Secret Admirer

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.


“I’m telling you, Harry, he’ll go for it. Everyone loves a bit of mystery.” Seamus studied the cloak Harry had given him. “These are really nice, too.”

“You think?” Harry looked the garment over, worrying his lip between his teeth. “And the note, it’s not too…I don’t know…”

“It’s not too anything. Too intriguing, maybe. Trust me. If I got that box, I’d be all over it.”

“It’s not too late? I mean, the ball’s tonight…I just didn’t know if I could go through with it.”

“Live a little, mate. You defeated You-Know-Who and saved the world and all, I think you deserve a bit of something for yourself.” Seamus patted his arm. “Listen, I’ll take the box to the dungeon for you, so you don’t risk being seen.”

“Thanks.” Harry smiled at him and bit his lip. “Can…can I ask you something? I don’t really know who else to ask, I mean, since you’re…and I’m…”

“Gay?” Seamus supplied with a laugh. “You’ll have to get used to saying it, Harry. Eventually you’re going to have to tell your other friends that you’ve discovered you fancy blokes.”

“I know, I will…sometime. You know how you and I, that one time, we…”

“Wanked each other off?” Seamus grinned. “I do remember.”

“Well, that’s pretty much the only thing I’ve done.”

“Really?” Seamus’ eyebrows shot upward. “I’d have figured, you know…”

It was Harry’s turn to finish the other boy’s sentence. “That being the great Harry Potter and all, I’d have been shagging like mad by now?”

“Frankly, yes.”

“I was a bit busy.” Harry folded the cloak and put it carefully back in the box. “And I’m sick of being the only remaining virgin up here. Especially when I have to listen to Ron going at it every time Hermione trusts him to put up the Silencing charm.”

“So you’re going to do it with him tonight? Your first time, like this?”

“Yes, I am. I don’t know if I’ll get the chance otherwise…he may never give me the time of day if he knows it’s me, but if I want to win him over with my body I need to know what the hell to do with it.” Harry gave Seamus a pleading look. “Please?”

“All right. Look, read this.” Seamus pulled a book out from under his mattress. “It’s got wizarding pictures, so it really shows you what to do. And here…” He took a small bottle from the drawer in his bedside table and handed both items to Harry. “Lube is key, and preparation.”

“Preparation?” Harry flipped through the book and gasped at one of the pictures. Seamus laughed.

“Yes, preparation. I mean…have you ever put anything up there before?”

“I – yes, a finger or two…” Harry looked uncomfortable.

“Well, a cock is bigger than a finger or two. Unless you’re a poor bastard with a pencil dick. Or if you have Hagrid’s fingers.”

Grimacing at the thought of Hagrid’s fingers up his arse, Harry shook his head. “OK, I see what you mean. So…with my fingers?”

“Yes. You plan to fuck him, or have him fuck you?”

“I don’t know!” Harry flushed. “I just…either is fine, so I thought I’d leave it up to him. Or just see how it goes.”

“Well, if you top, prepare him first. I know he’s not a virgin but I don’t know if he tops or bottoms, and you should do it every time anyway. If he tops, he should prepare you, unless he asks you to do yourself or something…it’ll all fall into place, Harry, you’ll see. Box?”

Harry laid the mask and note on top of the cloak and put the lid on the box, then handed it to his friend. “Thanks for everything, mate, really.”

“You’re quite welcome. If you have any questions after reading the book, catch me later, all right?”

“I will.” Harry settled down on his bed to read, and Seamus made his way to the dungeons.

*********

“Hey, kid!” Seamus called after a first year Slytherin who was about to enter his common room. He looked over his shoulder.

“What are you doing down here, Gryffindork?” he sneered.

“Big talk for an ickle firstie,” Seamus replied, towering over the younger boy.

“Well, what do you want?” The boy didn’t look quite so sure of himself anymore.

“I need you to take this to one of the seventh years. It’s imperative he gets it as soon as possible, he’ll need it for the Halloween Ball tonight.”

“Why should I?”

“Because chances are I’ll beat your skinny arse if you don’t.” Seamus leaned over menacingly. “But here’s a Galleon for your troubles.”

The boy grabbed the coin and the box. “Fine. Who’s this going to?”

“Knew you’d see it my way. It’s going to Blaise Zabini.”

**********

Benton Hardacre took the box directly to the seventh year dorms. He knocked, but no one answered, so he went inside and peered around. Sure enough, the room was empty. He wasn’t sure which bed was Blaise’s, nor did he care to waste time figuring it out, so he laid the box on the nearest bed. There was bound to be a note or something inside, and they could sort it out themselves.

**********

Draco Malfoy headed up to his room. It had been a long day, and all he really wanted to do was skip the stupid Halloween ball, especially since he knew he was in for an evening of Pansy wearing whatever slutty bit of nothing she’d be calling a costume this year while draping herself all over him. Yes, he’d taken the girl to that damned Yule Ball fourth year, and even indulged in a bit of kissing and groping. He supposed that he had her to thank for the realization he was gay, since that little debacle had nauseated him more than turned him on. Ironic then that she seemed to think she could “turn him straight” by thrusting her tits in his face at every opportunity.

He dropped his things on his bed and frowned – there was some sort of box. Must be from Mum, he mused. She’d owled that she would be sending some sort of costume for him to wear to the ball. He took the lid off, and picked up the note inside.


I have been watching you for awhile, and I would really like the chance to know you better – in every way. I’ll be at the Halloween Ball tonight, wearing a costume identical to the one I’ve sent for you. I hope you’ll wear yours, and I hope you’ll meet me in the Room of Requirement at 11:00 so that I can show you just how much I want you.

Yours,
Your secret admirer


Draco’s prick was responding with much interest as he read and reread the note. It had been awhile since he’d had anything but solo action, and he was definitely up for something. He pulled out the trousers, shirt, and cloak – obviously his admirer was a male, and how creative. And exciting. Suddenly the Ball seemed a lot more interesting.

**********

“You look great, Harry,” Seamus assured him.

“You sure?” Harry examined his reflection in the mirror. He was wearing tight black trousers and a slightly ruffled while silk shirt that Seamus assured him looked “poetic.” Swirled about his shoulders was a cloak that was black and shimmery. The hood of the cloak was fitted at the head so as not to reveal his telltale mop of unruly black hair. On his face was a glittery red eyemask.

“Gorgeous. As will Blaise be in his.” Harry had sent the boy he admired the same outfit, the only difference being the mask – he had chosen green for the Slytherin.

“He’s gorgeous in everything,” Harry replied absently.

“That he is. What is it with those Slytherins? Look at Blaise, and gods, Malfoy is perfection itself, don’t you think?”

“His appearance, maybe. I have to admit, he’s fucking beautiful, but you’d have to tape his mouth shut to enjoy being with him for any stretch of time.” Not to mention the fact that he'd never want me like I want him, Harry thought glumly. “Besides, we Gryffindors have a bit to offer too, eh?” He slung an arm around Seamus’ shoulders and grinned at him in the mirror, trying to appear more confident than he felt.

“Indeed we do, Harry me boy. You read the book?”

“I did.” Harry’s cheeks reddened at the memory of all the things he’d seen the little illustrations doing, things he’d never imagined.

“Got the lube?” Harry patted his pocket. “Good. And…you’re sure you want to go through with it?”

“Yes. I’m ready for this, and I would like to be with him. If he’ll have me.”

“He will if he has any brain cells. Shall we go, then, and embark on this night of mystery?” Seamus whirled around so the cape on his Muggle superhero costume would billow behind him. Harry shook his head with a grin, and followed him out.

**********

“Hey, Malfoy, this just came from your mother,” Blaise said upon entering the dorm. “Is that your costume? I haven’t got a clue what to wear.”

Draco preened in the mirror. His admirer did have good taste. He knew that when he added the cloak he’d look just like a romantic, mysterious hero of some sort. “Wear what’s in the box. I don’t know what it is, but Mum generally has good taste.”

“Why aren’t you wearing it?”

“If you must know,” Draco said dramatically, “I have an admirer, and he sent this along for me to wear. We’re meeting after.”

Blaise snorted. “An admirer? You?”

Hands on his hips, Draco whirled around to glare at Blaise. “And why not? Look at me, why would you not admire all this?”

“Because you’re a prissy bitch, that’s why. But hey, maybe you’ve finally found someone who gets into that sort of thing.”

“Didn’t seem to bother you.”

“Yeah, well, your mouth has some good uses other than talking.” Blaise shrugged. “Ancient history, my dear. Thanks for the costume. Hey, maybe your admirer is Potter, and you can make all your twisted dreams come true!”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Draco hissed.

“Oh, come off it. It’s not as though you’re good at hiding the fact that you want in his pants.”

“I do not! I – I hate him!” Draco sputtered.

“Used to, perhaps. Of course it was all unresolved sexual tension, at least on your part. Now you just want to fuck him.”

“You want to fuck him,” Draco blurted out, then mentally slapped himself for sounding like a moron.

Blaise laughed. “Nah. I’m sure he’d be good, but blonds are more my type. That’s why we always worked so well, cutie.” He slapped Draco’s arse as he walked out of the room.

“Dick,” Draco mumbled, and turned back to his reflection. “You look smashing,” he reassured himself, and moved a bit to get a glimpse of his behind, which looked amazing in those trousers, if he did say so himself. And he did.

**********
“Hey, Mate!” Ron shouted over the music. “Nice outfit, you can’t tell it’s you at all.”

“That was the idea. You make a good pirate.”

“Thanks! ‘Mione picked it out, she was just dying to be my wench.” He grinned.

“Arse.” The wench in question smacked her boyfriend’s arm hard. “Wow, Harry, you really are incognito tonight, aren’t you? I saw you by the punch bowl a minute ago, I had no idea it was you.”

“You did?” Harry glanced at Seamus, momentarily confused. They had just walked in and hadn’t gone for any refreshments yet.

“Yes…although I thought you were wearing a green mask, but it must have been the light. Anyway, you look good, and Seamus…you look quite silly.”

“If by silly you mean ready to fight crime, then yes, I do!” he replied with a subtle wink at Harry. Harry grinned back. Blaise was here, and wearing his costume! Only a matter of time, and he would finally lose his virginity, and to one of the best looking boys at Hogwarts. He glanced at his watch – the countdown was on.

**********

Draco nervously watched the time. The seconds were dragging by, partially because he was excited to find out who fancied him and to hopefully get laid, and also because he wanted to get the bloody hell away from Pansy, who had outdone herself with her costume choice this year. She was currently pretending ignore him, after getting pissed off when he’d pointed out that she was supposed to come in costume and therefore dressing like a two Sickle whore did not count. He wanted to smack Blaise, as Pansy hadn’t even recognized him until Zabini pointed him out.

Finally, it was a few minutes before eleven, and he excused himself from the group of Slytherins he was talking to. It was time to find out who the lucky man was that would get to spend the rest of the evening with him.

**********

Harry made it to about 10:30 before he had to leave or go mad. He paced in the hallway outside the Room of Requirement until the doorway appeared. Inside, he found a huge bed and candles floating in the air. Perfect.

He took the bottle of lube from his pocket and set it on the table beside the bed. As a last thought, he took his wand out and performed a simple voice modification spell, just to change his voice enough to not be easily identified. He was terrified that Blaise would take off if he discovered Harry’s identity, but he thought that maybe after the sex he’d be more likely to keep him around.

Harry looked toward the door suddenly – he’d heard noises in the hall. Wishing the door had a peephole, he headed toward the door and was pleased to find that one had appeared. He peered through and saw Blaise pacing in the hall – he had specified that he wanted a place for he and Blaise to be alone, so he’d assumed the door would appear for Blaise too. Perhaps he’s nervous, Harry thought. Merlin knows I am. It’s time to use some of that famed Gryffindor courage and take charge, so he thinks I might know what the hell I’m doing. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door.

“Hello,” he said, causing Blaise to spin around. “Come in.”

**********

“Come in.” His admirer stood in the doorway that had suddenly appeared.

Draco’s mouth dried up and he found himself unable to speak. The man had a body, whoever he was. He nodded and followed the cloaked man inside, and no sooner was the door shut than he found himself pressed against it and being devoured by his mystery lover.

“Mmm,” he moaned into the man’s mouth, which encouraged his partner to slide his tongue inside. Tongues battled for dominance and hands explored clothed chests and backs.

Draco broke the kiss to take a few deep breaths – somehow, searching for the back of the man’s throat with his tongue had seemed more important than breathing. Before he could suck in any air he found himself moaning loudly as his throat was attacked by clever lips and teeth.

“Fuck!” he croaked. His admirer had found a particularly sensitive spot on his neck and latched on. He closed his eyes and concentrated on the sensation of warm hands sliding beneath his shirt and exploring his back. The hands slid out again and unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders quickly, then resumed their previous exploration. His rough hands on Draco’s skin sent shocks of desire straight to Draco’s cock.

Draco thought he should return the favor, so he made fast work of the other man’s shirt and got his hands on the gorgeously muscled chest he’d uncovered. The man returned his mouth to Draco’s and captured his lips and tongue with ease. His calloused hands slid down the blond’s hairless chest and went to work on his belt.

Draco gasped. His mysterious lover was divesting him of his trousers and pants quickly, removing his shoes and socks along the way, and all Draco could do was dumbly lift each leg and allow himself to be undressed, until he was left standing wearing only his cloak and mask with his cock standing proudly above his naked balls. Draco had performed a shaving charm before dressing, as he liked the way his bits looked all bald and impressive. And tonight was a special occasion, so he had to look his best.

“You look so fucking edible,” his lover growled, startling him into looking down. A red mask was glittering in the candlelight, with shadows dancing over the rest of his face. Keeping Draco’s eye contact, he leaned forward and took Draco’s prick in his mouth, then fondled his hairless balls.

Draco simply moaned and worried that his legs would not be holding him up much longer.

**********

Harry sucked Blaise’s cock in earnest. He’d never done this, or had it done for him for that matter, but it didn’t seem too hard. From the groans coming from above, he figured he wasn’t terrible at it.

Blaise’s body was better than Harry had imagined. His skin seemed paler than he’d thought, but it was likely the flickering candlelight distorting the color. He was also thinner than he seemed but Harry knew firsthand that clothes could often mask a smaller body type. He was sure Blaise wasn’t wearing cast-offs from a fat arsed cousin, but still. He also had expected Blaise to have more body hair, since the boy was dark just like himself. His chest was hair-free, though, and his groin was cleanly shaved. Harry very nearly salivated at seeing the hairless area.

All in all, Blaise’s body was not what Harry had imagined, but it was incredible. His cock was impressive, and it tasted salty and somehow tangy. The precome was dripping steadily into Harry’s eager mouth. Harry massaged Blaise’s balls and slid his other hand around to stroke his arse, which earned him a throaty moan. Feeling bold at his lover’s reaction, Harry traced Blaise’s crack with his fingers before dipping one inside to search out the puckered opening.

At the simple touch, Blaise came with a shout. Harry struggled not to gag as his lover’s hips snapped forward, and worked to swallow the thick pulses of ejaculate in his mouth. He sucked every last drop out of the man before letting the softening cock slide from his lips. Looking up at his panting lover, he took a deep breath.

“I want to fuck you. Will you let me?”

**********

“I want to fuck you. Will you let me?”

Draco’s breath caught. He wanted to, so much, but he’d never fucked anyone before, let alone had anyone inside of him. It was true, he and Blaise had fooled around quite a bit in the past, but outside of a stray finger or two in his arse during a blow job he’d never come close. Yet, with this mysterious person, it somehow felt right. The man obviously wanted him, and Merlin knew Draco hadn’t been this turned on ever.

“Yes,” he whispered, holding out his hand to help his lover to his feet. The man stood and kissed him deeply, and Draco tasted his own musky, bitter flavor on his tongue. He allowed his lover to lead him to the bed and urge him onto his stomach.

Eyes closed, he listened to the sounds in the room. The sound of a belt buckle clinking open, rustling of fabric as the other man removed his trousers, the click of a bottle top which Draco assumed meant his lover was opening some lubricant. Sure enough, he felt slick fingers parting his cheeks moments later. A finger gently circled his entrance before pushing slowly inside. Draco’s breath hitched. He had enough experience with one finger, so it didn’t hurt, but it did surprise him – somehow it felt better than usual. A moment later the finger was withdrawn and a second joined it when it moved back inside.

Draco gasped at this; it was a bit uncomfortable at first, but with a slow scissoring motion the fingers began to probe him in a more interesting way – especially when his lover touched a spot inside him that made him, embarrassingly enough, squeal a little.

The man paused. “Like that?” His voice was low and seductive, and Draco could only nod in response. The fingers touched that spot again and again and Draco’s cock was rock hard as though he hadn’t just blown his load down this man’s throat minutes ago.

“Fuck…enough…inside me…” he gasped. His lover complied and removed his fingers from Draco’s loosened hole. Draco rolled over. “Please…I need to know who you are before we do this. Please.”

**********
“I need to know who you are before we do this. Please.”

Harry paused, kneeling between Blaise’s legs. What if he left? He sounded like he was having a good time, but what if it wasn’t good enough to let Harry Potter bugger him?

Still, he had no choice. It would feel like rape if he ignored his lover’s request before pushing into him. Slowly, he undid his cloak and let it fall to the floor, then he pulled off the mask and waited for the explosion.

“P-Potter?” His name was spoken in a choked whisper.

Harry nodded sadly, sure rejection was about to come. “It’s me. I thought you’d never let me near you if you knew…you Slytherins have always hated me.”

Blaise was silent for a moment, then he nodded slowly. “Fuck me.” His voice was still barely a whisper.

“I – you’re sure?” Harry’s eyes were wide and held a mixture of shock and hope.

Blaise nodded, and Harry stroked his hips. “Thank you, I – thank you.” He lifted his lover’s legs and positioned himself at the newly stretched opening. Slowly, he began to push inside.

Blaise gasped as Harry breached him. Harry continued sliding in slowly, inch by inch, until he was finally fully inside. “All right?” he panted.

“Give me…a minute…” Blaise’s voice was soft and strained, which must have been why the pitch seemed different than normal.

“I’m sorry, I – well…I haven’t done this before.”

“Me either.” Harry was surprised at Blaise’s quiet confession. “All right…move…”

Harry did, stroking in and out slowly, trying to control the urge to slam into Blaise as hard as possible. He knew that he wasn’t going to last long, surrounded by that tight, velvety heat, and he wanted to make it good for his lover. He angled his hips, trying to find that spot he’d happened upon when preparing Blaise, and at last he was rewarded with a loud moan. He began thrusting harder, aiming for that spot every time, and wrapped his hand around Blaise’s cock . He wanked the man in time to his thrusts and prayed he could last long enough to finish him off.

His prayers were answered when his lover cried out and jerked his hips upward, covering Harry’s hand and his own stomach with his come. His hole pulsed and squeezed Harry’s cock and the Gryffindor couldn’t hold back any longer. With a moan and a few hard thrusts he was filling his lover with his own hot release. As he thrust for the last time, he groaned his lover’s name. “Blaise!”

***********

“Blaise!

Draco froze and laid limply while Potter pulled out of him and collapsed beside him. “What did you say?”

“I just said your name. I’m so glad you came…I didn’t know if you’d want to be with me.” Harry looked at him shyly.

“How – how did you get the box into my room?” Draco’s mind was reeling.

“Seamus had one of your first years take it up for me.” Harry turned onto his side to look at him.

He never wanted me, Draco thought dumbly.

“Blaise? You OK?”

Slowly Draco undid the cloak and let it fall from his head, not looking at the man beside him. He heard the sharp intake of breath.

“Malfoy?”

Draco sat up and ripped off the mask. “Surprise, Potter.”

“What the fuck? You stole his box? You – you tricked me!” Harry’s face was turning an interesting shade of red.

“I tricked you? I didn’t know who you were!” Draco hurried to the door to get his clothes on.

“But it wasn’t for you! You had to have found out somehow, I don’t know how…you’re always trying to humiliate me!” Harry yelled, fumbling for his cloak to cover himself.

Draco looked at him sadly for a moment. “Not this time,” he said quietly. The door clicked shut behind him as he left.

**********

“What the fuck are you supposed to be?”

Seamus turned around and rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Zabini, you – wait, Zabini?”

Blaise raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

“What are you doing here? Where’d you get that costume?”

“I’m here for the same reason you are. I got the costume from Draco. Someone sent him one so he said I could have this one. Why the asinine questions?” Blaise frowned.

“Fuck!” Seamus exclaimed. “Draco got the box?”

“Some shite from a secret admirer or some such nonsense, yes…why, are you his admirer?” Blaise snickered. “No offense, Finnegan, but you aren’t really Draco’s type.”

“No, you idiot, that box was for you! And no, I didn’t send it. I gave it to a first year of yours to take up to your room.”

“Well, Draco found it on his bed. Wait, so I have a secret admirer? Not Draco?” Blaise grinned. “He’ll be pissed.”

“He’ll be more than that. Listen, my friend, the one who sent it, asked for you – or Draco, I guess, to meet him tonight, to seduce him. He didn’t think you’d want him, so he’s planning to stay disguised until afterward, in hopes the sex will…convince you.”

“Should be a nice surprise for Draco.”

“Not so much for H- my friend, though. He’s never done it before, and when Draco finds out it’s him…Draco will tear him a new one.”

“Oh, come on, it’ll be fine. He’ll still get to fuck someone, if they make it that far. Imagine Draco, though…I don’t know how he’ll feel about finding out that someone fucked him while wanting me instead.” Blaise frowned. “Come to think of it, this could be bad. Who is it? You have to tell me now.”

Seamus sighed. “It’s…it’s Harry.”

“WHAT!?” Blaise practically roared. “Potter? No, Finnegan, it can’t be.”

“It is.”

“We have to stop it. Now. Where are they?”

“Room of Requirement, but –“

“Look, Draco, he…look, he likes Potter, OK? I mean likes him. And I’m pretty sure he’s a virgin too. If he and Harry fuck before they reveal themselves, it’ll really hurt him to find out Potter never wanted him.” Blaise motioned for the door. “Now let’s go!”

They were out of breath by the time they reached the seventh floor, and as they entered the corridor they were nearly mowed down by a flushed blond. The two boys looked at each other.

“Too late,” Blaise said grimly.

**********

“I don’t get it!” Harry cried. “If he wanted to trick me, then why did he let me fuck him?”

“I’m telling you, Harry, I don’t think it was a trick. I think that idiot firstie left it in the wrong place or something. And you didn’t write Blaise’s name on the note or anything,” Seamus pointed out.

“I guess…” Harry paced anxiously. “Oh, Seamus…I saw his face when he left, he looked…”

“Hurt. Because he was. It wasn’t a trick, Harry, he got the box and thought it was for him. Imagine being all excited because you think someone likes you, and then meeting him and sleeping with him and finding out that he thought you were someone else the whole time.”

Harry sat down heavily and put his head in his hands. “What have I done?”

“Do you like him? At all? I know you have a thing for Blaise, but how disappointed are you that it was Draco?”

Harry was silent for a moment. “Honestly? I’m not. He was wonderful. And yes, I like him, but I don’t think he’d ever give me a chance, not with our history. So I thought I’d try for Blaise.”

“Harry.” Seamus laid a hand on his friend’s arm. “Blaise said Draco likes you.”

“What?”

“When we discovered what had happened, Blaise was worried about Draco because he likes you.”

“And I showed him who I was right before we…and so he thought I actually liked him back, and he let me…oh, gods, Seamus, what have I done? He’ll never forgive me.” Harry dropped his head back into his hands.

“Well, it wasn’t strictly your fault, but I think you owe him an apology.”

“He won’t want anything to do with me now!”

“Maybe not, but you still owe it to him.”

**********

Harry waited until Monday after lunch to try and approach Draco. Hovering in the Great Hall, he finally spotted a silvery blond head in the crowd.

“Malfoy!” Harry grabbed his arm.

“Get off me, Potter,” Draco spat, pulling his arm free.

“Please, Draco, please just let me talk to you,” he pleaded.

Draco looked startled for a moment at hearing his name from Potter’s mouth, but quickly fixed a sneer back in place. “Oh, but wouldn’t you rather talk to Blaise?”

“No, I wouldn’t. I only want to talk to you.”

Draco studied him, and then sighed. “Fine. You have two minutes.” He walked away, leaving Harry scrambling to follow him.

Inside an empty classroom, Draco crossed his arms and glared at Harry. “Well, Potter, let’s have it.”

Harry took a deep breath. “Look, I’m sorry, all right? I didn’t mean to hurt you. The box somehow got to you instead of Blaise, and I didn’t know it was you until the end.”

“That’s great. You can take your apology and shove it, because –“

“I like you,” Harry blurted out.

The room was silent as Draco tried to wrap his mind around that for a moment. “Fuck off, Potter. You think that because I let you shag me you have to profess some sort of love now? Forget it.”

“Damn it, Malfoy!” Harry was frustrated. “I have liked you for a really long time, OK? You stopped being so much of a prat finally, and I started noticing how you weren’t all pointy looking anymore…”

“Be still my heart!” Draco fluttered his lashes and spoke in a mocking tone. “You know I go all to pieces when you say such sweet things to me.”

“I mean it. I just…I never thought you’d give me a chance if I told you how I feel…I rather thought you’d laugh at me.”

“And since you couldn’t have me, you went after Blaise?”

“Pretty much.” Harry shrugged miserably. “He’s good looking – not as good as you,” he added hastily upon seeing Draco scowl, “and he reminds me of you, personality-wise. I’m so sorry, Draco, but you have to know that when I found out it was you…it was like my wish came true, you know? I don’t regret being with you, just that it hurt you.”

Draco frowned. “All right, fine,” he said quietly. “I’ll admit…I like you. And when I found out my secret admirer was you, and I thought you really wanted to be with me, I was excited. I’d kind of pictured you being my first…”

“Draco…”

“But you ruined it! You called out someone else’s name, because you wanted to be with someone else! I can’t forget that, and I can’t forgive you for ruining it.” His face was red, and Harry’s heart broke.

“I’m so sorry, Draco! But you’re wrong – I thought I was with someone else, but there’s no one I want as much as you. You have to believe me. I’m attracted to Blaise, but I really, really like you. And I can’t even think about him or anyone else now that I’ve made love to you. You’re all I want.” Harry took his hand. “Please, I’m sorry.”

“I believe you are.” Draco pulled his hand away. “But you never even tried for me. You assumed you knew how I would feel and didn’t even try. Then you pick someone else and make this big grand gesture for him, and I’m left feeling like a fucking consolation prize. Do you understand how that feels?”

“I…”

“I’m sorry, Potter, but I feel like I deserve more than that. I don’t want to be the big joke you and all your friends laugh at.”

“You aren’t! It isn’t something I would laugh at. You were my first, too, Draco. And I’m sorry I messed it up for you, but I would love to make it up to you. My friends don’t even know I’m gay, just Seamus, and he doesn’t think this is funny, either.”

“Your friends don’t know?”

“No, do yours?”

“Of course. It isn’t something to be ashamed of. But then you probably wouldn’t want your friends to know about me, anyway, would you? You’d be too ashamed of me. It would never work.” Draco shook his head. “I have to go. Please don’t talk to me again.”

Harry watched Draco walk out of the room, and as the door closed he frowned. “You want a grand gesture, Malfoy?” he muttered. “I’ll give you a grand gesture.”

**********

Harry picked at his dinner that night. “You all right there, mate?” Ron asked.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he lied.

“Are you sure, Harry?” Hermione asked. “You left the dance early and we’ve barely seen you all weekend.”

“That’s because you were looking for me under your sheets with Ron,” Harry mumbled.

“What?”

“Nothing, nothing. I’m fine, don’t worry about me.” He turned his attention to his meal and shot a small smile at Seamus when he patted Harry’s hand.

As people were finishing their meals, Harry took a deep breath. Now or never, he told himself. Standing on his chair, he cast Sonorous on himself, and his voice echoed across the Hall.

“Can I have everyone’s attention, please?”

The chatter died immediately and hundreds of faces turned to look up at Harry. He gulped. “Um, hi. I have some things I need to say. First, I want to announce that I’m…well, I’m gay.” There was a loud buzz as the students whispered furiously. He sought out Draco’s face at the Slytherin table, and found it carefully blank.

“I’m not ashamed of being gay. I think it’s fine, and I don’t care who knows about it. The most important thing I have to say, though…” He took a deep breath. “I’m in love with Draco Malfoy.”

The crowd erupted.

“Silence!” Dumbledore’s voice rang through the room, and he gave Harry a small smile.

“Thank you, Professor. Um, as I was saying, I love Draco. I know we never got along and I also know I don’t deserve him because I’ve hurt him, but I love him. I know he won’t forgive me or give me a chance, but I wanted to tell him, with all of you as my witnesses, that I love him and I’m sorry.” Harry looked straight at Draco as he spoke, and he saw the blond blinking rapidly. Blaise whispered to him and patted his back, and he stood and strode quickly from the hall.

Harry jumped from the chair and ran after him, leaving Seamus’ grinning face, Ron’s outraged face, and all the other stunned faces behind.

“Draco, wait!”

Draco whirled around. “What the fuck, Potter! You want to publicly humiliate me now?”

“I –“ Harry was suddenly very tired. “I wanted to give you a grand gesture, Draco. I wanted to…I don’t know. I’m sorry.” He turned to walk back to the tower. It was over, and he needed to leave Draco alone before he did further damage.

“I can’t believe you.”

Harry looked back slowly. “What?”

“I can’t believe you just outed yourself to the whole school like that.”

Harry faced him again. “I wanted to prove to you I do care. That I don’t want anyone else. And that I’m not ashamed of you.”

“I’d say you did that.” Draco paused, and smiled shyly. “No one has ever announced they were in love with me before.”

“I meant it.” Harry looked into his eyes. “I do love you, Draco.”

“No others you secretly fancy?”

“No one in the world for me but you.” Harry reached for Draco’s hand. “I’m glad it was you. It should have been you in the first place.”

“Damn right. But next time, I think we’ll change up who’s fucking who.” Draco grinned.

“Next time? So you’re giving me a chance then?” Harry’s grin lit up his face.

“Of course I am, you great prat. I doubt anyone would come near me now for fear you’d hurt them, seeing as how you lurve me.”

“Quiet, you.” Harry pulled Draco to him. “I love you, Draco.” He kissed the blond gently.

“I guess I love you too, Potter. But I’m still going to find that first year that fucked everything up and beat him to a pulp.”

“Really?” Harry smiled. “I rather thought I’d give him a raise.”

fin