rate_review Reviews

 You stop riding with and so it begins wow you should've done at least one more chapter you like Babylon 5  I would guess 

I really like this story alot. Can please write some more chapters?

I understand, as far as the words, structure, ect. mainly its because im working w/out an editor, should be getting one soon though so that it do not take away from the story. thanks for the review.

blessed be,
aria

You have a good premis for this story, however Your grammar, capitalization, and punctuation need serious work. It's "I'm" not Im and "I" in the middle of the sentence is ALWAYS capitalized. Watch out for your homophones! "Except" does not mean the same as "Accept", nor does "weather" mean the same as "whether". Avoid using abbreviations for words like "minute". These things need to be spelled out. Work on description. Fill out your story and breathe life into your characters. Who are they? What is their motivation? Where do you want this story to end up? How are you - or your characters, as the case may be- going to get it there?

Again, you have a good start. Work on your writing and make this story fulfill its potential.

Peace,
Ithilin

I like it. Please update soon.