You Know You Are Loved When A Gryffindor Loves You

Title: You Know You Are Loved When A Gryffindor Loves You

Author: Squigglesquared

Rating: NC-17

Pairings: Harry/Severus, Ron/Draco, Hermione/Susie, Hermione/Ginny and a brief Ron/OMC. A little twincest George/Fred, but nothing graphic

Summary: In Harry’s final year at Hogwarts, he and his Potions Master are drawn together in the dead of night and a Bond is formed with far-reaching and unforeseen consequences…. As a result, both have to be sent beyond the protection of Hogwarts for a while. Manipulative!Dumbledore

Warnings: As title page but be warned: Snape is a bit OOC

Spoilers: Not really, but is reasonably canon-compliant up to and including book 5 but as it is set in the seventh year is therefore AU.

A/N: This is my first novel-length Snarry and is probably the most outright romantic piece I’ve ever written – a bit WAFF-y but I enjoyed writing it. After the first Snarry short I did, I wanted to do more Ron/Draco too.

This story is COMPLETE and is now all posted.

Please read and review. I really like it when people take a moment to make a comment, it means a lot to me to receive feedback from readers.

Written: July – Xmas 2006

Word Count: A shade over 130,000

26/12/10 - A/N: Have been going through all of my older tales and coding them correctly for italic, bold, etc. So, here is the improved version with all of the coding in place - read and review and enjoy - The Squig xxx

1

I have to be nasty to him. I always have been. I don’t want to be any more….

How can I ever change my behaviour towards him and not arouse suspicion?. It’s just so difficult sometimes. I hate having a foot in each camp and the duplicity is killing me, literally cutting me in two. I used to be someone with feelings but they have been gradually eroded away until this blasted boy comes into my life. I have to hate him and protect him all at once. What I really want has no bearing on saving the boy-who-lived.

What I want is to take Harry, yes, Harry, into my arms and never let him go.

I watch him turn from feckless boy to brooding young man and what is left of my heart bleeds for him. Dumbledore’s turned him into a reasonably efficient weapon with our help, mainly mine and Remus’, but what of his emotional needs and dare I ask, sexual?. He is young, he should be shagging his way around Hogwarts.

Although rumour reaches me concerning odd liaisons here and there, they never seem to last long. Whenever I see him late at night, always he is alone.

I keep stumbling across him in empty corridors or on the main stairs late at night, a look of despair on his face, quite often in tears. From previous experience, I know it is hard to keep grief private in a crowded dormitory. In these vast open spaces, he has come to hide. He knows the importance of what he faces, takes his extra tuition seriously but he has lost so many in so short a time. I have stopped deducting house points when I find him these days and simply guide him back to his House tower. He gazes at me with those large troubled eyes as I wish him goodnight. He merely nods and murmurs the password to his tower, thanking me for the escort. I know I will run across him at least once more this week. His face is grey and drawn from the lack of sleep as he steps through the portrait hole. He turns to me, his face in shadow, unreadable. “You’re always rescuing me, Severus. Why?. When you hate me so much. It isn’t out of pity that much I know”.

He sags against the wall his shoulders slumping. I fight the urge to take him in my arms and snap out a reply, “It’s to protect the greatest thing you possess, Mr Potter. Your ability to love and be loved that your mother bequeathed you”. I know this answer is both inadequate and hurtful but it is also true. Harry snorts in derision, “Yeah right, So where are all my loved ones?. If I get close to someone they die and as for falling in love, Hah. You may have noticed I am now the resident pariah”, his tone is so bitter, too much so for a mere lad his age. I wish him goodnight and the portrait closes behind him. I hear a muffled sob then silence.

****

Harry wended his weary way to bed, love and be loved indeed. What bollocks!. He was just a weapon, a heat-seeking missile. He’d tried to have relationships but they always fizzled out after his date had had a fuck or two out of him. They wanted the fame to brush off on them, boys and girls alike. Ginny had been the nearest to a relationship that Harry had had, but ultimately she was the wrong gender. They were still friends and she was the only one of his close friends who he had told of his preferences, though he suspected that Hermione was beginning to twig.

He stripped and hopped into bed, laid silencing charms then wanked off thinking about what was possibly under his starched Potions Master’s robes, ‘I bet he has hair on his chest and on his forearms and lower legs, please not his back or shoulders. A nice thatch around his cock, which rises thick and purple from it’, he looked at his own cock as he tugged at it, pink and red at the tip. For a brief moment, he thought of that surly and sarcastic mouth opening around the head of his cock and came a storm into his hand, letting his cries bounce off the silencing charms around him. He could finally sleep.

Harry wasn’t sure when he decided to seduce Snape, no, he was always ‘Severus’ in Harry’s dreams; his buttoned up and not-so-hated teacher. He wasn’t sure when he had decided that Severus Snape was a walking wet dream; probably after the man had held him roughly one night and reassured him in that velvet voice, perhaps it was even earlier, months ago now, when the man laid a comforting hand on Harry’s arm and Harry realised the hand was trembling slightly; but decide he did and like the Gryffindor he was he had bravery and foolhardiness in spades.

Seventh year Potions. First double lesson on Monday mornings. Hell, pure hell. Ron hadn’t finished his essay and handed something in half-baked. Before the lesson was ten minutes old, Gryffindor had lost ten points. The next ten points vanished as Neville and Seamus’ potion farted noxiously amidst sniggers from the Slytherin side of the classroom. They all filed out at the end of the lesson, Harry lingering, looking for an excuse, then a lacewing flew into his eye and he winced and doubled over in the doorway, his hands at his face.

Snape sighed and left his chair, “What is it, Potter?”. “Aaagh, something flew into my eye, sir”. Severus beckoned him back into the classroom, his lips pursed, “Look up, Potter”, as he removed Harry’s glasses and gently prised the eye open, “Keep looking up”, then applied a delicate fingertip to Harry’s eyeball and removed the bit of insect, then instructed the boy to look down, gently lifting his upper lid and removing more detritus, then went over to his stores and fetched a small bottle and cupping Harry’s head with one hand tipping it back, he expertly applied a few drops of an anti-irritant Potion into the eye and told Harry to blink rapidly. Both his eyes teared, several escaped. Before relinquishing him, Snape murmured, “I see that rather too often, Mr Potter. You in tears”. Harry put his glasses back on and smiled weakly, “This time at least it’s only because something flew into my eye, sir”.

****

The cheeky brat winks as he leaves the room a small sneaky smile on his lips that makes me hard as iron to see. It was the bad eye that he winked, the insolent prannock, but it’s the smile that gives the game away. So this is to be a game of cat and mouse, is it, Mr Potter?.

****

‘Point one to me’, thought Harry as he made his way outside for break, his eyes still streaming, his mind full of the roiling dark look his Potions Master had shot him as he left. He almost tripped over Ron and Hermione who waited for him out in the quadrangle. “What happened?, why did he keep you?”, Hermione asked astutely. Harry turned tear-filled eyes to her, “I got an insect in my eye and he fished it out then fixed it with one of his Potions”. They both looked relieved. The bell sounded for the end of break and they headed to double Charms.

The next time teacher and pupil met, Harry’s tears were hot and heartfelt. He was clinging to one of the banister rails as the stairs altered in the middle of the night. As the dramatic reconfiguration ceased, Severus found his way down to a weeping Harry, then sat beside him as he wept, placing what he hoped was a comforting hand on the boy’s shoulder. Harry turned and buried his face in Snape’s robes, “I can’t take this anymore. I’m a human being, for God’s sake, not a fucking machine. I’m being trained to within an inch of my life, but what does that life hold?. Beyond the destruction of Voldemort? Nothing, I tell you, nothing. No-one wants me except to boast that they shagged the boy-who-is-a-mess-on-the-stairs-right-now, and I’m sick of it. Really sick of it. Where does the boy-who-lived end and I begin? Just plain old Harry. Just me”, and his howls increased in volume.

Snape carded a hand through his hair as he sat beside the weeping boy then lifted Harry’s legs and drew them across his own and snaked arms around the boy holding him tight as he cried himself out. As his sobs reduced to sniffles, Harry extracted himself with much embarrassment and apologies and rushed back to his dormitory, turning to murmur a “Thanks”, as he shot off.

That night Harry had confusing images in his dreams, one, where his once-hated Potions Master doled out customary detentions, two, where he came with a shuddering sigh down said Potions Master’s throat and the man smiled and kissed him, his dark eyes full of love. For the first time, Harry saw the man’s smile, big and genuine, his teeth not pointed and yellow as they had always suspected. Severus had a small crease in one cheek that appeared when he smiled that captivated Harry in the dream to the point where he was reaching out a tentative finger to touch it when he was rudely catapulted out of sleep by Ron who was shaking him urgently.

“What?, Whassup, Ron?. Urgh, gerroff me, you weigh a ton”. Harry returned to consciousness, thrashing beneath Ron’s heavier weight. “Sorry Harry. You were having a nightmare, mate. You were calling Snape by his first name and you were writhing and shaking. It didn’t look good. I had to wake you”. This was one of the few times that Harry wanted to hex his best friend into the middle of next week. He stiffened in anger then relaxed, “Thanks, Ron. It was fucking awful. Thanks for waking me. I think I need to get back to sleep now”.

He smiled at Ron who climbed off and went back to his own bed. Harry just remembered enough of the smiley Snape dream to go straight back to it as he dropped off again and ran a gentle finger down the crease again. ..

Then the dream changed again as he rolled over to.... beating the Slytherin team at Quidditch and wiping the smirk from Malfoy’s sexy mouth, that, as the dream changed again, was wrapped around Harry’s cock in the showers, then Oliver Wood entered him from behind and....

Harry woke up again sweating, in the dark, to various snores around him. Merlin!! His hormones were in a state. He smiled as he sat up and rubbed the dreams from his eyes. At least he still had hormones. He was beginning to think he was going off the idea of sex. As he wanked himself back to sleep, he dreamed and fantasised about huge purple cocks taking him every which way, but it was Snape’s purr telling him to turn over and spread his legs that took Harry over the edge, coming and coming into his right hand, grinding himself into the bedding.