It's Not Over

Song: It's Not Over
Artist: Secondhand Serenade
Couple: SS/HP

SHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH


My tears run down like razorblades and no,
I'm not the one to blame: it's you or is it me?

I couldn’t stop crying…he treats me like a child. Like he thinks everyone treats me like a savior. Ok, well, they do here, but not at home. Fuck that. Hogwarts is my home, when I have to go stay with my ‘family’ everything changes…why can’t he see that? Why can’t I tell him…instead of crying every night about the insults he throws at me?

And all the words
we never say come out
and now we’re all ashamed.

Yeah…I don’t suggest yelling at a teacher…regardless of how much of a prick he’s being. It’s just not a good idea. He told me to go see the headmaster…so I did, and do you know what he did? He gave me candy and sent me on my way. It all started because he said I was just like my father…lazy, spineless, and absolutely useless. If I were any of those I wouldn’t be in my house now would I?

And there is no sense
In playing games,
when you done all you can do.

I’ve tried being nice…well, ok, maybe not nice, but at least civil. What else does he want from me? Because obviously I can’t give it to him, I’ve tried everything I could think of and he keeps taunting me…I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. He’s a teacher, I can’t retaliate.

But now it's over, it's over.
Why is it over?
We had the chance to make it.

When Dumbledore said he’d be starting my lessons again…I thought I’d give one more go at being civil to him. Talk like he’s a human…but no, he’s not human, he can’t be. No human…with the exception of my uncle, would ever be so heartless.

Now it's over,
It's over.
It can't be over.
I wish that I could take it back, but it's over.

“Get up Potter, you can do better than that. A first year could do better than that.” I was sitting on the ground, sweating, and completely drained, but he wanted to keep going.

“Then get a FUCKING FIRST YEAR TO DO IT! IT’S NOT LIKE I ASKED FOR THESE FUCKING LESSONS! WHY WOULD I WANT SOME LUNITIC CHASING AFTER ME ANYWAYS??? I WANT TO BE NORMAL!” I stopped abruptly and noticed that he hadn’t said anything…I shouldn’t of said that…oh Merlin, now I was sounding like Hagrid. “I mean…”

“Get out.” He was deathly calm, so I did exactly what he told me to…I didn’t want to stick around and see what would happen if I disobeyed him.

I lose myself in all these fights;
I lose my sense of wrong and right.
I cry, I cry.

So, here I am, lying on my bed in tears again. I wasn’t thinking when I yelled at him…I shouldn’t have ever let that slip. Everyone thinks that I’m fine being the savior…but I’m not…unfortunately now he knows that too.

I'm shaking from the pain that's in my head.
I just want to crawl into my bed
and throw away
The life I led.

My head is throbbing…it’s four in the morning? Oh fuck…I just want to stay here. By now the entire school is bound to know about my outburst…FUCK! Maybe I could say I’m sick…yeah right, everyone already knows so I might as well face them while I have a headache so I don’t get another one later.

But I won't let it die.
But I won't let it die.

No one has said anything. He didn’t tell anyone…well that was unexpected. I couldn’t look at him through Potions…but I was thankful he didn’t tell anyone. I just wish I knew why…probably holding it as blackmail material…fuck.


But it's over, it's over.
Why is it over?
We had the chance to make it.

He could have been so nice…he could have told me why he didn’t tell anyone. The figurative ball was in his court. It could have brought us somewhat closer, but he chose to ignore it. He told me not to bring it up again. That the conversation was over.

Now it's over, it's over.
It can't be over.
I wish that I could take it back.

I keep pushing him…I know, I’m going to get into trouble, I’m not stupid. He’s going to crack before I am, because I have to know why he kept it a secret…why I’m not hiding my face in shame. So I pushed him again today. Do you want to know what he did? Do you really want to know?


I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart.
Don't say this won’t last forever.

I’m not exactly sure how I didn’t move out of the way, because in all rights…I should have been able to. I mean, with my reflexes…I should have moved, though, I wasn’t going to back up and show him that I might actually be a little frightened of what he was going to do to me. I have a feeling he would be the only teacher to get away with actually hurting a student. I closed my eyes, he was too close. So close I could feel his breath on my face and his lips…FUCK!

You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart.
Don't tell that we will never be together.
We could be over and over, we could be forever.

Wow…I didn’t think I would ever enjoy being kissed…not by anyone, let alone my teacher, a man, or the fact that I thought he hated me. I couldn’t stop myself from kissing back, for a minute I couldn’t believe what was happening, but the longer it went on, the more my brain started asking why I hadn’t pissed him off sooner.

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart.
Don't say this won’t last forever.

My legs turned to mush and I suddenly was sitting on a desk. When had I moved? When had he moved me? He opened his mouth and I couldn’t keep thinking straight so I just stopped all together. I just kept kissing him, now with our tongues intertwined I started to pull him closer and feel inside that bloody robe he wore that hid everything from view.

You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart.
Don't tell that we will never be together.
We could be over and over, we could be forever.

He pulled away just as his robe slid off his shoulders and hit the floor. He wasn’t going to leave me…and we weren’t going back to how things were. Nope, not after a kiss like that, I wouldn’t let him. If he doesn’t want to keep me, that’s just too bad because I’m keeping him.

“Insolent brat. You’re an open book, ten points for not being aware at all times.”

“But how am I supposed to be aware when I can’t think straight-?”

“And fifty to you…if…you can show me exactly how you intend to ‘keep me.’” I hopped off the desk with a smile. This relationship just started and it wasn’t going to be over so quickly, and I was going to prove it to him. With his permission of course...I’m not stupid.

It's not over.
It's not over, it's never over,
unless you let it take you, it's not over,
It's not over, it's not over,
unless you let it break you.
It's not over.


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Yeah so it’s just supposed to be cute…nothing serious. Please review…I baked cookies for you.