When Malfoy wants a Witch

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Chapter 1 - Draco: Master of Comebacks

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Draco walked toward the cafeteria quickly. He rubbed his shoulders. He hated the muscle knots he always had. Damn his past. Now, he would have to sit and write a report on his field mission, thanks to the new Ministry law that they could not profile magical creatures anymore. Some of those creatures were dangerous. They needed to understand that they were profiled for a good reason. He'd been all day tracking werewolves who used to be involved with Fenrir Greyback, ergo, he had missed lunch. The Ministry's cafeteria elves would be soon packing everything up for the night. He turned and saw that just one pre-made sandwich was left. That'd do. However, the next thing he saw made him stop in his tracks. How great would it be to slide his hand along those creamy thighs.

Hermione was bent over reaching down into the cooler. She smiled as she got a hold on the last pumpkin juice. She slid back out of the cooler, and she smoothed her skirt down. It had slid up a little and was a bit too short in the first place. She pressed the cold juice bottle briefly to the right side of her neck along the trapezius muscle. It was always so tight and painful.

Draco's hand halted its reach for the last sandwich. Gods, she was so gorgeous. She just saw him as less worthy of notice than hippogryff dung.

Hermione reached out and plucked the plate with the turkey, Swiss, and tomato sandwich up and put it on her tray before continuing down the line to grab a piece of chocolate cake for dessert. She saw Draco standing there staring at her and walked around him without greeting him. He was a PEST.

No matter how Draco adored her, he was hungry and wanted attention. He took the plate with the sandwich from her tray.

Hermione whipped around as she saw her sandwich disappear from the tray. She pouted.

Draco reached out to touch her cheek not noticing the position of her wand. Just a little touch would make him feel better.

“Give it back, Malfoy,” Hermione said, dodging his hand.

"I could take you out and get you something really nice," Draco said, grabbing half of the sandwich and putting it to his lips. "I'll still have room."

Hermione scowled. Would he ever stop being a pest?

"Relashio," she hissed, Draco yelped as he went tumbling backwards. Hermione smiled as she plucked the sandwich out of the air. "I will never date you."

Splash!

Draco looked up at Hermione from the puddle of cleaning mess. A little bit of the liquid dripped in his hair. He winced at the pain in his back and shoulders.

Hermione took a bite of the sandwich as she smirked at him.

He heard a stifled snicker and looked over to see Harry and Ron standing in the doorway.

“You deserved it, Malfoy,” Hermione looked down at him. She smiled, and walked over to sit down at a table some distance from him.

Draco looked at the mess he was covered in. He felt the heat in his cheeks. Enough was enough. She would pay attention to him for once, and he didn't care if he had to lie to all of Wizarding Europe and America to make it happen. She rejected all his courteous advances. He was a Malfoy. He would get what he wanted, no matter what it cost.

He had chased her from one end of the Ministry to the other. He had given her dozens of presents. The flowers he had sent with his name on the card had been set on fire. It had broken his heart to see the ashes of the flowers on his desk.

“Dude, that was hilarious!” Harry said as he helped Draco up.

"You want funny, wait till you see Hermione's face tomorrow," Draco said, trying to glare at Hermione as she ate, but it was too arousing to watch her slowly lick the chocolate cake from the fork she used.

“What will you do?” Ron asked.

"You'll see," Draco said, moaning internally as he felt his trousers tighten. Little flirt would pay for how she treated him.

Hermione was rather glad that she got the better of Draco.

HE was such a nuisance. First he terrorized the union she established to protect freed house-elves, then he tried to give her one! Always asking her out, though she never agreed. Couldn't he just figure out that he wasn't the most handsome man in world? Besides, couldn't he see that she liked another man?

That other man was so handsome, even a hundred Dracos didn't compare. And he was smart and brave. And tactful, unlike Draco. Such wonderful dark hair. Hermione sighed as she thought about it. And the voice: Dreamy. She and he were going to be going out for dinner tomorrow. And they were going to a Potions Conference tonight. When would he finally kiss her?

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Draco tossed floo powder into the fireplace in his office.

"Malfoy Manor, Lord's study."

He would repay her for her ignorance. How could she not see how great he was? He would have her, and she would like it.

"Father," Draco called into the fireplace. "I must speak with you on a matter of utmost urgency."

“Come over, Son.”

Draco stepped out of the fireplace as soon as he was invited.

"I must speak with all our magazines," Draco said, and he flopped listlessly onto the black leather sofa.

“What about?” Lucius asked, ignoring the fact that Draco's uniform was littered with horrible stains.

"I was recently informed that you are an expectant grandfather," Draco said, sitting up and looking into his father's eyes.

“Really? And who's the mother?”

"Hermione Granger," Draco said, flinching as he prepared for his father's wrath. "I proposed to her, but she refused me father, and she says that she is going to kill the baby!"

Lucius' eyebrows rose. The witch wasn't a Pureblood, but she was way more powerful than other witches in that generation. And having her in the family would do lots of good for the family's image.

"Father, she wants to kill my baby," Draco said, bringing tears into his eyes. "And she refuses all my attempts to court her. I've done everything right!"

“Have you given her a house-elf?” Lucius asked, wondering if Draco had done the most important courting tradition.

"Yes! She tried to set it free. It is now in St. Mungo's Elf Ward," Draco said. "You have to help me, Father. Why is she being this way?"

“Maybe you weren't good in bed?”

"Are you going to insult me or save your grandchild?"

"Draco," a woman's voice called. "You're home early."

Draco looked over. Mother! She wouldn't let her little boy be unhappy.

“What grandchild?” Narcissa asked as she hugged Draco.

“Yours,” Draco said as he disentangled himself from his mother's embrace.

"Draco, you're going to be a father?" Narcissa asked, and her eyes were shining brightly.

“Yes, Mother, but she wants to kill the baby! She says that a night of passion with me was a mistake!” Draco cried, snuggling his face in her neck.

"Well, we won't let that happen, will we Lucius?" Narcissa asked, threading her fingers through her baby boy's hair

“Of course not, Cissy. The witch is probably just riddled by hormones and upset.”

"You proposed to her, my sweet baby?" Narcissa asked, continuing to play with her only child's hair.

“Yes, but she doesn't want me. I even presented her an elf! She tried to free it, and the elf had a nervous breakdown.”

"Well, we shall just have to call a meeting of the Ministry Marriage Board, won't we?" Narcissa said, kissing Draco's forehead. She smiled as she remembered when she was brought before the Marriage Board while Lucius had been trying to court her. "And in the meantime, we will need to inform the public."

"You're so good to me, Mother," Draco said, wrapping his arms around her. "So kind and so good."

“Who is the silly witch upsetting you?”

"Hermione Granger," Draco said, putting his cheek in his mother's lap.

“Aww, maybe she just doesn't know the wizarding traditions too well yet. When Lucius gave me an elf, I knew he was serious about marrying me!”

Draco hid his smile in his mother's lap. He was going to get the sweetest revenge. She would have to pay attention to him now.

"She still gave me Hell, though," Lucius said, smiling as he reached a hand out to touch Narcissa's cheek.

“But remember, Mother said you were very foolish when courting her.”

"All Malfoy men are," Narcissa said, smiling at her husband. "But it's always alright in the end. We will just make sure that Hermione doesn't fight you as long as I fought your father. Do you know he terrorized any other wizard who was near me?"

“Cissy, Love, I was mad for you. I couldn't bear to see you even talking to someone else, especially not that Rabastan Lestrange!”

"I won't deny that I rather enjoyed seeing you hex wizards for me," Narcissa said, reaching out and taking Lucius' hand.

"Shouldn't we call the magazine writers here?" Draco asked, tugging on his mother's sleeve.

“Why don't you go and call the writers, for your mother and I need to have a private talk.”

Draco knew very well what his father meant. His parents were often at it like rabbits. It was only because his father had insisted that she take a potion for early menopause because of her child-birthing difficulties that had prevented her from having babies that he was not up to his neck in siblings.

However, they didn't know that he was still a virgin. He couldn't get excited by witches. But only by his true obsession. Just Hermione made him hard, but she wouldn't help him escape devil's snare if he were caught up in it.

It was so unfair. Didn't she see that he was a great catch? He had the biggest vault, the best looks and a brilliant mind. He would spoil her, make her a very pampered witch. She wouldn't have to work anymore. She could go shopping with his mother every day. And please him in bed every night. She would quiver under him, and he would give her pleasure. She would say that she always wanted him. He would sprog her up properly too.

He would hex other wizards if they looked at her.

At least the good thing was that Potter and Weasley were gay. Gay for each other as well. So these didn't pose him any threat.

Draco smiled as he fell into bed that night. He reached over and hugged a pillow. He would be snuggling a woman soon. And not just any woman. Hermione. His Hermione. She would beg him for his body. Of course, she didn't know what was to come. But he needed her. He had wasted too much time in attempting to get her attention.

Now, she didn't have a choice, or she wouldn't.

Maybe the press scare would make her amiable. Then he could shag her. Make sure she is pregnant.

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Hermione walked into the Ministry with her head held high the next day. She frowned as she saw people point at her.

“What a bitch!” some of the witches nearby whispered.

Hermione frowned at them. What did she do to them?

“Hermione, may I have a word with you?” Kingsley asked before she could get into the lift.

"Sure," Hermione said, scowling at the witches who sneered down their pretty noses at her.

When they entered Kingsley's office, she saw Lucius and Draco already sitting there.

"What do you want?" Hermione asked, glaring at Draco.

"You see how she talks to me," Draco said, hiding his smile in his hands.

“Hermione, the Malfoys are here because of an important matter. They are agreeable to settle it out of court.”

"I've nothing to do with them," Hermione said, stepping back from the Malfoys.

“I think that having Draco's baby is something,” Kingsley said gravely.

"What would a child of his have to do with me?" Hermione glared at Draco as he sat with his face in his hands giggling as he pretended to cry.

“Miss Granger. My son has told me that he has proposed to you, but you have turned him down. Also, you did not accept his courting gifts.”

"Your son is the same little liar he's always been," Hermione said, crossing her arms as her nose crinkled.

“The Malfoys have evidence to back up their claims. And the elf also testifies. They will invoke the Compulsory Marriage Act if you don't settle.”

"You can't do that!" Hermione shouted. "I want nothing to do with THAT!"

Draco made a sobbing noise and threw himself onto his father's lap.

"Why does she hate me, Father?" Draco asked, clutching his father's robes as he hid his delighted face in his father’s robes.

“Miss Granger, you are a smart witch. I am sure you do not want a hearing.”

"Of what does your demon spawn accuse me? And what does it have to do with his child? I didn't even know he had a child!" Hermione stalked toward Draco. She would wring a confession out of him. Filthy little bugger!

“You seduced me! You told me you wanted me! You used me! And now you want to kill our innocent baby!”

"He's lost his mind!" Hermione said, pointing at Draco's quivering back. "I have never touched him! His brain has no doubt been addled with some dangerous wizard STD!"

“Hermione, everyone in the department knew you had something going with Draco. Why are you in denial?” Kingsley asked gently.

“Me? With him? Are you all nutters?”

“You said to me in private that you were scared to tell your friends about me,” Draco sobbed.

"Draco and I have no relationship, except at work! And then I communicate with him as he profiles magical beings just because they may be a werewolf! Have you spoken with Remus Lupin about how he has been subjected to random searches?"

“So you deny everything we did after work?”

"I've never seen you after work, and I've always turned down your solicitations. You are nothing better than a male prostitute."

"She was my first and only!" Draco said as his father helped him to his feet and continued to hold him so his back was to Kingsley.

Draco looked up at Hermione and winked.

“Minister, I will not withdraw my application for the Compulsory Marriage Act. It is in my family's interest not to have a bastard heir.”

Draco plastered on the wet eyes as he turned to Kingsley.

"Do you think she just hated the ring?" he asked, and he held out a green ring box. He opened it and shoved it under the Minister's nose.

Draco sniffed a little as he looked at it too. A four karat, round cut diamond set in white gold was flanked on each side by two karat canary diamonds.

"I am sure every witch would love a ring like that," Kingsley said as he looked at the expensive ring.

"I had it inscribed for her as well," Draco said, pulling it out. "See!" He wiped his tears on the ack of his hand.

Kingsley took the ring and read it aloud, "To My Only True Love: HJG."

"I've never seen such a thing in my life!" Hermione said, backing away from them. "I've never had sex with anyone, let alone that player!"

She was very angry now. How could he do this to her?

"She wants to kill our LOVE child!" Draco said, and he proceeded to faint.

“Now, Draco, stop this theatre!”

"I WANT TO KILL HIM!" Hermione said, flying at Draco.

“Hermione, my Love, will you marry me?” Draco asked, kneeling and showing her the ring.

"Not if you were 500 years old, not if I was 500 years old! I wouldn't marry or have sex with you if we were the last two people on the planet and the future of the human species depended on us having sex simply for procreation!"

“Witches are very moody during their pregnancies,” Lucius whispered to Kingsley, who nodded knowingly. His wife had recently given birth to a baby girl.

"I'm going to finish what I started in our third year at Hogwarts!" Hermione cried as she smacked Draco's face and pulled out her wand.

Draco gasped as he found himself hanging upside down in the air by an ankle.

“Hermione, put him down, gently,” Kingsley boomed.

"I think I will drop him out of the window. Wizards bounce, don't they?" Hermione asked, tapping her wand on her chin thoughtfully.

"Kill me if you want, Hermione. But let our baby live!"

Draco swung forward then and pressed his mouth to Hermione's tightly gripping the back of her head with his hands. Hermione gasped at this, and Draco took the opportunity and pushed his tongue into her mouth.

He had wanted to kiss her for so long. So it didn’t matter that he was hanging upside down whilst doing it.

Hermione whipped back from him, and slugged him in the face.

"Don't you ever touch me again."

"Narcissa said the same thing to me when she was pregnant with Draco," Lucius said.

“Love, maybe we should go home and take a soothing bath?” Draco cooed as he released himself from her spell.

Kingsley chuckled. Hermione needed a man. And Draco was not the worst guy.

"I'm going to cut yours off!" Hermione said, kicking Draco's bottom as he tried to get up.

“Cissy was also prone to fits of rage just like these,” Lucius said and sighed.

"I seem to remember my own wife threatening to 'stick mine where the sun doesn't shine,'" Kingsley said, and he chuckled.

"Draco, I'm going to kill you, bring you back to life, and kill you again!" Hermione said, lunging at the blond auror.

Draco caught her in his arms trapping her fists against his chest.

"I'll be a good husband, Hermione."

“That won’t happen!”

She broke down in sobs and Draco held her.

"I don't know what you're playing at."

She beat his chest with her fists.

Draco smiled as he held her.

"I'll be a good husband, Hermione," Draco said, pressing his lips to her forehead.

“Don't touch me, you git!”

Hermione hit his chest as she continued to cry into his robes.

“Now now, Love, don't cry. We will have a beautiful baby.”

"We're not having a baby, Malfoy," Hermione said, seizing Draco's nipples and twisting them tightly.

He winced but didn't cry out. His kitten liked it rough. Who would've known?

“Maybe we should go and meet my mother? She'd love to see you. You both could go baby shopping.”

“Hermione, why don't you just accept Draco's proposal?” Kingsley asked. "He is quite able to provide for you and is a good man."

“I won't! And he's nasty!”

"Hermione, I am a highly decorated auror. I'm a good man. I will do right by you."

"Then tell the truth," Hermione snapped at him as she grabbed a handful of his hair.

Draco winced as she tugged at the silky blond hair.

“We made love all night long. You told me I was your dream man. That's the truth.”

"You are a nightmare!" Hermione snapped, and she turned and stalked from Kingsley's office.

“We will then see her in the hearing tomorrow,” Lucius said gravely.

Draco stomped his foot. What was wrong with her?

“Don't worry, Draco, she'll come around. Pregnant witches can be a public menace,” Kingsley said reassuringly.

"Witches are trouble," Draco said, and he padded off after her. She needed him protecting her.

Lucius sighed. He remembered following Narcissa around the same way. It was obvious that there was a lot of passion between his son and the witch.

The Marriage Board would be delighted to see the next Malfoy brought before them. It wasn't a generation till the Malfoy heir brought a witch before them.

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How did he dare to allege that she was pregnant!

“Hermione, wait for me!” Draco called out as he ran to her.

Hermione whipped around and before she even thought, her wand was doing all the speaking. Ropes flew out of the end of it, and bound him.

"You will never speak to me again. Do you know what people are saying about me?"

“That you have caught the hottest bachelor?” he said and grinned.

"NO, they are calling me a slut and a bitch!" Hermione said, and she stormed off leaving him tied up on the floor with a grin on his face.

He sure had her attention now.

He got rid of his bonds quickly and followed her stealthily.

Hermione flung open the door of her office and slammed it shut loudly.

Draco sneaked into her office quietly as she was too distracted with sobbing to notice him.

Hermione curled up on the couch and buried her face in the pillow.

“My offer still stands,” he said as he stood behind her.

"I hate you! I hate you! Are you blind or just good old fashioned stupid? You've ruined my chances with the man that I am interested in forever!" Hermione said, before she went back to crying in the pillow.

“There's no one better than me, Sugar,” Draco said and lay down next to her.

“Don't touch me!” she shrieked, and before thinking she used the only method of escape with which her mind could come up. She didn't notice the tingling in her lower spine where his hand had touched.

She balled her hand up into a fist and punched him in the groin as hard as she could. Draco fell back off the couch clutching himself as his eyes teared.

Hermione stepped over him and disapparated with a clap of thunder.

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There was Chapter 1. Hope you all enjoyed it. Please feed the plot caiman. (Everyone has a plot rabbit. I wanted to be unique!)

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