, causing the nipples to become hard and erect. He cupped each breast as they swelled to fit his hands. She tilted her head back as her eyes were closed. The man captured her lips, and she moaned. “Whooo,” something called out. She opened her eyes to see the dark hair of her lover. “Mmmm…” she moaned again. She felt like something was pecking at her shoulder, and she turned over and opened her eyes.

Damn it! It was just a dream, she thought as she sat up, finding an owl on her headboard. The owl hooted again. “Yes, just a minute.” She got up and gave the owl a treat. A wave of anticipation crashed over her as she took the letter off the owl. She was hoping that it would be her grade for her potions essay. She opened the letter, and her face fell slightly as she realized that it wasn’t about her essay. She read the letter:


Dear Miss Granger,

I would like to say that I’m terribly sorry how I acted earlier in your presence. I was worried about my son. I thought you might like to know that he is doing well. It seems that with your quick actions that it might have saved him from being paralyzed for life. Yes, he will walk again. His gotten a little feeling in his toes and can move them slightly, and the doctors expect a full recovery, although it’ll take a little of time and some therapy. He even wants to go back to school once he can walk. We’re letting him. Professor Dumbledore has been kind enough to let him back in once he is able. I must admit that we’re not too happy that he wants to go back, but there is a lot that he can learn, and we are proud of him. Thank you for helping him out. We know that it was a rare accident.

Sincerely,
Mr. Morgan


She was thrilled at this news and kissed the owl on the head, which fluffed up his feathers in a disgruntled fashion and flew off. She was relieved that the boy was going to be able to walk again. There was only one person who she thought would be happier than she was. Severus. She started to pull on some clothes when she realized what time it was. He had a class now. She knew that she couldn’t interrupt. She would just have to tell him after his class. For the time being, she took a shower and dressed, knowing that as soon as his class was over that she was going to be there to tell him.


The students had just gathered up their books and left as Severus straightened up his desk to go to lunch. He then was at the door to leave when someone plowed right into him. He looked down. “Hermione? Something wrong?” he asked as he steadied her.

She looked up at him, regaining her balance after she had ran down there to tell him the news and then literally ran into him. She resisted the sudden urge to hug him tightly. “Nothing’s wrong. I just have some great news. I got a letter from Mr. Morgan, the father of the boy. Well, he was saying that he’s doing alright. He can even move his toes. They expect a full recovery. He’s even coming back to school here once he can walk.”

He felt like an immense weight had left his shoulders. He fully realized all the guilt he had been holding in over what he had done to the boy. He breathed a sigh of relief. “That is wonderful news, Hermione.” His hand had gone up to her cheek as he stroke it gently. “Thank you for telling me.”

She smiled. “You’re welcome. I thought you would be happy to know.”

He nodded. He had such a dark past with little to no conscious at times, but this accident had almost destroyed all the walls he had built up over the years. He had learned not to care about what he did to others, but he did care about this. He guessed it was because it was an accident that he could not control and did not mean to do. It had haunted him more than his other crimes. Yet, it had all been righted now, well, at least this one crime of his. He smiled at her. “Let’s go to lunch,” he instructed. He felt like he could rebuild the walls again. He could go on now.


Once they got to lunch, Hermione went to tell Dumbledore about what she had found out about the boy. By the time she finished talking to him, she realized that Severus was gone already. Her face fell slightly as she looked disappointed. Dumbledore noticed and asked if she was okay, and she nodded and left as well without eating. She considered trying to find him, but she hesitated before going down to the dungeons. Perhaps he needed time again. Instead of going down there, she turned and went back to the Hospital Wing, hoping that Severus was well. He had seemed happy about the news, but she wasn’t sure now.
Severus had eaten quickly and went back to the dungeons. He had to prepare his classroom for his afternoon class. He got out the ingredients and the cauldrons. Soon, the students entered. He turned around from where he was writing the directions on the board as the last student entered. The door shut with a wave of his hand. “Class, today we will be working on the Confusing Concoction. The ingredients are there. The directions are on the board. Get to work.” The students seemed surprised and perhaps a little glad that they were working on potions again and quickly got to work. He hid a smirk from them as he watched them closely. Normalcy had returned. The Potions Master was back.


A/N: Please review! It only takes a moment.