Marriage Law Madness

Anti-Litigation Charm: I don't own these characters and am making no money off them.

This is my first HP fanfic.

Marriage Law Madness Chapter One: The First Proposal


It was the third day of school, and bleary-eyed students were stumbling into the Great Hall for breakfast. Post owls were beginning to trickle through the windows, dropping mail at the four house tables and up at the staff table. Once one of the owls had dropped her copy of The Daily Prophet onto her plate, Hermione scanned the headlines.

"Cornelius Fudge has gone too far this time!" she spat. "I am not leaving school to get married, law or no law." She was so angry she was shaking, making it hard to read as she ranted to the Griffindor table. " Due to the population bottleneck caused by the war, all witches and wizards, either pureblood or muggleborn ages sixteen and older are required to marry. If an offer is made, it must be accepted unless there is another offer made within a month. If a marriage is not made or contracted within a year, the ministry will choose a spouse for you, unless you can afford to pay a 5000 galleon fine to get another year."

As she skimmed down to the next line, she unwisely took a sip of her pumpkin juice. The words made her so livid she choked, and Harry had to thump her on the back. "What is it, 'mione? It can't get much worse."

"Oh can't it? If a child is not produced within three years of a union, a 2500 Galleon fine will be imposed. For those who manage it within a year there is a thousand Galleon bonus - five thousand for twins."

"WHAT! That's like, like a breeding program!" Ron said indignantly. Then he sobered as a new thought hit him. "Hermione, does it say anything about widows?"

She nodded as her eyes met his. " Your mother will have to remarry."

Arthur Weasley had died during the final battle against Voldemort six months before, along with Professors Sinestra and Vector, Mundungus Fletcher, and Rubeus Hagrid. Mad Eye Moody had fought his last fight that night as well, but he was still hanging around Auror headquarters as a ghost.

There were also many students lost. Padma Patil, Susan Bones, Luna Lovegood, Justin Finch-Fletchley, Colin Creevey and his younger brother Dennis were among those who had never made it off the battlefield or had died soon after at St. Mungo’s. Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle had followed Malfoy when he defected to the Order after Voldemort had betrayed Lucius and murdered Narcissa, and made the ultimate sacrifice by protecting Pansy Parkinson from an Avada Kadavra being thrown at her by Bellatrix Lestrange. In the memory of these students, the banners in the hall were a somber black, and would remain that way until the first anniversary of the battle in March except for special occasions.

Hermione spoke again. "But you realize that means all of our professors have to marry?" She looked up at the head table, where the professors were obviously not coping with the news well. Sprout had thrust her copy of the paper at Umbridge and was sobbing into her bowl of porridge; Snape was sitting frozen, as if unable to comprehend the idea. McGonagall was taking deep breaths, while Flitwick was doing a calming charm on Trelawney, whose inner eye had actually worked, telling her of disturbing news. She had come down to get her paper and mail herself, instead of waiting for the house elves to bring them up.

Suddenly another post owl flew in, with an envelope from the ministry. It landed in front of MccGonagall, who looked at it and gasped, bringing Dumbledore instantly to her side. He took the paper and read:

Marriage Offer Number: 1 Ministry tracking number 1001

Prospective Groom: Cornelius O. Fudge
Offer made to: Minerva C. MacGonagall
Reply to Ministry, Marriage office by September 5

There was a personal note at the bottom. " I felt sure of your acceptance, Minerva. I have wanted you for some time, and think we'll get on well." It was signed C. Fudge.

Minerva looked at him, panicked. " He's moved up the date. I have twenty-four hours to find someone else, or marry Fudge. Severus, do you have any quick acting poison handy?"

He shook his head. There was only one vial, and he was saving it for himself in case he needed it. No way in Hades was he getting stuck with some witch chosen by the ministry, as he refused to inflict himself upon anyone as a husband.

Dumbledore straightened. "There's only one thing to do, Min. I will not let you marry that man, and I cannot afford to lose you as a teacher." A hush fell over the students as they surveyed the scene, sure now of what he was going to do. "Minerva Catherine MacGonagall, will you marry me?"

"Yes." Her voice was wobbly.

A burst of applause and shouted congratulations filled the room. "But isn't he, like twice her age? And why do witches that old have to marry? I mean, if the purpose is children?" Ron whispered to Hermione.

"I guess the age difference doesn't matter so much now; wizards can live to be two hundred or so. It would have been different if they were twenty and seventy-five, but at seventy and a hundred-fifty it isn't too bad. And Ron, witches can conceive up to around 130 or so. The Muggles made a big deal about a lady who conceived at ninety - that's nothing to a witch."

Everyone was busily discussing who their possible mates might be. All of the sixth and seventh years were within the age area, and most of the fifth years would be soon if they hadn't already had their birthdays. Suddenly, a bell sounded and they realized that they only had a few minutes before their first class, and quickly finished their porridge before heading off to various parts of the castle for lessons.