Harry Potter and the Facts of Life

Chapter One

Harry Potter was lying in his bed. So relaxed and sleeping peacefully. The window was open slightly and a gentle breeze brushed along his uncovered chest. Harry didn’t like wearing his pyjama top while he slept as he felt it was too constricting. Suddenly, a warm sensation washed over Harry. There was a light touch over his nipples. He gasped softly, arching his back. A hand was on him now, moving slowly down his body and resting on the top of his pyjama bottoms. Harry gasped again. Not wanting to open his eyes, he laid still feeling every movement that was upon him. The hand lightly grazed over the thin fabric and Harry could feel a slow pressure on top of him. His hips involuntarily rose up to greet the firm touch.

Harry slowly turned over and felt the warmth beneath him. Hot breathing drifted over Harry's face and to his neck. He instinctively started moving his hips up and down because the feeling was too much for him. He continued, going faster and harder. He clutched the sheets beside his head, gripping them with all of the strength he could possibly muster. He tightened his eyes and lifted his head back.

‘Oh gods…oooohhh…I’m sorry…I can’t stop…aaah…’

Harry unclenched his teeth and dropped down on the pillow breathing erratically. He let out a quiet moan. A great shiver went through his body causing him to moan louder.

“Harry?” A pause. “HARRY!”

Harry jumped up on to his knees panting.

“All right, Harry? It sounded like you were being choked!”

Gaining his composure, he quickly replied, “No. No, Ron. I’m fine. Sorry I woke you.”

“You didn’t wake us, Harry, but you sure did scare me. Thought you were having another dream about…” Ron whispered, “you-know-who.”

Harry quickly looked around. The others were gazing at him. Harry blushed with embarrassment. “No, seriously, I’m fine. I – I just had a weird dream. That’s all.”

“All right then. Better shower and get dressed. Breakfast already started.”

“Uh, ok. Be right down.”

Harry waited until everyone left and then quickly took off his pyjama bottoms, throwing them into the corner. He’d have to remind himself to get those washed. He ran into the showers and turned on the water. Grabbing the soap, he scrubbed fiercely at his face as if he was trying to rub the embarrassment off.

‘I can’t believe it. Not again. What’s the matter with me? Why does this keep happening?’

Then a thought occurred to him.

‘Wait a minute. Ron knows I never take a shower in the morning, so why did he tell me …? Oh, GODS!! He knows! Oh no no no no….’

Harry hurriedly dried off, threw on his school clothes, and ran to the Great Hall. As he entered through the big doors stumbling, Harry felt as if there were a thousand eyes looking directly at him. And there were. Laughter and sniggers rang through his ears. With his head down, he scurried over to his spot at the Gryffindor table, and sat beside Ron and across from Hermione.

Hermione whispered, “Harry. What happened? Why are you so late?”

Mumbling, he replied, “Uh, weird dream. That’s all.”

“Oh good. I thought something might have happened… Oh! There’s Patti. I forgot to tell her something. Be right back,” Hermione said, getting up from the table.

Harry folded his arms on the table and rested his head on top of them. He began to mumble again.

“Harry. It’s all right. It happens to all of us.”

Harry’s head snapped up and his eyes met Ron’s. “What? What are you talking about?”

Ron smiled. “Harry. I told you. It’s all right. It’s no big deal.”

“Wha - what’s all right?”

Ron shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Come on, Harry. It happens to Neville every morning.”

“Really? So I’m not the only one that….uh…?”

Ron sniggered.

“It’s not funny, Ron.”

“Yeah, it is,” Ron said, sniggering again. “Look, do you know what to say if anyone asks what’s wrong?” Harry shook his head and Ron smiled again. “All you have to do is say: ‘I didn’t sleep well last night’.”

“That’s it?” Harry asked and Ron nodded. “And it works?” Ron nodded again.

“Watch. Hey, Neville! You look tired. Everything all right?”

Neville blushed. “Uh, yeah. I – I just didn’t sleep well last night.”

Ron looked back at Harry and grinned. “See?”

Harry sighed with relief, but then he suddenly blurted out, “Oh no!” Ron jumped. “Now if any blokes say that… I’ll know that they...” Harry put his face in his hands. Shaking his head, he whispered, “Disgusting. Disgusting.”

Ron laughed. “Oh yeah? Try living with five brothers!”

Harry shot up, his face scrunching in horror. “Eeurghhh!”

Ron laughed harder, now holding his sides. “Harry. Please. Stop. You’re killing me!”

“Shut up, Ron. I can’t help it.”

“Of course you can’t, prat. No one can!”

Harry sighed. “I bet girls don’t have this problem.”

Ron almost choked on his pumpkin juice, tears now running down his face. He sputtered, “They have it worse.”

“What?”

“Harry! Keep it down. Shit, do you want all the school to hear?”

“Sorry, Ron,” Harry whispered. “But how...stop laughing… do they...I said stop... have it worse?”

Ron started choking and coughing.

“Good. I hope you die, twonk.”

“Sorry, Harry. Really I am. But I thought you already knew about….”

“Well, I didn’t! All right?” Harry hissed through his teeth.

Ron gained what he could of his composure and whispered, “Don’t you remember that class with Professor Snape last term? You know, the one with just the guys?”

“Yeah. So?”

“Don’t you remember what it was all about?”

“Uh no. Not really.” Ron sighed loudly. “Shut up! I know you kept kicking me! Remember?”

“No, Harry. I tried to keep you awake.”

“Oh,” Harry said sheepishly.

“All right. Look. Girls go through... uh… that time every month…”

“What time?”

“Harry, really.” Ron sighed again, but now felt his own face blushing.

“Yes, Ron? What time is that?” Harry asked, grinning at his embarrassment.

Ron growled at him. “THAT time when girls get ready for ….” He paused a moment then stuttered, “uh…. children…and so they…uh… every month …uh… you know, bleed….”

“They BLEED?” Harry cried out. Everyone was now looking at Ron and Harry. “Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods,” he moaned, slowly moving his head down to the table.

“Thanks, Harry. Way to go,” Ron hissed. “I suppose you don’t even know what wanking is either, do you?”

“YES I DO!” Harry shouted. Ron hid his face on the table.

“Mr Potter! In my office! Immediately!” Professor McGonagall exclaimed from across the hall.

“Thanks, Ron.”

Ron quickly looked at Harry, mouthing to him, ‘ME? YOU did it!’

With his head down, Harry got up and followed his teacher to her office, which of course, was her classroom. Harry felt his legs grow weaker with every step. The corridors now felt longer and wider, which was strange because Harry’s eyes never left the floor so he didn’t actually see them. After what seemed like an eternity, they reached her office. She motioned Harry to stop in front of her desk as she proceeded to go around it and sat down.

“Now, Mr Potter, explain yourself as to why you interrupted the breakfast meal with your irrational behaviour.”

Harry thought he was going to die. He shoved his hands deep into his trouser pockets. “Uh... uh... well, you see... Ron…uh... Mr Weasley and I... uh...were talking and....uh…”

“Yes, Potter, I assessed that much already. And I must congratulate you for your immaculate display of the English language.”

“Oh. Sorry, Professor.” he whispered, looking at the floor.

“Perhaps you can tell me who is going to bleed and why you clearly agreed to help?”

Harry felt all the blood rush out of his face. “No!” he snapped with his head shooting up. Professor McGonagall’s eyes widened. “I mean, no. No. It wasn’t anything like that.”

“Then do tell, Mr Potter. I’m listening,” she said, her eyes now narrowed.

“Well, Professor, it was like this…uh... well…” Harry stammered, toeing the floor.

“MR POTTER! I grow tiresome of this continuing resistance! Now tell me what happened!”

Harry sighed, looking at the floor again. He couldn’t bear to look her in the eye while he spoke the truth. “Ok, Professor. Ron was telling me about girls and what happens every month to them and…”

“That’s enough, Mr Potter,” she said curtly. Harry quickly looked up at her. Her eyes were now gleaming with amusement. “You may go now, Potter. But the next time you and Mr Weasley discuss such matters, keep it in the privacy of your dormitory.”

“Yes, Professor.”

“You may go now.”

“Thank you, Professor.” With that, Harry turned around and walked out as fast as he could without running. If he had looked behind him, he would have seen her smile.

”Harry! What happened? Did you tell her the truth? You didn’t get detention for it, did you?”

“Yes, I did. And no, I didn’t.”

“Whew. I thought for sure you would, but then that would be quite stupid if you think about it, because…”

“Ron?”

“What?”

“Shut up.”

Harry could not believe how fast the incident at breakfast got around school. All through the day there were sniggering, pointing, elbowing, and sometimes outright laughter. Every now and then, he caught barely whispered words and phrases.

“Potter had a wet dream last night. His first.”

“Did you hear Weasley had to explain it to him?”

“Oh, yeah. I heard about that. He probably had to demonstrate it to him, too!”

“And about the girls?

“I know. I can’t believe he’s that daft.”

“I know. Wait ‘till you hear what else I heard…”

On and on the whispers came, and the day proceeded slowly. Harry just couldn’t take it anymore. He just wanted this day over with.

“Hi, Harry.”

“Please, Ron. Not now. It’s been a long day.”

“Harry, don’t worry. No one will remember this tomorrow.” Harry shot Ron a glare. “Ok. Maybe some of them will. But Harry, it’s all a part of growing up…”

Harry sighed. “I know, Ron. I heard that speech ten times from Hermione already.”

“Sorry, Harry. So. Let’s go to dinner then. You already missed lunch.”

Harry sighed again. “I’m never going back in there.”

“All right then,” Ron replied. “Hey! I’ll bring you back something, ok?”

“Thanks. That sounds good.”

Ron smiled with glee knowing he finally did something right today. Harry smiled as his friend happily trotted down to the Great Hall. Harry sighed and turned around so fast that he didn’t see the three individuals walking up behind him.

“Hey! Watch it, Potter!”

“Get out of my way, Malfoy,” Harry hissed.

Draco Malfoy smirked, raising an eyebrow. “So, Potter. Had any good dreams lately?” Crabbe and Goyle looked at each other and laughed.

“Sod off, Malfoy!”

“Ah, do tell us, Potter. Or perhaps...” Draco paused. “Perhaps you’re too embarrassed to say because it was about that mudblood you hang around with,” he sneered.

Harry pushed Draco while yelling, “Don’t you EVER call her that again!”

Crabbe and Goyle caught Draco just in time from falling backwards. Draco went straight up to Harry’s face and hissed, “Potter, you’re going to regret that. From now on, you better watch your back.”

“Anytime, anywhere, Malfoy,” Harry growled through his teeth.

The tension from that encounter fueled the hatred between the two of them. Harry watched the three of them leave; Draco storming off while the other two were trying to keep up.

Yes, this day just keeps getting better and better.

~*~*~*~*~

Harry Potter leaned back on the comfortable chair in the common room. Hogwarts: A History lay open face down on his lap. He closed his eyes and softly sighed. Harry had promised Hermione that he would read at least one Chapter a month. He smiled. At least it wasn’t one Chapter a week as Ron had promised her.

He was alone in the dorm - even though it was Sunday. The rest of the students had gone to Hogsmeade for the day. Harry stayed behind to study for a test tomorrow in Snape’s Potions class, and because he didn’t want to endure the endless lectures from Hermione. He smiled again thinking of poor Ron getting pestered from her because he hadn’t studied either.

Harry took a deep breath and let his mind start to drift, remembering that incident of the “weird dream”. It was only a couple of years ago, but to Harry, it felt like it had happened just yesterday. He chuckled at himself for being so naive. Gone now were the painful times of having to hide behind strategically placed books. Or the uncomfortable way his trousers confined him when he was sitting. He had, however, found a way of controlling those embarrassing morning moments. But, he still felt the need, so eventually he had have to ‘take care of it’.

And it had to be planned so carefully.

In the morning? No, too risky. At night? Maybe, but he had to wait till everyone had gone to sleep. Of course that meant listening to them. Harry had got quite used to that, but wondered why they never used the silencing charm. Harry snorted. It was probably the same reason why he never used it anymore: Harry could never hear them in the morning when they had tried to wake him up. Plus, it was also a dead giveaway.

As the years went by, Harry began to think that something was wrong with him. Why three or four times a day? Why the need to do it in the first place? Sure it was satisfying, but he had this feeling of guilt. Like everyone knew what he was doing. And so, whether he was doing it alone in the shower (which became a ritual), or in the bathroom or anywhere else he could find, every time they had looked at him, he thought, ‘They know. They can tell.'

So, Harry tried not to be nervous, tried to relax and most of all - tried not to blush.

He wondered if everyone did it as much as he did. He knew Neville did, but his other dorm mates? Do the girls? And if so, how would they do it? And when? But what Harry wanted to know more than anything, was why didn’t he need any visual stimulation? And why did the ‘need’ come out of the blue? And all the time! It was so frustrating!

Harry didn’t remember how or when, but he had got his hands on some adult books and magazines. That told him more than anything the twins, Fred and George, had told him. Hmm. Now that he thought about it, it was Fred and George who had given them to him! But where in the world did they get them? Harry snorted. Probably from their father who confiscates muggle items from other wizards.

‘Too much thinking Harry. Relax and get a few moments of peace.’ Harry thought.

It was cold outside, so Harry sat in front of the fireplace to keep warm. Even though he was alone, he didn’t want to take a chance at being caught. He sat the book down on the floor, and pulled a blanket over him. Just in case. Harry leaned his head back in the chair, eyes still closed. There was that need again but this time, Harry could go as slow as he wanted. That bothered him as well. Why couldn’t he make it last? He had tried several times but … it had just overwhelmed him.

‘Take it slow. Just take it slow. Nobody’s here. Just relax.’

Harry held his breath, trying to calm his heartbeat, but it didn’t work. His hands shook as he undid his belt and lowered the zip on his trousers. He just wanted relief and he wanted it now.

‘Harry. It’s ok. Just relax. Just relax. Breathe slowly.’

He shuddered when his hand went under his pants. Just touching himself gave him sensations all over. He shifted on the chair so he could sit sideways. Much better. Now he could stretch out if he needed to. As usual, Harry began slowly but the waves of pleasure overtook him. Tightening his grip, he couldn’t help but go faster. And faster. And faster. Harry arched his back and dug his head into the armchair. His other hand clutched the seat cushion. The moment was coming.

And so was he.

‘Oh Merlin! Oh gods! Nonononono…Hold out. Just hold oooonnnn…AAAHHHH!’

Harry bit his lip trying not to yell. He kept stroking himself until all was released. After taking a deep breath and holding it, he finally relaxed his grip and shuddered, but left his hand on that one spot. Slowly opening his eyes, he looked hazily at the ceiling then started taking deeper breaths so his heartbeat would return to normal. Yes, it was definitely better when he was alone and didn’t have to worry about a time limit. He sighed again with contentment until he looked down at himself. There it was. All over his new jumper, some on his chin and the rest was on his hands. Nothing to wipe it on. Damn. Nothing to clean himself with. No wand nearby to use. Harry thought quickly, grabbed what he could off his chin and then wiped his hand on his jumper. A shower sounded good about now. But what about his jumper? He had just given his dirty clothes to the house elves to clean. Shit. He could do it himself while he was in the shower.

Good idea.

A plan now formulated, Harry zipped himself up and turned to go upstairs. Uh oh. Stop. Check the chair. No evidence. The blanket? Nothing. He turned back around and padded upstairs. Yes, a nice shower would do the trick. He undressed and strolled into the shower feeling ultimately relieved. Nice warm water trickled down Harry's body. He began soaping himself up, starting at his face then down to his legs. It felt so wonderful. Harry was in utter bliss. To make sure he was completely clean, Harry took extra care pulling back his foreskin to get underneath.

‘Oh no. Not again. Why? I just did it. Why? Am I a pervert or something?’

Harry sighed and thought he better take care of himself again while he was still alone. Harry smiled as he thought,

‘If this were a competitive event, I would make first place.’

He finished off and then scrubbed his jumper with soap and rinsed it out. Now a nap sounded good. He placed his jumper on the end of the bed letting the water drip to the floor. He’d worry about that later. No one questioned Harry when they found him sleeping. But Ron did question why his clean, new jumper was wet.

“Uh, I spilt milk on it.” Ron believed him and Harry smiled again.


~*~*~*~*~