Coming Home

“I cheated on you.”

“You…you cheated on me. I…Who? When? Why, Draco?”

“A bloke I met in a bar last weekend. I was drunk, and upset…I’m so sorry.”

“I was out of town last weekend…is that why? You couldn’t keep it in your pants for two fucking days? Did – did you bring him to our bed, Draco? You fucked some other man in our bed.”

“I’m so sorry, Harry, I…”

“So am I. All these months, all the time I spent defending you to everyone who told me I was a fool to trust you. And it turns out I am a fool. Take this, I have no use for it. Good-bye, Draco.”

Harry sat up quickly, gasping. His heart was racing as he rubbed at his eyes, trying to force out the memories.

“Harry?” Draco’s sleepy voice sounded through the dark. “Everything all right?”

“I…yeah, just a nightmare.”

“What about?” Draco grabbed his wand from the bedside table and silently lit the lamp.

“I…nothing. Just, uh, war stuff.”

“Harry.” Draco sat up. “I thought we promised not to lie to each other.”

Harry sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s…it was about that day, when we broke up. I still see it in my dreams sometimes. I can hear your voice perfectly, telling me…”

“That I was unfaithful,” Draco finished quietly. “Harry…”

“I know, Draco, I know. We’re supposed to be moving on. I can’t help these dreams, though. I want to believe in you, in us, but every time I go to sleep I replay that scene, or I dream about you making love to someone else. I don’t know what to do to make it go away.”

“I’m sorry, Harry.” Draco took Harry’s hand. “I don’t know what else I can do to make this work. We’ve been together for two weeks now, and you won’t make love to me. You flinch when I touch you intimately, and I always feel like you’re not telling me something. I need to know what to do here, because I’ll do anything, I swear it.”

“Baby, I know you will. And I know I haven’t been up to sex, I just…gods, Draco, every time I think of making love to you I know that someone else was inside you.” Harry looked away.

“He wasn’t.”

“What?”

“He wasn’t inside me. I…I’ve never bottomed for anyone but you.”

“Even before me?”

“Even then. You know I was only with one other man before you, and I topped then.”

“So he…this man…you topped him?”

Draco sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Do you really want to torture yourself by talking about it? I don’t even want to think about it, it makes me sick.”

“I guess not.” Harry bit his lip. “Did…was he good?”

“Damn it, Harry! I can’t do this with you! I’ve told you over and over that you are the only thing that matters to me. Nothing and no one compares to you.” Draco gripped Harry’s hand tightly. “I am dying to make love with you, but I won’t push. When you’re ready…let me know. Meanwhile, maybe you should take some Dreamless Sleep and get some rest.”

“That works for tonight, but I can’t drug the demons away forever, Draco.” Harry pulled his hand away and got out of bed. “I’m going to sleep in the guest room.”

“Harry –“ Draco reached out, panicked.

“It’s not – I’m not angry at you, Draco, I just…I need to be alone. I’ll see you in the morning.” Harry padded out of the room and closed the door quietly behind him.

Draco lay back down and extinguished the light. Curled up in a ball, he cried himself back to sleep.

**********

Harry was already at the breakfast table when Draco got up.

“Morning,” Draco said tentatively.

“Morning, baby.” Harry looked over and smiled warmly. “You going to kiss me, or just stand in the doorway all day?”

Relief washed over the blond. “Of course, sorry, love.” He walked to the table and bent to kiss Harry deeply. “Did you get more sleep?”

“Some. But sit down, Draco. We need to talk.”

The apprehension swirled back into Draco’s stomach. He sat.

“So…I haven’t talked to Ron and Hermione, you know, since we got back together.”

“Oh.” Draco looked at his hands. “I see. All right.”

“What?”

“No, I understand. You…they don’t like me, and…”

“Draco! Did you or did you not say you’d trust me if we tried again?” Harry grabbed Draco’s arm and shook it slightly. “Stop the insecurity, please!”

“I can’t help it! It destroyed me when you walked away from me, Harry! I can’t help it if I’m afraid you’re going to do it again.”

“Wha – I walked away from you?” Harry said incredulously. “That’s rich, Malfoy, considering I had just proposed to you and then found out you were fucking around on me. But it’s my fault?”

“I didn’t say that, damn you! But you didn’t really ask for an explanation, or- “

“What the fuck should I have done? ‘Oh, sorry, Draco…you say you took a man to our bed and fucked him? Well, there must be a good reason for it!’ Come on!”

“Yet here you are! You said you forgave me, but you keep bringing it up! And now you want to go see your friends so they can talk you out of being with me all over again.” Draco stood up, shaking. “Why are you here? You go back to your flat every day, you stay here at night but you won’t have sex with me, you…”

“I thought you wanted to be with me, Draco. Did I make an incorrect assumption?”

“I want you, Harry, but it won’t work if you’re going to keep throwing this shit in my face. I fucked up and I’ve apologized, over and over. If you say we can move on then we have to move on. I don’t know what else to do.” Draco dropped to his knees in front of Harry. “Help me, please. Tell me how to be what you want,” he pleaded.

Harry took a deep breath and ran a hand through Draco’s hair. “Draco…I’m sorry. It isn’t fair of me to keep bringing it up when we’ve agreed to move on. I guess…I guess I’m just not totally over it yet. And I think part of that is that I haven’t told my friends about us yet…and I haven’t confronted Ron. He hurt me, he hurt you. I can’t let it go.”

“All right…” Draco said slowly. “So, do you intend to remain friends with him?”

Harry’s eyes filled with pain. “I don’t see how we can, not after what he did. It hurts so much to know that he didn’t care about my happiness more than his own grudges. But it has to be done, and I think Hermione needs to know what he did, since he included her in the lie. And that’s what I wanted to talk about. I…would you let me see your talk with him in the Pensieve?”

Draco stood slowly. “You don’t believe what I told you?”

“I do, Draco, I swear it. But I need to see it for myself. I’m going to have lunch with them today, and I want the scene fresh in my own mind when I go.”

Draco sighed. “All right.”

“And maybe…when I am in there, and I can feel your pain…it might help me understand why all of this happened a little more. I need this so I can move on.”

“Whatever you need, Harry,” Draco said softly. “It will hurt you to watch it, but…”

“I’m already hurt. It’s important to me. I’m going to shower and get dressed, and then can we do it?”

“I’ll get the Pensieve out.”

**********

“I’m ready.”

Draco nodded. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, Draco.”

Draco sighed and closed his eyes. After remembering that morning with a grimace, he put his wand to his temple and drew out the memory, then deposited it into the bowl.

Harry touched his arm. “Thank you.” He took a deep breath and leaned in.

Harry was standing in front of King’s Jewelers, the third store he’d dragged Hermione to. Beside him, Draco was looking forlornly through the large window. Harry followed his eyes to see himself turn and present an open ring box to Hermione. His friend took the ring from the box and looked at it, then threw her arms around him. He kissed her cheek and hugged her back.

Harry had to admit, it did look a bit incriminating.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Ferret Face,” a familiar voice drawled.

Harry and Draco turned to look at Ron. “What the hell are you doing here, Weaselbee?”

“Meeting Harry and Hermione, not that it’s any of your business. I see you witnessed that little scene.”

“So?” Draco sneered.

“So, even though I can’t stand you, it’s a rough way to find out.”

“Find out what?”

“About Harry and Hermione, of course. They were meeting up to pick out her engagement ring. He’s finally decided to marry her. They’ve loved each other for years, even though they denied it…that’s why I broke up with her. I couldn’t take knowing I was her second choice.”

“That’s not true,” Draco said, and Harry winced at how small and afraid his voice sounded. “He’s in love with me.”

“Oh, sure, he felt something for you, I’ll admit. But it was always Hermione for him. What are you doing here, anyway? Did you know Harry would be here?”

“Harry’s going out of town for work this weekend. He…I thought he’d already left,” Draco mumbled.

“Hate to break it to you, but if he was going anywhere for work, I’d be going too, as I am his partner and all. They got a room at some bed and breakfast to celebrate the engagement.” Ron shook his head. “Hate to say it, but I wish he’d just stay with you. It’d hurt less than seeing my best mate marry the woman I love and have to pretend to be happy about it.”

“You’re – you’re lying.” Draco was sheet white.

“Wish I was. Now run along, won’t you? I have to act all excited about whatever ring they picked out, and I need to gear up.”

Draco walked away quickly, but not before Harry saw the tears forming in his eyes and the look of total devastation twisting his features. It broke his heart, and the final blow came when he looked back at Ron, whose face was the picture of smugness and glee.

Harry stumbled backwards, and Draco caught him.

“Seen all you needed to?” Draco asked quietly.

Harry shook his head. “He…how could he do this to me? It was just as you said.”

“So you didn’t believe me.” Draco let go of him, and he grabbed the blond’s arm.

“No, Draco, I did, but now when I see him I won’t be tempted to listen to whatever bullshit excuses he comes up with, because I’ve seen it first hand. He’s going to fucking pay for this,” Harry seethed.

“I’m sorry, Harry. I’ll put the Pensieve away.”

“Wait.”

Draco looked over at him.

“There’s one more thing I need to see.”

“Understanding the look on his face, Draco shook his head. “No, Harry, absolutely not. I’m not showing you that.”

“Please, Draco. I need to see it, I need to know. I have to deal with this.”

“Not like this! That’s just sadistic, Harry! I’m not going to show you a vision of me fucking someone else. You’ll never forgive me if you see it.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Baby, I…I was drunk, I don’t even remember the details, and I’d rather not. But I know that I would never want to see you fucking someone other than me.”

“So maybe later we’ll watch one of us. I wonder why we’ve never done that?” Harry mused. “Look, Draco, I have to do this. I have to see the full extent of the damage he caused, or I’ll just keep making up new scenarios in my dreams.”

“So you’d rather see the real one, and dream of that again and again?” Draco cried. “Harry…”

“Please, Draco. I need closure, and this…this is the only way.”

Draco looked away. “Fine, Harry. I just hope you can still stand to look at me when you’ve seen it.” He repeated his previous action and removed the memory, though it was hazy to him. He was almost tempted to watch it himself just so he would know just exactly what he did. That was solved for him when Harry grabbed him and pulled him along as he leaned in.

“Hey, there, cutie.” A dark-haired man leaned on the bar next to a rather drunk-looking Draco and smiled.

“Go ‘way,” Draco replied, not looking up.

“You don’t really mean that, do you?” the man said in mock hurt. “We haven’t even gotten the chance to talk yet, and I was hoping to buy you a drink.” He signaled for the bartender to refill Draco’s glass.

“Don’t feel like talking.”

“Well, I noticed that you are the best-looking bloke in this place, and yet you look so sad. Why so glum, with a gorgeous face like that?”

“Not gorgeous enough,” Draco mumbled. “Has to go off with that bloody Mudblood and lie to me about it, while I’m at home by myself…”

“Ah, lovers’ quarrel?” A predatory glint had entered the man’s eyes. “Tell me about it, handsome. I’m a very good listener.”

Draco heaved a sigh as he downed his new drink. “Said he loved me…now he’s gonna marry Gra-Ger…Mudblood,” he slurred. “D’know why he ever bothered with me anyway, he’s so good, and I’m just dirt.”

“Aw, honey,” the stranger cooed, raising a man to stroke Draco’s hair. Harry wanted to rip his hand off. “He’s no good for you if he doesn’t treat you like a prince.”

A tear rolled down Draco’s cheek. “He’s my whole life,” he said softly. “Only one who ever told me I could be anything. Only one who ever really loved me…I thought…”

“Why don’t we get out of here?” the man purred. “I can make you forget all about him.”

“Don’ wanna,” Draco mumbled. “Don’ want anyone else but him.”

“He doesn’t deserve you.”

Draco slid unsteadily off his stool. “’S right. He deserves better. D’ know why he bothers with me at all.”

“Well, at least help me see you home. You’re far too drunk to Apparate. Wouldn’t want to splinch that beautiful body of yours.” The man took Draco’s elbow and led him outside.

Harry and real-Draco followed them and were suddenly transported to their street as the man Apparated himself and memory-Draco.

“Which one is yours?” The man was asking.

Draco stumbled up to their flat and let himself in. The man followed Draco all the way into the bedroom and when he spoke it was clear that Draco had forgotten he was still there.

“Shall I get you anything? Another drink perhaps?” the man suggested.

Draco jumped. “Huh? Oh…no…you should go, I don’ wan’ Harry to get mad at me.”

“Well, you said he’s off with some other lover, did you not? I think that entitles you to have some…fun…of your own.” The stranger moved in and slid his hands down Draco’s chest. “Let me help you forget him, baby.”

“Noooo,” Draco moaned softly, his eyes squeezed shut. “Can’t, don’ wan’ anyone but my Harry…why doesn’t he love me anymore?”

The man pulled Draco’s shirt over his head and began undoing his trousers. “Shh, baby, forget him. He doesn’t know what he’s got. Merlin, you’re fucking beautiful.”

He pulled Draco’s trousers and pants down and began to stroke the blond’s softened penis. “Get hard for me, sexy.”

“Feels nice…where’s Harry? When’s he coming home to me?” Draco’s voice was pitiful, and Harry clenched his fists as he watched the stranger take Draco’s semi-erect cock into his mouth.

After a minute Draco was hard and the man wasted no time taking off his own clothing and using a quick lubrication and preparation spell on himself. “Come on, baby, I want you to fuck me. Get on the bed.” He crawled onto the bed and presented his arse to Draco.

“No, only wanna fuck my Harry!” Fat tears were beginning to roll down Draco’s face as he stood looking unsure beside the bed.

“You can pretend it’s him if you want, baby. But remember, he’s cheating on you…this will teach him a lesson.”

“Teach him a lesson, “Draco mumbled. “Will he stay with me? Will he love me again?”

“I’m sure he will, if you do this to show him what he’s losing…now come on, and fuck me, blondie.” The man’s voice was gaining a hard edge and Harry was seeing red. Real-Draco watched himself being manipulated in shock.

Memory-Draco crawled onto the bed and clumsily positioned himself behind the man. “I don’ know, I think Harry will be mad…”

“Harry deserves it!” the man hissed. “Now fuck me.”

Draco slid into the man, tears flowing faster as he began to thrust. In his drunken state he didn’t last long, and after a few thrusts he was sobbing and crying out Harry’s name. He pulled out of the man and huddled under the covers, crying softly.

“What a bloody pathetic fuck you are,” the man spat, angrily rolling off the bed and beginning to dress. “Lasted two fucking minutes, didn’t even get me off. No wonder your boyfriend doesn’t want you anymore.” With a crack he was gone and Draco’s sobs subsided as he passed out.

Harry and Draco grabbed each other to keep their balance as they were thrown backwards. Harry took one look at Draco and threw his arms around him. “Oh, baby,” he whispered. “Oh, gods, what did I do? You were right, what you said. I walked away from you without demanding an explanation, and you were manipulated by Ron and then taken advantage of by some arsehole, and I just left you. I just fucking left you.”

“Harry, you didn’t know. The fact remains, I cheated on you, and I couldn’t even remember the circumstances…just that I’d fucked someone. And I told you before that I didn’t even try to explain because I knew I deserved your hatred.” Draco buried his face in Harry’s neck.

“I never hated you. I could never hate you. And I don’t blame you anymore, not at all.”

“I still did it, Harry.”

“Yes, you did, but you saw as well as I did that you were taken advantage of, which never would have happened if Ron hadn’t fucked with your head.” Harry spat his friend’s name.

“I’m sorry, Harry, so sorry.”

Harry held him at arm’s length. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry we lost a whole year because of this. We’re never going to lose more time, I promise you.”

Draco nodded. “I hope not.”

“We won’t. Look, I have to go, but when I get back we have much left to discuss. All good things,” Harry promised.

“All right. Good luck, I…” Draco hesitated. “Never mind. Good luck.”

Harry cupped Draco’s face. “There is nothing in the world that either of them could say that would make me walk away from you. And I suspect that Ron will get an earful from Hermione once I’m done. I don’t care; I’m done with him.”

“Good. I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Not soon enough. I love you, baby.” Harry kissed Draco tenderly. “I have to make a Floo call before I leave, all right?”

**********

“Ron, Hermione.” Harry nodded at his friends as he walked into Hermione’s kitchen. She was putting plates of sandwiches and fruit on the table.

“Hey, Harry!” Ron said jovially. “I haven’t even talked to you in over two weeks! Ever since you transferred departments, I don’t even see you at work anymore.”

Good thing, Harry thought. He felt a rush of hurt and anger at he looked at his supposed best friend.

“How have you been, Harry?” Hermione asked.

“I’m good. Very, very good. I wanted to talk to you, and if you don’t mind, I’d like to do it now. I don’t think I can eat until everything’s been said.” Harry looked back at Ron, who just looked curious.

“Sure, Harry,” Hermione said and joined the two men at the table. “What’s going on?”

“Two weeks ago, on what would have been our anniversary, I saw Draco.” Harry watched his friends’ reactions. Hermione was frowning and Ron was scowling darkly.

“I hoped you spat in that git’s face,” Ron growled. “The cheating bastard.”

“Actually, we got to talking, and several things came to light. Did you know, Hermione, that Draco saw us in the jewelers’ buying his ring?” Harry directed the conversation at his female friend. She shook her head. “Yes, he did. He was outside, and he saw me give you a ring and then hug and kiss you.”

“That can’t have looked good,” she mused. “But –“

“Wait.” Harry held up a hand. “He saw that, and just about then someone came up to him and made up a story about how I was proposing to you because I’d loved you for years. He told Draco that I’d been cheating on him.”

“But…that’s not true.” Hermione looked confused. “And he believed this?”

“Yes. You see, my friends were never kind to Draco, even though I loved him. They always made sure he knew they thought he was dirt. He had no one left in his life but me, and he grew very insecure about himself. I had told him the Portkey to the conference was early instead of in the afternoon, so that I could shop for the ring with you, so he saw me and already thought I was lying to him, and then this person came along and made it worse. He told Draco I wasn’t going out of town, and that if I was he would have been going too – since he was my partner.” Harry turned to look at Ron, who was bright red.

“Ronald!” Hermione sounded shocked. “You did that? You lied to hurt Draco and Harry?”

“No!” Ron blustered. “Obviously the ferret is lying to get Harry to feel sorry for him.”

“I saw the memory in the Pensieve, Ron. I saw for myself exactly what you did. You fucked me over. You claimed to be my friend, and yet you deliberately hurt me.”

“Harry, that prat isn’t good enough for you!” Ron said desperately. “I only wanted you to find someone who deserves you, that’s all!”

“If you were a real friend, you would have simply been happy I was happy and accepted him. I never forced him on you, I never said you had to like him. I just expected you to be civil to him when we were all together, and I expected you to want me to be happy, for once in my life.” Harry shook his head. “You took away a whole year, Ron. For a whole year you saw how miserable I was, when I could have been with him.”

“But you were going to marry him! And he’s not fucking good enough for you!”

“Stop saying that, Ron!” Harry yelled, slamming his fist onto the table. “You say he’s not good enough, but he’s never tried to deliberately tried to hurt me! And I don’t want to hear a fucking word about the past. The past is the past. I told you when I started seeing Draco that I didn’t want to discuss the past. He was good to me, Ron, and good for me. I loved him and you took him from me.”

“He still cheated on you, didn’t he? I didn’t make him do that!” Ron argued.

“No. But I watched that memory too. Since you told him I was off with Hermione having a romantic weekend rather than working like he believed me to be, he went out and got very drunk. A bastard of a man met him and took advantage of him. He cried about me the whole time and the man convinced him I’d love him again if he ‘taught me a lesson’ by sleeping with him.” Harry shook his head. “He was so drunk, all he could remember was sleeping with someone. Then I proposed and he realized it was all a lie, and he was honest with me when he could have kept it from me, and he was so guilty he didn’t even try and defend himself.”

“Oh, Harry,” Hermione said softly. “I’m so sorry…”

“It isn’t your fault, ‘Mione. Unless you were in on Ron with this?” he looked at her suspiciously.

“She wasn’t,” Ron mumbled. “I saw him there, and it just came to me…I’m sorry, mate.”

“It’s too late for apologies, Ron.” Harry looked at him in sorrow. “I thought Draco betrayed me, but it pales in comparison to your betrayal.”

“But it’s all right now!” Ron said hopefully. “You’re back together…I could apologize to him…”

“It’s too late. I can’t have a friend who would treat me like that, and I won’t risk you hurting the man I love ever again.” Harry stood. “’Mione, I’m sorry, but I have to go.”

Hermione stood too as a tap sounded at the window. “All right…Harry, please, don’t shut me out.”

“I won’t. But you must promise to treat Draco better. He’s going to be in my life forever, if I have any say in it, and I want you two to get along.”

“I will, I promise.” She let the owl in, and it flew over to Ron.

“I’m really disappointed in you, Ron.” Harry shook his head at his former friend, who was still staring at him in shock as he took the letter from the owl. “Oh, and by the way…I made a Floo call to your mum and told her everything.”

As he was Apparating out, Harry smiled grimly as Molly Weasley’s voice rang through the flat.

“RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!!”

**********

“Draco?” Harry called. He had Apparated into the living room and saw no sign of his boyfriend.

“In the bedroom!”

Harry smiled and walked into the bedroom to find it…empty. “Where’s the bed?” he asked, confused.

Draco shrugged. “Burned it. Quick Incendio and then I cleaned up the mess.”

“Why did you do that?”

“Thought we could go pick out a new one today. A brand new one.” Draco smiled tentatively.

Harry looked at his lover tenderly. “I think that’s a great idea, but we’d better get going to pick one out.”

“The stores are open for awhile yet, we have time.”

“Maybe so, but there’s another stop I need to make, and I want to get that bed here today so that I can make love to you in it all night long.” He pulled Draco to him and kissed him deeply.

Draco smiled at his love. “You really want to?”

“I really, really want to. And I need to pack up my flat so I can move back in here, completely.”

“Let’s go, then.”

“Wait.” Harry tugged on his hand. “Let’s take care of the other stop first. I’ll take us.” He wrapped his arms around Draco and Apparated them away.

When they landed, Draco blinked and looked around. They were in the gazebo, just as they had been two weeks earlier. “Harry?”

Harry faced him and pulled the chain out from under Draco’s shirt, and lifted it over his head. “I want this to go right this time, Draco.” He took the ring off the chain and dropped to one knee in front of his love. “My love, my life…I never want to lose you again. You and I are meant to be together. May we never question who is good enough for who again, because the only truth is that we are at our best together.”

Draco smiled down at Harry as his eyes began to overflow.

“My Dragon, will you marry me?”

“Yes, my love, I will.” Draco allowed Harry to slide the ring on his finger before pulling him up and into his arms. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, forever.” Harry kissed him happily. “Now, off to get that new bed – I am dying to put it to good use!”

fin