Naughty Thoughts

Dirty Thoughts


Hermione Granger woke on the last few weeks of her holiday feeling rather strange.


“Oh dear, I think that potion accident last night might have upset my magic, I feel decidedly odd. The problem is, how do I get help with my magic, when I do not want to admit I have done underage magic in my home during the holidays?* Hermione frowned and going for a shower she tried to work out what was wrong with her magic.

Walking past her parent’s bedroom Hermione immediately knew they were having sex. *Oh Yuk…that is disgusting. Hold on how do I know? There is no sounds,” she locked the bedroom door and taking off her nightgown she entered the shower cubical. Hermione started to wash her hair while still trying to work out how she knew her parents were having sex.

*Not having, had.* although how I know that is another puzzle. Finally returning to her bedroom Hermione dried herself and dressed going downstairs to smell smoked salmon and eggs cooking.

“Wow mum special occasion?” Hermione said entering the sunny yellow kitchen, with a grained wooden floor and cabinets. Sitting herself at the granite breakfast bar, Hermione smiled her thanks as her mother placed an orange juice in front of her.

“It’s a sort of a anniversary.” Jane Granger told her daughter, “Your father and I were sorting the attic out the other day, and seeing some old photo’s we remembered an anniversary moment in our relationship. And before you ask…don’t!”

Hermione grimaced, *obviously something to do with first time sex. Don’t worry mum I will not be satisfying my curiosity.* Hermione thought, turning to her mother she asked,

“Where is daddy?”

“He’s going to have his favourite breakfast in bed. Here’s yours plus I’ve made your precious early morning pot of tea.” Hermione’s mother said adding a large coffee pot to the crowded breakfast tray. “Hermione would you like to do your magic and make the tray lighter?”

“I’ll do better than that mum, here.” Hermione said waving her hand at the tray, which immediately started to float towards the stairs.

“Thank you dear. I do love having a witch for a daughter.”

“You’re welcome mum.” Hermione said before going on to read the morning muggle paper.

*Very boring,* Hermione thought, *hopefully the Daily Prophet will be delivered soon.*

Eating her eggs and smoked salmon, while slowly drinking a pot of tea dry. Hermione grinned when two owls pecked at her window. Paying the paper delivery owl. Hermione grinned at Hedwig. Thanking both she gave each some of her smoked salmon. Hooting their thanks the owls flew away.

Placing the muggle paper to one side Hermione opened the prophet and started to read while taking a mouthful of her eggs. Seconds later she choked and coughed, quickly she spit out the rest of her eggs. Shuddering she re-read the headlines.

Magic detected by muggles in St. John’s Wood, London. A magic explosion as breeched all our dampeners. Who is responsible for this disaster? We of the magic world want answers. ARE YOU LISTENING MINISTER OF MAGIC?”

*Oh heck I think that may have been me. I still don’t know what made my potion blow up.* Hermione thought. Just at that minute a knock came at the backdoor.

Quickly putting a block on the entire house magic, except the wards the ministry themselves had put up; she slowly walked to the door. Taking a deep breath Hermione opened the door to see Tonks and another auror looking puzzled.

“Hermione? I thought you and your parents lived on the other side of the city?” Tonks asked. Hermione opened the door and invited the two aurors in.

“My great uncle died ten months ago and left us this house and a bungle of money. The ministry have my new address, as does Hogwarts. I haven’t let it be known generally, Dumbledore thought keeping my new address secret to be the safest for us.” Hermione said, thinking quickly she added, “Mind I am a bit worried, last night I saw some sparks like a firework rocket. I have just read in the Prophet that magic was detected in this area. I swear it wasn’t me, well I can’t, and after all I am underage.”

Tonks looked at Hermione and smirked, *Yes, but you are also the cleverest witch to be born in the last centenary.* Tonks thought, *but I cannot feel any magic spell residue.*

“Hermione, do you swear to me you have not performed any magic in the last 24 hours?” Tonks asked.

“No Tonks I swear.” Hermione said with her legs crossed under the breakfast bar.

“Alright, then we have to consider that he who must be named, as discovered the neighbourhood where you live. Perhaps Hermione it might be best if you return to Hogwarts.” Tonks said pausing to think things through, “also it may be prudent to place your parents into a safe house abroad.”

“I agree with your thinking Nymphadora, in fact perhaps we ought to apparate her parents to safety first. We will give Miss Granger time to pack her magical items, plus we need to place an emergency magical permission, so she can defend herself should something happen in the time it takes to take her parents to a safe place.” Bognot Bevington said looking for agreement from Tonks while sipping a cup of tea which had appeared before him.


Hermione cringed, *He must have wanted a cup of tea, and the kitchen wards of mine provided a cup for him. I put a halt on the magic, it obviously didn’t work properly. Oh what the hell is going on?* quickly glancing towards Tonks, Hermione realized that the order member had not picked up on the instantaneous magic. *Of course she’s upset about him calling her by Nymphadora. Thank you,* Hermione thought looking up at the Gods.

“Tonks are you sure Mr…sorry I don’t know your name, and yourself are not panicking? I have not felt anything strange, well except for seeing those fireworks.” Hermione said because she really didn’t want to leave some of the potions she had been working on in the holidays.

“Hermione you are very close to Harry, we cannot leave you unprotected, especially with the incident which occurred in your neighbourhood last night. However, perhaps we could draw out the spy who gave your address away.” Tonks said pausing for several minutes.

Hermione and Bognot both stared unblinkingly at Tonks waiting for to continue. Finally Bognot lost his patience, “Nymphadora!” he shouted.

Tonks jumped out of her thinking, “Sorry I was just wondering who would have known you had moved, when even our department did not know you had changed address. Therefore, perhaps we ought to leave you here Hermione, perhaps with Bognot and me staying here secretly, to hopefully catch the spy, when the Death Eater’s return.”

*Oh bloody hell! That’s even worst than returning to Hogwarts early. After all I can always brew in Moaning Myrtles toilet or the Room of Requirement. Now what to do.* Hermione thought.

“I can understand your thinking Nymphadora, but, I do not think we can risk Miss Granger, by putting her in such a perilous situation. I like your idea, just do not want to risk Harry Potter’s best friend in an auror scheme. I personally want promotion; if she was killed I doubt we would ever get higher than supervisor. No, the best thing is to take some of that hair, and we polyjuice an auror into her.” Bognot stated without any concern that Hermione was listening.

“Who the bloody well are you? Firstly mister nobody, I could put you in St. Mungo’s before you could draw your wand. Tonks I do not like your partner. If you have to put up with him all the time, it’s a wonder you haven’t Avada’d him weeks ago.” Hermione said seething.

“I beg your pardon. At least I was concerned for your safety. Nymphadora wanted to use you has bait.” Bognot shouted, angrily at Hermione.

“Yes, but I respect Hermione, I know she can hold her own. She would be a tremendous help to us catching whoever the spy is.” Tonks said.

Bognot fumed and touched Hermione’s hand, “I didn’t mean you would not be able to help us my dear. I just think you are too valuable to the wizarding world, keeping Mr. Potter calm.”

Hermione had squirmed as soon as Bognot had placed his hand on hers, because she knew! *Fucking hell! He sucked Cornelius Fudge off the night before! She saw every details of him giving the minister a blow job. *the problem is, how do I tell Tonks, when I do not understand how I know myself. Hermione you have to research how you are doing this magic, very quickly, because this magic could be really important to the order.*

“Tonk’s I agree that my parents need to leave England, the Death Eaters are everywhere lately. So I will talk with them, while you are setting it up. I think the idea of drawing out the spy, is very unlikely to work, after all the magic was in the neighbourhood. Tonks St. Johns Wood is over 12 square miles. My home might not be the one targeted. This is worrying because how do we know a Death Eater does not live close by?”

Tonks thought about what Hermione had said, “Yes you are right, however I would still like to put a guard on the house, just in case.” Tonks said getting agreement nods from Bognot and Hermione.

“Tonks we really ought to get together and exchange ideas about these random raids we are having. The order of things doesn’t work out to me. Perhaps you could make time to come up to Hogwarts sometime to talk?”

“Yes sure Hermione, I also agree we need to talk.” Tonks agreed.