Harry Potter = Star Wars
Harry Potter = Star Wars
Harry Potter = Star Wars
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This is a parody. It’s supposed to be funny, so reviewers please don’t take it seriously.
Please rate and review! :)
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Magic = The Force
Harry = Luke Skywalker
Voldemort = the Emperor
Snape = Darth Vader
Dumbledore = Obi-Wan Kenobi
Ron = Han Solo
Hermione = Princess Leia
Yoda = Remus Lupin
Wands = Light Sabers
Order of the Phoenix = Jedi Knights
Death Eaters = The Empire, Storm troopers etc.
Ron’s Blue Ford Anglea = The Maltese Falcon
Hagrid = Chewbacca
Uncle Vernon = Uncle Owen
Hogwarts = Planet Dagobah
Dean Thomas = Lando Calrissian
4 Privet Drive = Planet Tatooine
Neville Longbottom = C-3PO
Seamus Finnegan = R2D2
Malfoy Manor = Cloud City
Lucius Malfoy = Jabba the Hut
Draco Malfoy = Boba Fett
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Once upon a time in a land so so gay…
After the death of Dumbledore, which was a bit of stupid of him actually, he just stood there and let Snape kill him just because he knew Harry was alive. What an idiot!
Anyways, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Seamus, Neville and Hagrid were in Ron’s Blue Ford Anglea.
“We must go to Malfoy Manor,” said Harry.
“Why?” asked Ron.
“Shelter.”
“Shelter? In Malfoy’s house.”
“Yeah, exactly. Least expected. And, besides, Dean said he’ll get us in.”
They arrived. And Dean greeted them. “Come. Come.”
“Thanks Dean,” said Ron.
Suddenly, about fifty Death Eaters came out of nowhere and held them all captive, except for Dean.
“Gottcha!” Dean shouted.
“You bastard!” yelled Harry.
“Take them to Lucius Malfoy.”
They were dragged to a room where they saw Lucius sitting in a chair, beside him stands Draco.
“Goo Goo Haa Haa Bee Bee Boo,” said Lucius.
“What the fuck is wrong with him?” said Harry.
“Spell gone wrong. Anyways, he said they’re gonna freeze him (pointed at Ron), take you (Harry) to Snape, kill them (Neville and Seamus) and use her (Hermione) as a prostitute. And you” he pointed at Hagrid. “Take a shower for Merlin’s sake.”
Two Death Eaters grabbed Ron and placed him in a lift or something like that. The lift began moving down slowly.
“Ron,” Hermione had tears in her eyes. “I...”
“What?” said Ron happily, knowing what Hermione wants to say.
“I slept with Harry.”
“WHAT?! YOU BITCH!” the lift disappeared and Ron started to scream.
Ten minutes later, they pulled Ron out up again and he was frozen like a stone, and, for some reason, he was also naked.
“Is that a penis or a peanut?” said Draco and everyone laughed.
“Shut up. It was cold down there,” said Hermione. “Just so you know, Ron’s gotta bigger dick than you.”
“Oh really?” Draco pulled down his pants and his penis was about fifteen inches.
“Eww.” Hermione lied. “So, about that prostitute thing. Don’t tell me YOU're going to have sex with me.”
“Yes, I am,” said Draco.
Hermione looked disgusted. She turned around from him and there was a big smile on her face.
Meanwhile, Harry was sent to Snape.
“So, Potter, ready for duel.”
“Always.”
They both took their wands out and started throwing spells at each other.
“Stupefy!”
“Expelliarmus!”
“Crucio!”
At one point, Snape disarmed Harry and pointed his wand at Harry’s right hand. He shouted “Sectumsempra!” It sounded a bit gay but its result wasn’t.
Harry’s hand was slashed in an instant and he screamed, “Mummy! Help!”
“Stop crying like a baby, Potter,” said Snape. “Join me and this will all go away,”
“Neva! You killed my parents. My mother. My father!”
“Eh I didn’t kill your parents. Voldemort did.”
“Doesn’t matter. You killed Dumbledore and he was like a father to me.”
“No, Harry. I am your father.”
“Seriously? You think I’m gonna fall for that?”
“I really am your father, Harry. I fucked Lily before she married James.”
“NOOOOOOO!”
“Now…”
“What about my mother? Why did you kill her?”
“She was a whore.”
“Oh, OK then.”
“Now, join me and we will unite together as father and son.”
“Sure”
“Excellent.”
“Wait, can my friends Ron and Hermione join as well? I’m really their only friend and I don’t wanna leave them alone.”
“Fine!” said Voldemort, irritated. “I’m gonna give you another hand, ok Harry?”
He performed a spell and Harry grew a silver hand in the place of his lost one.
“This hand will kill you, if you ever betray me or even think of it.”
“OK,”
“Now let’s go fight some Order!”