The Last Battle

The Last Battle

* This story is post Deathly Hallows, but ignores the epilogue.

After the final battle, when Voldemort lay dead they had thought the future was indefinitely bright. Now, Ginny sat in a dark, musty alley, crowded with garbage bins that reeked of rotten bananas, but the heat they gave off was welcome and she leaned her weary body against it. Her bright red hair, hung in tangles against her tear stained face. The heavy make up she had put on earlier ran in rivulets down her cheeks and ruined the silken blouse that she wore. The sounds of New York City whirled around her as she dug into her purse and pulled out a bottle of pills. “Just one more, and I’ll feel okay,” she murmured to the air as she swallowed two white capsules.
Ginny looked down at her left hand and then dug into her purse again. She pulled out a small silver ring, her wedding band. She slipped it onto her finger, but only for a moment. As she pulled it off her finger tears wracked her body again. Her life with him, with Harry had promised her so much joy and yet she had ended up here, just four years after the final battle.

Two Years After the Final Battle

“Ginny, you can’t get married now! Look at me! I’m a whale!” A seven months pregnant Hermione protested, at Ginny’s announcement of her impending marriage.
“Hermione, Harry and I don’t want to wait any longer. After all we have been living together for year now, we might as well make it official.”
“But, why can’t you wait just a few months longer? Just give me three months.”
“Stop worrying, about how you are going to look, it’s my wedding everyone is suppose to be looking at me anyways.”
“OH MY GOD!” Hermione exclaimed causing everyone in the tiny coffee shop to turn and stare at them, “Ginny Weasley, you’re pregnant!”
“Shhh, Hermione you don’t need to make everyone look.”
“I’m right though aren’t I?”
“Yes, okay!” Ginny exclaimed angrily, but Hermione saw past to the giddy happiness in her friend eyes.
“This is so exciting! Our babies are going to be best friends!”
“Please, Hermione don’t tell anyone. Harry and I want to wait until after the wedding to tell everyone about our baby.”
“Don’t worry I won’t say a thing,” Hermione agreed amably as she sipped at her drink.

Nine Months Later

As Harry climbed the stairs to the flat that he and Ginny owned in London, he hoped that his wife had prepared a nice meat pie for dinner. Ginny was an excellent cook and her pies were the best. But, as he fiddled with his key in the lock he noticed that the usual tantalizing smells were not coming from the flat. Well, maybe she’s tired he thought to himself. After all she is nine months pregnant. A smile crept to his face as he thought about the anticipated birth of his son, James. Any day now, he thought any day.
“Ginny,” he called as he stepped into the apartment and sat down his bag by the door.
“Harry,” her voice murmured. Harry looked towards the bedroom door and saw an ashen Ginny leaning against the frame.
“What’s wrong?”
“He hasn’t been kicking.” Harry’s felt as if he had bitten by a hippogriff. As he strode across the room he knew something terrible had happened and that he would have to be strong for both of them. He picked Ginny up and held her against his chest before apparating to St. Mungo’s.
Arriving in the foyer of St. Mungo’s Harry quickly navigated his way to the Obstetrics unit. “My wife,” he began as the witch at the desk looked up at him, but she cut him off.
“Room twenty two, right there,” she pointed alarmed at Ginny’s condition, “It’s Potter right” she called after him. Harry nodded. A moment later Harry heard the name of the Healer Ginny had been seeing along with a few others being paged to their room.
“Harry, I’m scared.”
“It’s going to be okay. You are going to be okay,” Harry told her as he sat on the bed stroking her hair.

After the Healer’s arrived Harry had been asked to wait outside. Now he sat on the bench outside clenching and unclenching his hands. He was so afraid. More afraid then he had ever been any of the times he encountered Voldemort or the death eaters. This was so much more important; the lives of his family were at stake here, both Ginny and baby James.
“Mr. Potter,”
“Yes,” Harry jumped up eager for news.
“I’m sorry, but your son is dead. We are going to induce labor now and you can come be with your wife.”
“Is Ginny going to be alright?” Harry asked forcing himself to choke back the tears that had sprang to his eyes.
“Physically yes. She will be fine. She will be able to have more children, but emotionally this is very difficult for her and for you, I imagine.” Harry wiped the tears that ran down his cheeks. The sympathetic healer held her clipboard and looked down at the floor. He could feel that she was ashamed that she could do nothing more to help the hero of the wizarding world.
“How?” Harry choked out his throat dry and his nose running, “How, why did the baby die?”
“He was turning in the womb and the umbilical cord got wrapped around his neck. “
“Was there anything we could have done?”
“Mr. Potter you couldn’t have known.” Despite the Healers words Harry felt like they should have know. He should have called more often to check on Ginny and see how she was doing, he should have asked her more about the baby and about how she felt. He turned to go into the room. “One last thing more Potter.”
“Yes,” he said turning back to the Healer.
“It is very important that when the baby is born your wife holds it.” Harry nodded and went into the room.
Ginny lay on the bed she was curled on her side facing away from him, but he saw her hold body shake and knew she was crying.
“Ginny, my love, my darling, it’s going to be al right.” He whispered as he sat down beside her. Gently he rubbed her shoulders and back as her body continued to heave with the deep wracking sobs. He bent down to kiss her.
“What have I done,” he heard her murmur, “why me.” He engulfed her in a hug, he kissed the back of her neck, her cheek, her nose, but she didn’t respond to him. Ginny just stared off into the distance as her body heaved. Harry felt helpless.

It took seven hours of labor to bring the stillborn baby into the world it would never know. The only time Ginny had come out of her trance like state was long enough to refuse drugs for the pain. Harry knew she was in a lot of pain though. Her face contorted and she whimpered and grasped the bed sheets, but never screamed. Harry knew she was punishing herself.
After swaddling the baby in a blanket they had handed James to Harry. Remembering what the healer had said Harry walked over to Ginny and sat down beside her. He looked carefully at the baby. He was purplish blue color, but he was perfect. His little hands and arms were beautifully formed and the soft downy hair on his head was thick and black like Harry’s.
“Look, Ginny,” he began, “Look at our baby. Do you see how perfect he is?” Harry stopped to choke back tears. Holding the baby now made his death even harder than it had been the night before. Harry couldn’t help to think of all the things he would never get to do with this child. He would never get to hear him say dada or watch him crawl, ride a bike, got to Hogwarts. His mind whirled with the hugeness of this loss. “Please, Ginny, hold the baby,” he begged. His strength had left him and all he could do was sit there, beside his non responsive wife, holding their dead infant and he cried.

“Harry,” Harry looked up from his coffee to see Hermione, “Can I sit?” she asked indicating the chair across from him in the tiny food court of St. Mungos.
“Of course,” he responded wearily. He felt defeated. He had tried for two hours to get Ginny to hold the baby, but she just wouldn’t respond. He had left to let the Healers try, but they hadn’t seemed hopeful.
“I tried to see Ginny, but they told me family only. Not even Molly could get me in. How is she?”
“Bad. She won’t respond to anyone or anything. I don’t know what to do. I want to help her, but I don’t know how.” The tears flowed again and Harry buried his head in his hands.
“Oh, Harry.” Hermione came around the table and pulled him to her. With his head resting on her shoulder he cried his heart out. When he had nearly finished she handed him a tissue.
“Is Ron coming?” he asked straightening up.
“He’s going to come later, after I go home to feed Emma.” Harry nodded at the mention of his nearly nine-month-old goddaughter. “ We would have both come, but we would have had to bring Emma and I knew that wasn’t right.” Harry was glad for his friends good sense, for no matter how much he loved his goddaughter the sight of another person’s child was the last thing he needed right now.

Six Months Later

Trouble is her only friend and he’s back again.
Makes her body older than it really is.
She says it’s high time she went away,
No one’s got much to say in this town.
Trouble is the only way is down.
Down, down.

Ginny desperately searched through the drawers of her dresser. Where was her wand? She knew that Harry had put it there while she was in the hospital. “Ginny, what are you doing?” Her mother asked from the living room.
“Nothing.” Ginny replied quickly. She heard the footsteps of her mother coming towards the bedroom and slammed the dresser drawer shut before throwing herself onto the bed. She hated the prying. No one ever left her alone there was always someone wanting to know what she was doing, what she was thinking, and all she wanted was for the whole lot of them to disappear, especially her mother and Harry.
Two weeks after the death of her baby she had been released from St. Mungos on the condition that she came in weekly for counseling. A week later, Harry had come home to find her in bathtub with her arms slits from her wrists to her elbows. That had landed her two months in the St. Mungo’s psychiatric ward. Finally she had been released again, but now there was always someone there. Her mother had agreed to stay with her during the day so Harry could work and at night Harry watched her.
Ginny had become filled with hate for the people who had once been her friends and family. Now, all she only saw them as busybodies who couldn’t mind their own business. If she wanted to die that was her business not theirs and they should just leave her to it. She knew that her baby had died because of her, because of her ineptitude. If only she had paid more attention to the way he felt, the way he had kicked. She could have realized it sooner and her baby would have been saved, but no she had failed him. She had failed that little life that depended on her. She felt that she didn’t deserve to be alive any longer. She wanted to die; she wanted to be with her baby.
“Ginny,” her mother said entering the bedroom and pulling Ginny out her thoughts.
“What do you want?” She spat.
“I just thought that maybe you wanted some help, or some company. How about I make us a nice cup of tea?”
“You know what would be really nice?” Ginny said her voice sugary sweet. Molly perked up taking the bait.
“What dear? Anything you like.”
“It would be really nice,” Ginny began, “If you would just go away!” She ended with a growl.
“Ginivera Molly Weasley, I raised you better than this! Your friends and family have been trying to help you and all you can do is treat them with anger! It is high time you stop wallowing in self pity and pull yourself together!”
“Just fuck off!” Ginny yelled before turning and running into the bathroom and locking the door behind her. She crumpled to the floor and just lay there staring at nothing.

As strong as you were, tender you go.
I’m watching you breathing for the last time.
A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,
I know what it means and I’ll carry you home.
I’ll carry you home.

“Harry, dear, how are you?” Molly greeted the young man as he came into the apartment.
“About the same as always. How’s Ginny?” He asked before setting down his coat and collapsing into a nearby chair. Molly couldn’t help but to notice how think he had gotten and the deep circles under his eyes. He looked like a man in his forties not the twenty something he was. The ordeal with Ginny and the baby had taken a hard toll on him not just physically, but in his soul as well. He was tired. Tired of fighting she thought.
“She flew off the handle at me and then ran into the bathroom a couple of hours ago.”
“Thanks Molly. I can take it from here.” He said with a sigh as he pulled himself to his feet and pulled out the key to the bathroom.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then Harry.” Molly responded as she gathered her coat and headed to the fireplace. With a whoosh of green smoke she was gone.
“Ginny, I’m home.” Harry called out as he walked into the bedroom. “Are you going to come out or do I need to come in and get you.” Harry silently counted to ten before opening the door. His heart beat fast as he remembered the scene he had walked into several months ago. His heart slowed as he saw that there wasn’t any blood. Just Ginny staring into space.
Harry bent to pick her up. “No!” She screamed flailing her limbs.
“Shit!” Harry exclaimed as her fist came down on his nose with a crunch. Ginny ran from the room as Harry fought to gain control of the pain. He felt blood dripping down his face and he grabbed a cloth, before heading after her.
Ginny pulled the drawers from her dresser spilling the contents onto the floor. She got down on her hands and knees and rummaged through the contents. Searching desperately for her wand. Her hand grabbed on to it and she leaped up snapping it in two just as Harry entered.
“What did you do that for?”
“I’m not witch!”
“Why not?” Harry asked trying to be rational as he held the cloth to his nose.
“I’m not anything!”
“How can you not be anything? Ginny, you’re not making sense.”
“How can I be a part of this?”
“Of what?” Harry asked baffled by the red heads behavior.
“My baby isn’t a part of any of this. He’s not a wizard; he’s not a muggle. How can I be something he can’t?”
“Ginny, stop, please.”
“I can’t stop thinking of him,” she began I lump coming to her throat, “ he knows.”
“He knows what?”
“That I killed him.” Ginny looked Harry right in the eye. “Its my fault.” Harry walked over to her and placed his arm around her shoulder. For the first time she didn’t try to shrug him off or push him away.
“It’s not your fault. There was nothing we could have done. I don’t think he would want you to beat yourself up like this. I know you really loved him, Ginny and I know that he loved you too.” Harry watched as her shoulders began to heave and he wiped the tears from her cheeks. “I love you Ginny. I love you so much.” She sank back into him.
“I love you too, Harry.” She whispered through her tears.
“In a couple of years after we have gotten back to a routine, we can try again, for a baby.” The moment those words left his mouth he knew they were wrong. Ginny sprang from his arms and turned to look at him in horror.
“How could you even suggest that? You are horrible Harry James Potter, horrible! No child could ever replace him ever!”
“Ginny, that’s not what I meant!” Harry cried out desperate to get back to the place he had been only a few moments ago, when he had felt as if things might finally be okay again.
“I don’t care what you meant!” Ginny spat as she ran to the closet and grabbed a duffel bag. Harry watched horrified as she crammed clothing into the bag from the mess on the floor.
“What are you doing? Where are you going?”
“I’m leaving you! I hate you! I hate to look at you, I hate to hear you, and I hate to be anywhere near you!” With those final words Ginny walked out of the bedroom and out of the flat.

Six Months Later in New York City

If she had wings she would fly away,
And another day God will give her some.
Trouble is the only way is down.
Down, down.

In Six months Ginny had traveled around the world, trying to find a place where she would feel okay, a place where the memory of her baby wouldn’t haunt her, and a place where Harry and her family couldn’t find her. But no such place existed. Everywhere she had gone her pain went to, and in every child whether it was Indian, Chinese, American, Mexican, or African she saw her baby, and she knew that everywhere she went Harry would go too. She knew he loved her and that he would look for her, but she couldn’t love him. Not anymore. He reminded her too much of what she had lost, but then again everything reminded her of what she had lost.
Leaning against the dumpster Ginny stared up at the sky. The haze of the city lights blocked out the moon and the stars, but Ginny knew they were there. They were everywhere. She wondered what if would feel like to fly among them. To be weightless, would her soul stop aching then? She thought to herself that’s the only place I haven’t been. Maybe I’ll find peace there.
Ginny reached into her purse and pulled out the bottle of pills. She poured them into her hand, and from her hand to her mouth and swallowed. Then she leaned back to stare up at the sky again.

As strong as you were, tender you go.
I’m watching you breathing for the last time.
A song for your heart, but when it is quiet,
I know what it means and I’ll carry you home.
I’ll carry you home.

In the bar here caught the bartender’s attention. “Hey have you seen this girls at all?” he asked having to yell over the customers he were avidly watching a football game.
“Yeah, she was here tonight, but that was like an hour ago.” He responded. Harry’s heart sank. So close yet again. He also seemed to come close to finding her, but at the last moment she would slip away. Harry exited the bar and began to walk down the street, but stopped. He heard faint singing coming from somewhere nearby. Harry walked into the alley next to the bar. A huge dumpster filled with trash gave of a putrid stench, like a refrigerator that badly needed to be cleaned out. He walked a little bit further and then he saw her. Her red hair leaning against the dumpster.
“Hush little baby don’t you cry,” She sang as she rocked back and forth her eyes glazed over.
“Ginny, Ginny!” he called out getting down next to her. He pulled her head onto her lap and she looked up at him, but didn’t seem to see him at all. He felt for her pulse, it was racing, and her breathing was becoming ragged. “Ginny!” he cried out again shaking her. No response.
Harry reached for the cell phone he kept in his back pocket and quickly dialed 911. In his arms Ginny began to convulse. The operator picked up, “911, what’s your emergency?”
“My wife! Send help quick she’s convulsing!” Harry glanced around the alleyway and saw the little purse; He picked it up and quickly found the empty bottle of pills. “Shit, Ginny, no! How can you leave me? Don’t you know I need you?” he asked her as sobs racked his body and clung to her tightly.

And they were all born pretty in New York City tonight,
And someone’s little girl is taken from the world tonight,
Under the stars and stripes.

The sirens of an ambulance shrieked nearby, but Harry knew they were too late. With one last painful shudder the life left Ginny’s body. The hero of the Wizarding World had won many important battles, but in that moment he knew that he had lost the greatest battle of all.

As strong as you were, tender you go.
I’m watching you breathing for the last time.
A song for you heart, but when it is quiet,
I know what it means and I’ll carry you home.
I’ll carry you home.

*Carry You Home, Written by James Blunt and Max Martin