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April 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
it is totally ridiculous yet highly entertianing. I really enjoy it. Please do continue.
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April 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Bad Draco! :) sorry i just had to! :) (well he just like his name sake isnt he?) well you are half for given only if you are a good--no scrach that great writer you will try and work on (if only in your head) the next chapter or chapters you when you can do us the great honor of reading the next chapter we can expect more and soon too!!! :) Love ya babe and i do hope that you can get everything straighten out soon. :) love your story--i mean it!!!!
ps how do you like collies? i was just always courious about how they would be! :) hope to hear from you in a week (or sooner if you can swing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
ps how do you like collies? i was just always courious about how they would be! :) hope to hear from you in a week (or sooner if you can swing it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
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April 27, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Ii think that a manipulative, obsessed, scheming Draco is a good one. Also, a Hermione in turmoil and being pursued the wrong way is also good, but may I give you some unsolicited advice? I think your story could be even better with 'show it, don't tell it.' Instead of having Draco recite that Harry and Draco are gay, show it. Have them walk in holding hands, or kiss, or show with their dialogue what their relationship/preferences are. Also, scenes with Hermone pining over Severus and spending time with him would have been wonderful to see. Watching their established relationship and being able to look back to see the signs of Severus' disinterest would have really been fun.
I could have used a few more instances of you showing Draco's courting efforts and planning his strategy before he moved on to his last desperate ploy, as well. It could help me become more drawn into Hermione's/Draco's plight and would have made the scene in the wizengamot more tense.
One last thing... I don't think that any of those people would just accept by word of mouth that Hermione is pregnant, especially when she is protesting any relationship, no one has seen her date Draco and no physical proof is offered. If a confundus charm is being used, imperius, or something put on Hermione to give the illusion that she is expecting I could believe that she would be forced to comply with an archaic, unfair law more than people just blaming hormones for her anger.
And although this is full of concrit, also know that I rarely take the time to do this for anyone. It's definitely not picking on you.
I could have used a few more instances of you showing Draco's courting efforts and planning his strategy before he moved on to his last desperate ploy, as well. It could help me become more drawn into Hermione's/Draco's plight and would have made the scene in the wizengamot more tense.
One last thing... I don't think that any of those people would just accept by word of mouth that Hermione is pregnant, especially when she is protesting any relationship, no one has seen her date Draco and no physical proof is offered. If a confundus charm is being used, imperius, or something put on Hermione to give the illusion that she is expecting I could believe that she would be forced to comply with an archaic, unfair law more than people just blaming hormones for her anger.
And although this is full of concrit, also know that I rarely take the time to do this for anyone. It's definitely not picking on you.
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April 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Ha! Draco's are badly behaved, whether wizard or dog. (Not to be unsympathetic about the damage.)
I like Severus's dry comments about roses sending her into shock etc. I also like the path Severus chooses--very Slytherin-y and moral-y questionable. I'll be curious to see Remus's reactions to the situations. The assorted characters are a bit cartoon-y, but in an entertaining way. I like the plotline so far.
I like Severus's dry comments about roses sending her into shock etc. I also like the path Severus chooses--very Slytherin-y and moral-y questionable. I'll be curious to see Remus's reactions to the situations. The assorted characters are a bit cartoon-y, but in an entertaining way. I like the plotline so far.
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April 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
no problem. puppy draco is probably like draco malfoy... always seeking attention. good luck in getting back to the story.
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April 26, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Lovely chapter but I don't like the love sick puppy Hermione
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April 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Well that was a wonderful chapter!!! well draco is really playing it up isnt he? poor narcissa she didnt know, well she is very excited, isnt she? :) well who wouldnt want hermione for their son she is wonderful! i wondered about severus preferences though i do like it best for this stroy! :) i cant wait to see what is going to happen tonight! i wonder what will draco do =)? i will understand not being able to update all the time i just request that you not abondon the stroy!!! i also LOVE long stories so i have a feeling that i am going to love this one!!!! :) i do hope that you post as soon as you can! :)
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April 25, 2009 at 12:00 AM
2: Fantastic chapter! At least someone believes her, except Severus is going to use her to his advantage (how Slytherin!). I'm sure Harry and Ron woud believe her though...wouldn't they? Severus and Remus? Hmm, I didn't see that one coming, or Hermione being gravely allergic to roses. Who wears roses on themselves?? Only Narcissa... I can't wait for the next chapter!! =)
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April 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM
This is funny, in a very frustrating way; I don't get why Hermione doesn't just hex the shit out of Draco. Make him suffer, please!
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April 24, 2009 at 12:00 AM
Dirty Malfoy!!! Playing tricks on Hermione!! And the Roses BAD!!!!