Catharsis

Hurt.

It seems like centuries rather than decades of it flow between us. Our acquaintanceship has been nothing more than one layer of pain, betrayal and anger layered on top of another until the faint traitorous hope of something better has been suffocated to death.

Despite this less than ringing endorsement of our relationship, Fate apparently refuses to take the sodding hint and decides that it would be best that we are trapped, bound and shackled together again, against both our will and the good health of anyone within hexing, or indeed hearing distance. We are doomed. The absolute truth of this statement is undeniable in both literal and metaphorical terms, considering the fact that at present both the idiot hound and myself simply detest each other, and also because this self same realisation has occurred whilst we are both guests of Lucius Malfoys rather dubious hospitality.

“We’re still trapped.”

“Your mastery of the English language is only overshadowed by your almost godlike ability to continuously restate the bloody obvious Black.”

“At least I am attempting to keep my focus on the problem in hand rather than simply alternating my input between pacing, snarling and attempting to paralyze my detested cellmate with a vitriolic glare, then drowning him with a deluge of devastating sarcasm.”

“If you would prefer I could expand the variety of my input by subtly peppering it with a mixture of loud expletives and extreme violence, if that would keep you from continuously babbling inanities, thus allowing me to actually formulate a bloody escape plan!”

“Remind me again of the reasons why I haven’t as of yet actually removed that slimy, supercilious smirk from your God awful unfortunate face with my fist!”

“Because, Black , you ignoramus, my being unconscious would be deemed by fate to be too merciful a way out of our miserable situation. It is a pity, had you only possessed a modicum of wit and foresight two decades ago and struck me, rather than snogged me, our wretched misbegotten lives and therefore imminent deaths could have been infinitely more tolerable.”