rate_review Reviews

very good. Actually Very very very goo. better than any thing i\'ve written like that. Nice cliff hanger too for the next chapters. Hope u im me soon.

tRacer are you sure your even old enough to be on this web site??? Cause it sure doesn\'t sound like it!!! If you can\'t say anything constructive then don\'t read the stories, Fortunately we all have different tastes as to what we like, This Fic is not what I would read But that dosen\'t mean I have to be nasty about it. If your an adult you need to do some serious growing up , if your not then you need to get off this web site.

t-racer, screw off, and by the way, you have treadmarks on your ass. and the other two, thank you very much for being POLITE about how you felt about my fic. and you see, ive been writing it in my notebook, so im typing everything in for the first tme when its going into the chapter. and i went throught everything i have right now, and ive eliminated so many things that were all about brittni that i think the story will be pretty well done. and im not trying to make her into the \"perfect little angel\". shes going to have her problems. and she will be a unique character, a VERY unique character. but once again, i SINCERELY thank you for the reviews. im not being sarcastic here.

While I can agree with some of the points your other reviewer made, I cannot be quite as harsh. Your story has many good qualities that go in your favor. First, there aren\'t that many spelling errors. Believe me, I\'ve read some that make your\'s look like it\'s been professionally edited. Second, your grammar isn\'t bad, nor is your punctuation. You help the reader by spacing your paragraphs well, and your work is easy to read. Any mistakes you have made are easily corrected by snagging a beta reader. Your biggest problem is that this story is the worst kind of Mary Sue there is: a self-insertion Mary Sue. Now don\'t get me wrong, some Mary Sue\'s can be amusing to read, but this is not. It is very painful, and frankly boring, to plow through a work that makes yourself the most interesting, perfect, lovable, etc, etc, etc, character that everyone falls in love with or is in awe of. It\'s a blatant fantasy that\'ll garner reviews that will scorch with extreme prejudice. You have potential kid. Use it by creating something more original. Heck, make your character a little wierd or boring at first. Look at Luna Lovegood. She suddenly appeared in the story, and made friends with the main characters by being odd. That\'s way more interesting than perfection. Oh, by the way, don\'t describe your character much. It slows the story down, and usually is only interesting to immature readers. It\'s one of my big pet peeves... Keep trying, though, but not with this premise. You\'lld sod some heavy-duty flame retardant and a thick skin if you do.