rate_review Reviews

Killer update! Harry and Hermione loving each other is just so damn adorable. Still would like to know what the hell is wrong with Ron? Why is he acting like that? Update again real soon, please. ^^

Okay, I am a creative writing major in college, and I thought I\'d give you some feedback you can actually use instead of just critising you as some of these other reviewers have done. First of all your characters need to feel more sympathetic. I see that people are angry about the fact that characters are different. This wouldn\'t be a problem if you took the time to delve more into Ron\'s character. WHY is he beating Hermione? Why is he different after the confrontation with Voldermort? Secondly, pacing pacing pacing! Most of the story is in summary, so THAT\'S why it feels like it\'s running too fast. I felt very detatched reading it. I felt nothing for any of the characters because it was in summary. The way to combat that is to go back to the beginning. Don\'t just tell us that Ron\'s been different. Have Ron and Harry interact in a scene. Draw out the part where Harry discovers Hermione\'s being abused. Add a few more scenes in the story in general. You\'re dialogue is really good, and I think if you add more scenes with dialogue, the story would vastly improve. On the other side of things, I like the idea of the story. I\'m all for fanfics where Ron\'s the bad guy. I\'m a Slytherian symathizer, and I love seeing the good guys go bad. I also like the pairing. I really like how you write Harry. He\'s good without annoying me. You have a good start here. You just need to revise a litte, and you could have a wonderful story.

AW! The chapter was sweet. Harry and Hermione in love is adorable.

Unlike everyone else knocking you down, I\'ll just say interesting story. I hope you continue this.

Just want to say I love your other story The Marriage Law! I don\'t know what the huge controversy is about this story. If I don\'t like a story or see mistakes in it I usually just immediately leave. I\'m not here to flame at all, I for one support the Harry/Hermione coupling. Pacing the story and such is up to the author, not reviewers. All I want is for you next time you write to have two things next to you. A dictionary and a thesaurus. THIS ISN\'T MEANT TO BE A FLAME, HONEST!

I write HP fics myself and I always keep those two handy. Believe me, writing even just for fun, is an effort. Hell, my stories aren\'t perfect. I don\lwaylways use correct grammer and sentencing structure, but I continue writing because someone out there will take to a story and want to read more.

I\'m sure you\'re sooooooo sick of suggestions. I just hope you keep writing. Also, any cursing and such you feel the need to send my way if I hoffeoffended, is fine. I hope I didn\'t. Bye.

Ron\'s a rat bastard for abusing Hermione! I hope you write more about why he\'s treating her that way. But I love how Harry is there to pick up the pieces. I adore Harry/Hermione stories. Fabulous job. ^_^

Awesome story. I love Harry/Hermione pairings, although it\'s hard to see Ron acting in that way. I hope you update soon, I\'m completely taken with this fic. ^_^

Pretty nice start, Potter. Story has a lot of potential.

But what I really wanted to say was I hope the reviewer Jo didn\'t stomp on your pride too much. Nasty idiots are a waste of time, so I hope you keep on writing. As for Jo, I would like to say I was shocked and appalled by this malicious review. I\'m all for constructive criticism, but this was just plain hateful. I was pissed off on the writers behalf.
You obviously have real issues if you need to tear down someone in such a way. If you didn\'t like the story finut gut get some much needed therapy because you seem to think your fucking J.K. Rowlings and know everything about writing! Not by a long shot I\'m sure.

Potter, great story! ^_~

I\'m sorry to say I have to agree with Jo on several points. These characters are so out of character that I can\'t even imagine them as HP ... they sound like totally random people you just thought up in your head and slapped HP names to. Also, writing is an art. Subtlety and eloquence get your points across much better than just plopping words down on paper, or in this case, on the internet. These are just some things to consider. You\'re clearly a beginner and will get better with time.

For Christ