The Cat's Meow

Note: I always loved the idea of Hermione still ending up with some...cat-like features, shall we say, after she messed up the Polyjuice Potion. And I love the idea of her getting together with Snape. But maybe not so much when she's a second-year, so this is when she's a fifth-year. And those cat effects aren't wearing off! It's also completely out of canon. Voldemort has already been defeated, woo-hoo, go Harry, etc. etc. Now...


Chapter 1: It's Not Easy Being Furry

Hermione pulled the hood tightly over her head, making sure her ears didn't get smushed flat. It would be bad if anybody noticed that she now had some rather...feline features, but through some careful experimentation, she had also discovered it hurt like blue hell to do anything to her new tail or ears. Thankfully, the fur on her face and extremities had gone away through use of some judicious healing charms, but not even Dumbledore himself could figure out (yet, anyway) how to get rid of the ears and the tail that some misplaced jinx had placed on the fifth-year know-it-all. She'd certainly never come across anything like this in her books!

So far, nobody knew but Harry, Ron, Ginny, Luna, and some of the teachers. And she intended to keep it that way. If word got out that Miss Hermione Granger was part-cat, she knew she'd never have a moment's peace. They already teased her enough. Only her affiliation as a member of the Golden Trio saved her from more, but what could even that do against being a kitty cat? Harry and Ron would end up in more duels than even they could handle.

No, Hermione decided, making sure her tail was most decidedly hidden in the bulk of her robes. A few alterations to her school robes and the addition of the hood (which had been brilliant on Dumbledore's part, she had to admit--adding it to the official school uniform), and nobody should notice for at least the rest of the school year. Maybe by summer, somebody would have figured out what to do about the furry protrusions on the top of her head and the base of her spine.

This afternoon was Double Potions with the Ravenclaw fifth-years and Hermione felt she had to be extra cautious. Not so much because of her classmates, but because of her professor. Professor Snape didn't know that she had turned into a cat-girl. The only teachers who knew were Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall. And, obviously, Madame Pomfrey knew, but that's because Hermione had been unconscious for two days as a result of the after-effects of the jinx. Luckily, it had been over the Christmas break.

"Hermione?" Luna poked her head in around the door, giving her a tentative smile. "Are you ready?" Luna, displaying an unbelievable talent at potion-making, was auditing the fifth-year Potions class this semester, much to Professor Snape's displeasure. A dreamy-eyed Ravenclaw was not somebody he wanted to see more than once in a day, Hermione had a feeling. Hermione loved it. Somebody was able to catch up to her knowledge in potions, and perhaps Luna would end up surpassing it--if nothing else, at least in creativity! Already that week, she had tried to make a potion for making acne disappear...unfortunately, it made the rest of the afflicted's skin disappear as well, giving the unsettling illusion that there was nothing but a skull on top of a body walking around. That had been the last straw for both Professor Snape and Professor Flitwick, who had decreed that Luna was not allowed to practice her potions unless she was under the supervision of Professor Snape.

"Yes, Luna, be out in a minute," Hermione smiled at the blonde-haired girl. Luna must have come in with somebody else to get into the Gryffindor dormitory--probably Ginny. The two fourth-years had become fast friends somehow, especially through all the unpleasantness last year with the downfall of Voldemort. Ginny didn't have to worry about "the overgrown bat" today, though...lucky girl. Hermione chided her thoughts as she grabbed her book bag and hurried out to join Luna. Professor Snape wasn't an overgrown bat. He was just stern and had little patience for idiots. Unfortunately, he also had little patience for "know-it-alls" and Hermione just couldn't help herself. She had gotten better over the years at Hogwarts, matured, developed, realized that sometimes knowing the answer all the time and saying it wasn't the best thing. But she was still the know-it-all bookworm. Or should that be book-cat now? A little sigh escaped her. On top of having fluffy ears and tail (which were a pleasing calico), she had retractable claws--those, at least, could be useful--and her nose exhibited a distressing tendency to be pinkish and damp. It made it extremely difficult trying to figure out if she really could keep it a secret.

The two girls walked in right on the dot of one o'clock. Professor Snape gave them a disapproving glare but couldn't say anything. They were still on time. Luna settled in next to Hermione--ever since she started auditing this class, Hermione was usually paired with her, and Harry and Ron were on their own. Hopelessly on their own, Hermione noted most of the time. Harry wasn't too bad, but Ron exhibited a careless tendency to chop everything into a pulpy mess, throw it into a cauldron, and hope for the best. Usually, this involved an explosion. If they were lucky, Ron and Harry merely turned strange colors or developed odd protuberances or moods. The best was when Ron turned a virulent shade of magenta and floated up to the ceiling. Best friend or not, Hermione couldn't help but burst into a mad fit of the giggles that had earned her a five-point deduction from Gryffindor.

"Today, we will be studying love potions," Snape announced as he turned to face the class with an impressive billow of his cloak. Hermione noticed how well his hair matched the dark, rich color and blushed furiously. Why was she noticing how soft and thick her Potions professor's hair looked? Or the mesmerizing color of his eyes?

"Hermione!" Luna hissed, digging an elbow into her ribs and making her gasp. Snape had stopped talking and all around them, the class was busy getting to work.

"Sorry," Hermione flushed. What was wrong with her? She never tuned out a professor's instructions!

"We're making a love potion," Luna said, looking a bit bewildered. As well she might--love potions were technically illegal. Hermione looked up at the chalked instructions on the blackboard.

"It's a really mild one," Hermione assessed with an inward sigh of relief. Professor Snape was prone to having them test out their concoctions on each other and she didn't really want to be hopelessly besotted with anybody. Or anything--she hadn't forgotten how last year, Colin Creevey ended up in love with a chair after a cruel prank by the Weasley twins. They had gotten detention for two months.

"What's it do?" Luna whispered.

"It intensifies the natural feelings you already have," Hermione whispered back. "Like...if you liked Harry or something and you took this potion, it would make the feelings stronger. But it wouldn't give you any feelings you didn't already have."

"Correct, Ms. Granger," Snape's cold voice drawled next to them. She jumped, feeling her ears twitch on top of her head. Thankfully, the movement was muffled by the heavy fabric of her uniform hood. "Now why don't you try actually making it?"

Hermione blushed again, feeling like her face would remain permanently red, and nodded, getting the ingredients out with a minimum of hand-trembling. This was one of the first classes she'd had since her little...kittenish mishap, and she was rather apprehensive about it. What if being a partial cat did something to her spells or potions? So far, though, it hadn't done anything but make her rather twitchy.

And noticing the scent Professor Snape left behind...her nose twitched as she breathed in the scent of jasmine and sandalwood mixed together. It was almost enchanting...hypnotizing...she bit down hard on her bottom lip, jolting her out of it. What was next? Hermione asked herself furiously as she retrieved a frozen ashwinder's egg. Was she going to climb all over him like a real cat? Sniff his neck? Purr at his feet? Bloody hell, she hadn't even known she had a crush on him, but for all intents and purposes, it appeared that was exactly what she did have.

Oh no, she thought, the blood draining out of her face. If she did have some kind of feelings for Professor Snape, as this peculiar behavior certainly seemed to suggest, then if she was forced to imbibe the love potion...they would be much, much stronger. Hermione didn't know if she could deal with them then.

Frozen in a sort of stupefied horror, she helped Luna put the potion together until it was gently bubbling over the heat. It had turned a pale lavender color. When she looked in it, she swore she could see Snape's name spelled out in pink swirly letters. That's ridiculous, she chided herself. Really. Spelled out in pink letters? With little hearts around it, too, I suppose?

Actually, now that she mentioned it...

Professor Snape snorted in disgust at the front of the room, folding his arms over his chest. His robes settled around him with a definite sense of dark, brooding grandeur.

"Apparently, only two groups have managed to brew the potion correctly," he said in icy tones. Most of the class flushed in shame. "However, Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood, and Lavender Brown and Mandy Brocklehurst, have somehow managed to come up with the correct love potion." Luna looked dreamily happy as always. Hermione tried to muster up a look that at least didn't suggest she was going to the gallows, but couldn't seem to find one.

"Ms. Granger, Ms. Brocklehurst, come up here," Snape commanded, holding two tiny glass bottles full of the shimmering purple liquid. "Let's see if they really work."

Sick with dread, Hermione walked up to the front of the room while Mandy Brocklehurst, another Ravenclaw, did the same. She was inwardly shaking.

Here goes nothing, she thought and took a large swallow.

It tasted like egg nog, she noted dreamily as a lavender mist spread across her vision. A really good kind of egg nog. Snape acquired a purple hue and she blinked dazedly at him.

"What do you feel, Miss Granger?" Professor Snape (Severus, her mind corrected) asked. He had a mildly skeptical expression on his face.

"Loving," Hermione said and pitched forward on her face, lost in unconsciousness.