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January 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
can't wait for more, good start. can't wait to see where you take this.
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January 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Of course that deserve reviews. Very nice I like it, and I'm not a fan of first person, keep it up!
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January 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Hi.
3 Chapters in one go, that's great.
I've a few questions.
How can Ron walk on H/D/S having sex? Aren't they in Malfoy Manor? Or is it in the future?
Sure, Harry is writing. But to whom? (The Prophet, a letter, a diary...)
Who did obliviate the adults when Harry was young?
What potion did Severus use in the 3rd chapter?
I know, there is a lot of questions, but I enjoy a lot your fiction.
3 Chapters in one go, that's great.
I've a few questions.
How can Ron walk on H/D/S having sex? Aren't they in Malfoy Manor? Or is it in the future?
Sure, Harry is writing. But to whom? (The Prophet, a letter, a diary...)
Who did obliviate the adults when Harry was young?
What potion did Severus use in the 3rd chapter?
I know, there is a lot of questions, but I enjoy a lot your fiction.
schedule
January 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
*pounces*
So, yes, Lucius was a prick and i kinda like Severus in general, i have a soft spot for the non- bastard version of him. I really like being able to go back and see Harry's perspective of this, it helps so it's less non-con feeling and more.. well, balanced. Not that i don't like my share of non-con dominance, but.. i rather like this better. and nice sweet lovin is a part of what your Harry needs, so i'm glad to see it. More, when you can!!
So, yes, Lucius was a prick and i kinda like Severus in general, i have a soft spot for the non- bastard version of him. I really like being able to go back and see Harry's perspective of this, it helps so it's less non-con feeling and more.. well, balanced. Not that i don't like my share of non-con dominance, but.. i rather like this better. and nice sweet lovin is a part of what your Harry needs, so i'm glad to see it. More, when you can!!
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January 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Yay!!!!! Three chappies all at once and an awesome lemon among them!!! Personally, I'd like it if you went back to third person. I find sex in first person a bit awkward to both read and write. You can't really describe both partners pleasure in first person. And I'd really like to see the events surrounding Ron walking in on them. But please tell me at least one of his friends still accepts him? Maybe Luna? I could see Luna not caring about that.
Ok, so I deleted the first time I posted this review because I realized some huge wording mistakes I made that might have been confusing.
Ok, so I deleted the first time I posted this review because I realized some huge wording mistakes I made that might have been confusing.
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January 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Nice, but can you write the story in a third person point of view? I just think it'll make it better. Love it anyways. Write more :)
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January 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
yay! back story. *Happy dances all around you.
now Harry can just concentrait on making his Doms happy. Pity about his 'friends' tho. Dicks.
now Harry can just concentrait on making his Doms happy. Pity about his 'friends' tho. Dicks.
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January 17, 2011 at 12:00 AM
Nice explaination on Harry's part, but I agree third person is much easier to write. Actually I don't have an opinion on first or third person writing, but I would love to have more of the story and it it is easier to write that way, I say "You go girl" just keep writing.