Dark Songs

‘You’ll never find another way to be’
Lacuna Coil “This is my dream”

“Are you sure this a good idea?” whispered Harry.

Ron grinned at him. “Trust me, Harry, everyone else has gone. And if I have to spend one more day listening to Fred and George talk about how much fun this place is, I’ll go barking mad. Now, come on.”

“I still don’t see why Hermione couldn’t come.” Harry shoved aside the last few boxes as the two young men climbed out of the secret tunnel into the basement of the sweets shop.

“We’ll take Hermione next time,” Ron promised. “Hurry up.” He pulled Harry out and led him to the cellar door that led to the town of Hogsmeade.

Despite the late hour, the streets of Hogsmeade were bustling, one street in particular, Druid’s Alley, leading to a new building that looked dark and dingy from the outside. It was filled with young wizards and witches from Hogwart’s and beyond, lining up outside a new feature of the Hogsmeade community. Taking a page from the Muggle world, an enterprising wizard couple had opened a nightclub. They had called it Club Lunar, and it was popular beyond their wildest dreams.

Harry and Ron stared at the line. The line was not for the entrance, as there was ample room inside for all the people there. The line was full of young men and women, doing just what inebriated young men and women who have worked up a large amount of adrenaline from dancing do.

“Is that Fred?” Harry asked Ron in disbelief. The tall, unmistakably red-headed Weasley twin was locked in a passionate embrace with someone, but they couldn’t see who it was from here.

“No,” said Ron. “It’s George. Fred is over there with Angelina.”

Harry looked farther up the line, and saw Angelina having her fingers licked by the other Weasley twin. “Oh my.”

“C’mon, let’s go inside,” said Ron eagerly. He started towards the door, and Harry followed.

It had only been a few years ago that Harry hadn’t been able to find a date for the Yule Ball, and had been positive that he didn’t really like girls. Now, he was in his sixth year at Hogwarts, and girls and sex were pretty much all he could think about. He could hear music coming out of the club as the door opened to admit the people in front of them, and Harry was shocked that he recognized it. “Ron, that’s Muggle music!”

Ron looked at Harry in surprise. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah!” They walked into Club Lunar. It looked just like a Muggle nightclub at first, until you took in the fact that the room was much too large for the shack they had just entered.... And the strange way the people were dressed.... And, of course, the fact that some of them were levitating and dancing at the same time.... And the bubbling drinks... and the fact that the DJ was a goblin. But other than that....

“Wow,” said Harry and Ron at the same time. Their eyes fell on a group of girls at the edge of the dance floor. Harry and Ron looked at each other and grinned. Ron nervously straightened his robes, and Harry adjusted his hair to make sure his scar didn’t show.

“Can you see it?” asked Harry quietly. Ron shook his head, and the two started towards the girls.

A sudden laugh caught Harry’s attention. He turned to see a tall, dark haired man bend down to drop a quick kiss on the cheek of a pale young man that Harry knew well. He stopped dead in his shock, and watched Draco Malfoy, still laughing, pull the man’s lips to his for a real kiss. Draco’s pale hands were entwined in the other’s hair, and he pressed himself up to the other man, only to slide sensuously away as they broke the kiss. The other leaned forward and whispered something into Draco’s ear, and by now the crowd had forced Harry close enough to hear Draco’s reply. “I said no, Quinn, I have to go back to Hogwart’s tonight. Take a cold shower.” Draco looked away from the man who was holding him, and suddenly met Harry’s eyes.

Draco stiffened, and moved closer to the man he had called Quinn.

“Changed your mind?” Harry heard him whisper. Quinn was still watching Draco’s fine, pale face, and hadn’t noticed anyone else.

Draco turned Quinn towards the other wall, away from Harry, who still hadn’t moved or said a word. “Let’s go get something to drink.” Draco led his companion away, and Harry still hadn’t moved.

Harry watched them go, and fought against identifying the dark emotion that was filling him at the sight of Draco’s hand in the stranger’s, but he knew it was a losing battle.

He turned around slowly, and tried to force himself to act normally. But his heart and his mind were still watching Draco’s hands pull someone down for a kiss, and in his mind, it was Harry’s dark head bending over Draco.

--
'I flinch when you are nice You kill me with a single word’
Jack Off Jill “Angels Fuck, Devils Kiss”

Harry was sitting quietly by the wall, watching Ron trying to show off a charm to a group of girls. They were from Beauxbatons, and Ron was deliberately flubbing the spell to make them laugh. Harry was doing his best not to look for Draco Malfoy.

“Hey, you made it!” exclaimed Fred as he, George, and Angelina Johnson came up, and Ron joined them to gather near Harry. “Having fun?”

Ron nodded eagerly. “This is great!”

George nudged his twin and pointed to the center of the room. “Check it out, Fred. Quinn finally found someone who can keep up with him on the dance floor.”

“Oh? Who is it? I can’t tell from here.” Fred craned his neck, and Angelina took the opportunity to nibble on Fred, distracting him from his quest.

“You know that guy?” Harry couldn’t help asking.

“Quinn? Yeah, he was at school with Charlie. He’s a Druid, nice guy.” George waved, apparently trying to catch Quinn’s attention. “Comes from one of the Afro-Celt tribes, so he’s a pretty ferocious dancer. Strong spellcasters, the lot of them. Oi! Quinn!”

Harry cringed, and looked away as Quinn, who had finally noticed George, started towards them, leading Draco Malfoy behind him.

“Is that --” George started to say, and Fred finished for him by choking on his drink, requiring vigorous thumping from Angelina and George before he recovered.

“Fred, George, hello.” The Druid Quinn had an American accent. He was tall, with the light skin of someone of mixed blood, and had short dark hair and blue eyes. He looked very brave and noble, thought Harry, but none of that made him hate Quinn less, because Quinn was still casually holding Draco Malfoy’s hand as if it were the most natural thing in the world, and Harry would have given anything to be where Quinn was right now.

Draco was half-hiding behind Quinn, probably waiting to see how the group from Hogwart’s would react. Harry caught his eyes, silver reflecting the myriad lights from the walls, as Draco placed a gentle hand on Quinn’s arm, for Draco was too slight to comfortably reach Quinn’s shoulder. Draco gave Harry a slight mocking smile, and proudly tossed back his head, sending his pale hair like a white-gold curtain over his shoulder.

Had Draco always looked like that, Harry wondered. Had his eyes always been silver? Had his face always been so ethereally beautiful? Had Harry been blind all these years, or had Draco changed overnight?

Draco and Harry stared at each other in silence, and for a moment no one spoke. Harry couldn’t believe his own feelings. Well, he’d never been indifferent to Draco, had he? Since the first time they had met, Draco had been able to get under Harry’s skin like no one else. The sight of Draco in someone else’s arms galvanized him to a seething jealousy that he could barely control. If it had been someone like Crabbe or Goyle, someone that Draco was obviously just using, it wouldn’t be so bad, Harry told himself.

“This must be your brother, Ron,” said Quinn finally, and held out his hand. Ron shook it uncertainly. “You go to Hogwart’s, don’t you? So does Draco. Do you know each other?”

“We’ve met,” said Ron tightly. There was another moment of silent tension, then Quinn laughed.

“Oh, I get it, it’s one of those House rivalry things, isn’t it? I forgot how serious it can be when you’re still in school.” Quinn shook his head at their foolishness.

“What house were you in?” asked Angelina curiously.

“Ravenclaw,” answered Quinn. “I remember, we won a Quidditch match, and Charlie wouldn’t speak to me for a month. Seems damn silly now,” said Quinn suggestively, but none of the Gryffindors spoke.

“Oh well,” said Draco with mock sweetness. “Does that mean I can still be rude to them?”

“Like you could stop if you tried,” sneered Ron.

“Well, you’ll never know,” said Draco offhandedly.

Quinn smiled indulgently. “Maybe I’ll catch you guys later. I want to dance to this song. Draco?”

Draco tilted his head to listen, “I think I would like that.” Draco waved insolently to the gathered Gryffindors, then danced away, a spark of white and silver in the crowd followed closely by Quinn.

Harry watched them leave.

“Malfoy and someone like Quinn....” said Fred increduously.

“Yeah,” said George. “That’s just wrong somehow. Quinn is so ... nice.”

“Maybe Quinn isn’t the guy you think he is,” suggested Ron.

“Maybe Malfoy isn’t as bad as we think he is,” retorted Harry. Ron, Fred, George, and Angelina all stared at Harry as if he had sprouted an extra head. “Never mind,” said Harry sullenly. He watched Draco dancing, leading Quinn through the dance floor like an oversized will-o’-the-wisp.

Quinn pulled Draco to him, and whispered something in his ear, making Draco smile shyly. Draco looked back at the group from Hogwart’s, and was startled to see Harry watching them. Draco turned away, and stopped dancing. Even from here, Harry could see Quinn was confused by Draco’s sudden change. Draco broke away, and gave Quinn a quick kiss before practically running out of the club.

Draco pulled his cloak over his head, and it seemed to Harry as if a light had suddenly gone out. Then Draco was gone.

--
‘No sleep, no hunger – an occasional evil thought’
Full Blown Kirk “Grave”

Harry waited almost a whole breath before fighting his way through the crowd to follow Draco. He didn’t waste that breath explaining, as he had no idea why he was doing this. He just knew he couldn’t let Draco leave that way.

The night air was shockingly cold after being inside the club, and Harry paused to get his surroundings again. Dimly, he was aware that Ron and the others had belatedly followed him. Harry looked around. The crowd they had passed on the way in was still there, but there was a larger knot at the far end of the alley.

Harry saw a slim form fall to the ground there, and heard unfamiliar laughter. Harry moved towards them and arrived in time to see Draco stagger to his feet.

“Get out of my way,” he heard Draco snarl. Draco was now standing in the midst of a group of unknown men. They were all heavy-set wizards, who looked like they might have just graduated from one of the wizarding schools.

“I don’t think so,” said one of them, in a thickly slurred voice. He reached out for Draco, “not until you give us what we asked for.”

“Hey!” roared Harry, and stormed forward. “Get your hands off him!”

The first speaker stopped in confusion, but on seeing that Harry was alone, another of the group laughed and said, “We’re charging a toll to pass. You can pay, too, if you like.”

“I don’t think so,” said Fred softly. Harry turned to see that everyone else had caught up to him - including Quinn. Fred and George had their arms crossed, and definitely looked like they were itching for a fight. Angelina had her hands curled into fists, and looked just as belligerent as the Weasley twins. Only Quinn and Ron looked uncertain. They were seven to the ten strangers, and any disturbance would meant the Hogwart’s students were at risk of being discovered and caught.

“You think you can fight your way out?” sneered one of the strangers. He stepped right up to Fred, and looked down as best he could at Fred and George, who were just as tall but not nearly as wide.

“No,” said George.

“We know we can,” snapped Fred, and finished his sentence by punching the other man in the stomach, then following up with two quick knees to the midsection, effectively dropping the first one. He shoved him away as George met the wild charge of another man with a well-timed punch.

George’s foe met him head-on, heedless of George’s first punch, and they traded punches while Fred took on another one. Their opponents couldn’t seem to hit either of the Weasley twins; whereas Fred and George had no trouble landing their punches.

Angelina moved forward, bouncing on her toes and keeping her fists up. Someone made the mistake of thinking she would be an easy target. Angelina ducked back so quickly the heavy fist met only air, and her right fist flew forward, connecting with his cheekbone with an ugly crunching noise. She bounced back, moving slightly so that she was at his side, then rained down a series of kidney punches until her opponent groaned and fell.

Most of the men had surrounded Fred and George, and the twins were fighting back to back now. Ron tackled one from behind and earned himself a split lip. Quinn pulled the man away from Ron, shoving Ron in the direction of Harry and Draco.

“Get the hell out of here,” yelled Quinn.

Angelina laid out the man who had hit Ron with a barrage of lightning-fast punches that he never even saw coming. Fred and George were still holding their own in the center of the circle, dealing out more damage than they received.

Draco didn’t need to be told twice, and he started off into the night. Harry grabbed Ron by the arm. “Come on!” Harry ran after Draco. “Draco! Wait up!”

Draco stopped and turned back to face Harry. “Will you please shut up!” he hissed.

Someone was behind Draco, and in horror, Harry saw him raise his fist. “Look out!” Harry shouted, but it was too late. The blow fell, and Draco fell to the ground. Harry charged forward, punching wildly at the man who had hit Draco. At least some of the blows got home, but not enough to stop him from knocking Harry’s glasses from his face.

Ron came forward to help, but their assailant wasn’t up to facing both Ron and Harry. He turned and ran away, leaving his companions to their fate.

Ron picked up Harry’s glasses, and handed them back to him.

“Thanks,” said Harry. Ron watched Harry for a moment. “I’m going to see if Fred and George are okay.” Harry barely noticed as Ron walked away, leaving him alone with Draco.

Harry knelt down, and laid a hand on Draco’s still form. “Draco? Are you all right?”

For a moment, there was nothing, and Harry felt as though his heart had turned to ice. Then, the pale lashes fluttered, and Draco’s silver eyes opened slowly. He looked up and met Harry’s worried gaze. “I want to go home,” whispered Draco.

Harry sighed with relief. “Can you walk?” He helped Draco sit up slowly. Draco was just stunned, and didn’t seem to fully realize where he was. He leaned heavily on Harry, who wouldn’t have traded this burden for the world. He put an arm around Draco, and the two walked slowly away.

--
‘I didn’t want to hurt you baby I didn’t want to hurt you I didn’t want to hurt you but you’re pretty when you cry/ I didn’t really love you baby I didn’t really love you I didn’t really love you but I’m pretty when I lie’
VAST “Pretty when you cry”

Harry and Draco had walked for about 5 minutes when Draco suddenly jumped, as if startled.

“Harry?”

“I’m here,” said Harry softly. He turned to Draco, but it was dark, and now that they were away from the lights of Club Lunar, he could barely make out the boy next to him.

Draco pulled away slightly. “What are you doing?” he asked. Draco sounded horrified. Harry reached out to reassure him, and found Draco’s arm. He was trembling, whether from fear, or rage, or simply the aftereffects of the fight, Harry couldn’t tell.

“You wanted to go home. I thought I’d walk you, to make sure you were okay,” Harry explained.

“No, I mean – this whole thing! What - what were you doing at the club? Why did you follow me?” Draco demanded.

Harry tried to find the right words. “I – I just wanted – to see you,” said Harry lamely.

“See me?” snapped Draco with a toss of his golden hair. “Well, that’s great. Thanks a lot. You guys started a damn brawl, and if my father finds out I was involved, he’s going to kill me!”

“Oh, come on, Draco. What were we supposed to do?” cried Harry.

Draco’s eyes narrowed, and Harry could see them reflecting the silver moonlight. “You could have just let them beat me up,” he snarled angrily. “It was none of your business! What would you care?”

Harry was silent for a moment. “I would care very much, Draco.”

The words hung for a while in the darkness, then Harry saw Draco shake his head in disbelief.

Harry pulled Draco, unresisting, closer to him. Draco fit into the curve of Harry’s arms as if he’d been made for them, and Harry bent his head down, dark and tousled, and Draco’s white-gold hair fell like rain over Harry’s arm. Their lips met soft and wondering, and they kissed each other as if they had been doing this every day for a hundred years.

“Oh, no,” whispered Draco. He sounded close to tears with despair. “No, don’t do this, Harry, don’t, you can’t do this to me....” His voice trailed off as Harry reclaimed his lips.

Another kiss, and moments that filled in a lifetime of loneliness and hunger.

“Draco,” Harry breathed the name like a prayer. Draco pulled away from him, as reluctant to leave Harry’s embrace as Harry was to let him go. “What’s wrong?”

“Damn you, Potter,” said Draco wearily. “Just go back to hating me like you’re supposed to.” Draco moved farther away from Harry, gently pushing Harry aside.

It took a moment for his words to sink in, and by that time, something of Draco’s normal manner reasserted itself. “What’s that’s supposed to mean?” demanded Harry.

Draco wouldn’t meet his eyes. “How did you guys get here anyway?”

“Answer me, Draco!”

“My broomstick should be around here somewhere. We have to get back to Hogwart’s.” Draco walked over to a dark corner, and pulled his broomstick from underneath someone’s window-box. “Here it is.”

Harry stared at him. “What is the matter with you? How can you do that?”

Draco looked sideways at him, barely meeting Harry’s eyes from under his pale lashes. “Do what?”

“Run hot and cold like that. You – you just kissed me like it meant something, and now – I don’t even know what you’re doing.”

Draco fastened his cloak around his shoulders as best he could; the clasp had been twisted when he fell. “Practice, Potter, years of practice.” Draco mounted his broomstick, and his silver eyes were cold and unreadable when he finally met Harry’s eyes again. “Be sure to tell that to Weasley – he’ll be sure to set you straight on what kind of person I am.” Draco smiled. “Anyone can learn to kiss, Potter. You shouldn’t be so easily fooled.”

Harry’s jaw dropped in shock. “Draco!” Draco took off without answering. Harry staggered back, as if he had been physically struck. “Draco,” he whispered miserably.

Harry turned around, to head back to where he had left Ron and the others. He walked back around the corner, and came face to face with Quinn.

Quinn’s face was tight with rage. “No wonder he wanted to go back to Hogwart’s so badly. I’m sorry if I intruded on your relationship.” Harry tried to protest, as he wondered wildly what Quinn had heard, or if he had seen them kissing. “Forget it. You can have the little cheat, if you want him.”

“No, Quinn, wait – you don’t understand!”

“I don’t care,” yelled Quinn. “I’ve seen enough. He lied to me, and that’s all that really matters. And you might want to think twice about him, come to think about it.” And with that parting shot, Quinn walked off.

--
‘If I should die this very moment I wouldn’t fear for I’ve never known completeness like being here wrapped in the warmth of you loving every breath of you’
Lamb “Gorecki”

Harry leaned against the wall. His legs felt like lead; there seemed to be iron bands around his chest. He closed his eyes, and let his mind race back to the memory of holding Draco, ardent and wanting, in his arms. That was how Ron found him.

“Harry? Where’s Draco?”

“Where’s Quinn?” George asked.

“He left. Draco went back to Hogwart’s.” Harry took a deep breath, and stood up. He looked at Ron, and wondered if the pain showed in his eyes. “Quinn saw us kissing, and got angry at me.”

“Quinn ... saw you kissing ... Draco?” repeated Ron in disbelief. “What?”

Fred and George looked at each other. Fred looked up at the sky. “Is it a full moon?”

“Yeah, maybe Harry’s a were-Slytherin.” Harry glared at the twins, but he couldn’t stay angry with them. Fred and George grinned, pleased that they had broken through Harry’s shock.

Angelina giggled to herself. “What an interesting image,” she purred. “I think I’d like a picture of that.”

“Naughty thing!” Fred grabbed Angelina. “Put that thought out of your mind this instant.”

“Mind my arm!” she exclaimed, and pushed Fred away, rubbing her arm. “It’ll be out of my mind in a bit.” She looked critically at Ron’s split lip and the bruises that Fred and George were sporting, and Harry’s ripped shirt and bloody knuckles. “You know, we don’t look as though we’ve been doing anything except fighting.”

“Yeah, Ron won’t be up to kissing for days.” George smiled as Ron ruefully touched his lip. “You put up a good show, though.”

“Nothing like Angelina,” said Ron enviously. “Where did you learn to fight like that?”

“I don’t fight,” said Angelina with a very superior air. “I am a pugilist. It’s a science.”

“Whatever, you were pretty great back there.”

Fred coughed, and stood in front of Ron. “My woman. Go admire scenery or something.” George snerked with choked laughter. Fred turned to Angelina. “Nice ass, babe.”

“Thanks!” said Angelina perkily, and gave Fred a quick kiss.

Ron shook his head and walked over to Harry. “We have to get back.”

Harry nodded in agreement, and the group settled down to the serious business of sneaking back into Hogwart’s. The castle was silent when they returned, and they reached Gryffindor tower without meeting anyone at all. They patched themselves up as best they could in the dark, and Harry finally went to bed, to dream of nothing except Draco’s soft lips against his.

It seemed to Harry that classes at Hogwart’s had never taken so long before. The entire day was just wasted time, until he could see Draco again. Harry wanted to see Draco. He wanted to see him today, to see if he still felt as strongly about his old enemy in the bright daylight as he had in the warm darkness of the club. But Draco was nowhere to be seen; he hadn’t been at breakfast, and Draco wasn’t in any of his classes today. Harry hadn’t seen so much as one of Draco’s white-gold hairs all day, leaving Harry to wonder if he would have to sneak out to the nightclub to see Draco again.

Harry was trailing behind Ron and Hermione as they headed for the library, when he saw Draco walking in the opposite direction. Draco looked at him, his silver eyes pleading, and then he glanced silently at Ron and Hermione, before walking into an empty classroom.

Harry’s heart skipped a beat. “Hey, guys, I’ll be right there, okay?” Harry called out, and then he ran after Draco without waiting for their reply.

He walked into the room. Draco was at the far end of the room, leaning against one of the student desks, his robes open to reveal his clothes underneath. “Lock the door,” whispered Draco. Harry did so.

Draco took a half-step forward, and Harry rushed to him. They met, and Draco almost fell into Harry’s arms. “Draco,” Harry whispered. He realized that Draco was sobbing.

“I have to go home this weekend,” whispered Draco through his tears. “My father heard – something, I don’t know if he knows everything. I know he doesn’t know about you. If he did – oh, Harry, I’m so scared.”

“Draco – about last night, I ran into Quinn after you left. He’s really upset, maybe you could just explain? Something. I don’t really know what’s going on, Draco. I want to help you, but I just don’t know.”

“I know,” said Draco simply. “I meant for you to run into him.”

“Draco!”

“Quinn’s angry. If – when – my father talks to him, he won’t think....”

“Your father doesn’t like Druids, I take it?” said Harry dryly. “So you made Quinn hate you, so your father wouldn’t be as angry with you.”

Draco nodded. He was hiding his face in Harry’s chest.

“That’s pretty twisted, Draco.”

Draco swallowed another sob. “What else could I do?”

“You know that won’t work with me.” When Draco didn’t answer, Harry tilted Draco’s face up to his. “Not a chance, Draco.” He kissed Draco, hungrily, again and again. He pulled Draco’s slender body to him, and ran his hands through his soft golden hair.

Draco withdrew for a breath. “Harry, you can’t fight him. He’d kill me if he thought – if he knew how I feel about you.”

“How do you feel about me?” whispered Harry against Draco’s lips.

Draco shook his head and pulled away. “I won’t say it, Harry. I can’t.”

Harry let him go. “Why?”

Draco turned away from Harry, and unbuttoned his shirt. Harry started to ask something, then he saw Draco’s back.

Pale skin, criss-crossed with pale scars, the evidence of savage beatings clear on his otherwise flawless skin.

“He would kill me, Harry, if he was angry enough.” Draco pulled his shirt more tightly around himself. Harry almost moved to embrace Draco, but found himself frozen in place with horror. Draco half-turned to face Harry. “And then he would go after you, if he thought ... I cared for you. I won’t let him do that, Harry.” Draco pulled his shirt back on, and busied himself buttoning his shirt for a moment. “That would be a terrible waste of everything I’ve done for you, Potter.”

“What?”

Draco smiled indulgently, and pulled Harry’s head down to his for a kiss. The wonder of Draco’s kiss almost wiped away his confusion, but some trace was still evident in Harry’s eyes when Draco let him go.

“I have to leave tomorrow as soon as classes are over, so I probably won’t see you until Monday morning.” Draco smoothed down his robes, fastening them again over his clothes. Draco gently ran his hand down the side of Harry’s face. “I never thought you’d look at me like this.”

Harry held Draco’s hand to his face, then impulsively turned his head and dropped a swift kiss at the base of Draco’s palm. Draco gasped as a thrill of passion ran through him.

“Harry!” Draco smiled shyly, then he pulled his hand away. “I have to go now.”

Harry sat down at one of the desks so that he wouldn’t try to stop Draco from leaving. Draco smiled uncertainly, then turned to leave.

“Draco.”

Draco stopped, but didn’t turn around again. “Yes?”

“You sent Dobby to stop me coming back, didn’t you?”

Draco turned his head so that Harry could see his smile, and nodded. “I have to go before anyone comes to look for me.”

“If you’re not back by Monday morning, I’m going to come looking for you.”

Two bright spots of color appeared on Draco’s cheeks. “You wouldn’t,” he said, but his voice was pleased. Looking into Harry’s serious green eyes, Draco had no doubt that Harry would do exactly what he said. The knowledge gave him a comforting strength that he hadn’t had before. “I’ll be back on Monday.”

Harry nodded.

Draco walked out of the classroom.