You Left Me!

You left me!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the world around it, and I do not make any money from these writings.

I looked over at the body beside me. It hurt to see him.

He looked so peaceful, so calm. The complete opposite of what he portrays out of this room, or when he is alone with me. When it’s just us he is happy, kind, and proud. Not snobbish, but confident in the man he is.

But it hurts.

We have been meeting for the last two years in this room. At first it was to relieve the tension of our lives, the expectations placed on us, the rules and betrayals, and then the war.

It was always fierce, but he was always kind and gentle. After a while it became more to me, it became something that I yearned for outside of this room. I told him so, but he said it was too dangerous to everyone for us to be together. So I backed off, leaving it as a hope for the future after the war. The war came and went, ended a year ago today in fact, yet still he said no. “I just don’t know if I care about you that way. Don’t get me wrong,” he stated staring me in the eyes. “What we have is great. But I don’t know if I like you in that way.”

I cried, for a month I cried, yet still I came here whenever he made that motion for me. Still I let him use me, let him take me. Sometimes he would leave right after, other times he would stay and I would leave. I would need to cry again. Cry for the emptiness that my heart and soul shouted from. Crying from the truth that I was his whore.

But still I always came when he made that motion.

I found a friend, the first real friend I’ve truly had. She helped me move on. She helped me to stop crying, stopped the screams from being so loud. I knew that I was only hurting myself by staying here, so I can’t. Tomorrow is our graduation and I won’t see you anymore. That thought alone makes me feel more alone, especially knowing what I am going home too. But it also makes me relieved.

You talked tonight about continuing what we have, still “visit” one another. I didn’t give you a definite answer, but you didn’t notice. Just got straight to what you wanted. I wrote you a letter explaining why.

Headmistress McGonagall is letting me go home early, I don’t need to stay. I charm the letter to float above you, and went to get dressed.

Stealing one more look at you, I gave into temptation and kiss your forehead one last time, a tear falling down my cheek. Walking to the door I cast one last glance at you.

“Good bye Harry.”

I wrap my Slytherin cloak tight around me and walked to the gates of Hogwarts. I don’t notice some of the portraits looking at me with sad eyes, or Hagrid checking my escape off the grounds. I don’t notice McGonagall watching me from her tower office. I don’t want to notice, to look, and to think. I just want to leave, to leave you, to leave this place. I just want to go.

Upon reaching the gates apparated away to my home, it looks almost the same as when I last saw it. Scorch marks from the last battle still scar the side of the manor. The ministry said that someone will fix it.

All the dark objects had been removed, with my help. That was the deal. I help the Order and the ministries fight Voldemort and let them have all my dark objects, and they leave my inheritance alone including the title.

My father and Mother had died during the last battle, which was fine they were never my parents anyway. Effie and my Uncle raised me. I hope he visits soon. I walk up the steps to my home, realizing how quiet it is.

The door opens and Effie is standing there, “Welcome Home, Lord Malfoy.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I awoke from my slumber, and reached out to see if a warm body was still with me. Not finding anything I just lied back. Draco had asked me to continue this relationship openly, and I told him no. At first it was the war, but now… Now I don’t know what to think. I know that I don’t want to loose what we have and suggested meeting like this after we leave. I don’t remember his answer though. I have to scoff at what would happen if Ron found out.

Ron and the Weasleys had disowned George and Charlie for coming out as being gay. Fred had disowned himself right away claiming that if his twin was disowned so was he. What I had heard a lot of people thought that that was weird and considered unacceptable to do. It resulted in a fight between Ron and I and with that our friendship ended that day. That was about six months ago, and we still haven’t talked.

I couldn’t understand what they were thinking. The twins contacted me to ask me about a name change and I happily agreed. Remus still gets a kick out of it. The Three Marauder’s had a tap dancing wolf, grim, and deer on the front and in the corner you could see a snake and two foxes swaying as if to music.

I felt the sun on my face and regretfully opened my eyes. My eyes took a moment to clear, then focused on a letter floating in front of my face. I feel myself growing curious, does Draco want to meet tonight? I open the letter and feel my lungs stop working.

Harry,
I can’t do this anymore. I truly love you, but I can see that’s not an option for me. I was just the side dish to your platter. I know that you will more than likely marry a girl and settle down to have a massive amount of children. I can’t watch that. I can’t sit back and just wish that I were the one having your children.

I know that you don’t love me, and I have cried over it. I felt like a whore when you used me, knowing that nothing more could come of it. I know at the beginning that it was only a stress reliever, but I had feeling come into it. I wanted more and I told you, but I was brushed off. Yet I always came back.

I have let my tears drown me, but I can’t anymore. I have to stop everything. I can’t come to you anymore. I can’t let you use me anymore. I just can’t let myself dream only to have it shatter every morning.

Tonight was perfect, and I still dreamt that it was forever. But when I woke up I let my dream shatter again. I love you Harry, never doubt that. But I can’t be with someone who can’t or won’t or doesn’t love me. I am going to get over you and find someone who can. I hope you have a happy life.

All my love,
Draco

I read that letter over and over again. I could feel the world crumple beneath me. What have I done? I felt tears gather in my eyes and slide down my cheek, but I didn’t move to wipe them away. The words of the letter just kept whipping through my head. Pictures of Draco slide in as well. I knew he was upset about what I said, but I didn’t think he would leave.

I saw the sad Draco, after I told him no the second time. The worried Draco after I came in limping one night after training with Snape. The happy Draco when I gave him a small muggle watch for his birthday. The angry Draco from a fight we had in the halls. A smirking Draco, a confused Draco, a laughing Draco….

I must have been there for a while because a hand on my shoulder caused me to look up.

“Harry?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~********************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hermione had gotten worried after breakfast had come and went, and Harry hadn’t come in. She looked around and noticed Draco was gone. She knew of Harry and Draco’s relationship.

She had seen Harry leave a room and he accidently left the door opened, after a few moments hesitation she went in to find a crying Draco. She asked no questions but comforted him as best she could. Up until a few weeks ago she had spent a couple of hours every day comforting him. Draco looked calm in class, but after he would pull her into a room and breakdown in her arms.

Hermione finally dragged the story out of him, and tried to help him move on. She knew that if he moved on, that Harry would either fight for him, or move on as well. It would help both of them. Draco had said that he was going to end it today. She knew someone would need her, and she looked after both of them. She pulled out the map that Fred had given her and after finding Harry headed to the Room of Requirement.

Harry sat on the bed, the blankets covering his lower half, his face streaked in tears and clutching a letter. Hermione kept in the inner smirk she knew she was right. She reached out shaking Harry out of his trance. “Harry?” His eyes were blank when he looked at her. “What happened love?”

Harry wordlessly handed over the letter. Draco had told her this already, but she read it thoroughly not missing a word. She wordlessly handled it back to him. “So, is that what you really think of him?”

Harry snapped out of it, “GOD NO!”

“Then how do you feel about him?”

“I… I… I don’t know.” Hermione gave him a curious look. “I don’t know how I feel. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.” Harry buried his head in his hands.

“I can help you find out.” Harry’s head popped up and looked at her with such hope.

“Alright, I’m going to ask you a question. Answer as rapidly as you can. Understand?”

“Yes.”

“Does the world slip away when you’re with him?”

“Yes.”

“Do you look forward to the next time you see him?”

“Yes.”

“If someone else was seeing Draco would you be angry?”

“Yes” It came out as a growl.

“Jealous?”

“Yes.”

“Do you feel as if your heart has left your body and been trampled on by the whole of Hogwarts?”

“Yes.”

“Does your life make sense when you are with him?”

“Yes,” came the firm reply.

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.”

Harry sat speechless at his answer. Hermione smiled at his reply. “George used the same questioning method on me when I couldn’t figure out if I loved Fred. Harry honey?”

“I love him,” came the shocked reply. Hermione gave a small giggle. “My god, I love him.”

“So what are you going to do?”

Harry seemed to wake up to the reality of the situation. “Draco!” He spelled on his clothes, remembering that Hermione was in front of him. He ran out the door without a backward glance.

Hermione got up and headed to the Great Hall, Fred was going to meet her there soon.

Harry rushed down the stairs to the dungeons, rushing past Professor Snape who yelled at him. He stopped in front of the wall that opened to the Slytherin rooms. Looking at the portrait beside it he calmed himself down before addressing it. “Can you get Draco Malfoy for me please?”

“I am sorry, but Draco Malfoy is not here?”

“Then where is he?”

“I am not sure, young Lord.” Harry thanked the man in the portrait. Harry headed up to the Great Hall hoping to catch Draco at lunch.

Fred, Hermione, Remus, George, and Jordan sat waiting for Harry at the end of the Gryffindor table. Jordan and George had been in a relationship since the end of the war. Jordan had felt it was his fault that the Weasleys disowned George until George explained. It had little to do with the partner and all to do with the orientation. And Remus worked at the twin’s store when he wasn’t with his lover and mate.
Hermione had explained to them all that had happened and they were sitting back waiting for Draco.

Lunch came and went and Draco never showed. But Harry didn’t give up he started wandering the halls, asking everyone if they knew where Draco was. He looked for hours while his friends waited in the Gryffindor common room for him. They watched his trek on the map, they noticed that Draco Malfoy wasn’t anywhere on Hogwarts proper.

Hermione was getting annoyed it was half an hour to the graduation ceremony and Harry wasn’t dressed. Finally giving in she rushed down to the charms classroom where Harry was stationed and dragged him upstairs. “You have ten minutes to get changed for the ceremony.” She ordered him.

“Ceremony?” Harry questioned.

Hermione sighed loudly, “Yes, ceremony. You know, the graduation ceremony, the thing we have been working towards for the last seven years.”

Harry jumped up and ran to change, Draco had to be at the graduation.

Harry watched proud but distracted as Hermione went up to collect her diploma and valedictorian award. Draco should be here, yet his shocking blonde hair wasn’t seen.

When it came time for Draco’s award the headmistress skipped right over it. Harry went into shock. He had to be shoved by three people before he walked up to get his diploma. He didn’t notice the proud but sad eyes of his old head of house, or the louder than normal cheers of the audience. He didn’t even pay any mind to the cameras flashing in his direction. Draco wasn’t here it just didn’t matter.

Hermione closed in on him after the ceremony. He had walked off the stage and straight to the room of requirement. He didn’t want people closing in on him. He just wanted Draco. “Harry, what are you doing up here?”

“Something is wrong!” He replied never looking up from the bed he was sprawled across. “They skipped Draco’s name. Why would they do that?”

Hermione gently rubbed his back, “Why don’t you go ask Professor McGonagall! I’m sure she would know.”

Harry shot out of the room without a backward glance. He ran to the Great Hall where she was still greeting people. People started to swarm him, asking for autographs, dates, marriage, one-night stands, but he ignored them. Finally she was free and he rushed over to here, “Why did you skip Draco’s name?”

The older woman raised an eyebrow and cast a silencing charm around them, “Really Harry, when discussing someone’s personal matters it is always polite to -”

“Yes, I know and I’m sorry,” he cut in, “But why did you skip Draco’s name?”

“Mr. Malfoy left early to attend to personal matters.”

Harry understood then. Draco left to early to get away from him, to mend his broken heart. Harry didn’t pay any mind to the crowded room and sagged to the floor. The crowd seemed to try to fall on him, but he didn’t notice. Two arms picked him up and dragged him through a side door.

“Mr. Potter, can I ask what had gotten into the foolish head of yours?!”

Harry looked up into the dark eyes of his friend and mentor, though the other man wouldn’t agree to those titles. “He left me.” Harry whimpered.

Severus sighed, teenage hormones where really quite troublesome. “Yes, Mr. Potter, he did.” He wasn’t going to pretend he didn’t know what was going on as Draco had broken down to him last week. “But what did you expect?” Harry looked confused. “You wouldn’t admit to loving him, or ‘liking him in that way.’ You of all people know what that is like. So I ask again, what did you expect?”

Harry didn’t answer for a long time just stared, “I don’t know.” He looked at the floor. “I don’t know what I expected, but I want him back. I love him, Severus.”

Severus Snape sighed, “He has gone under the Fidelius, you will not be able to find him.”

“Are you his secret keeper?” Harry looked so hopeful. But Severus shook his head.

“But I know who is.” Harry was about to question it but Severus called out. “Effie!”

A small house elf wearing a crisp white tea towel appeared. “You called Master Snape?”

“How is Draco?” Severus questioned the small elf. She looked over questioningly at Harry, but Severus caught her gaze. “He is worried about him as well.”

“Master Draco is sad, he went up to bed last night and hasn’t left. He wondered if you might visit him soon.”

Severus nodded, “I will visit him tonight, please tell me the address.” Effie looked over at Harry and Severus waved his wand in that direction. Effie nodded when she saw a spell hit him. Harry listened as she said the address and watched as she popped away.

Harry went to say something but no sound came out. “I hit you with a silencing spell, elves know if a spell affecting sounds hit you.”

Harry nodded as Severus canceled the spell, “Thank you.”

Severus waved it off, “Listen here Potter, you make sure you are truthful and want what he does. I won’t see me godson hurt again because you’re unsure. If you do I swear I’ll use every curse in my arsenal. Remus’s godson or not.”

Harry nodded, “Don’t worry sir. I love him, there is no doubt about that.” Severus nodded and Harry ran out the door pushing several people aside and ran for the gates and then apparated to Malfoy manor.

It still looked a little worse for wear, but ignored it as he ran for the door and started banging on it. A small elf opened the door, ignoring the small creature and he took out his wand. “Point me Draco Malfoy.”

The wand went rigid in his palm and Harry took off up two flights of stairs and down three long hallways, finally he came to a large set of doors. The Malfoy crest was engraved in the middle of the two doors showing off its splendor. Harry opened the door quietly and saw the small shaking figure of his beloved. Walking calmly to the bed he sat on the edge and shakily ran his fingers through the blonde tresses.

Draco calmed down a little and paled at the sight of Harry. “What are you doing here?” His voice was raspy and croaked with emotion and tears.

“You left me.” Harry said, close to crying himself. “You left me, and I figured it out. I love you Draco, I can’t go on and get married because I want to marry you. I want to have children with you. It has to be you Draco.”

Draco closed his eyes this was too much. He pulled Harry down in the bed with him and curled into his side, and mumbled into his side “We need to talk. We have to work it out.”

Harry his arms tightly around him, “I know love and we will in the morning, get some sleep.”

“K.”

Morning came and Harry tightened his arms around the warm body in it as he woke, happy to feel the warmth of his love. He opened his eyes and saw gray orbs staring back at him. He smiled and felt the body cuddled in his arms relax a little. “Morning.”

Draco cocked his head a little. “We need to talk.”

Harry sighed and tightened his arms a little, “I know.”

“I won’t be a secret Harry. I deserve to be loved openly.”

“I would never ask that of you again. I love you I truly do. I’ll announce to the world that I love you, take out a seven-page ad in the paper. I thought my world had crumbled when you left. In fact I think that if you look at the Daily Prophet you’ll see some interesting pictures I’m sure.”

Draco gave him a small smile and cuddled deeper into his side. “So what do we do now?”

Harry smiled, “You agree to marry me so I don’t have to go through this again. Then you plan a large gallant affair to show off to the wizarding world in general. We invite our godfathers let them bicker like an old married couple. Then we have children, raise them as best we can, grow old gracefully, and die in each other’s arms.”

Draco looked up with tears in his eyes at his lover, “Ok, but we have to agree on the names.”

Harry nodded and smiled. Leaning down to kiss his love gently.

Severus smiled as he closed the door and looked at his mate. “Let’s go down stairs and wait in the library for them. And we can call Ms. Granger.”

Remus smiled and took his lover’s hand, “Actually it’s about to be Mrs. Fred, he proposed last night.”

“So what is their last name going to be?”

“I’m not sure. I was going to talk to Harry about adopting them into the family name.”

Severus sighed as he pulled Remus into his side, “Just what the world needs, more Potters.”

Thanks to the wonderful beta DragZ who helped me smooth it out. Remember to read and review.