Valentine\'s Day Blues

Hello! I've been hanging onto this one-shot forever, though honestly I don't know why. Please enjoy!


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Hermione had never had what anyone would call the best of luck when it came to Valentine’s Day. The first one that she was able to celebrate with her then boyfriend, she discovered that his idea of romance left her feeling less than motivated and more than willing to break up. Ron wasn’t thrilled, but was able to move on easily enough. The next one, she was by herself and she was fine with this, but Harry told her that she shouldn’t be alone. He even offered to spend the day with her. Which was fine until she caught him in her bed with Ginny. He even went as far as to tell her that he needed some alone time with his girl. When she asked him why he chose her place, he stuck his foot further into his mouth by saying he didn’t want to mess with Sirius’s privacy. Hermione planned on kicking them out, but it was Ginny who snapped at him that he was cheap and a terrible friend if this was the way he treated them both. Needless to say, they broke up only to get back together five hours later. She didn’t speak to him after a month, not that he noticed.


Here it was any other year and she was in her flat alone on Valentine’s Day. Hermione’s only plan was to lock her front door, shut down her floo, and spend her day with her one true love—chocolate. But before she could put the plan into effect, Severus Snape came charging through her floo as angry as a hornet.


“You, Miss Granger, will explain yourself right this second!” he exclaimed into her face.


“Uh, what are you about, sir?” she asked him, stepping back from him. “And let me remind you the time is very early in the day. I have chores to see to, so make it brief.”


“This!” he exclaimed, waving a pair of what looked like to be women’s red lacy underwear.


“Those aren’t mine,” she told him.


“And I should take your word for it?” he demanded.


Hermione let out a withered sigh. “I’m cursed. I can’t even spend a quiet Valentine’s Day alone with chocolate!” When he took a breath to say something sarcastic, she turned a laser stare onto him muttering, “Do not say a word. You charge into my home uninvited and you accuse me of leaving behind a pair of panties I’ve never seen before. On Valentine’s Day of all days you do this? Why did you think they were mine? It’s not like I’ve been sneaking into Hogwarts for the express purpose of fucking another man in your rooms.” She turned away, muttering as an after thought, “That would require me having a sex life to begin with.”


Needless to say Severus left, but not before issuing the threat that he was going to find out the truth and when he did, she was going to rue the day. Rolling her eyes, she shut down her floo and was about to ward her door when Charlie charged into her flat.


“Why would you send me a pair of panties?” he asked her straight out.


“I didn’t,” she told him.


“You didn’t?” he asked, studying her.


“Why would I?” Hermione asked him.


“I was asking myself the very same thing,” he muttered. “You’re one of the few people that knows I’m gay. It just seems weird.”


“Tell me about it,” she told him. “A minute or two ago Snape came charging through my floo accusing me of leaving panties in his rooms.”


“Really?” He rocked back on his heels. “What kind of panties?”


“He was waving around red lacy ones from what I could see,” she told him, but then frowned. “Why?”


He pulled the panties out and gave them over to her. They were red lace panties. She looked at the tag and her eyes bugged out. “These are La Perla! They cost a small fortune!”


“So whom do you think would buy them and send them off to different men in your life?” he asked her.


“No, not just men,” she pointed out to him. “Single men.”


Remus was through the door in the next moment. “Hermione, as much as I admire you…”


“They aren’t from me,” she cut him off. “Charlie and I were just trying to figure out whom would I know that would send Le Perla to the single men in my life.”


Remus thought it over. “A well off person, I would think. I tried to buy some of this Le Perla for Tonks. It cost a pretty penny.”


“So I’ve been made aware by Hermione,” Charlie said casually. “It would have to be someone who thought much of her.”


“No doubt,” Remus muttered sarcastically. “To be sending out postage proclaiming that she was in lust with them along with supposed her panties screams respect for her.”


Charlie blushed, but said nothing.


Hermione grabbed her chocolate. “It’s obvious that I’m not going to have any peace here. I’ll just have to find someplace else to roost.”


And so Hermione ended up at the last place she would imagine spending her Valentine’s Day—at Lucius Malfoy’s Mansion.


As she walked into the mansion, she past by Lucius telling him, “They aren’t mine.”


Eyebrows arched and very curious he followed the petite curly haired former Gryffindor into his own house and watched as she planted herself in his personal study in front of the fireplace.


“What isn’t yours?” he asked her, pouring himself a brandy and watched as she magically set herself up in comfort with a footstool, small table and a reading lamp as well as a very worn copy of Hogwarts, a History.


She looked at him, feeling embarrassment as she told him the story. She finished off with, “And the sad thing of it all is that they couldn’t figure out it wasn’t mine just based on the fact that it could never fit me.”


He was silent a moment. “Are you saying you’re fat?”


“No, I’m a normal size,” Hermione told him with confidence. “True, I may be slightly full of hip and my breast aren’t what anyone would call small…”


“What size are they?” he interrupted.


Frowning she muttered, “Big enough. Why?”


“No reason,” he murmured, still looking her over. “Would you like a drink?”


Sighing she resigned herself to it, saying, “Why not? It beats reading and eating chocolate.”


Two hours later both were a little worse for the wear, as Hermione sat on Lucius’s lap and told him about her bad luck with the romance holiday.


“So there I was expecting romance and you know what he gave me? Tickets to go see the Cannons play! Even if I was inclined to like quidditch, which I’m not, the last thing I wanted to do on Valentine’s Day was go see them! What happened to romance, Lucius? No one gives a rat’s ass about caring about what your lover needs.”


“I do,” he breathed. “Narcissa, frigid woman she was, never cared though as she already gave me Draco.”


“What did you expect?” she asked him. “The Blacks aren’t known for their mental stability.”


He nodded. “True, but even so one does still expect to be fucking ones wife, correct?”


She agreed with him. “Yes, very much so.” Hermione settled more against him, pressing her face into the crook of his neck. “You smell good.”


“Thank you.” His hand came up, massaging her back. “Miss Granger?”


“Mmm?”


“I was the one to send out the panties to the men,” he told her.


“Really? Why?” she asked him.


Smiling he said, “I knew it would drive you into wanting privacy. You’ve come here before for that reason…”


“As a last option.”


“Exactly,” he murmured. “That being said, I thought you would come here again when all the men began showing up to ask you about the panties.”


“Snape yelled at me,” she muttered. “He thought I was making a joke on him.”


“I’ll tell him the truth,” he assured her as she nuzzled his neck. “Hermione?”


“Yes, Lucius?” she purred.


“Just what is your bra size?”


Smiling she took his hand and cupped it around one of her breasts. “Around this size.”

The End!


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