At This Moment

At This Moment
by: Cliobella

Song: At This Moment
Artist: Billy Vera & The Beaters
Year: 1981

Background: Set in Harry and company's seventh year, the war ending on Harry's birthday in July right before school started. For purposes of this story, it was a very short and uneventful battle involving the Trio, the Order and a couple Death Eaters. Bit anticlimactic, really; but there you go. No one but old Snake-face died, and the Wizard world is once again a happy and normal place. Relatively speaking, of course.


What did you think
I would do at this moment
When you're standing before me
With tears in your eyes
Trying to tell me
that you have found you another
and you just don't love me no more

"Don't do this, Hermione. Please."

"I'm not doing this to hurt you, Draco. Honestly, I'm not," she said, taking in his soft grey eyes, now filling with helpless tears. "You've never once told me I meant anything to you; but I thought I did. And then today...well," she trailed off, watching his fists clench tightly at his sides.

"I told you that was a mistake!" He exclaimed. "I didn't know you were there or I wouldn't have said it!"

"But you would have if you were certain I wasn't there. That is the whole point!"

"But.."

"I'm sorry, Draco. I can't be with you anymore. I just can't let myself love you anymore. It hurts too much. I want to be with someone who wants me - loves me - all the time. Not only when we're alone. Even when his friends are around. Someone who isn't ashamed of me, even if I am nothing but a 'filthy Mudblood'."

"Don't!" He yelled, the only color on his now pale face the bright spots of red on his checks clearly displaying his shame. "Don't say that! Don't say that word! Not now."

"Why not, Draco? You did," she took one last look at the boy she had first hated, and then loved for so long. "Goodbye, Draco."

She turned and walked away, not looking back even as she heard him yell for her, calling her name in desperation. She kept her head high as she walked across the grounds to the doors of the castle, the crisp, late fall air blowing her hair around her face. She wouldn't let him see her bow. See her tears.

Draco stood by the lake watching her walk away from him. He slowly sank to the ground, knees pulled up to his chest. He wrapped his arms around his legs and dropped his head to his knees. She was wrong, he wasn't ashamed of being with a Muggleborn. The truth of the matter was, he had never had a girlfriend before, not really. Oh, he knew what everyone thought. They thought he had gone all the way with Pansy Parkinson back in second year. He went along with it because Pansy wasn't ready to "come out" yet, and frankly, it hadn't hurt his feelings any to be called "The Slytherin Sex God." The rumors flowed from there. Sitting next to a girl for lunch in the Great Hall lead to speculation of a torrid affair in the Astronomy Tower. He knew that most of the girls his name was linked with just wanted to be associated with the Malfoy name, and weren't too terribly concerned with damaging their reputations in the process.

"Sex God my arse," he sighed with disgust. "Wonder what the rest of the school would say if they knew I was a virgin?"

Hermione knew. He wasn't sure exactly how, but she had known the stories were just that - stories. Draco fell onto his back, closing his eyes. He let his mind drift back a couple months to the beginning of the school year. She had been coming out of the library, rushing out the doors and they bumped into each other. The small bump led to the usual name calling and insults. Then, he called her a tramp. That shut her up. Sort of. She just looked at him and smirked. Smirked at him! Then she leaned over and patted his cheek, "I'm no more a tramp than you are, Draco." Then she walked away, leaving him standing in the hall staring after her, wondering what she meant by that.

Later that week, Draco was walking into the Great Hall with Crabbe and Goyle when Pansy walked up. Draco held the door for her, bowing as she walked past him. Crabbe made a comment about being a gentleman getting Draco whatever he wants from the ladies. Draco smirked at his friend, then he heard a small laugh. He looked over his shoulder to see Hermione Granger leaning against the wall. She gave him a knowing smirk and walked into the Great Hall, thru the door Draco still held open. He knew then that she was aware of the falsehood of his Sex God status. He just didn't know how she knew.

That was the beginning. The beginning of the knowing looks, the smirks and the outright laughter about his status as school stud. It happened in the Great Hall during meals, especially since the House tables had been replaced after the war by small round tables seating anywhere from 4 to 10 students. He would be eating his dinner and someone would ask about his and Pansy's "wild weekend" and before he could answer, he would hear her laugh. He never saw her intentionally approach his table; but she always seemed to be walking by at just the right time - or the wrong time depending on one's point of view. It happened in the corridors of the school. He would be walking with Pansy, usually holding her hand, sometimes with his arm around her shoulders. Granger would look pointedly at his hand, raise one brow - looking terrifyingly similar to his head of house - then smirk at him. It even happened in class. He would feel her eyes on him and when he looked at her, she didn't turn away. She always used to turn away, but now, she just looked at him like she could see something no one else could. Something that apparently amused her.

He had finally had enough and cornered her in the library. She was in the very back, looking at some obscure History of Magic texts. "Well, well, well. What's the matter, Granger?" He asked with a snide look. He felt it was always best to begin a confrontation by reminding the person you were confronting that they were inferior. "All alone on a Saturday night? Couldn't Pothead be bothered to take you into Hogsmeade for a butter beer?"

She placed her quill on the table and looked up at him, tilting her head slightly to one side. "Is that really what you want to talk to me about, Malfoy? My social calendar?"

"I couldn't care less what you do. Or who!" He said.

"At least one of us does something," she said with that damn smirk. Then, shrugging slightly, she turned back to her parchment and picked up her quill.

"What? What do you mean?" He demanded, or wanted to anyway. Somehow he just sounded petulant, even to his own ears. Great, he thought. I went from confrontation to whining like a first year in about 3 seconds. That had to be some kind of lame record. "Why do you keep laughing at me? Huh? Just tell me!" He groaned inwardly, why didn't he just stomp his little feet while he was at it? This just keeps getting better and better, he thought.

"I know, Malfoy. All about you." She stood up and grabbed her bag from the chair next to her. "All about Pansy." She stood right in front of him, meeting his stare with a cool stare of her own. "Slytherin Sex God." Then she gave him that little smirk, his eyes moving to her lips. "More like the Virgin Prince," she said softly.

"How? How did you know?" He couldn't believe it. No one knew!

"I share a room with Parvati. She talks in her sleep."

"What?" Now Draco was confused, as well as embarrassed. How in hell did the Patil girl figure in this?

Hermione rolled her eyes at Drano’s confused look. "Parvati and Pansy have been together since fourth year. I know that not only have you not scored with Pansy, you haven't even been to first base."

"What?" He squeeked. Perfect, he thought, now I'm a mouse.

"Baseball," she grinned. "It is a Muggle game. Nine innings, nine men on a side, playing on a diamond."

She reached up and gently patted Draco's red cheek, "Don't worry, Draco, your dirty - or should I say clean - little secret is safe with me. I won't tell."

She moved to walk past him; but he finally seemed to come out of whatever brain fog he was in. He grabbed her arm and spun her around to face him, backing her slowly towards the bookcase behind her. "So you won't tell? About my lack of um...baseball knowledge?"

She slowly shook her head, her eyes staring widely up at him as his eyes roamed her face. He couldn't believe he was just noticing how full her lips were, how soft her skin looked. His eyes moved back to hers. He stepped even closer to her, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, "How about teaching me the game then? What is this 'first base' thing?"

They had been together ever since. Quietly of course. The war may have been over; but there was still plenty of prejudice to go around. On both sides. Now she was leaving him. To find someone else.

What did you think
I would say at this moment
When I'm faced with the knowledge
That you just don't love me
Did you think I would curse you
Or say things to hurt you
'cause you just don't love me no more

He was walking past her table in the Great Hall a few weeks later. It seemed like an eternity to him, he figured he looked like shite. He knew he felt like it. But she was as beautiful as ever. She didn't seem to be losing the sleep he was. He slowed down as he walked by, he always did, hoping to hear her voice.

"When is he going to get here? How long will he stay?" Lavender asked Hermione.

"He should be here a week from Saturday. Durmstrang's winter break starts a week before ours but ends before ours does, so he will be here for about two and a half weeks," Hermione said.

"Have you thought about what you are wearing to the ball, Hermione?" asked Ginny. "We should ask McGonagall for a pass to go into London, to Diagon Alley, to shop for dresses!"

"Oh, and we could get our hair and nails done too!" chimed in Lavender.

"All that for me and Harry," Ron teased his girlfriend and sister, "or do you just have the hots for 'ol 'Vickie' like Mione?"

Vickie? Draco felt his stomach drop to the floor as realization set in. Victor Krum. Hermione's first real boyfriend was coming here. To see her. And worse, he would be going with her to the Yule Ball.

Even if she hadn't broken up with him, it was doubtful they would go together. Doubtful hell, it would have been impossible. If her friends hadn't hexed him into oblivion, his probably would. Now she would be going with Victor Krum. Krum. Professional Quidditch Seeker. Triwizard champion for Durmstrang. Tall, dark and handsome Krum. The bastard.

He looked at Hermione, more than a little shocked to see her looking at him as if she expected him to Avada her. He dropped his eyes and slowly walked on towards his table. His heart in pieces.

Did you think
I could hate you
Or raise my hands to you

Well, the Bulgarian Bastard was here. Draco heard a group of first and second years chattering excitedly about the famous man being in the castle. He was just going to stay in the dungeons, away from anyplace the Durmstrang Dickhead was likely to be. Draco headed towards Snape's office, to beg for a pass to his parents home for the next week - anything to avoid seeing her at the ball with the Arial Arsewipe. He heard the door to Snape's office open and looked up. Hermione and Krum were walking out of Snape's office. Draco stopped dead in the middle of the corridor. Krum and Hermione walked towards him. Krum, seeing the look Draco gave Hermione, brushed roughly against Draco's arm as they walked by him.

"Watch it!" Draco snarled to Krum, turning to face the two. Krum curled his lip and took a step toward Draco. Hermione looked at Draco, and he could almost feel her fear. Fear? Of him? Why would she fear him? He would never hurt her. Surely she knew that. Krum, on the other hand. Well, that was another story altogether.

"Mr. Malfoy." The three young people turned to the dark voice in the hall. Snape was walking to the group, black robes billowing behind. "I presume you are wanting to speak to me?"

"Yes, Professor. I was just going to your office," Draco said, still glaring at Krum.

"Then come along. I haven't got all day," Snape said, sweeping back down the hall.

Draco followed the Potions Master into the office and took the seat in front of the desk. Snape took a long look at his student and summoned a glass of pumpkin juice for the young man. Handing Draco the glass he said, "Mr. Malfoy, I am not exactly sure what your problem with Mr. Krum is; but whatever it is will have to end. He will be transferring to Hogwarts for the remainder of his studies and he will most likely be sorted into Slytherin House."

"What? That Muscle-bound Moron is going to be matriculating here?" Draco sputtered, face turning red.'

"Mr. Malfoy, while your use of alliteration is mildly amusing, you are expected to maintain a sense of decorum at all times." Snape looked at Draco and asked, "What were you coming to see me about?"

Draco looked up at his Professor, a blank look on his face. "What?" He asked. "Oh, um...I was wondering if the usual curfew was going to be in effect for the Yule Ball."

Snape looked at the young man, knowing full well that wasn't why the boy was coming to talk to him. "No, Mr. Malfoy. Curfew has been extended to one AM for seventh years. That time has not changed since the Headmaster made the announcement this morning at breakfast."

"Oh, uh...well. Thank you, Professor," Draco said as he stood. Professor Snape watched his student walk out of his office, thinking it might be worth watching the young man for a couple days. He wasn't sure exactly what was going thru the boy's mind; but he had a feeling it was something that was going to be unpleasant for someone.

I'd fall down on my knees
I'd kiss the ground that you walk on baby
If I could just hold you ... again

She looked beautiful. Draco's breath caught in his throat when she walked in the doors with her friends. The gold tinted gown made her whiskey eyes shine. Her smile lighting the room, fair skin glowing. He stood off to one side of the Great Hall watching the small group walk in, speaking to their classmates on their way to their table. Draco's eyes narrowed as he watched her laugh and dance. He wasn't sure he would make it thru the night. Crabbe and Goyle came over and tried to talk to him; but he just growled at them and sent them away. He sneered at the attempts of a few younger Slytherin girls to get him to dance. Finally, he could not stand it any longer. He watched as Krum led Hermione to the dance floor again as the band began playing another slow, romantic song. He walked over the couple and tapped Krum on the shoulder. Krum just gave him a dirty look and tightened his hold on Hermione, leading her in another turn.

That's it! Draco thought. He moved across the dance floor, following the couple, cold rage filling him. How dare that son of a bitch touch what was his! Snape, who had been watching Draco all evening, just waiting for the young man to lose his temper, began moving along the edge of the dance floor, hoping to stave off disaster. He didn't quite accomplish that. He watched as Draco tapped Krum's shoulder once again, saw Draco's right arm pull back as the Bulgarian seeker turned, staring as Draco's fist connected with the square jaw of the other young man.

"Mr. Malfoy!" Professor McGonagall yelled. "What in the world?"

Hermione stood in the middle of the dance floor staring at Draco. Draco took a step towards her, even as she took a step back. He fell to his knees in front of her.

"Hermione, I'm sorry. I was a fool. A stupid, arrogant fool. I don't deserve you. I know that. But I love you. And I'm not ashamed of that, not anymore," he said. He looked into her eyes, then looked around at the crowd that had assembled on the dance floor. "Do you all hear me?" he yelled. "I, Draco Malfoy, bigoted, pureblooded Slytherin bastard, love Hermione Granger, pure, Muggleborn Gryffindor angel."

"Mr. Malfoy, really!" Professor McGonagall exclaimed.

Draco came to his feet, once again taking a step to Hermione. This time she didn't back away from him. "Hermione, love, please give me another chance. I want you, no, I need you in my life. I will never hide my feeling about you again. I will shout my love for you from the rooftops. I will find a way to give you the stars in the sky if you will just love me again."

"Oh, Draco," Hermione closed the distance between them. "I never stopped loving you." He placed his hands on her cheeks, pulling her in for a slow, tender kiss.

"Hey!" Krum said, rising to his knees.

"Victor," Harry said shaking his head, "just stay down."

Draco eased back from Hermione and looked in her eyes. Then he noticed her mouth. That smirk was back. She leaned toward him and said, "What do you say we go to the astronomy tower and I tell you about 'homeruns' in baseball?"

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Thank you for reading. Reviews are always welcome and appreciated.

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At This Moment

What did you think
I would do at this moment
When you're standing before me
With tears in your eyes
Trying to tell me
that you have found you another
and you just don't love me no more

What did you think
I would say at this moment
When I'm faced with the knowledge
That you just don't love me
Did you think I would curse you
Or say things to hurt you
'cause you just don't love me no more

Did you think
I could hate you
Or raise my hands to you
Now come on you know me too well
How could I hurt you
when darling I love you
and you know
I'd never, never hurt you-oo-wo-oo...

What do you think
I would give at this moment
If you'd stay
I'd subtract twenty years from my life
I'd fall down on my knees
and kiss the ground that you walk on
If I could just hold you again

I'd fall down on my knees
I'd kiss the ground that you walk on baby
If I could just hold you

If I, could just hold you

If I, if I could just hold-hold you, again

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