AFF Fiction Portal

rate_review Reviews

for Light on the Dark Side of Me

by cocoasnape

person erin03
schedule January 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Merlin, I want to drown in that voice too (shudders)
person Cindy
schedule January 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.
person Philomel
schedule January 31, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow. I must say I'm very impressed seeing that this is your first story. You take your time and let the feelings develop slowly which is great.
However, you might want to look out for a beta because you still make some little mistakes. Nothing bad, rest assured, but still irritating.
I read the whole story until chapter 12 in one go, so here comes one lengthy review (I won't quote all the good lines, it would take too much space to do so):

Chapter 2 - "The Talk" by Dumbledore was hilarious! Harry's so cute in his confusion.
3 - You made Snape smile! *loves* And Hermione's comment "Intense people have intense sex" was awesome. Hermione herself is great.
4 - The mature behaviour of Harry when offering Snape his worst memory in exchange to restore the magical balance between them made me squee. The interaction between these three men is lovely, funny, great. And these first glimpses of Snape's issues *sighs*
5 - The sarcastic, snapping dialogues between Harry and Snape made me laugh throughout the whole chapter. Lots and lots of great lines. The way you drop these subtle hints all along is very good.
8 - Snape is bitching about Bellatrix? *lol* This slowly increasing intimacy and trust is well described wothout being too obvious.
10 - You had me drooling all over my desk when Snape tries to inimaidate Harry by behaving all dominant - so sexy!
11 - The passive behaviour of Snape is quite arousing, especially by causing Harry's forced forwardness. The "Thank you" at the end was soooo sweet.
12 - Hot. Just hot. Snape losing control drool/squee/sigh* Can't wait for more of this...

So, all in all a nicely developing plot with great characters and beautiful descriptions of scenes and dialogues. Keep going!
person MistressofDisaster
schedule January 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
OMG!
I just so love this story!
I can't wait to read the next chapter.
This isn't your first fanfic is it?
I mean you're type of writing and making the story exciting all through it, without some tiring text passages that are only boring to no end, is just so fascinating .
I am writing myself but I never quite managed that so respect from me!
Thumbs up keep on writing !
*hugs*
MD
person Ajax
schedule January 30, 2006 at 12:00 AM
I have read your story, I loved it, and i hope you update soon!!!!!!
VERY soon!
person kataly
schedule January 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Very good, hope to see an update soon.

Kat
person JJ
schedule January 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Wow!!! It's been a while, but what a surprise when I got back!!! You have realistically and sensitively portrayed the development of their relationship from unliked teacher and slacker student to tentative relationship to HOT SEX!!!!! I need an air conditioner in here!!! And it's the middle of winter!!!! They seem to be in their own little world, and rightly so if the focus of you story is on their budding relationship and how it affects them both. The way you restrick Snape by keeping his clothes on and only pleasuring Harry (never Harry pleasuring him) is very dramatic. Besides the dark mark, what else is you Severus hiding???? How is he going to take the boy and turn him into a man now that the genie is out of the box? Harry has been so starved for love and is so hesitant and needy in this AU that the pain and work necessary for him to become the formitable weapon of the light is going to be very traumatic. And the way that Snape showed Harry how to hide his feelings was incredible!! Quite a plausable reason for Harry's inability to master occulumency in the past and his means of mastering it now. Both of your characters are severely broken and only together might they be fixed, but in times of war and what has to be done to prepare for the coming battle, I'm afraid they will only be broken more - possibly beyond repair. That is unless the gods (read AUTHOR) is more forgiving than reality tends to be. God, don't you love fiction!
person Scarlett
schedule January 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Please continue to write more. I am really fond of your writing!
person QueenNilya
schedule January 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
Great story!! It's so wonderful to read about when Snape finally gives in to emotions. He always get portrayed as being cold and hard, and I love him with emotion and losing control......you're doing awesome with this story, please keep writing........I am looking forward to the next chapter very much!!!!

Do you have an e-mail update list? If so, can you add me????

nilyaviewen@hotmail.com
person Anon
schedule January 29, 2006 at 12:00 AM
http://movies.groups.yahoo.com/group/snape_lover/