Truth In Advertising
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
4,463
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
4,463
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I am not JKR. I don't own the world of Harry Potter. I make no money from this work of fanfiction.
Truth In Advertising
TITLE: Truth in Advertising for ladyzcastle
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: sexual innuendo, potential SS/HG/LM
WORD COUNT: 891
PROMPT: Snape/Hermione/Lucius , t-shirts with phrases, points to Slytherin
He could always tell what mood she was in by the special t shirts she wore on the weekends. In the beginning, he didn't know what to make of her casual attire during the Saturday morning staff meetings.
At first, they were rather innocuous promotions for her favorite causes, Muggle and Magical alike. Some he didn't understand. PETA sounded like something with which to fertilize his potions garden. Her musical groups shirts brought back a few of the more pleasant of his childhood memories. Whenever she wore 'PMT: Pre-Meditated Torture,' he knew to stay out of her line of sight, lest he incite her pre-menstrual rage. There were a few which stunned and fascinated him at the same time.
One particular Saturday, close to the end of her first year as the charms professor, she came into the staff room in rather high spirits. Her hair wasn't in its usual knot at the back of her head, and she seemed just slightly out of sorts. He couldn't pinpoint what was off about her, but she seemed to carry herself differently.
She pulled off her light cardigan and sat on the sofa next to him. He gave her his usual cautionary glance, as he would to anyone who had the misfortune to sit next to him. That was when he noticed her attire, and the seemingly risque statement her shirt made. 'Slytherins Do It Better' How would she know that? he thought, stunned that she would have the audacity to wear a shirt making such a proclamation. Should I give points to Slytherin for someone finally having the bollocks to unfreeze the frigid witch's knickers? Good gods, I sincerely hope she had the decency to be discreet. I know she's not much older than the graduating seventh years, but she wouldn't have...would she? The thoughts were swimming around in his brain as she looked at him with a questioning glance. She then remembered what she was wearing, and chuckled at his obvious confusion. Wouldn't he die if he knew the reason I was wearing this? she thought with amusement.
As the Headmaster droned on and on about the upcoming graduation ceremony, Severus and Hermione were both lost in their own thoughts, musing over the discomfort that was clearly evident between them. After much arguing amongst the staff about speeches and responsibilities for commencement, they were dismissed. Everyone quickly vacated the room, leaving Severus and Hermione sitting on the sofa.
Working up the nerve to speak, Severus finally said, “I do hope you were discreet with which ever Slytherin is responsible for the message on your shirt.”
“Wouldn't you like to know” she muttered. “Yes, very discreet in fact. Although, I can't in all honesty say 'Slytherins' do it better, as my encounter was only with one former Slytherin. Alas, I could only find the pluralized version of my shirt. I really need to find another willing member of your house, just so I won't be party to false advertising. Don't you agree?” she asked coquettishly.
“I can see that I have rendered you speechless. It's of little importance, as I wasn't expecting you to respond. Please let me know if you think of any members of your house who would be willing to assist me. Good day, Severus.” With that parting remark, Hermione flounced out of the staff room, pleased that she had gotten in the last word.
Severus mulled Hermione's remarks over for the rest of the day, and he still seemed a bit out of sorts when he arrived at Malfoy Manor for his customary Saturday night of drinks with his best friend.
“Severus,” Lucius welcomed as his friend stepped through the floo. Lucius took one look at him and knew something was disturbing him. “Is there something wrong? You seem a bit out of sorts.”
“Hmm. Just the usual perplexing attire of Hogwarts' resident know it all” Severus mentioned casually.
“What was it this time? 'Save a broom, ride the seeker,' or was it some Muggle thing that I have no hopes of understanding?”
“I wish it was a 'Seeker' comment. At least that would be expected, as it was common knowledge about her relationship with the boy who wouldn't die. No, this one was about Slytherins who do it better.”
Lucius couldn't contain his laughter at Severus' discomfort. “She actually wore it, the little vixen” Lucius said as his body shook with laughter.
Severus looked at his friend, shocked at Lucius' remark. “You seem unsurprised at the commentary of her apparel.” Severus then had a sickening realization, “Dear gods! You're the Slytherin her shirt referred to, aren't you?”
“Appalled that it was me and not you?” Lucius took in his friend's affronted look and continued, “Please Severus, you haven't been this obtuse about fancying a female since your sixth year. It's painfully obvious that you want her in your bed, so why not use the Slytherin designation to your advantage. I know she probably mentioned something about wanting the slogan to be as truthful as possible. After the end of term, I'll invite her back to the manor, and we can determine it as a threesome. That would be in the best interest of all involved, wouldn't you agree?”
“Spectacular idea Lucius. I can always count on you to bring an outrageous situation into perspective.”
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: sexual innuendo, potential SS/HG/LM
WORD COUNT: 891
PROMPT: Snape/Hermione/Lucius , t-shirts with phrases, points to Slytherin
He could always tell what mood she was in by the special t shirts she wore on the weekends. In the beginning, he didn't know what to make of her casual attire during the Saturday morning staff meetings.
At first, they were rather innocuous promotions for her favorite causes, Muggle and Magical alike. Some he didn't understand. PETA sounded like something with which to fertilize his potions garden. Her musical groups shirts brought back a few of the more pleasant of his childhood memories. Whenever she wore 'PMT: Pre-Meditated Torture,' he knew to stay out of her line of sight, lest he incite her pre-menstrual rage. There were a few which stunned and fascinated him at the same time.
One particular Saturday, close to the end of her first year as the charms professor, she came into the staff room in rather high spirits. Her hair wasn't in its usual knot at the back of her head, and she seemed just slightly out of sorts. He couldn't pinpoint what was off about her, but she seemed to carry herself differently.
She pulled off her light cardigan and sat on the sofa next to him. He gave her his usual cautionary glance, as he would to anyone who had the misfortune to sit next to him. That was when he noticed her attire, and the seemingly risque statement her shirt made. 'Slytherins Do It Better' How would she know that? he thought, stunned that she would have the audacity to wear a shirt making such a proclamation. Should I give points to Slytherin for someone finally having the bollocks to unfreeze the frigid witch's knickers? Good gods, I sincerely hope she had the decency to be discreet. I know she's not much older than the graduating seventh years, but she wouldn't have...would she? The thoughts were swimming around in his brain as she looked at him with a questioning glance. She then remembered what she was wearing, and chuckled at his obvious confusion. Wouldn't he die if he knew the reason I was wearing this? she thought with amusement.
As the Headmaster droned on and on about the upcoming graduation ceremony, Severus and Hermione were both lost in their own thoughts, musing over the discomfort that was clearly evident between them. After much arguing amongst the staff about speeches and responsibilities for commencement, they were dismissed. Everyone quickly vacated the room, leaving Severus and Hermione sitting on the sofa.
Working up the nerve to speak, Severus finally said, “I do hope you were discreet with which ever Slytherin is responsible for the message on your shirt.”
“Wouldn't you like to know” she muttered. “Yes, very discreet in fact. Although, I can't in all honesty say 'Slytherins' do it better, as my encounter was only with one former Slytherin. Alas, I could only find the pluralized version of my shirt. I really need to find another willing member of your house, just so I won't be party to false advertising. Don't you agree?” she asked coquettishly.
“I can see that I have rendered you speechless. It's of little importance, as I wasn't expecting you to respond. Please let me know if you think of any members of your house who would be willing to assist me. Good day, Severus.” With that parting remark, Hermione flounced out of the staff room, pleased that she had gotten in the last word.
Severus mulled Hermione's remarks over for the rest of the day, and he still seemed a bit out of sorts when he arrived at Malfoy Manor for his customary Saturday night of drinks with his best friend.
“Severus,” Lucius welcomed as his friend stepped through the floo. Lucius took one look at him and knew something was disturbing him. “Is there something wrong? You seem a bit out of sorts.”
“Hmm. Just the usual perplexing attire of Hogwarts' resident know it all” Severus mentioned casually.
“What was it this time? 'Save a broom, ride the seeker,' or was it some Muggle thing that I have no hopes of understanding?”
“I wish it was a 'Seeker' comment. At least that would be expected, as it was common knowledge about her relationship with the boy who wouldn't die. No, this one was about Slytherins who do it better.”
Lucius couldn't contain his laughter at Severus' discomfort. “She actually wore it, the little vixen” Lucius said as his body shook with laughter.
Severus looked at his friend, shocked at Lucius' remark. “You seem unsurprised at the commentary of her apparel.” Severus then had a sickening realization, “Dear gods! You're the Slytherin her shirt referred to, aren't you?”
“Appalled that it was me and not you?” Lucius took in his friend's affronted look and continued, “Please Severus, you haven't been this obtuse about fancying a female since your sixth year. It's painfully obvious that you want her in your bed, so why not use the Slytherin designation to your advantage. I know she probably mentioned something about wanting the slogan to be as truthful as possible. After the end of term, I'll invite her back to the manor, and we can determine it as a threesome. That would be in the best interest of all involved, wouldn't you agree?”
“Spectacular idea Lucius. I can always count on you to bring an outrageous situation into perspective.”