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May 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well, first things first, the name I have here and several other places is a combo of my first and middle names. My best friend found out that it was my mom's nightmare that other kids would start calling me "mariteri". She started calling me that and it's been stuck ever since. It took me a time to figure out how to spell it myself. A pain in the rear that I'm sure you understand.
Next let me tell you, the story is a gem. I'm really enjoying it. Sure it has its little problems, but nothing that cannot be overcome or ignored let me assure you. The only thing that comes to mind to be honest, is that scene between Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy. It's not the m/m scene that I have a problem with. It was done very well by the way. No, my problem was with all the different names Lucius called Snape during it. I really don't think Lucius Malfoy would start cooing at Snape like a peacock to a peahen like that. True, they were blowing off steam, but to call him all those different names? Between the bi-curious scene before this added to this and the fact that he was having sex constantly with another man as well as a woman, I have a feeling what you are setting up is an in the closet Lucius. I'm not saying that this is the case, but this is what it looks like so you might want to think over where exactly you want to go with this story. As for all those "dark" something or other and "inky" whatevers, you might want to look over that chapter and have Lucius call Snape something that doesn't sound so, well, like he's trying too hard to get into his pants.
That's about it. Like I said, I am enjoying the story. Keep up the good work and you update soon.
Next let me tell you, the story is a gem. I'm really enjoying it. Sure it has its little problems, but nothing that cannot be overcome or ignored let me assure you. The only thing that comes to mind to be honest, is that scene between Severus Snape and Lucius Malfoy. It's not the m/m scene that I have a problem with. It was done very well by the way. No, my problem was with all the different names Lucius called Snape during it. I really don't think Lucius Malfoy would start cooing at Snape like a peacock to a peahen like that. True, they were blowing off steam, but to call him all those different names? Between the bi-curious scene before this added to this and the fact that he was having sex constantly with another man as well as a woman, I have a feeling what you are setting up is an in the closet Lucius. I'm not saying that this is the case, but this is what it looks like so you might want to think over where exactly you want to go with this story. As for all those "dark" something or other and "inky" whatevers, you might want to look over that chapter and have Lucius call Snape something that doesn't sound so, well, like he's trying too hard to get into his pants.
That's about it. Like I said, I am enjoying the story. Keep up the good work and you update soon.
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May 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Wow...I was wondering WTF when he tasted Vanilla from her nipples, but the ol' noggin clicked when he said she was a new mother, LOVED the italian, *swoons* I want an italian man LOL, actually a French, Italian, Spanish.....*Goes off the track* LOL, Anyway applause for you Doll, I read some of your other fics last night and I have to say they were brilliant! Corset Laces was sweet! I'm a Lucius whore along with Draco...Oh and sometimes Tom Riddle LMAO, basically I'm a loyal Slytherin supporter PMSL. Sexually free for all snakes :P I cannot wait till Lucius and Hermione find out who one another really are...Bring on the heat!! Loving this story sweetcheeks and I cannot wait for more! *kisses*
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May 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
*SQUEE* OMG--I absolutely love this story! I'm freaking out at how cool it is that Hermione is inadvertantly teaching Lucius how to make love again after 20+ years married to an ice-queen. Funny, yet erotic and sensual too--a very yummy read!
Well done lady!
Well done lady!
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May 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Re: chapter four
::fanning face:: Oh my, call me a romantic, but Lucius kissing the back of Hermione's hand was very sexy indeed!
Gods, I love this story!
::fanning face:: Oh my, call me a romantic, but Lucius kissing the back of Hermione's hand was very sexy indeed!
Gods, I love this story!
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May 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
OMG...she had a baby??? Was the baby a result of rape? Great story btw.
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May 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
RE: chapter five
I think that it is truly beautiful that Remus and Narcissa have found a kindred spirit and romantic love together.
I'm happy that Lucius and Narcissa have decided to end their marriage amicably and remain friends to each other--very sweet.
::crying:: It is heartbreaking that poor Lucius has never had anyone love him, and that he doesn't think that he is able to cope with love--poor honey!
I think that it is truly beautiful that Remus and Narcissa have found a kindred spirit and romantic love together.
I'm happy that Lucius and Narcissa have decided to end their marriage amicably and remain friends to each other--very sweet.
::crying:: It is heartbreaking that poor Lucius has never had anyone love him, and that he doesn't think that he is able to cope with love--poor honey!
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May 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
RE: chapter six
Well, that was interesting to see Lucius get his rocks off by being serviced by another man, and then see him learn the secrets to how it is done--very informative.
Keep up the good work--can't wait to read futher updates!
Well, that was interesting to see Lucius get his rocks off by being serviced by another man, and then see him learn the secrets to how it is done--very informative.
Keep up the good work--can't wait to read futher updates!
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May 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Well, I have just read chapters 1-8 in one sitting, and I have a few comments:
IT IS SOOOOO HAWT!!!! I think you're characters are wonderful, and I love the depth that you go to explain them, and their feelings.
I can't wait to hear more about 'Juliet's' past, and even a little more of 'Max's' (I know who they are...I'm not completely retarded....although to hear my school-mates talk.....)
Your story is wonderful! Keep it up!
IT IS SOOOOO HAWT!!!! I think you're characters are wonderful, and I love the depth that you go to explain them, and their feelings.
I can't wait to hear more about 'Juliet's' past, and even a little more of 'Max's' (I know who they are...I'm not completely retarded....although to hear my school-mates talk.....)
Your story is wonderful! Keep it up!
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May 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Plain and simple, that was wonderful and very hot! I
am loving this story. I can't wait to see what happens
next for them. I can see them growing closer...but with her
just having a baby...my curiosity is on overdrive. :)
am loving this story. I can't wait to see what happens
next for them. I can see them growing closer...but with her
just having a baby...my curiosity is on overdrive. :)
schedule
May 19, 2008 at 12:00 AM
*sighs* that was great. Your scenarios are very inventive and oh, Hermione (Juliet) has a son? Very interesting...I hope we get some more back story soon~~ Great job!