The Dinner

Disclaimer: I do not own, or claim to own, Harry Potter. All characters, and other related texts, are the intellectual property of J.K Rowling, and or her associates as the copyright holders. I have made no money from the publishing of this story.

The Dinner.

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Harry Potter, and his lover, Draco Malfoy, had just come through the door, and into the inside of their flat. They had been out for dinner, and it was now getting late. Draco was grouchy over Harry teasing him over his enormous appetite. Not speaking much, they both made their way to their bedroom, where they both lie down in their ridiculously large bed.

When Draco heard Harry's breathing slow, he knew he had went to sleep. At this, he rolled over onto his back, and stared at the ceiling. He was just not sleepy, and he had a mild case of heartburn from their meal earlier.

After several minutes, Draco felt his lower gut give a spasm, and then give a quick lurch. "Oh no". He whimpered.

Next, Draco felt as if a large bubble was forcing its way along the inside of his colon. It started in his lower right stomach, made its way upwards, then across his body, and at last, it started to move downwards. When it reached its end, he felt as if his arsehole was going to suddenly blow open, but he held it in.

Draco quickly looked over at Harry, and saw that he was sleeping. Harry was on his side, his back to the young blonde, and had the covers pulled up to his forehead. As Draco contemplated this, it struck him that Harry had mercilessly teased him about his eating habits, and his heartburn, on the way to bed. Like lightning, a thought struck him; payback.

'I could fart, and gas him', Draco thought maliciously. As he smirked, he remembered what his father had once said to him at the age of five.

'Son, a Malfoy will never pass wind! If they must, they will go to the nearest water closet, or go outside where nobody is around. If you should let something slip around a group of people, you will always blame it on the one closest to you'. Lucius drawled in Draco's head. Draco thought about this, and really, nobody was around, except, a sleeping Harry.

Draco's arsehole gave another lurch outward, and he knew that he either had to get up, or try to let the gas escape, and try to be silent about it. He looked over at Harry again, and that brought back the raven hairs teasing full fold. Draco then looked up at the ceiling, adjusted the covers up under his arm pits, and clamped his arms down flat at his sides, sealing off the deadly gasses escape route toward him. He then lifted his left leg slightly, bending it at his knee. He pursed his lips, and tried his best to control his troublesome sphincter.

"Poooooooooot", Draco farted. It was almost silent, but oh God, how it burned. However, that wasn't all, as immediately, he felt something else try to come out. It was as if a turtle had tried to stick its head outside it shell, and quickly had withdrew back inside. He knew what that was, and he also knew he had to get up because that was SHITE!

Draco scrambled to get up, all the while, keeping the covers pinned to the bed without waking Harry. He succeeded, and as silently as he could, he began to walk as quickly as he could to their loo across the room. As soon as he made it inside, and quietly closed the door, he heard Harry stir.

"GODDAMN! Draco, you fuckin' shite"! Harry yelled out at the top of his lungs, and then there was a rather loud thump heard, because Harry had fallen out of the bed. "I'm gonna kill you Malfoy, when you get out. Goddamn, something must have crawled up in you and died"!

As Draco heard Harry crack open the bedroom window, he couldn't help but laugh, but that was a mistake, as his arsehole let loose, and he left a rosebud in his boxer shorts. He began to quickly pull them down at this, and set himself on the pot, totally humiliated.

"Oh God". Draco mumbled, as his stomach grumbled. "Braaaaaaaaap"! Draco loudly farted, and it was followed by several loud 'plops' in the water below him, along with a few final farts. Now, Draco thought it was all over, or that was until the stink from his business hit him square in the nose. All he could think of was that his nose hair must be singed off.

After wiping the tears from his eyes, Draco pulled his pyjama collar up and over his nose to use as a gas mask. The problem was, the vile smell was still penetrating the thin cloth, and this made him start to cough and finally gag.

Through his blurry eyes, he reached for the three ply, triple-quilted, toilet paper, because after all, a Malfoy could only have the best. The problem now was, that the paper refused to unroll, and he could only tear off a small square at a time. On top of this, the vicious stink was about to suffocate him, so he decided to try and hold his breath.

Finally, after Draco tore off five squares of the extra-soft paper, and heard Harry stump his toe into the bed post, which brought on another series of curse words, with the word 'murder' thrown in. He knew he had to calm his lover down, so hastily; he reached behind himself to gently wipe his arse. This all went well, until he noticed that he had gotten some of the vile excrement on his fingers, and he drew in a large breath to curse.

Draco knew as soon as he inhaled, that he shouldn't have done it, as the smell made his stomach give a huge lurch, and he had to swallow back down the upcoming vomit. He quickly stood up, now cursing inside his head, and used his clean hand to pull up his boxers. He almost had them up, when he remembered the nice little rosebud he left, and with another curse, pulled them back off.

Draco reached for the toilets handle, and gave it a push, but nothing happened, not even a gurgle. "What the fuck"? Draco exclaimed, and that made him take in another whiff of his partly un-drowned shite. He tried the handle a few more times to no avail, and saw that the toilet must have been busted, so, he hurried over to the sink and washed his hands, still trying to breathe in through his pyjama top.

After drying his hands, he hurried over to the window to throw it open, and found that it would not budge. "Damn it"! Draco exclaimed, and he was almost ready to cry, but Malfoy's were above that, and he knew it. At this point, he turned around, and high-tailed it to the door, which he quickly opened and closed back behind him.

"DRACO"! Harry growled, and then looked at his lover, who had just came back into the room. As he nursed his big toe, he took in Draco's appearance. The boy had turned white, well a lighter shade than normal, and in some places, his face kind of looked green.

"Uh, Draco, are you all right"? Harry stuttered.

Draco didn't answer though, and Harry saw why, as suddenly, the young blonde's cheeks started to swell out like a balloon.

"No, no, no, no, no"! Harry exclaimed, as he shook his head, and watched on with horror. He quickly jumped from the bed, and started looking around for the small trashcan that they kept in the room, but he could not spot it anywhere. "Hold it in Draco, I'll find it".

Harry was shaking now, as he noticed Draco start to shake, and wave his arms around frantically. 'Where is that damn trashcan'? Harry thought, but he finally realized it must have been still in the kitchen. Finally, he spotted an umbrella in their chair, in which, he rushed over and grabbed. He quickly opened it, turned it upside down, and quickly placed in on the floor. No sooner than he had set it down, Draco fell to his knees and unleashed a torrent of vomit.

Harry watched on with horror, as the vomit forced itself out of Draco in a huge stream, and the chunks of their dinner covered the inside of the umbrella. Harry's stomach did a double-lurch, with a shimmy, and he knew what would happen next.

Harry Potter may have been brave, and faced the darkest wizard of their age, but that did not mean that he didn't have a weak spot. Harry Potter was a sympathetic vomiter. If somebody had puked in the Great Hall, that one morning a few years ago, well the light side would have lost for sure. Harry thought about all of this, until that sweet and sour smell hit him, and he could do nothing but drop to his knees.

"Yaaaaak"! Harry violently puked. "Oh God, please have mercy, "Yaaaaak, gag, yaaaaak"!

Finally, after both young wizards had emptied the contents of their stomachs, Draco, just had to ask a question. "Harry, did you see a brown spot while you were puking"?

"What?" Harry asked. "No, no brown spot that I saw".

"Well, if you had, I was going to tell you that you should swallow it back down, because that's your arsehole"! Draco exclaimed with a laugh.

"That's not funny you cheeky shite! You know damn well that I can't stand to see anyone puke. I almost did from that fart you left anyhow". Harry complained.

"Oh yea, about that. Well, you see, the toilet isn't working, and I left a pretty disgusting present in the bowl". Draco explained.

"Why the FUCK didn't you just banish it"? Harry asked, looking on again with horror.

"Well, I was in such a hurry, I forgot my wand"! Draco stated. "Also, you know that I'm not good at trying to fix anything muggle, so you'll have to take care of it".

"What"? Harry whined, as he started to pale at the thought. "Shite, ah Hell, whatever".

Draco looked over at his long time lover, and saw Harry contemplating something. "Harry"?

"Draco, I'm saying this one time, and one time only. I will never feed you anything Mexican again"!

Fin ;-)