Randomness
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,503
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,503
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Randomness
Randomness…
===============================================
Nose Job
“Does it hurt?”
“No”
“Was there a lot of blood?”
“No”
“Can I touch it?”
“No”
“Can I look at it?”
“No”
“Can I kiss it?”
“No”
“Can we talk about it?”
“No! What is it with you woman! Are you to keep asking questions until I finally give
in?”
“Yes. And I’ll keep asking until you say yes. So, can I think about what your nose will
look like when the surgeon takes off the bandage?”
“Yes.”
==================================================================================
The Baby
“Are you crying dear?”
“Yes”
“Why?”
“I’m tired, I have not eaten all day, I smell like vomit, my best robes have been
dirtied by that vermin, my mouth tastes like its urine, my potion is ruined from not
tending to it constantly, I have bad stomach cramps and to top it all off the bed smells like dung!”
“Stop being such a woman Severus, you are perfectly fine.”
“No I am not; I have not been properly clean in two days!”
“Why couldn’t you clean yourself when he was napping?”
“Because I was napping too!”
“Sometimes I think you’re the baby and not him.”
“I am a full grown man, not a baby.”
“Honestly Severus, you’re the one who created that de-aging potion for Dumbledore.”
“Well if he hadn’t taken the dosage he had taken, then he wouldn’t have turned himself into a two month old infant!”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buttering her muffin while she polishes my wand
“Hermione, can you help me?”
“With what Severus?”
“My wand?”
“What would you like me to do with it?”
“Polish it.”
“Polish it?”
“Yes polish it?”
“Right now? “
“Yes.”
“Then can you butter my muffin while I’m polishing your wand?”
“You want me to butter your muffin while you polish my wand?”
“Yes.”
“Severus, can you butter my muffin while Hermione polishes my wand?”
“No Albus.”
=========================================================================
The Hole
“You missed the hole again!”
“I’m sorry. I’m new at this.”
“Oh yes it’s hard to put that thing in my hole”
“It’s just, I’ve never had a woman ask me to do this to them”
“Well it’s simple really. All you have to do is stick the darned thing in the hole,
which is very visible to the naked eye.”
“But are you sure about it? I mean it looks like it might be too big for your tiny hole.”
“I am absolutely sure that it will fit.”
“You’re so tight Hermione! I don’t think that I can take it any longer!”
“Let me help you Severus!”
“No I can do it myself.”
“All you have to do is just put it in!”
“I think I finally have it.”
“Good. Now you know how to do it.”
“Never ask me to do it again!”
“Why Severus, I think you’re afraid of putting an earring on a woman!”
A/N: Hope you guys liked it!
===============================================
Nose Job
“Does it hurt?”
“No”
“Was there a lot of blood?”
“No”
“Can I touch it?”
“No”
“Can I look at it?”
“No”
“Can I kiss it?”
“No”
“Can we talk about it?”
“No! What is it with you woman! Are you to keep asking questions until I finally give
in?”
“Yes. And I’ll keep asking until you say yes. So, can I think about what your nose will
look like when the surgeon takes off the bandage?”
“Yes.”
==================================================================================
The Baby
“Are you crying dear?”
“Yes”
“Why?”
“I’m tired, I have not eaten all day, I smell like vomit, my best robes have been
dirtied by that vermin, my mouth tastes like its urine, my potion is ruined from not
tending to it constantly, I have bad stomach cramps and to top it all off the bed smells like dung!”
“Stop being such a woman Severus, you are perfectly fine.”
“No I am not; I have not been properly clean in two days!”
“Why couldn’t you clean yourself when he was napping?”
“Because I was napping too!”
“Sometimes I think you’re the baby and not him.”
“I am a full grown man, not a baby.”
“Honestly Severus, you’re the one who created that de-aging potion for Dumbledore.”
“Well if he hadn’t taken the dosage he had taken, then he wouldn’t have turned himself into a two month old infant!”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buttering her muffin while she polishes my wand
“Hermione, can you help me?”
“With what Severus?”
“My wand?”
“What would you like me to do with it?”
“Polish it.”
“Polish it?”
“Yes polish it?”
“Right now? “
“Yes.”
“Then can you butter my muffin while I’m polishing your wand?”
“You want me to butter your muffin while you polish my wand?”
“Yes.”
“Severus, can you butter my muffin while Hermione polishes my wand?”
“No Albus.”
=========================================================================
The Hole
“You missed the hole again!”
“I’m sorry. I’m new at this.”
“Oh yes it’s hard to put that thing in my hole”
“It’s just, I’ve never had a woman ask me to do this to them”
“Well it’s simple really. All you have to do is stick the darned thing in the hole,
which is very visible to the naked eye.”
“But are you sure about it? I mean it looks like it might be too big for your tiny hole.”
“I am absolutely sure that it will fit.”
“You’re so tight Hermione! I don’t think that I can take it any longer!”
“Let me help you Severus!”
“No I can do it myself.”
“All you have to do is just put it in!”
“I think I finally have it.”
“Good. Now you know how to do it.”
“Never ask me to do it again!”
“Why Severus, I think you’re afraid of putting an earring on a woman!”
A/N: Hope you guys liked it!