rate_review Reviews

Wow, talk about confrontational first with the father and then with the son! Scorpius is definitely feeling hurt that his father is cheating on his mom, and with the one person he has most admired ever since he has known his best friend Albus. No doubt Scorpius is deeply in love with his father's not so secret lover, which makes the knowledge of his unexplained betrayal that much more painful. Harry is the ultimate victim here as both of these men seem at odds with their attempts to possess him body and soul, but falter in earning his trust and love. I have truly enjoyed this potent brew of yours, and hope to see it to the ending it deserves. So on that note please continue!

No! Why is Scorpius being so mean to Harry? I hope they make up soon. Wow..you're story is getting so addicting..and so fast too! Great job! You have really good writing skills..you've got me completely hooked! Please update soon, I can't wait to read more! 8D

It's heating up!

can't wait to read the next chapter!!!!!!!!!! keep up the great work!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gah. Omigosh dont leave me hanging! Whats gonna happen next? Im dying here. -bites fingernails-
Update soon please.

can't wait to read the next chapter!!!!!!!!!!!1

Very interesting plotline. I'm liking it, but you have quite a few problems grammatically.

Sometimes it's hard to tell 'who' is thinking or talking, and you mix person/viewpoints in the same paragraph. When in a conversation, it's best to separate each person's speech with a new paragraph - i.e. :

John turned to ask, "Hey Joe, did you get my sister's letter?"

Joe nodded, "Yeah, just yesterday." He closed the door behind his friend and followed him down the hall. "When did she mail it?"

John grabbed a game paddle and plopped down on the sofa, "I don't know...a couple of days ago, I guess." He started pressing buttons gleefully.

"Hey!" Joe snatched the paddle away, sat down next to John and said smugly, "My house, my game; I get first player."

Just one way to avoid confusion as to whom is speaking or doing an action. The first chapter is very run-together and diffcult to understand. I recommend an edit. Another thing you could do is concentrate a chapter or segment in only one person's point of view. On the other hand, your spelling and punctuation is pretty good.

Otherwise I really like where the story is going. Please continue.

Good chapter.

This is an excellent story of Harry being the obsession of two Malfoys, but for very different reasons. Draco's reasons are more like a spoiled, petulant child who is never quite satisfied, and full of spiteful malice, which is a shame when compared to his son. Scorpius is the antithesis of his father in everyway as he has earned Harry's trust and respect due to his friendship with Al and brotherly love for Allegra. Somehow Harry has helped to invest Scorpius with a caring heart which will be fatal for Draco I suspect.I hope to see more of this not so little gem of yours soon' so on that note please continue.

loved the new chapter!!!!!!! can't wait to read the next one!!!!!!!!!!!!