Don't Marry Her

Life had been hell lately. Something was happening, something I never even thought to dread, and something I now had to nonetheless face. And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

Mum was, of course, ecstatic. She had always regarded George's girlfriend with a bit of suspicion, but no more than Hermione and certainly less than Fleur. I don't think it was ever much more than her normal protectiveness of her babies, naturally disregarding the fact that even George and I were already twenty-five.

But whatever hesitation she might have had, arranging a wedding was something she enjoyed immensely. It was driving me mad. Pink and ruffles everywhere! She was having all of us de-gnoming the garden every week even though the wedding would be held four months from now.

Ever since they made the announcement, I have been snarky as hell to my brother. He thinks it's my nerves. I know it's not.

I've been bugging him about Wheezes for weeks now. He keeps telling me that of course he won't split our partnership; of course he will keep working there the same, even if he won't be living in the flat above the store. I've been trying to convince him it's not the same, it would limit our research and development time drastically and all the other lame excuses I can come up with. I even yelled at him a couple of times. He says I'm jealous. It annoys me like hell that I know he's right.

I've never really liked that girl she was going out with, and I like her even less now that they're about to tie the knot. I'm reasonably friendly towards her, yes, but I avoid being with her as much as I can. It's better that way, then I don't have to watch my behaviour all the time. I don't have to make nice when all I really want to do is yell at her that he's mine. He's always been mine!

George has never admitted it outright, but I'm sure they're going to have children. In one fit of anger I even yelled at him about it as well. Telling him that when they have kids, he's going to have to grow up. What would I do with a grown-up joke shop partner? He says I'm being stupid, like he would never grow up like that. I've seen it happen, though, people's priorities turning completely upside down with marriage and children. I guess that's what's supposed to happen, but I don't want it to happen to my brother, my twin. I love him too much to lose him, and I would, I know that. Lose him, I mean.

Merlin, it hurts like hell.

Because of me being such an arse, we have drifted apart lately. Yeah, we can still finish each others sentences and for the most time, know what the other is thinking. But it's still not the same; it never is when we fight. Actually before this, there never have been any serious fights between us. We've been always joined at the hip, two halves of the same being. We've been too much the same to fight. It kills me that I can't be happy for him, and I can see that it's hurting him too. But I can't help it, I wish I could.

I keep saying to George that if he gets married, he's going to become boring and domesticated. All the light and excitement will go from his life, and he will just die inside.

I'm lying. If he goes through with it, it's me who's going to die.