Interruptus (Troll in the Dungeon)
Interruptus
Author's Notes: There really is no excuse for this but it came into my head during class and refused to depart. As I couldn't explain to my students why I was laughing, by myself, in the stationary store, they now correctly believe that I am nuts. My condolences to Neelix, who read it.
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Severus Snape flung open the door so violently that it slammed back against the wall. He looked livid, his hair sticking out in all directions. Minerva noticed with surprise that his shirt was untucked, and he wasn't wearing any shoes.
"Good gracious Severus, have you been fighting?"
He snarled, leaning forward with his hands on the doorframe. She stepped back in alarm. He looked positively deranged.
Accident with a dodgy potion?
"There is a witch, Minerva," he hissed, "against all reason and probability, there is a witch. In there."
The Potions master jerked his head towards a door behind him.
An intruder in the castle?
Before she could say anything however, he continued.
"Oh yes, there is a witch. Would you like to know what she is doing, Headmistress, in there?"
His tone was almost conversational now, but neither it nor his rage could quite disguise something akin to unholy glee. Suddenly, she felt that answering him might not be the correct choice.
"She is tied up, Minerva. In my bedroom."
Perhaps he's drunk? Or been at Pomona's private herbs?
"And she's not wearing any clothes."
He'd leaned out to faux-whisper the last part in her ear. She went scarlet from ears to tartan slippers.
"So, Headmistress," he stepped back, face now a mask of indifferent enquiry, "What was so urgent that couldn't wait till morning?"
Completely out of her depth, she opened her mouth to snap at him.
Eyebrow aloft, he mouthed the word "naked!" at her. She sputtered.
With a last ghastly grin, he jumped backwards and slammed the door.
The poor man has finally cracked. I wonder, should I send for Poppy?
She hurried off, oblivious to the hilarity which erupted behind the dungeon door.