The Sins Of A Father
The Sins Of A Father
personal matter. Its one of the things that made me really think
twice. So it's a question of sorts too. I would love to hear the
answer what you readers have. You can be as blunt and truthful as you
can be. So please review what you can or you can just e-mail me. I
don't mind. This Fanfic is told by Severus's POV. I would also like to
add that I do not think of Alan Rickman as Severus Snape in the books
or in any other fanfics. Any other character really. So my characters
might look different. Thank you for your time, and enjoy.
P.S. Thank you Kirraluv for being my beta...Who works for hugs! *Hugs*
The Sins of a Father
Chapter One: Do You Not Love It?
What have I become?
It's wrong.
So wrong.
I've done it. It's too late.
I know I should NOT do it. But I've DONE it.
Now I regret it. With nearly all my heart and mind.
Heh, nearly. Yes, NEARLY. Since there is a piece of it that does not
regret. Not for this anyway.
Not for love.
Is it love though? Or is it some kind of sick twisted emotion that
made me lose the person that I proclaimed my love to.
I had everything that a man could want. Good health. Wealth. A good
home. A family to go to at the end of the day. What more could you
want? It's more than enough for anyone, right?
Not for me.
Because I loved someone else. My apologies, not someone ELSE. Someone
TOO. Someone that was always with me. Someone that was with me since
the day that I met my beautiful wife. Someone that my wife knew for
nearly 17 years. Someone that is her own flesh and blood. Someone
that is her son.
Someone that is MY son.
It's wrong. I know it's wrong. It's hurting me so much to know this. But I can not stop myself. He might not be my flesh and blood. But I
knew him since he was just nine years old. A mere boy that I treated as
if he were my own blood.
Treat him as my own lover. A lover that still calls me Papa.
I can just hear the people wanting to crucifix me now.
Or I would hear it if someone knew about this besides me, my son…And
NOW my wife.
We have a son together. Jimmy. He's a right little imp. But I still
love him. But not the love I feel for my wife. And also my other…I
don't know. What do I call him? By law he is my son. I've adopted him
since the day I married my wife, Lily.
My boy. My beautiful boy. My beautiful son. My beautiful lover. My
beautiful…Harry.
This is it; what he is to me. I can NEVER stop loving him.
Even if I have lost my lover.
I just…love him.
I must confess my sin. I will wear my crown of thorns and confess.
Where do I begin?
The day of my wedding? The day of the birth of Jimmy? Or the day that it
had all started my sin?
I'll start just a few days before Jimmy's birthday.
Like I said, a right little imp. But in such an adorable way. Takes
after his brother. Green eyes; Lily's eyes. Black hair. Unlike Harry's,
though, this hair is manageable. Harry's hair will not be tamed even
if it had a tub of gel. But it suits him. Jimmy has, thank the Lord,
Lily's nose. A cute little button nose.
He's turning five years old. Seems like only yesterday that I was
taking him home from the hospital. Time just disappears when you're with
your children.
I was in my Mercedes-Benz SL 500. Black. Sorry to sound snobbish but
I just have a thing for cars, like any other man.
I had just came from Hamleys. Just got a birthday present. And what are
little boys like when it comes to toys? You guessed it, cars. A toy
remote control car that is the length of my arm. And trust me, I'm tall
and I workout. Costly, yet I can afford it. Plus, it's my little boy's
birthday. Unlike other children he's never asked for too many things
that he will be bored with the next day. A good little boy when it
comes to money. Must be his older brother's influence. It's
all wrapped up. I had to hide the toy at all costs, as if I were some
sort of secret agent, and placed it well underneath my coat in the car,
since I can't trust my son's antics when it comes to his presents. It
MUST be his older brother's influence. Although, he is a good boy, but
curiosity always wins with him.
Red light. I waited for the traffic lights to turn green, listening to
the music that's being played by the radio station, quietly tapping my
fingers on the steering wheel. I glanced around out of boredom.
I stopped tapping.
A couple kissing.
Men kissing.
It's common here in central London.
Don't get me wrong, I've got nothing against homosexuality. I'm
bi-sexual, myself. But I just can' t help but get…aroused. Being bi-sexual
has it's good and bad advantages. Before I met Lily, I was the type to
do one night stands. I was lucky enough I got the person's name before
I fucked them senseless. Work and sex. The good thing then was that I
could be with both genders, my needs satisfied at the fullest. But that
changed when I felt more than just physical attraction to Lily. Oh I
do love her, but sometimes I miss the hard, male body beneath me. The
harsh, rough sounds they breathe into my ear, wrapping their strong
thighs around my hips as I pound them into the mattress…
It got hot all of a sudden.
I opened the window and took a deep, calming breath. It's not good to
walk into the house with a full hard on.
Not with the children there to see, that is.
I realize I'm still gawking.
And I also realize something else.
Horns.
Car horns and…
"MOVE IT, YOU FUCKING IDIOT! GREEN LIGHT YOU PRICK!"
…to be precise.
Ah, London. All types of people living in it.
Do you not love it?
*******
A/N: I will post chapter, when its finished being beta read, every few days. So, please, please review? I might give you two chapters at a time or even more!