How Soon Is Now?

This story is slash. If you no like, go ‘way now. Bye. xxx

Disclaimer : Draco, Harry and anything else you recognize doesn’t belong to me. It belongs to JK Rowling. Lucius Malfoy belongs to me!! Oh, okay, apparantly he doesn’t... yet. Anything else you don’t recognize does belong to me- well, I’m claiming it anyway.
The song ‘How Soon Is Now?’ ( great heavy guitar sound at the beginning ) isn’t mine either. That belongs to Morrissey Marr songs Ltd. And more recently t.u.
u.

Thanx to MegaB. xxx

How Soon Is Now?

I am the son
I am the heir
Of a shyness that is criminally vulgar
I am the son and the heir
Of nothing in particular

Draco Malfoy. The Malfoy heir. I’m going to inherit all this one day. This huge house and everything in it. All the land it’s on. But what’s the use of it all if I can’t have the one thing I really want? If I had him, I wouldn’t need all this, and if I can’t have him, I don’t want all this. It might as well be nothing because that’s what it means to me.
Father thinks I’ll marry that nice girl he picked out for me and introduced me to last week. She’s from a fine wizarding family, pure blood, of course. She’s beautiful- blonde, clear blue eyes, great body- but when I look at her I wish I was looking at black hair, green eyes... Harry.

You shut your mouth
How can you say
I go about things the wrong way?
I am human and I need to be loved
Just like everybody else does

He knows. How could he not? I’m surprised more people haven’t figured it out. We still trade insults in public. Sometimes I pretend I even mean them. I insulted Granger the other day and he grabbed me in a headlock. We had a physical fight... and yes, we both got in trouble. Detention... again. We were left alone, cleaning cauldrons. No magic to be used, of course.
He said that I had no idea about people’s feelings, that the way I went about things didn’t impress him. I told him to go and fuck himself.
“No, I don’t need to...” he said.
And he’d been right. There were plenty who would fuck him. Me included. I told him that and he said he knew. I shrugged- so I was one of many. There was one difference, I always get what I want.
He left the cauldron he was scrubbing and came over to me. When I looked at him, he kissed me. Tentative at first, gaining confidence as he gauged my reaction. Not his first kiss, but his first kiss with another male. My mouth opened, my tongue gaining access to his mouth first. That surprised him. My eyes closed, my hands stole around his neck, stopping him from pulling away. He had no intention of breaking the kiss, instead holding me close to him. I could feel every inch of him pressed against me- his cock hard against my groin. Could he feel me? I groaned, allowing the kiss to end, he gave a low chuckle in my ear and bit my neck. I melted. God, I needed him... needed to be loved by him.
He pushed me away. “No... not now. Not yet.” Another kiss, sensual and full of promise. Damn, he learned quick.
I realised I’d been holding my breath. Breathe boy, don’t let on how much you need him. There were plenty more to be had. Pretty girls and pretty boys. I had no shortage of people willing to fuck me either. It was closeness I craved. Love...

There’s a club if you’d like to go
You could meet somebody
Who ly lly loves you
So you go and you stand on your own
And you leave on your own
And you go home and you cry
And you want to die

I spent the next week thinking about him, and trying to avoid him. He caught my eye a couple of times in lessons. He’d wink and smile. I wasn’t concentrating. Once I had to ask Professor Snape what he’d just said. You can bet all the Gryffindors loved the resulting sarcasm that came with the answer, especially as it wasn’t usually directed at me. Luckily Crabbe and Goyle were to stupid to notice anything amiss.
I had to get out. I needed a distraction- someone else. Christmas holidays... the perfect opportunity. I spent two days at home, for mother. She liked to have family at home for Christmas day. The rest of the time I spent at a rented apartment in Diagon Alley. From there I could go to Knockturn Alley or London. I might even make another visit to Styx, a rather interesting place in Infern Alley. There, you can buy and be bought. Beautiful people, rich people, bored people- they’re all the same- go there to have their more exotic tastes met. The last time I was there I met and spent three days in the company of a gorgeous girl named Fortune. Those days passed in the most amazing drug induced sexual haze I have ever experienced.
This time, though, I wasn’t looking for that. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for, but I’d know when I found it.
Inside, the club was dark. Dark and sensual. The music loud and throbbing, the air heavy with perfumed smoke... incense. I watched. And I was watched. I was looking for something... someone... to make me forget Harry. To make me not want him anymore. I didn’t care if he still wanted me, in fact I rather liked the idea that he might. I sat at a table, drinking firewhisky. Sure, I could have afforded something better, but it suited my mood. I watched girls, girls with girls, girls with boys and girls. I watched boys. There were many that, a few months ago, I would have taken home and even a few that I had. I was propositioned. But there was nothing... no- one that came close to Harry. I spent the hours there by myself, slowly getting morbidly drunk. I went back to my depressing rented apartment by myself. It hadn’t worked. Far from being distracted from the idea of having Harry, I now wanted him more than ever. I was convinced he was the best the wizarding world had to offer. And I deserved the best... didn’t I?
It was several minutes before I realised I was crying. Fuck, I must be drunk. I brushed the tears away and lit a cigarette. I remembered someone saying cigarettes would kill you. Not a bad idea, but I’m sure it would take a long time and a lot of cigarettes. I continued smoking, wondering what would be a better way to die. I didn’t want to continue living if I was going to be alone, a life without Harry.

When you say it’s gonna happen now
What exactly do you mean?
See, I’ve already waited too long
And all my hope is gone.

Valentines Day. How apt. A screwed up piece of parchment flung on my homework as he walked past me in the library. Instructions on how to find a secret room on the fifth floor. Meet him there at 8:30. I should have been insulted that he didn’t even wait for an answer. He was so sure I’d turn up. I looked up to see him leaning against the wall near the door. His eyes devoured me. He blew a kiss, then left. I looked back to my books, trying to ignore the hard- on that had developed. Damn him. Of course I’d go. I was looking forward to teaching him some respect.
He was already there. I was late. Couldn’t seem to eager could I? He grabbed me and pushed me against the wall, his lips on mine, his hips grinding iminemine. “You want it Malfoy? You want me?”
Oh God yeah. More than anything. For so long. His image had haunted my dreams.
He led me to the bed, where we undressed each other. Not slowly, no romance or tenderness. Hands, mouths, teeth... touching, kissing, biting... scratching, sucking, tearing. There was blood. Whose? I had no idea. I didn’t care. Then he was thrusting into me, groaning and murmuring obscenities, screaming my name when he came. I could almost believe that he loved me. When I was fucking him and he told me more, deeper, harder... bringing me to climax, I could almost believe that I loved him. In the aftermath, I told him that. That I loved him. He laughed and said it’d never happen. What would never happen? Me loving him... or him loving me. Us together? I’ll never love that vacant blonde girl, and she’ll never love me. But I need love... I need to love. Is it my fault that I want what I can’t have?
Our meetings are few and far between. When he summons me, I go. I should be angry that he’s got me acting like a love sick school girl. The sex is incredible, amazing. Worth the pain that we put each other through. I should hate him for making me wait for him to make a decision about our relationship. School will be over soon. We’ll graduate and go our separate ways, probably never to meet again, except on the battlefield. I will become a Death Eater. He will still be the saviour of the Light. The Boy Who Lived. And would continue living, for I would not kill him, nor allow anyone else to.
I was sitting in what I had become to think of as our room, when he found me. I didn’t ask how he knew I was there. Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he wanted to be by himself as well.
“Do you have to be a Death Eater?”
I shrugged. He was the only reason I wouldn’t become one, and he seemed incapable of commitment. “Why?”
“I don’t want... I couldn’t kill you.”
Our eyes met. It was the closest he’d come to saying how he felt about me. “Good. I’m sure someone else will.”
He shook his head. “Not if I have my way.”
“And you usually do.” How else would I have put up with him for so long. “You can’t save me Potter. Whether I become a Death Eater or not, I’m as good as dead.” But that was okay. I didn’t want to live without him and whichever side won, I’d have to.
“No.” He kissed me, his lips moving against mine slowly, sensuously.
I clung to him as he teased my mouth, my ear, my neck. My robe and shirt were pushed from my shoulders with a gentleness that was usually missing when we met. Feather light kisses and touches ran down my torso. When I reached for him, he pushed my hands away.
“No, let me... you...” mumbled as he unbuttoned my trousers and pushed them down around my hips, freeing my cock. But not for long. His mouth closed around it, hot and wet.
Oh God, he’d never done this before. Not to me anyway. I was suddenly jealous. Then he moved his head and I felt his teeth and tongue as he licked and sucked- and it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing did. Not even the fact that we were supposed to be in a Defence Against the Dark Arts class. Ironic really. The hero of the Light Side giving a future Death Eater, the epitome of the Dark Side, a head job. If that wasn’t defence, I don’t know what was.
I tangled my hands in his dark hair, tugging gently, holding tight. I was trying to hold off, to prolong the pleasure, the contact. I loved just having him with me.
His mouth left me. “Let it go, Draco.”
I groaned as he enveloped me again, taking me in deep. He sucked hard and I came, emptying myself down his throat. I was drained, exhausted and I lay back on the bed. He kissed me and I tasted myself. “Why did you do that?” I had to ask, needed to know why he’d finally done something he’d refused to do before.
“It’ll be okay. Everything will be okay now. Trust me.” Another kiss and he left me.
What the hell did that mean? ‘Everything will be okay now.’ Now! I’ve been waiting for him for months. Too long. Now! How soon is now? It had better be immediately. I straightened my trousers and thought about going to lunch. Suddenly, I couldn’t face all those people. I couldn’t bear to see Weasley and Granger fawning all over him. I didn’t need anyone asking me where I’d been for the last lesson. I just stayed where I was...
Soft lips brushing mine. I struggled against the hands on my shoulders, holding me still. A soft laugh. “Mmmm, Sleeping Beauty...”
I had no idea what he was talking about. He promised he’d explain later. That sounded promising- at least there’d be a later for us both.
“I knew you’d be here. They’re all looking for you. Do you know what time it is?”
I shook my head. “How could I?”
“It’s 7:30.” He threw my shirt and robe at me. “Get dressed. We’re leaving.”
I felt like I was in a time warp or something. Had I slept for so long and missed something vital? Maybe I was still dreaming. “Leaving?” I repeated, stupidly.
He nodded. “You don’t want to be a Death Eater. I am totally fed up with having the entire wizarding world relying on me to defeat Voldemort. Both of us stand a good chance of dying in the fight that’s sure to co He He sighed. “And even if we don’t, there’s very little chance that we’ll ever be together again after we graduate.” A shrug. “I don’t want that, and neither do you. And you always get what you want. And lately...“ Another kiss. “So do I.”
I closed my eyes, trying to digest this information. I hardly dared to hope that he was saying we should run away together. Leave all of our responsibilities behind. What responsibilities? I only had what my father expected of me. Harry was right, I didn’t want it. But what about him? He had the chance to be a hero for the second time.
“Or die trying.” he told me when I mentioned that to him. “I didn’t ask for it the first time, and it’s pissing me off. They’ll be okay without me... and you. But we won’t. I think we need each other. We’re not so different.”
We left Hogwarts shortly after with just the clothes on our backs, the invisibility cloak, our wands and the key to Harry’s vault at Gringotts Bank. I actually had no money, well not enough to consider starting a new life with. Like I said, I’m the heir... or I was. My father has the money. Harry said that didn’t matter, he had plenty.
We crept across the grounds, under the invisibility cloak, and along the tunnel under the Whomping Willow that led to the Shrieking Shack. By the time we got there, I was pretty hungry, having missed lunch and dinner. Harry must have been planning this for a little while. There was food- nothing elaborate, just some potato chips, dry biscuits and a couple of apples- and water. We stayed the night there. Our first night together, and the first time we’d spent any time together and had no sex. Some things were more important- well, right now anyway. I hoped there’d be plenty of time later. And hope was something I’d had preciuos little of over the past year. I was almost daring to hope again.
The next morning, early, we apparated to Diagon Alley. Dumbledore had taught Harry to apparate two years previously, just in case he was ever in a situation he needed to get out of in a hurry. Me? Ha, every good Death Eater and user of dark magic knows how to apparate, I’ve known how since before I went to Hogwarts. Harry took money from his vault at Gringotts and we bought some muggle clothes, burned our Hogwarts uniforms and strolled nonchalantly through the door of The Leaky Cauldron to end up in a quiet London street. To become muggles? I don’t think so. It’s just a fitting place to leave this story, while we decide what to do next. After all, we’re young, rich and incredibly good looking. London won’t know what’s hit it!!

The End???

If you found you liked this, please review....