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June 7, 2004 at 12:00 AM
great story!!!! i don\'t know witch i like better HO/HG orHP/GW but i am glad you put harry with hermoine in the end
Adn one more thing YOU CAN\'T APARATE ON HOGWORTS GROUNDS!!! HONSTLEY DOSEN\'T ANYONE READ HOGWARTS A HISTORY
Adn one more thing YOU CAN\'T APARATE ON HOGWORTS GROUNDS!!! HONSTLEY DOSEN\'T ANYONE READ HOGWARTS A HISTORY
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April 26, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Oh, so you spelled the name of your main character wrong in only the FIRST EIGHT chapters. That explanation is soooo intelligent and just has me chomping at the bit to read this literary masterpiece.
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April 26, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Anon, why dont you just fucking go tol bel because, if you hate the story so much, JUST STOP FUCKING READING IT AND LEAVE ME ALONE!! goddess, youre being a bitch!
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April 7, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Nikki, actually, i spelled it wrong in the first eight chapters and i havent fixed it yet. but thank you for reading chapter 9 and up.
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March 21, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Uh, I don\'t know how to tell you this, but from Chapter 9 and up you have mispelled Lailani every single time. You should correctly spell the protagonists name in your story; it\'s right there at the top of the page if you forget.
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February 25, 2004 at 12:00 AM
okay, Anon, i just want to know why you feel the rude to be so rude. and just to let you know, serenitybloom is shocked that you were that rude.
thank you, Aoibheann, for that constructine criticism, i REALLY appreciate it. im really happy that you have brought to light some things that i need to change and i will change them as i write. again, i thank you deeply.
thank you, Aoibheann, for that constructine criticism, i REALLY appreciate it. im really happy that you have brought to light some things that i need to change and i will change them as i write. again, i thank you deeply.
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February 24, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Yeah, it is kind of juvenile. Ummmm, the word drivel comes to mind.
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February 24, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Wow - such harsh words for something you can simply choose NOT to read. If you want some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, which is what reviews should be about:
The writing is, at times, simplistic in nature. Not quite as juvenile in nature as these last three reviews from anon, tRacer, and honestly, but a bit unpracticed. You need to take the original character out of focus every now and then and give the readers a break from her. I have written fics with original an original character as one of the leads, but my OC also served as a springboard for a few more storylines and didn\'t always function as the one bright spot in the wizarding world.
I appreciate that you are continuing on, and in later chapters, the writing does get a bit better. You should focus more on sentence structure, keeping your tenses agreeing, and proper grammatical structure. That and tweaking your plot a bit so there is MORE of one and you should be fine. I just wish you had started out by not using an original character so central to the story.
Good luck, and understand that \"reviewers\" like the three mentioned above are not reviewers, they are flamers, and all they are trying to do is hurt your feelings. Writing is harsh, criticism can be cold, but you need to look at the reviews that offer you something constructive and move on.
The writing is, at times, simplistic in nature. Not quite as juvenile in nature as these last three reviews from anon, tRacer, and honestly, but a bit unpracticed. You need to take the original character out of focus every now and then and give the readers a break from her. I have written fics with original an original character as one of the leads, but my OC also served as a springboard for a few more storylines and didn\'t always function as the one bright spot in the wizarding world.
I appreciate that you are continuing on, and in later chapters, the writing does get a bit better. You should focus more on sentence structure, keeping your tenses agreeing, and proper grammatical structure. That and tweaking your plot a bit so there is MORE of one and you should be fine. I just wish you had started out by not using an original character so central to the story.
Good luck, and understand that \"reviewers\" like the three mentioned above are not reviewers, they are flamers, and all they are trying to do is hurt your feelings. Writing is harsh, criticism can be cold, but you need to look at the reviews that offer you something constructive and move on.
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February 24, 2004 at 12:00 AM
See, im not the only one who thinks your story sucks bloody ass....
With love,
tRacer
With love,
tRacer
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February 12, 2004 at 12:00 AM
This is fucking horrible. Don\'t you wonder why no one is leaving reviews or reading this shitty story. It sucks and you remove all the HONEST reviews, how incredibly juvenile.