Love Potion No. 13

Disclaimer - You've heard it all before so here it goes again, I don't profess to own any of the characters or plot co incidents with the Harry Potter series written by JK Rowling, contained within this story. All dirt, sex and other profanity is made from the sick genius of my own and while I use for my own and others amusements the character of JKR's stories, I do neither profit monetarily or legally from anything contained within these pages. All relative warnings related to this story are clearly indicated and should you be reading this story and take offence I accept no responsibility having warned you thoroughly before undertaking the project. If you sue, you won't make a dime so don't bother. RIFFRAFF.

A/N I have absolutely no idea how long this puppy has been sitting on my hard drive but I found it in a clean out the other day and thought what the hell. It looks like it's one of my older, first stories so the plot is dodgy, the sex is flawed and the characters are a little off but all in all it's an easy read for a mid week post. Anyway hope you enjoy it, it's not my best and I freely admit it not being so, but some reviews would be nice, even if it's to laugh your head off at me. How neive a writer I was back when I first began.

Cheers
RIFFRAFF

LOVE POTION NO.13
Chapter 1

“Marvelous, just bloody fucking marvelous!” Snape stood with his hands on his hips surveying the carnage and chaos that was the hospital wing. All around him his students clamored over one another desperate to get to a student of the opposite sex in a frenzy of sexual tension. Professors and students alike tried desperately to keep the infected students apart but in some cases it was to late and the sound of wet inexperienced teenage lips meeting could be heard above the chaos of Madam Pomfrey trying to call for order. The sight was sickening and Snape forced himself not to heave as he stuck his foot out tripping one amorous looking Ronald Weasley before the boy’s hands could latch onto an escaping and somewhat worried looking Hermione Granger. In the middle of the potion induced mating frenzy however sat one miserable looking Harry Potter, his face and hands covered in red blotches and his ears as pointed as a pixy’s. Unlike his classmates though Harry showed no signs of ardent feelings towards his friends and merely sat staring at the stone floor while his mates ran backward and forward around him.

Snape glared at the boy with anger. Harry Potter was the bain of his life aside from the meddling old Headmaster that was. The boy’s incompetence and sheer stupidity was beyond anything Snape had encountered before and while he’d put up with it for the past six years he was now at his wits end. Stepping over the passed out Ronald Weasley Snape strode determinedly across to Harry.

The boy saw Snape coming and sunk further into himself as the impressive figure of Hogwart’s potion’s professor towered over him. Harry Potter knew he was in trouble, not that that in itself was unusual but this time he actually hadn’t done anything wrong. It had all been a horrible prank gone wrong and now Harry was going to be facing the consequences. Snape looked positively livid as he strode towards him and Harry braced himself for the inevitable.

“Potter come with me.” Grabbing Harry’s collar roughly Snape dragged the struggling boy towards the door of the infirmary.

“Please sir I didn’t do it.” Harry struggled uselessly against the potion professor’s strong grip. Harry knew where he was being taken and in this state preferred not to face the headmaster. Snape however didn’t slow off and dragged Harry through the gathering crowds of students milling about in the corridors. Word had spread quickly about the accident in sixth year potions and now everyone was eager to get a glimpse of the chaos that ‘Love Potion Number 13’ had done to the class in its line of fire. Snape didn’t bother knocking as he reached the headmasters door and merely burst in literally throwing Harry to the floor in front of a smiling Dumbledore.

“Ah Severus, word has it your sixth year potion class are not themselves today.” Harry slowly stood up from the floor shuffling his feet as he watched Snape round the headmaster’s desk and slam a vial of fluorescent pink fluid onto Dumbledore’s desk.

“Don’t Severus me headmaster, this excuse you call a student has let loose an extremely infections love potion on the entire castle through his pure stupidity and brainlessness.” Snape’s usually calm resolve had disappeared and Harry stared at the irate potions professor having never seen or heard him scream at the headmaster before. Dumbledore however didn’t flinch at being addressed in such a manor and merely glanced at Harry before back at his professor.

“The entire castle?” Dumbledore paused and raised a knowing eyebrow in Snape’s direction. “Now you’re exaggerating Severus. I know for a fact you have sealed off the dungeons to prevent the infectious cloud escaping, and those of your class affected by it are confined to the infirmary are they not?” Harry allowed himself a twitch of a smile as he watched Snape narrow his gaze at the headmaster in warning.

“Yes headmaster but that does not excuse what Potter has done. This potion is completely untested on teenagers who apart from being full to the eyeballs already with hormones are now running on pure lust for one another! There is no telling how long it will take to wear off and in the mean time we may have an epidemic on our hands! Just because Potter here failed to follow instructions!” Snape turned around and pointed an accusing bony finger at the boy who looked up incredulously.

“I told you already I didn’t do it, Malfoy the little shit put that stuff in my cauldron. How was I supposed to know it’d explode when I tried to wash it down the sink! If you’d pay more attention to Draco rather than picking fault with the rest of us you’d see some of the stuff he actual does in your classes!” Harry growled angrily at Snape who merely snorted in disgust and turned his back on the boy, to look back at the headmaster who was watching them both carefully.

“Headmaster this is nonsense Potter is the sole culprit in this. Had he simply told me about the potion instead of taking it upon himself to clean it up, none of this would have happened, regardless of the small part Mr. Malfoy may have or may not have played in this situation.” This time it was Harry’s turn to snort, the boy rapidly loosing his own temper with the greasy haired git of a professor, whom he hated with a passion.

“Small part! Hah, I wouldn’t have had to clean up my potion if that son of a bitch hadn’t thrown that plant into it in the first place!” Harry was pointing accusingly back at Snape who pointedly ignored the boy and folded his arms across his chest angrily.

“Language please Harry.” Albus admonished watching as Harry nodded in apology before continuing. “Now as far as I can see this was perhaps an unforeseen accident of which no one is responsible. Accidents are commonplace in practical classes such as potions and while we must take care to avoid them in the first place we must also learn from the mistakes we make.” Both Harry and Snape glared at the headmaster neither of them happy with the elder wizards assessment of the situation. “Now as far as I can see this has done no major harm. Those students infected will be sedated and isolated until the potion wears off. Severus I am sure you are capable of clearing the dungeons of any lingering potion, but I believe Harry would be more than willing to help you.” Harry went to open his mouth and say he wouldn’t help, but the headmaster stared at him knowingly and Harry closed his mouth tightly as the elder wizard continued. “On the upside of this I believe Mr. Potter here does not seem affected by the potion, such as his class mates were. Did you say that it was Harry’s cauldron that exploded Severus? I would have expected Harry to be showing worse signs than this if he took the full force of the potion as you said he did.” Both Severus and the headmaster turned around to fully look at Harry who was staring at his shoes, and twisting his red blotchy hands in his lap.

“Yes headmaster it is intriguing why Potter is not affected by such a strong dose of the potion.” Snape looked Harry up and down with disgust turning his nose up in the air as Harry looked up at him and glared.

“Perhaps this slight ‘pixyism’ is worth a look into Severus when you get a moment. I’m sure Harry does not wish to continue his school career with pointed ears.” Dumbledore smiled at Harry who reached up and pulled at his pointed ears self-consciously. Snape nodded in agreement although his eyes spoke of the professor’s inner delight at the prospect of Harry being punished by leaving him in the mutated state. Harry knew he was being dismissed when Dumbledore waved him away and obediently turned to leave. Harry sighed and made his way to the door, catching the start of the two professors new conversation just as he left.

“Headmaster the boy is showing signs of…..”

“I know Severus, I know. Let us just hope that these temporary affects wear off quickly.”

Harry didn’t hear the rest of the conversation as the door slid closed behind him, and the gargoyle steps began their downward spiral. Harry wondered silently what the pair were referring to but at the moment he didn’t care. He was tired, sore and red all over. It had been a shit end to an even crappier week, and today’s disaster had been the icing on the cake. Ignoring the giggles, stares and pointing fingers Harry ran all the way up to the Gryfindor boy’s bathroom and prepared to spend the rest of the afternoon soaking in a hot bath and avoiding everyone.

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>