Darkness Shadows Light

DARKNESS SHADOWS LIGHTS

By Maddy (maddy_snape@yahoo.co.uk)

Rating: NC-17

Categories: Romance/Angst

Summary: Harry and Snape have a secret that could destroy both their lives *MPreg*

CHAPTER ONE - MISTAKES ARE MADE, OTHERS WILL BE BLAMED

Snape swept around his dungeon classroom, casting derogatory remarks at his third year Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw class.

*Not a talented potion brewer among them* he thought discontentedly.

His reverie was suddenly disturbed by a knock on the door. He looked at it, irritatedly.

\'Enter,\' he said coldly.

The door opened to reveal a dark-haired seventh year with startling green eyes.

\'Mr Potter,\' he stated, his tone dropping to sub-zero temperatures. \'Why do you have the nerve to disturb my class?\'

\'I need a quick word with you,\' the boy replied, looking at him defiantly.

\'And it can\'t possibly wait until after my class?\'

\'No,\' the tone was quiet but firm. Snape felt a ripple of unease down his spine.

\'Very well, Mr Potter,\' Snape said grudgingly and swept up the aisle of the classroom towards his office, trusting that the boy would follow.

Harry shut the door behind him and turned to face Snape who was standing with his arms folded and an impatient look on his face.

\'This isn\'t safe, y...y...\' he began, but was stopped in his tracks as Harry\'s face crumpled, all bravado leaving it. He flung himself at Snape.
\'Oh Severus,\' he sobbed into Snape\'s chest. Snape\'s arms came around Harry, holding the boy im. im. He lovingly stroked his hair, offering comfort in the only way he knew how, being silent and being there when Harry was ready to tell him what was wrong.

Eventually Harry\'s sobs turned to dry shudders. Gently Snape pushed Harry to arms length so he could look at him. The green eyes were unnaturally bright and wide with shock. Snape surveyed him with growing alarm.

\'What\'s happened?\' he asked as gently as possible - a tone his students would never have thought him capable of.

Harry rubbed his sleeve across his face, wiping the tears away.

\'You know I haven\'t been feeling too well lately,\' Harry began.

Snape was instantly concerned. \'What is it?\' he asked urgently, dread filling him at what could cause such an extreme reaction from Harry. Harry who had seen so many terrible things in his young life.

\'I...I went to Madam Pomfrey and she did some tests and then she told me what was wrong with me...\' he trailed off, giving Snape small, frightened glances.

\'What is it?\' Snape asked again, fighting the urge to shake the boy to get some sense out of him.

\'She...she told me that I\'m...\'

\'What?\' Snape almost shouted.

Green eyes met black and Harry finally dropped the bombshell.

\'She told me that I\'m pregnant.\'

Snape stared at Harry in shock.

\'What? How?\' he gasped, unable to form a coherent sentence.

\'The usual way,\'

\'There is no *usual way*!\' spluttered Snape. \'You\'re male.\'

\'I\'m also a wizard.\'

\'Even so, it takes a very powerful wizard to be able to get pregnant and even then you have to desperately *want* to get pregnant.\' He looked at Harry searchingly; there was a redge tge to his face.

\'Harry...did you want this to happen?\' he asked quietly, trying to keep his angndernder control.

\'Yes...No...I don\'t know. Since I realised I was gay it hit me that I would never have a proper family, never have children, something I always wanted. I didn\'t even realise wizards could get pregnant! I\'m so sorry.\' He finished off brokenly, new tears starting to form in his overbright eyes.

Snape was stunned, he didn\'t know how to react. He and Harry had only been together a matter of weeks and as Harry was still a student, it was a closely guarded secret. Everything was bound to come out now. He would lose his job, though that probably wouldn\'t matter. Once Sirius Black found out what he had done to his godson he was as good as dead.

\'What did you tell Madam Pomfrey?\' Snape asked urgently.

\'Nothing! I was so freaked out that I ran straight out of there!\'

\'And came straight here?\'

\'Yes,\'

\'Well that\'s a dead giveaway,\' Snape muttered. \'I imagine Poppy will have gone straight to Albus and as soon as he finds out you came straight here - and believe me he will - he\'ll know exactly who got you pregnant.\' Snape circled round his desk and sat down heavily in his chair.

\'God, I really don\'t need this.\'

\'I\'m really sorry, Severus. I didn\'t think...I just needed to see you.\' Harry was trembling all over, obviously having difficulty standing.

Snape\'s face softened slightly and he held out his arms for Harry. Gratefully Harry crawled onto his lap, comforting and being comforted. They stayed like that for a few minutes, drawing strength from one another, until Snape suddenly remembered his class.

\'Oh shit!\' he exclaimed, tipping Harry off his lip and standing up.

\'Wait here,\' he ordered Harry who was now sprawled in an ungainly heap on the floor and giving Snape an extremely dirty look.

Snape opened the door, slamming it shut behind him. His class jumped.

\'Finish up what you\'re doing and get out!\' he snarled. Luckily the lesson was nearly over and most of the students had finished their Potion and were waiting to test it. Within a couple of minutes the classroom had emptied.

Heading back into his office, Snape ignored Harry and went straight to the fireplace and threw some powder in.

\'Albus?\' he called, \'I need to speak to you.\'

\'Yes you do,\' came the unusually serious tones of the headmaster. \'And bring Harry with you.\'

They floo\'d through to Dumbledore\'s office and he gestured for them to sit down, no twinkle in his vivid blue eyes and not a lemon drop in sight.

\'I take it Poppy had already been to see you?\' Snape asked wearily.

\'Yes, she has.\' Albus said heavil\'Ho\'How long has this been going on Severus?\'

Snape knew there was no point in denying it, Dumbledore obviously knew.

\'A couple of months,\' Snape admitted, his eyes drawn to Harry. Harry just sat there, eyes cast down, staring at the floor.

\'Do youe ane anything to say in your defense?\' Dumbledore asked them both.

\'No headmaster, what I have done is unforgivable. I fully understand that I cannot expect to stay here after betraying your trust. I only ask that you don\'t blame Harry and let him finish his schooling.\'

\'But Severus!\' protested Harry, a note of panic entering his voice.

\'Now, Severus, don\'t be quite so hasty.\' Dumbledore said, his tone lightening just a fraction. \'We have a very tricky situation here, but handled correctly there may be a way out of it.\' He turned to Harry. \'Harry, you know Severus is still spying on Voldemort for us?\'

\'Yes, of course.\' Harry said automatically. Everytime Snape was summoned Harry was filled with fear that his lover would not return.

\'Obviously if Voldemort discovered your relationship with Severus, his cover would be blown.\'

Harry nodded numbly, hearing the unsaid words that Voldemort would then kill Snape without hesitation. Snapeked ked on, not quite understanding.

\'Therefore we have only two options, one is that Harry does not have the baby...\'

\'No!\' interrupted Harry, clutching his stomach. No one was more surprised than Harry at his strong, instinctive reaction.

\'However,\' continued Dumbledore. \'As this baby has been conceived with magic there is no way it can be taken from him without killing Harry.\'

\'So what\'s option two?\' Snape asked quietly.

\'We find another person willing to claim responsibility for being the father.\'
Snape looked at Dumbledore disbelievingly.

\'Albus, are you out of your mind?!? Who the hell can we trust to do that?\' he asked heatedly.

\'Ron.\' Harry stated, looking for confirmation that he was indeed the person Dumbledore had in mind.

Snape looked from one to the other as if they were both mad.

\'Weasley!\' he spluttered. \'Are you both insane?\'

Harry put a hand on his lover\'s arm.

\'He\'s my best friend, if I can\'t trust him who can I trust? He\'s not in a relationship and though I know he\'s straight, no one else really knows for sure.\'

Snape\'s eyes narrowed, a sliver of jealousy rising.

\'How exactly do you know he\'s not gay?\' he asked suspiciously.

\'Because he\'s hopelessly in love with Hermione.\' Harry replied in surprise. \'How else would I know...Oh...\' he trailed off as he realised what Snape had been thinking and his face turned a vivid shade of red. \'No I did not make a pass at him or anything like that.\'

\'If we could get back to the matter in question.\' Dumbledore chided mildly. \'I take it Ron has no idea about your relationship with Severus?\'

\'No.\'

\'I think in the circumstances it would be best if you told him the whole truth. I don\'t think he\'d help with anything less.\'

Harry nodded wordlessly. He was not looking forward to that conversation!

\'You may go now, Harry. Severus, I need to speak to you alone.\'

Harry got up and with one last longing look at his lover, he left the room.

For a moment Albus surveyed the younger wizard silently.

\'I\'m ashamed of you, Severus.\' He said in a low, cold voice. \'What were you thinking? Were you thinking at all? For god\'s sake, Harry only has five months left here, couldn\'t you have waited? Did you not even think about Voldemort?\'

\'As I said before, there is no excuse for my actions.\' Snape replied solemnly.

\'Is Harry the first student...?\' Dumbledore asked tentatively.

Snape looked at the headmaster with shock.

\'Of course! I\'ve never...No!\'

\'Then why Harry?\'

\'I don\'t know...I\'m drawn to him.\'

\'Do you love him?\'

\'I don\'t know,\' Snape replied honestly

\'You don\'t know?\' he asked, slightly astonished.

Snape tried to explain, feeling slightly foolish.

\'I\'m not sure if I *can* love. Before Harry I thought I was several times, but it never lasted. All I know is that when I\'m with Harry it *feels* right.\'

Dumbledore looked at Snape almost compassionately, his temper disappearing as quickly as it had flared up.

\'Well, you had better make up your mind soon. Even if Ron agrees to be the official father, Harry will still need all the support you can give him. After all in 7 1/2 months he will be having your child.

Snape went even paler than usual.

\'What have I done?\' he murmured, the full implications only now starting to sink in...