Maybe

This is a short drabble I just thought of. It's kinda weird, but whatever. It's first person in Remus' POV. I thought of this in the shower. God, am I weird. :)

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Maybe, if I close my eyes, I can wish it all away.

I can wish away the death, the bodies, the gaping hole that is left of my heart.

Maybe, if I pray hard enough to some silent deity, I can go back in time.

I can go back and save them, and tell them what happens, and stop it from occurring.

Maybe, if I had loved him enough, he would have stayed.

He would have stayed, and loved me, and he wouldn't have killed them and left me alone.

Maybe, if I had talked about those secret Order missions, he would have believed me, and we would still be together.

We would be together, happy, with James and Lily and Harry and Peter, living. We could still be laughing and loving and fighting.

Maybe, if I had just left him alone, left all of them alone, they would be alive.

I would gladly trade places with them. I would rather be anywhere but here, alone and unloved and alive.

It saddens me that, when faced with the truth, 'maybe' is better.

~Fin