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Changes
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Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
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4,451
Reviews:
7
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Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
4,451
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Changes
Title: Changes
Author: Irana
Giftee: Treewishes
Word Count: 10,306
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Warnings: Shifting POV's, drama, AU, smattering of UST and then the hawt mansecks
Disclaimer: No money is being made here. If it were, I'd be rich and blonde and British.
Summary: What if Snape's death was really a way for him to truly begin his life?
Author's Notes: Written for the 2007 exchange for who wanted: I like clever and subversive canon-compliance, and that definitely applies to the epilogue. I also love AUs that make odd sense and make you think. A gender change, either overt or covert, and what happens next, especially when it's reversed. And/or a change to a vampire/werewolf/veela/animal/hermaphrodite/etc, and how that affects our heroes as it takes its course. Happy ending a major plus. . Hope you enjoy it hon. This thing sort of grabbed hold and kept growing and growing and growing. I took a lot of creative license with my research and mixed in behaviors of domestic and wild animals as I needed for this story. Oh, and I skipped the epilogue entirely, hope you don't mind. Also, hunting of the sort shown in the beginning of this story is very strictly controlled in Europe, so please understand that I am taking creative license there.
Thanks so much and , for beta reading this monster. Many, many thanks to for her invaluable help, to for constantly allowing me to pick her brain. I couldn't have done it without all of you.
*~*~*
When Severus woke his first thought was 'Yes, apparently you do dream when you're dead'. His second was, 'I also apparently still breathe'. It took him several long minutes to realize that no, he wasn't dead and that yes, he really was breathing. He hadn't time to wonder at it, or at the blank spot in his mind as immediately following his last thought was a sense of danger that he immediately paid heed to. Every instinct in his body was screaming and every single piece of fur covering his flesh was standing on edge.
Fur?
Severus didn't have time to puzzle that out as the next sound that reached his ears was rather loud and sounded suspiciously like one of those bizarre hunting rifles his father had owned. The sound came once more and he was even more convinced of what it was. His body sprang into action immediately, following the scent of sulfur and gunpowder and human and fear.
Fear? Why do I smell fear?
He bounded through the brush and headed towards where the scent of fear was greatest and dropped into a crouch at the sound of approaching hooves. He forced his mind to ignore the mystery for right now and tilted his head to get a better view through the brush he was crouched behind. Deer. Stag specifically, two of them both running for their lives. It was from them the scent of fear emanated. Behind them were dogs and humans, mounted on horses, weapons raised and poised to fire.
Severus didn't even think, he simply leapt, causing one of the horses to rear and throw its human rider off. The other horse bolted, its rider holding on for dear life. Severus padded to the fallen human – nearly smirking when the horse ran off – and rested a large black paw on the man's chest. He meant to tell him to leave the deer be, but what came out instead was a roar that startled him as much as it apparently startled the human who wet himself. Severus blinked, stared at the man for a moment, and then loped off.
*~*~*
"Harry, have you heard?" Hermione asked as she pushed open the door of the room in Grimmauld Harry had taken to hiding in. It was – of all places – the library, a room Hermione was more than comfortable in. Not that Harry had allowed much of anyone access to the room since the end of the war and discovering Snape's body was nowhere to be found.
Harry looked up from the book he was reading on the effects of Naga venom – the family of snake he believed Nagini to have been descended from – and said, "Heard what?" His voice was sharp as he'd made a point of telling everyone he didn't want to be disturbed, but he did his best to soften the scowl he knew was on his face.
"There's been a beast – a cougar or panther of some kind - terrorizing the hunters in Cornwall. They're calling it the Beast of Bodmin," Hermione replied as she settled herself into a chair next to Harry.
"And I would have heard of this why?" asked Harry.
Hermione raised a brow and ignored his tone. "Because it's been protecting and defending every stag the hunters went after. Quite viciously at times as well. Also, it's been close enough to tear at the men, but aside from a paw in the chest has done them no damage."
Harry blinked. "That isn't normal is it? I mean, don't those sorts of animals normally kill deer? And humans?"
Hermione nodded. "They do. Which is why the hunters are so terrified of this one. It won't allow them near the deer, especially the stags, and they don't know what to make of it. It's gone all over the moors in Cornwall protecting the deer."
Harry fell silent after that, not quite certain what to make of the news. "Why tell me?" he finally asked.
Hermione arched an eyebrow then said quietly, "I know what you're doing Harry. You've been this way since Snape's body disappeared. If you're looking for a reason why, I thought this might be of interest, given what you've told me his Patronus was, and what yours is. This is an animal known for hunting deer, not protecting them. And it's apparently particular about the stags. It protects them first."
"How did you know?" Harry asked quietly.
"Harry," Hermione began gently, "I know how you feel about him, even if you don't. I know why things didn't work with Ginny. It's because she was never the one who held your attention. Of everyone, - even Malfoy – the only person you have always reacted strongest to was Severus Snape. If that weren't enough, there have been many times in the past where anyone would have expected you to seek Ginny out and you never did. Not when we first returned to Hogwarts, not after the battle, not when you discovered Snape's body was missing. You always came to us. Those weren't the actions of a person in love."
There was nothing he could say to that really, so Harry nodded and closed his book. Hermione knew him far too well for him to bother denying any of it, including the fact that he'd been searching for anything that would prove Snape might be alive, no matter how farfetched. He had to check this out, see what it was about. Even if only to prove to himself that it had nothing to do with Snape, that it was another in a series of false leads to the man's whereabouts. "I'll be gone for a few days," he said. "Tell everyone for me?'
Hermione nodded. "I thought you'd say that, so I've already told them you're gone."
Harry smiled gratefully and Disapparated.
*~*~*
Had anyone been looking at the huge panther standing in the brush at the edge of town they would have sworn the cat was smirking. Anyone who knew Severus Snape would have known that was exactly what he was doing. He'd managed to chase off yet another group of hunters – faster this time – and had put the fear of the Beast of Bodmin into them. It had looked as though they were specifically looking for him and hadn't been prepared when they found him.
Unlike his usual paw in the chest, this one had received harsher treatment as he'd nearly gotten the doe and young stag in the herd he protected, and a vision from his past had flashed before his eyes. His mind's eye had replayed the scene the night of Lily's death; Lily standing in front of Harry and utterly determined to protect her son.
He'd risen from his crouch in the grass with the speed and viciousness of a hunting wolf and knocked the hunter right from his horse; opening his jaw wide as he leaned close to the hunters face and roared – long and loud – before jumping clear when he saw movement at the corner of his eye.
One of the other hunters had gone for his weapon and attempted to shoot Severus. The next second he was flying through the air – looking for the entire world as though he had been pushed – and the rest of the men were scrambling to get away as fast as possible. Severus followed them to the edge of their village – just to be certain the threat was truly gone – before finally he turned and headed back to his new home, a satisfied look on his face.
*~*~*
Harry had been tracking the activities of the 'Beast of Bodmin' for well over a week now and he was certain the wildcat was Snape. What he couldn't quite figure out was how. So he'd left – being just as careful to conceal the evidence of his leaving as he had been of his presence – and found a safe place to Apparate back to the alley by Grimmauld.
The house was dark, so Harry made his way inside as quietly as he knew how, sneaked up the stairs and into his bedroom, only to stop short at seeing Hermione reading by candlelight in the chair next to his bed.
"Hermione, what are you doing here?" he whispered as he shed his robes and boots.
"Waiting to see what you've found out," she said quietly.
Knowing she wouldn't leave until she knew, Harry sighed and dropped gratefully unto his bed. Sleeping in the woods – even with a tent – wasn't his idea of a good time, especially not when he was hiding from Snape.
"I think it's him. I just don't understand how or why."
Hermione nodded. From what she'd read in reports of the beast, it acted nothing at all as it should regarding its natural prey. Nothing like a normal non-magical animal at least. She stood, gave Harry a gentle kiss on the cheek and said, "Get some sleep Harry. We can talk in the morning."
Harry nodded and smiled. By the time Hermione quietly closed his door he was already asleep.
*~*~*
When Harry ventured downstairs the next morning, everything was quiet. None of the usual morning sounds filled Grimmauld, and it was only after he'd made himself something to eat and ventured into the library that he realized it was well past noon. He wasn't at all surprised to Hermione at the table with books all around her, notes scratched on various pieces of parchment.
"Harry," she said when he sat down. "I've found the most unusual thing," she went on, shoving a book at him as well as several pieces of parchment. "There's a rare sort of magical were – originally from either India or South East Asia, no one's quite certain – that doesn't transform until after its first death. It's a bit like a magical failsafe, to keep their powers from manifesting too early or from being abused, it's not really clear," she began to explain before Harry could even read the notes she'd provided. "Basically, even though Nagini apparently killed Snape, what she did was to actually awaken that part of him."
Harry blinked. "What?"
"Nagini, if our research is correct, is descended of a being considered a god called the Naga. It's believed that the Naga are an ancient race of semi divine serpent creature beings first depicted in ancient Vedic Hindu mythology and oral folklore from at least 5000 B.C. According to this," she said as she tapped the book she'd pushed at Harry, "Nagas are said to take various forms. In many legends they are most often described as giant serpents with multiple heads or humanoid beings with the lower bodies of vast snakes. They were touted as extremely gifted shape-shifters, able to assume any appearance that suited their needs. It fits Harry, it all fits," she said excitedly.
Swept away in her enthusiasm, Harry began to read. According to the text, Nagas were children of Kadru, the granddaughter of the god Brahma, and her husband, Rishi or sage, Kasyapa, the son of Marichi. Kashyapa was said to have had by his twelve wives other diverse progeny including reptiles, large cats, birds, and all sorts of living beings. It was the reference to large cats that caught and held Harry's attention. It completely meshed with Hermione's theory, particularly given Snape's current form.
The text also went on to state that the Naga by nature were protectors and guardians, and were known to develop feelings of great intensity for certain humans that inspired tender feelings. Much like humans, Nagas were said to show wisdom and concern for others but also cowardice and injustice. Naga were associated with water and fluid energy, and also with persons having powerful animal-like qualities or an impressive animal with human qualities.
Those things all struck home to Harry as far as Severus was concerned, but what cinched it for him was the information found in the last few paragraphs on Nagas. The Naga were purported to separate into four different types; The Heavenly, the Divine, the Earthly and the Hidden. The first vigilantly warded the palaces of heaven, the second brought fertility to the world by summoning the life giving rains, and the third took it upon themselves to preserve the natural balance of the earth, whether it be mineral or animal, often protecting both from the hands of greedy humans.
Some of them were water-dwellers, living in rivers or the ocean; others were earth-dwellers, living in heavily forested areas or underground caverns. Female Nagas, were called Nagis or Naginis, often refusing to grant their true names to those that bound them against their will. They were said to carry the elixir of life and immortality, using their powerful jaws and poison to transfer their gift and powers to those they deemed worthy by causing what the Hindi called 'the first death'.
It fit. It all fit perfectly. Harry looked up at Hermione, unsure what his face was telegraphing.
Hermione reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "I know. It's a bit overwhelming isn't it? There's more," she warned, nodding at the books she still had in front of her, "mostly about how to approach someone that's been granted the naga's gift and helping them reconnect to their humanity, but I'll make notes and you can read them later."
Harry nodded gratefully, then stood and left the library. He wasn't certain where he was going, but he needed to think, and he didn't trust his room to give him the privacy he sought, particularly not once everyone had returned.
*~*~*
Severus dreamt of bright green eyes. Green eyes, a shock of black hair and a lightning shaped scar. Images played through his mind – memories – of the being with the emerald eyes. Often in danger, often with Severus coming to the rescue. The big panther twitched in its sleep and shimmered. When Severus awoke, he was once more a man.
He'd found his new form uncomfortable, and he'd stayed in the cave he claimed for himself. He didn't venture out for a full two days, and when he did, he was vastly dismayed to find that most of the herd he'd been protecting ran in terror at his appearance. He sighed, the sound odd to his ears, and wandered around until he found something he could eat in this form – first mostly as he was now too slow to catch what it was he craved – and then made his way back to his cave.
Each time he slept he dreamt of green eyes and black hair, and slowly a face began to form in his mind. It was someone he knew, he was certain of it, someone important. It wasn't until the third night when he slept once more that his dreams became disturbing enough to wake him. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was danger – not to him but to the face in his dreams – and it was a long time until he slept once more. The next time he awoke, he was once more covered in fur.
*~*~*
Harry didn't return to Grimmauld for two days. He'd gone to Spinner's End, wanting to be close to the essence of Severus, and had made his decision there. Severus protected the deer; he would return in his Animagus form – ironically enough, a serval – and hope that Severus didn't kill him before he could get close to him. Somehow, he doubted the panther that was Severus would take well to another male cat in his territory. He could only hope the fact that his animal form preferred a diet excluding large game such as deer would be a determining factor in his favour.
When he entered the house, it was completely empty, so he left a note for Hermione – charmed to open only at her touch – explaining what he planned to do and that he didn't know how long he'd be gone. Included in the note was a set of instructions, and a smaller sealed envelope. Satisfied with his preparations, he'd taken all the notes she'd left for him and returned to Spinner's End, where he spent the next three days studying them and committing them to memory. Once he was satisfied that he would remember it all if he needed it, he'd Apparated to Cornwall, changed into his animagus form and began haunting the area Severus had claimed for his own.
He didn't want to outright hack the other man off, so he took great care to not disturb any of the panther's scrapes, scratches or tracks. He did spray his scent in several areas – he wanted Severus to know he was there – and wasn't surprised when he went back the next day to see that Severus had added his scent slightly on top of Harry's. If he'd been able to grin, he would have done so. After several days of this, Harry finally made his way toward the place he believed to be Severus' lair, his heart a conflicted mass of hope, fear and anticipation.
*~*~*
Severus had found himself both annoyed and intrigued for the last four days. There was another cat about, one who had taken great care not to impinge on his territory. It was as though the other cat were merely announcing his presence; not attempting to take over. At first he'd worried over the safety of his herd, but none of them were missing, nor had they been attacked.
He wasn't certain what sort of feline this new presence was. He knew it was male from its scent, and likely not a big game eater. He knew from its behaviour it wasn't attempting to move in on his territory, more than likely just passing through. The thing that had Severus confused was the sense of knowing that he got from the scent. There was a familiarity he couldn't account for as he had no memory of meeting another wildcat. It was driving him mad.
When he scented the other cat near his lair he was almost grateful.
*~*~*
Harry approached Severus' lair cautiously. He didn't think he was up to being challenged by the other cat, especially since he hadn't really allowed himself to sleep. He stopped several feet from the mouth of the lair, close to a tree and waited.
Severus stepped carefully from his lair, emitting a low warning growl to the other cat. He stopped and observed the bold male who had not only entered his territory, but seemed inclined to stay. The cat was smaller than he was, with tawny fur and a white underbelly with solid black spots all over its body. Its tail was ringed in black and its ears and feet were most noticeable because of there length. Its eyes, however, were a vivid, familiar shade of green.
Harry watched as Severus regarded him and then began to stalk aggressively towards him. It was all he could do to fight his current form’s instincts and not drop into a defensive crouch and growl in return, but he managed.
The fact that the other feline hadn't responded in a defensive manner gave Severus pause. Clearly, the other male had no intent on fighting, or even posturing. Something in the green eyed cat struck that chord of familiarity once more and Severus gave a purr, and then turned for his lair; neither he nor his herd were in danger, he was sure of it. He had nearly entered the cave before he swung his head around to regard Harry with a look that clearly said, 'Are you coming or not?'
If Harry had been able, he'd have been grinning. Instead he simply followed Severus into the cave and settled down a reasonable distance away from him, then began to clean himself. He was tired, and filthy, and before long, he was fast asleep.
Despite his confidence the other cat posed no danger, Severus found himself keeping a cautious eye turned in its direction. When it fell asleep, Severus cautiously approached until he could sniff the other male, and then found himself licking at its head and ears, cleaning the spots it had missed.
Harry opened one eye lazily, gave a small purr of contentment, and went back to sleep.
Satisfied, Severus finished his self-appointed task, then settled close to the other cat and went to sleep. That night, Severus dreamed once more. His dreams were far more detailed than they had been, with many other figures that seemed familiar. There was a female with a mass of uncontrollable, curly brown hair, a redheaded male, and a thin, pointy nosed blond male. He twitched in his sleep, unintentionally shifting closer to warmth he could feel at his side, and then settled into a deeper sleep.
When Harry awoke, it was to find he was curled protectively against the nude form of Severus Snape. If he'd been in any other form, he would have flushed, and he found himself grateful he was still in serval form. Merlin only knew how his body would have reacted if he hadn't been. He sniffed his former professor, nudging at him gently, then rested his head on a paw so he could watch the man he'd been positive hadn't died sleep.
As Severus slept, Harry thought back to the days after the Battle of Hogwarts. He'd returned to the Shack with the intent of retrieving Snape's body, only to find it missing. He'd stood there for long moments in shock, attempting to wrap his brain around what he saw before him – a large patch of congealed blood, empty blood crusted robes and no corpse – before he'd run back to the castle to locate Ron and Hermione.
Neither of them had been able to think of a reason for Snape's robes to remain behind, while his body has disappeared, except that someone or something had taken it. Then, a full month later when Snape's portrait still hadn't appeared in the headmaster's office, Harry had been convinced that Snape was indeed still alive. He'd even argued with Ginny about it, and that had been the straw that broke the camels back for Harry. She'd been very clear about her hope that the 'greasy bastard was dead'.
Things had been strained between them before that, what with her constantly pressuring him about their relationship, and after all Harry had learned of Snape, it had been too much. He'd told her quite baldly that if she couldn't open her eyes to see the person and not just the attitude or reputation he doubted she knew who he was either, and he'd rather be alone for the rest of his life than with someone who cared more for his reputation than him.
Harry hadn't been able to explain to himself why he'd become so obsessed with finding the man, and it wasn't until that conversation with Hermione where she told him about the Beast of Bodmin that it occurred to Harry that he cared about Snape, and far more deeply than he'd suspected. He'd known he respected him after seeing his memories, had been grateful and stunned by how much Snape had sacrificed for him – even if it had been for his mother's sake – but he had no idea when all that had become love. Now he looked at the object of his affection and wondered if he'd ever have a chance to win the other man for himself.
His thoughts were interrupted as Snape groaned in his sleep, becoming more restless, and Harry transformed and stretched a gentle hand to pet Snape's hair as he muttered whatever words of comfort that came to mind. He lifted his hand and shifted away as Snape woke, watching the other man carefully.
Severus sat up slowly, a shiver wracking his body and started as he heard the soft sound of another's voice before something soft settled around his shoulders. Instinctively, he wrapped the cloak around him and scooted backwards, raising his eyes to meet shocking green. There was no way of describing what happened then; one moment Snape was looking into familiar green eyes and the next he gave a sharp cry and slumped to the floor. When he came to, Potter was bending over him, staring at him anxiously and he gasped as the last time he'd been this close to Potter flashed in his memory.
"I died," he said softly, voice rusty with disuse, black burning into the brilliant green he'd seen consistently in his dreams, eyes he'd last seen before this morning as he'd lay dying.
Harry conjured a glass, Apparated to the nearest water source, filled it, then Apparated back and handed it to Severus. "You did," he confirmed quietly.
Severus had been surprised by Potter's abrupt disappearance, but found himself grateful for the chance to pull himself together. "What happened?" he demanded once he'd swallowed half the water. "After I died?" He rather doubted Potter would have a clue, but on the off chance he did, Severus had to ask.
"That's rather a long story, Sir," Harry said respectfully, if tiredly. Suddenly his exhaustion seemed to have caught up with him; there had been many sleepless nights during his search for Severus, and one night of sleep out of four hadn't helped any. "Perhaps we could discuss this elsewhere?" he suggested. "After we've both had a bit of a rest and some food?"
Severus thought carefully, manfully ignoring the swirling mix of feline and human memories in his head. He had many questions, but doubtless his mind would be sharper – not to mention more organised – after proper rest and food. For the sound of Potter's voice he would hardly get anything further from the brat, however there was one thing he had to know. "The Dark Lord?"
"Dead," Harry replied flatly.
Severus blinked, and then smothered the spontaneous smile that wanted to claim his face and the overwhelming relief that flooded his body. He was free! He frowned as it occurred to him that being free of the Dark Lord did not equal freedom in general, and he looked suspiciously at Harry. "Why are you here? Come to take me to the Ministry?" he mocked.
"Actually Sir, even if I were to take you there, they'd hardly do more than require you to stand in a public ceremony while they awarded you the Order of Merlin. Your name has been cleared."
Severus regarded Potter suspiciously for several long moments before he finally nodded. "Where do you suggest we go? I have no wand, and I can hardly go about unclothed."
Harry flushed, looked about the cave and transfigured a pile of leaves into a set of robes, then stood. "I'll wait for you outside," he said quietly. "If you've no objections, I thought perhaps we'd go to Grimmauld." Harry waited long enough to see Snape nod, then stepped outside the cave. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief and turned as he heard soft footsteps approaching him. He held out his arm and said, "I'm afraid you'll need to hold on."
"I am well aware of that, Potter," Snape snapped. "I am not an imbecile."
Harry couldn't help but smile slightly at that, and nodded once more. "Hold on," he said as Snape took a firm hold of his arm and he Apparated them to the alley in London. They made their way silently inside, and Harry was grateful the house once more appeared to be empty save for Kreacher. "Would you like something to eat, or would you prefer to rest first?" he asked politely.
"Rest," Severus replied, eyes raking over Potter's features. "It is doubtful you will remain standing long enough to answer my questions, and I will have what passes for your full attention when next we speak.” That said, he turned with his usual flair and mounted the stairs, heading directly to the room he always used whenever he was forced to stay at Grimmauld.
Sighing quietly, Harry followed, closing the door of his room behind him with a small sigh. While he was elated that Snape seemed himself, he was far too tired to actually appreciate the fact the man was truly alive and as irascible as ever, and he was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.
*~*~*
The next morning found Severus awake and staring in some fascination at the clothing that had apparently been brought there with him in mind. He'd been surprised to discover several new robes in his old style in the wardrobe, including an exact replica of his dueling robes and a velvet lined box containing his wand. Dressed comfortably once more and feeling more secure in the knowledge he was armed, Severus ventured down to the kitchen in search of a spot of tea, and found Hermione Granger at table, with a dish of scones in front of her and a clean teacup and saucer sitting across from her.
"Good morning, Sir," she greeted. "Would you care for a cup of tea?"
Numbly, Severus nodded and sat down as Granger floated the empty cup to her place, poured, and floated it back to him, along with the saucer of milk and the bowl of sugar.
"I'm so very glad Harry found you , Sir," she said respectfully as he sent the dish of scones and an empty plate his way.
"How did you know I was here?" he asked.
"I didn't. I've been here every morning for an hour at breakfast time in case Harry returned." In the past, every time Harry had returned empty handed, he'd been despondent for days, though she didn't bother explaining that to Snape.
"How long have I been… away?" Severus asked, unable to make himself say the word 'dead' just then.
"Five months," she replied quietly as she took a sip of her tea.
"Pray enlighten me as to how this has come to be," he demanded.
"Perhaps Harry," Hermione began.
"Had I wished to suffer through a floundering recitation of the events after my demise, I would have required Potter to provide me with answers," Severus interrupted. "As I wish as concise a recounting as possible, you will give me the answers I seek."
Hermione ducked her head to hide the smile of relief on her lips. Whatever death had done to her former professor, he was no less himself, and she couldn't help but be pleased for Harry's sake. "Of course, Sir," she said, and immediately launched into her story from the moment they left him in the shack.
By the time she was done, Severus had consumed his tea and several scones – having forced himself to remain silent despite his wish to refute her on several points – and found himself filled with conflicting emotions where Harry Potter was concerned.
When he'd left his room for the kitchen this morning his intention had been to ponder the coalescing memories of being a predatory feline. Instead, he'd been given more to process, some of it quite shocking. The very idea that Potter had been the first to believe he was still alive, that Potter had gone back to the Shack to retrieve his body for burial left him reeling.
Even more shocking was the thoroughness with which the boy – no, he wasn't a boy any longer, was he? – the man had planned his retrieval. He'd left nothing to chance, had given Severus no means of escape from his presence save Spinner's End. Why had he gone to all that trouble? What could he possibly hope to gain? Regardless of how Severus looked at it in his mind, he could see no particular advantage for the other man, and it left him utterly puzzled.
"This has been most informative," Severus said as he stood. He gave Hermione a little bow and swept from the room, returning to the room he'd claimed for his use to consider the enigma that was Harry Potter. Clearly the boy had truly become a man, and despite hearing about his battle with the Dark Lord, Severus dearly wished he'd been around to see it.
Whatever else he may have thought left his mind with the knock on his door. "Yes?"
"It's me S.. er, Professor," came the voice of the very man he'd been thinking of.
"What is it, Potter?"
"Um, I'd like… may I come in?" Harry asked.
Sighing, Severus waved his wand and removed the ward he'd automatically cast behind him. The door swung open and Severus smirked at the younger man. "Did you plan to stand there or actually enter the room?" he taunted.
Flushing, Harry stepped inside the room and closed the door behind himself. "You'd mentioned questions," he said as neutrally as he could manage. Truth all told, he wasn't at all certain what Severus was likely to ask first, and he wasn't entirely sure he was prepared for the interrogation this was likely to turn into.
"Did you really arrange to purchase the land in Cornwall?" Severus asked immediately.
Of all the questions Harry had anticipated, that wasn't one of them. A sheepish smile pulled at his lips as he responded, "Heard about that, did you?" When Severus simply stared at him in lieu of an answer, Harry ran a hand through his already messy hair and nodded. "I did. It seemed the simplest way of protecting the animals you'd spent so much time caring for," he answered.
"Why?"
Harry gave him a look that Severus found himself unable to identify. "Would you have stayed if your deer were in danger?"
Unwilling to consider that Potter had that much knowledge of his character – despite whatever his memories may have revealed – Severus simply asked another question. "Where did the clothing in the wardrobe come from?" Granted, it wasn't what he'd meant to ask, but it would do, especially as it appeared to be another question Potter hadn't anticipated. He watched with interest as Potter's flush deepened.
"Um, I had them made. Er… once it occurred to me that you… well, I found your robes and…" He trailed off and turned away. "It seemed the thing to do. I couldn't imagine going through your personal items simply to find your clothing."
Severus regarded him in silence for long minutes before he finally asked, "Did you truly tell the Dark Lord that I had never been his?"
Harry nodded. It had felt… freeing… at the time, but now he couldn't imagine Severus to be pleased with him.
"May I see?" Severus found his mouth saying quite without his permission.
Harry nodded, then stood and left the room long enough to fetch his pensieve. He set it down on the dresser next to Severus once he returned and carefully pulled the memory of his battle with Voldemort from his ear, transferred it to the pensieve, then sat back to wait while Severus viewed it.
It was one thing to hear about Potter defeating the Dark Lord; it was another thing entirely to actually see it. He couldn't help but be impressed with the way Potter had handled the situation. It gave him an odd sense of connection to Potter, particularly the fact that they'd both died that day, and Severus found himself even more unsettled after he'd viewed the memory than he had been before.
"I suppose you'll want to tell people I'm alive," he said once he'd recovered a bit of his balance.
Harry shrugged. "That ought to be your decision I think." Frankly, he couldn't imagine Severus telling everyone that he'd survived because he wasn't entirely all human, especially since he hadn't exactly boasted about being a Half-blood, although the bit about Nagini finding him worthy of her might make up for that. Speaking of… "Do you know Nagini's real name? What it was I mean," he added. He felt sorry for the Naga actually. The fact that she hadn't told Voldemort her name clearly said she hadn't wanted to be bound to him.
Severus nodded. "A mass of s, h and t unpronounceable to anyone save a Parselmouth," he said in response. He was rather surprised that Potter didn't want the attention he'd no likely receive for locating Snape, but he acknowledged that very little of what he'd expected Potter to be like was actually correct.
Harry nodded. "Did you have any other questions?"
Severus raised a brow. "When I do you will be aware of it."
Harry stood, went to the pensieve, and retrieved his memories. "I still have your memories if you'd like them back," he said softly.
Severus looked at him in shock. He wasn't certain what he'd expected Potter to do with them, but he certainly hadn't expected he'd keep them. He nodded stiffly and turned away.
"I'll see you get them, then," Harry said, and slipped quietly from the room.
*~*~*
The next few weeks were interesting for all concerned. Ron came with Hermione to visit Harry one morning that first week for breakfast – Ginny behind them, having convinced them she wanted to see for herself that Harry was really alright – and froze at the sight of Snape sitting across from Harry having tea. Snape immediately assumed a protective stance in front of Harry when Ron stopped at the door. When Ginny stepped from around Ron, she also froze, but it was more the dangerous warning growl that came from Snape at her presence than the unhappy look on Harry's face.
Harry looked at Ron and Hermione and asked quietly, "Why is she here?"
Hermione looked at Ron who shrugged helplessly. "She said she wanted to see for herself that you were all right. Wouldn't leave it alone," Ron replied.
"I'm right here," Ginny replied testily. She shot an ugly look at Snape then asked Harry, "What's he doing here? I thought he was dead."
Harry tensed slightly before he stepped to stand next to Severus. "He's here because I wanted him here."
Ginny opened her mouth to protest and Severus growled once more; the sound was distinctly menacing this time. Harry placed a hand on Severus' arm and said coldly, "I think it's time you left, Ginny. You're not welcome here."
Hermione put a restraining hand on Ron's arm when he looked as though he were about to say something and said before he could speak, "We'll see her home, Harry." She'd spoken to Ron about how Harry felt about Snape as well as the argument Harry had had with Ginny, and while Ron had seemed to understand that Ginny had royally hacked Harry off, it was apparent he hadn't understood just how badly.
She snagged Ginny's arm and dragged her from the room, heading for the door, Ron nodding slowly at Harry before he'd followed. Harry sighed, turned to Severus and apologised, and wasn't at all surprised when the man returned to Spinner's End later that day.
Severus stayed away from a week before something drove him to seek Harry out once more. He wasn't certain what it was that compelled him to be near the other man – although he suspected it had a great deal to do with his feline instincts – so he purposefully avoided thinking about it while he was in Harry's presence. He also had no idea when Potter had become Harry, but he suspected it was shortly after that confrontation with the Weasely girl.
The first thing Harry noticed when Severus began visiting with him was that the man looked… well, cleaner. His hair was much less greasy – although it wasn't exactly full and bouncy – and his skin looked better. He even smelled a bit less like potions ingredients or the musty smell that had permeated Spinner's End and stuck in Harry's clothing. Research into his new state of existence was Severus' reason for returning.
With each successive visit, Harry noticed other things; things he was fairly certain Severus hadn't even realized he was doing. Every so often as they talked, Severus would rub his arm or leg against Harry's; if they were sharing a book or notes, Severus would butt up against Harry with his head when Harry found something helpful in much the same way a cat would do.
It all came to a head one night when Hermione fire called as they were sitting on the sofa in the sitting room and Harry turned to the fireplace at the sound of her gasped breath. Severus had been sitting with his head resting against Harry's occasionally butting him gently as they'd read from the same book on Naga gifts. From Hermione's vantage point, it had looked as though Harry were being nuzzled. The sound of her surprised gasp had brought Severus to an awareness of just what it was he'd been doing, and he'd said his goodbyes and left.
That had been three weeks ago, and Harry hadn't seen him since.
*~*~*
Right then, Harry thought. Enough is enough. If he won't come to me, then I'll just go to him. That decided, Harry headed for his room and his wardrobe, tossing clothing on the bed as he tried to decide what to wear. He'd never really paid attention to his clothes; Hermione had always pointed out things that looked good and he'd bought them, so he knew he at least matched and wore clothing that was in style, but generally, he just didn't think about it.
He couldn't afford to do that today; today he had to look good.
Harry hadn't expected Severus to stay gone so long. When the end of the first week had rolled around, he'd expected to see the other man within the next few days. He hadn't. Then he'd gotten a copy of the Prophet, and the headlines all had something to do with Severus Snape, the war hero who had returned from the dead. Once he'd seen that he'd figured he wouldn't see Severus until the end of the week at least.
The end of the week had arrived, but Severus hadn't.
Hermione had come by at the beginning of this past week and he'd found himself babbling to her about how much he missed Severus. He hadn't realized just how comfortable he'd grown to having Severus present in Grimmauld. He definitely hadn't realized how much he'd missed the touching.
Hermione had looked at him over the rim of her teacup and said, "You do know what he was doing, don't you?"
Harry had frowned and said, "Um, no." It hadn't occurred to him that Severus had been doing anything specific at all.
Hermione had sighed then said, "Sometimes I forget how thick you can be. He was marking you, Harry. All that arm and leg rubbing? It's just like a cat claiming his territory. He even growled at Ginny, for Merlin's sake. He didn't back down until you put your hand on his arm. That head butting/rubbing thing he did? That's called 'bunting'. It's a sign of affection." She shook her head. "Sometimes I think the only reason you managed to get together with Ginny was because she beat you over the head with how she felt for years."
Harry hadn't said anything; he hadn't been able to. It had never occurred to him that Severus might have felt anything at all for him… well, anything romantic in any case. He'd pretty much resigned himself to just having Severus' respect, and maybe his friendship, but Harry hadn't allowed himself to think past that.
Now though – at the end of the third Snape-less week – Harry was desperate. He hadn't been able to sleep properly, and everywhere he went, in everything that he did, he felt like he was missing something important. Harry missed the biting wit, the constant sarcasm, the way even when he said something nice, Severus did it in a back-handed manner.
He missed Severus Snape.
He had to see the man, and he had to make certain that this time, Severus stayed with him. Or he stayed with Severus. He wasn't particular which, so long as they ended up together. Finally he decided on a pair of black trousers he rarely wore that fit snugly across his arse when he moved, an emerald green silk shirt and a set of black robes with green embroidery on the edges. He looked at his reflection and flushed when the mirror whistled at him.
Looking at his hair and deciding that was as good as it was likely to get, he pulled on a heavy winter cloak and left Grimmauld.
*~*~*
Severus was going mad. He wanted – no needed - to see Harry, but his human instincts of self-preservation were battling his feline instincts for his mate. He snorted. Mate. How positively bestial of me. He sighed and went to pour himself a drink.
For all that he may want to deny it he knew exactly what Harry was to him, just as clearly as he knew the younger man would never feel the same.
Regardless of what respect Harry may have for him, feelings of friendship even if he was lucky, Harry would never see him as more than that. Certainly Harry had seemed to enjoy being touched by him, but he doubted Harry even knew what most of those touches – those actions – meant. It had been harder staying away from the other man than Severus had expected it to be, but he'd managed, and told himself he would continue to manage.
Lost in his own thoughts he started at the knock on his door. He took a second to check the wards and sighed, wondering if he simply ignored him, Harry - Potter, damn it - would go away. The knock came again and he stood to open it. Knowing the man on the other side of the door, he'd either keep knocking or find a way inside. Bowing to the inevitable, Severus opened the door and wordlessly stepped back. He felt relief wash through him just at the sight of Harry, and knew he had only been fooling himself into thinking he could continue to avoid him.
Harry stepped inside and was surprised at the difference. The house looked the same on the outside, but inside it was warmer, roomier and cleaner than it had been the last time he'd been there. All the dust was gone, the furniture was polished, the air smelled of outdoors and wood smoke and the furniture looked considerably less shabby. He grinned as it occurred to him that Severus' feline nature showed in more than just his actions towards Harry and his appearance.
Harry reached for the ties of his cloak and undid then, folding the cloak over the back of the nearest chair. He looked up in time to catch the fleeting look of need in Severus' eyes before he was masked by cool indifference, and he smothered the grin that wanted to take over his face.
"I suppose you'll be wanting tea as you've made yourself comfortable," Severus said as he moved away from the door he'd closed by reflex. "Do help yourself as I'm certain you know where everything is given the changes to my wards and the copious notes in Granger's hand I found littering my floor," he said as he seated himself in front of the fire, determined to ignore the way everything inside him screamed in protest, demanding he be closer to his mate.
"Not offering to serve a guest is bad manners, Severus," Harry said lightly, relaxing with the knowledge he wasn't about to be kicked out on his arse.
Severus raised a brow and lifted his glass from the small table he'd set it on. "Invited guests perhaps," he said as he took a sip, then added, "and I don't believe I requested your presence." Although I am quite grateful to have it, he thought.
"But you did invite me in when you opened the door," Harry countered, waving a hand to open the cupboard where he suspected Severus stored his alcohol before summoning a glass and moving to pour himself a brandy.
"Far be it from me to deny a modicum of hospitality to the most powerful wizard living," Severus responded as Harry took a seat once more. He injected as much resignation into his voice as he could muster and willfully ignored the pang he felt at the hurt that flashed across Harry's face before he ducked his head. It was for the best really. Harry couldn't possibly return his feelings, and there was no sense in torturing himself with what he couldn't have.
Harry took a healthy swig of his brandy, and then looked up at Severus with pleading eyes. "Don't do this," he said quietly.
Severus' brow climbed into his hairline as he forced himself to say, "Don't do what, exactly, Mr. Potter?"
"That," Harry replied. "That whole distancing yourself thing. You haven't called me Potter since the day you growled at Ginny."
It took everything in Severus not to hiss in displeasure at the mere mention of her name, but he managed. He opened his mouth to issue a scathing comment, only to be stopped before he could speak.
"Don't," Harry said. "I don't want to hear another word unless it's you explaining why you felt like you could rub your scent all over me, mark me, and then disappear for three weeks without so much as word."
That actually shocked Severus so much his mouth dropped open before he closed it with a snap. "I suppose Granger explained it to you," he snorted.
"I am capable of doing my own research, you know," Harry snapped. "Even if she hadn't pointed out what I was missing, it would have occurred to me eventually, or had you forgotten my Animagus form is a cat?"
Severus blinked and stood to refill his glass. He had forgotten that actually, although how he could have for even a moment was beyond him. "Transfiguring oneself into an animal that reasons is not the same thing as actually being one," Severus returned. "I would have expected even you to understand that."
Harry took a deep breath and told himself not to get angry. Not now. This was too important. "No, it isn't," Harry agreed. "But that's not to say that I don't have the instincts of a serval when I am one. You can't mark me as yours and then disappear without a word, Severus," he continued, bringing them back to the main subject.
"It was not a conscious decision on my part, and I am well aware that such an action is unwanted on your behalf," Severus bit out, voice tight.
"How do you know?" Harry challenged. "Did I say or do something to give you that impression? Did I object to you touching me? Did I give you any sign at all that attention from you was unwelcome?"
It occurred to Severus then that he hadn't seen anyone save Weasley and Granger within touching distance of Harry since he'd returned, except himself. In fact, even before he'd been forced to flee the school with Malfoy Harry had been very particular about who was allowed in his personal space. He couldn't remember a time before Nagini bit him that Harry had voluntarily shared space with him, yet Harry had been the one to find him; had in fact, searched for him, then once he'd found him had curled around him and offered his cloak to keep him warm, offered him the unconditional use of his home and sought him out more than once since then.
The significance of that was staggering.
Silence reigned for several minutes before Harry set his glass down and stood. "If you've changed your mind, if you don't want me, all you had to do was say so," he said quietly as he picked up his cloak. "I've gotten used to not getting what I want, but I'd thought at least I had your friendship. I wouldn't have asked for more," he continued as he pulled his cloak on, damning himself for ever thinking Severus – Snape – would want any sort of intimate relationship with him.
Harry had made it nearly to the door before the fact that he was leaving filtered into Severus' brain. Severus moved quickly, grabbed Harry's arm and spun him around. "Just where do you think you're going?" he demanded silkily.
The possessive tone shot straight to Harry's groin and he felt himself twitch in his trousers. "Severus?" he asked softly, hoping desperately he wasn't misreading things.
"Did you truly believe I would allow you to leave? After you came to me?" If there was even the slightest chance that Harry meant what he'd implied with his last statements – that he'd wanted more and wouldn't have asked because he'd believed Severus hadn't wanted anything of the sort from him – there was absolutely no conceivable way Harry would be going anywhere without him at his side.
Harry allowed a slow, sensual smile to spread across his lips. He may not have much experience at this sort of thing, but he wasn't a complete novice. "Planning to keep me?" he asked, voice low, eyes locked on Severus' face.
"Be very certain you wish to do this, Harry," Severus warned, the name almost a purr on his lips. "I do not easily relinquish what I have claimed as my own."
Harry wrapped his arms around Severus' neck and smirked. "That makes two of us," he said, and leaned forward to plant his lips on Severus'.
Divine, Severus thought. The taste of his mate's mouth, the smell of him, the feel of his body pressed against Severus was simply too good for mere words. Nothing had ever felt so natural in all of Severus' life. Every cell within his body pulsed with contentment and a sense of homecoming as he deepened the kiss, and Severus wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him closer as he moved them forward.
Harry moaned as his back connected with the door. He'd been completely unaware they'd even been moving, but the feel of that long, lithe body firmly against his had him arching his hips forward as a choked sound of need left his throat. Merlin, it was good, better than he'd imagined, better than anything he'd ever felt before in his life.
"Severus," Harry begged as that delicious mouth moved along his throat. "Please."
Severus pulled away and slid a hand down to clasp one of Harry's before turning and leading him up the stairs to the bedroom. He took a long considering look at the man before him – his mate, of all things – and smiled a smile that reminded Harry of the panther he'd seen terrorizing the hunters. "What do you want?" he asked silkily.
Harry shivered under both the look and the voice and barely managed to whisper, "You. Just you."
"Undress," Severus ordered. "Slowly."
Desire rioting in his blood, Harry slid the cloak and robes from his shoulders, then began on the buttons of his shirt. He kept his eyes on the black eyed Slytherin, pulse pounding as those eyes seemed to heat more with every inch of skin he displayed. He was almost certain he imagined the first low purr, but when it was repeated – louder this time – Harry's cock gave an appreciative jerk against the placket of his trousers and a small moan sounded in his throat.
Severus had been leaning against the wall, watching Harry divest himself of his clothing. He'd felt the soft purr before he heard it leave his throat, felt it grow and rumble from him once more. He watched the effect it had on Harry and decided not to fight it. Why, when Harry so clearly enjoyed the sound of it? He remembered the way Harry had leaned into the bunting, rubbing back in his own way, pressing his leg closer whenever Severus brushed a calf against him. He pushed away from the wall and began removing his own clothing, watching Harry carefully as he did so.
Harry whimpered as he pulled off his shoes and socks, and then stepped out of his trousers. Severus was taking his clothes off, and Harry wanted to touch him, taste him, be the one peeling him out of the material, but Severus pinned him in place with a look that clearly said 'Watch.' It was all he could do to keep from touching himself – somehow he thought Severus wouldn't be pleased – so he fisted his hands at his sides and followed every move Severus made like an addict waiting for their next hit.
Severus watched his mate with glittering eyes as he shrugged the shirt from his shoulders and began on the buttons holding his trousers closed. He was enjoying himself – far more than he ever had in any other intimate situation – and it shocked him to realize just how much. He'd never felt this way before; primal, desirable, sexy. He wondered absently how much was his feline nature and how much was the fact that Harry was watching him like a man eying his last meal and relishing the prospect of every bite. He decided it was a bit of both as he shimmied out of the trousers with more grace than he every remembered possessing and crawled onto the bed.
"Come here," he said, voice a rolling purr.
Harry climbed onto the bed and stayed on his knees, facing his lover. He'd only had one other male lover, and that had been more of a drunken, furtive thing that this was. This was lights on, emotions tangled, and hopefully, not a one off. Hermione's words came back to him and he smiled, then gasped as Severus' head descended into his lap and the other man scented him. It was the most erotic thing he'd ever experienced in his life. He moaned as he felt the slick slide of a wet tongue along the length of him, his hands going automatically to fist in Severus hair. "Fuck," he whispered, eyes falling shut in pleasure.
"Not yet," Severus said softly, and then blew a stream of cool air over the wet flesh. "I want to taste you first," he growled, then swallowed Harry whole.
Harry cried out at the feel of wet heat on his cock, Severus' tongue teasing the underside, dipping into the slit, lips closing around the crown as he pulled up and sucked hard. The rumbled purr that left Severus then had Harry rushing towards orgasm faster than he ever had in his life and he fought to hang on. He wanted to enjoy this.
Severus worked him ferociously, sucking greedily, needing the sate of Harry in his mouth. He moaned, realized it sounded more like a deep purr, then did it again, lifting a hand to cup Harry's sac and roll his bollocks.
"Oh… fuck… Sev'rus… please… can't…" The string of incoherent words was all Harry could manage, and when he came down Severus' throat his fingers tightened and his vision went white. He came to with a small groan, embarrassed beyond measure at how fast he'd gone off. He opened his eyes and gasped; Severus lay next to him, one hand slowly fisting the most beautiful prick he'd ever seen, and he slid down the bed and sucked the head of it into his mouth.
Severus hissed, then began to purr once more. His breath was short and his eyes screwed tight, and finally he lifted his hand from his prick to curl it in Harry's hair and yank him away. "I'm going to take you now," he warned. "And I'm going to take you hard, and frankly, I've haven't the patience to prepare you properly," he finished, grabbing for his wand. "Next time," he promised before he cast the spells that would relax and lubricate his lover. He pushed at Harry until the other man lay on his back, slid down his body and between his legs, pushed his thighs open, lined himself up and pushed in with one long, smooth stroke.
Twins cries of pleasure rent the air, and then Severus was moving; pulling back only to slide in deep and hard. Over and over and over, going deeper with each thrust. Harry gasped and screamed his pleasure, nails raking along Severus back, drawing blood, and the scent and feel of it only inflamed Severus more.
He pushed in harder, faster, needing more, wanting to climb inside Harry and never leave. "Touch yourself," he demanded from between his teeth. "I want to see it, want to feel you come around my cock."
Harry's eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head, but he did as he was bid, biting his lip to keep the scream of pleasure inside. Severus shifted position and Harry couldn't hold out any longer. Each thrust struck his prostate, helping his cock fill faster, and before he knew it, Harry was coming again.
The feel of Harry's muscles clenching down on him was all it took for Severus, and he leaned forward and shoved into Harry hard, biting down on the skin of his shoulder as he came. "Mine," he managed, before he collapsed, breath harsh in his lungs.
Harry wrapped his arms around Severus and held on. He never wanted to lose this, wanted to have this forever. "Um… Severus," he began hesitantly. "Tell me this isn't a one off," he said, the fingers of one hand shifting to caress the scars on Severus' throat. "I don't think I could handle it if it were."
"Idiot," Severus murmured fondly. "I'm a werepanther. Like all were creatures, we mate for life. If you had any thoughts of going elsewhere, I'd suggest you banish them now. I do not share."
Harry grinned and closed his eyes, arms tightening around the warm and welcome body pressing him into the sheets. "Neither do I," he replied, and sighed into the kiss Severus pressed to his lips.
~ Fin ~
Author: Irana
Giftee: Treewishes
Word Count: 10,306
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Snape/Harry
Warnings: Shifting POV's, drama, AU, smattering of UST and then the hawt mansecks
Disclaimer: No money is being made here. If it were, I'd be rich and blonde and British.
Summary: What if Snape's death was really a way for him to truly begin his life?
Author's Notes: Written for the 2007
Thanks so much
*~*~*
When Severus woke his first thought was 'Yes, apparently you do dream when you're dead'. His second was, 'I also apparently still breathe'. It took him several long minutes to realize that no, he wasn't dead and that yes, he really was breathing. He hadn't time to wonder at it, or at the blank spot in his mind as immediately following his last thought was a sense of danger that he immediately paid heed to. Every instinct in his body was screaming and every single piece of fur covering his flesh was standing on edge.
Fur?
Severus didn't have time to puzzle that out as the next sound that reached his ears was rather loud and sounded suspiciously like one of those bizarre hunting rifles his father had owned. The sound came once more and he was even more convinced of what it was. His body sprang into action immediately, following the scent of sulfur and gunpowder and human and fear.
Fear? Why do I smell fear?
He bounded through the brush and headed towards where the scent of fear was greatest and dropped into a crouch at the sound of approaching hooves. He forced his mind to ignore the mystery for right now and tilted his head to get a better view through the brush he was crouched behind. Deer. Stag specifically, two of them both running for their lives. It was from them the scent of fear emanated. Behind them were dogs and humans, mounted on horses, weapons raised and poised to fire.
Severus didn't even think, he simply leapt, causing one of the horses to rear and throw its human rider off. The other horse bolted, its rider holding on for dear life. Severus padded to the fallen human – nearly smirking when the horse ran off – and rested a large black paw on the man's chest. He meant to tell him to leave the deer be, but what came out instead was a roar that startled him as much as it apparently startled the human who wet himself. Severus blinked, stared at the man for a moment, and then loped off.
*~*~*
"Harry, have you heard?" Hermione asked as she pushed open the door of the room in Grimmauld Harry had taken to hiding in. It was – of all places – the library, a room Hermione was more than comfortable in. Not that Harry had allowed much of anyone access to the room since the end of the war and discovering Snape's body was nowhere to be found.
Harry looked up from the book he was reading on the effects of Naga venom – the family of snake he believed Nagini to have been descended from – and said, "Heard what?" His voice was sharp as he'd made a point of telling everyone he didn't want to be disturbed, but he did his best to soften the scowl he knew was on his face.
"There's been a beast – a cougar or panther of some kind - terrorizing the hunters in Cornwall. They're calling it the Beast of Bodmin," Hermione replied as she settled herself into a chair next to Harry.
"And I would have heard of this why?" asked Harry.
Hermione raised a brow and ignored his tone. "Because it's been protecting and defending every stag the hunters went after. Quite viciously at times as well. Also, it's been close enough to tear at the men, but aside from a paw in the chest has done them no damage."
Harry blinked. "That isn't normal is it? I mean, don't those sorts of animals normally kill deer? And humans?"
Hermione nodded. "They do. Which is why the hunters are so terrified of this one. It won't allow them near the deer, especially the stags, and they don't know what to make of it. It's gone all over the moors in Cornwall protecting the deer."
Harry fell silent after that, not quite certain what to make of the news. "Why tell me?" he finally asked.
Hermione arched an eyebrow then said quietly, "I know what you're doing Harry. You've been this way since Snape's body disappeared. If you're looking for a reason why, I thought this might be of interest, given what you've told me his Patronus was, and what yours is. This is an animal known for hunting deer, not protecting them. And it's apparently particular about the stags. It protects them first."
"How did you know?" Harry asked quietly.
"Harry," Hermione began gently, "I know how you feel about him, even if you don't. I know why things didn't work with Ginny. It's because she was never the one who held your attention. Of everyone, - even Malfoy – the only person you have always reacted strongest to was Severus Snape. If that weren't enough, there have been many times in the past where anyone would have expected you to seek Ginny out and you never did. Not when we first returned to Hogwarts, not after the battle, not when you discovered Snape's body was missing. You always came to us. Those weren't the actions of a person in love."
There was nothing he could say to that really, so Harry nodded and closed his book. Hermione knew him far too well for him to bother denying any of it, including the fact that he'd been searching for anything that would prove Snape might be alive, no matter how farfetched. He had to check this out, see what it was about. Even if only to prove to himself that it had nothing to do with Snape, that it was another in a series of false leads to the man's whereabouts. "I'll be gone for a few days," he said. "Tell everyone for me?'
Hermione nodded. "I thought you'd say that, so I've already told them you're gone."
Harry smiled gratefully and Disapparated.
*~*~*
Had anyone been looking at the huge panther standing in the brush at the edge of town they would have sworn the cat was smirking. Anyone who knew Severus Snape would have known that was exactly what he was doing. He'd managed to chase off yet another group of hunters – faster this time – and had put the fear of the Beast of Bodmin into them. It had looked as though they were specifically looking for him and hadn't been prepared when they found him.
Unlike his usual paw in the chest, this one had received harsher treatment as he'd nearly gotten the doe and young stag in the herd he protected, and a vision from his past had flashed before his eyes. His mind's eye had replayed the scene the night of Lily's death; Lily standing in front of Harry and utterly determined to protect her son.
He'd risen from his crouch in the grass with the speed and viciousness of a hunting wolf and knocked the hunter right from his horse; opening his jaw wide as he leaned close to the hunters face and roared – long and loud – before jumping clear when he saw movement at the corner of his eye.
One of the other hunters had gone for his weapon and attempted to shoot Severus. The next second he was flying through the air – looking for the entire world as though he had been pushed – and the rest of the men were scrambling to get away as fast as possible. Severus followed them to the edge of their village – just to be certain the threat was truly gone – before finally he turned and headed back to his new home, a satisfied look on his face.
*~*~*
Harry had been tracking the activities of the 'Beast of Bodmin' for well over a week now and he was certain the wildcat was Snape. What he couldn't quite figure out was how. So he'd left – being just as careful to conceal the evidence of his leaving as he had been of his presence – and found a safe place to Apparate back to the alley by Grimmauld.
The house was dark, so Harry made his way inside as quietly as he knew how, sneaked up the stairs and into his bedroom, only to stop short at seeing Hermione reading by candlelight in the chair next to his bed.
"Hermione, what are you doing here?" he whispered as he shed his robes and boots.
"Waiting to see what you've found out," she said quietly.
Knowing she wouldn't leave until she knew, Harry sighed and dropped gratefully unto his bed. Sleeping in the woods – even with a tent – wasn't his idea of a good time, especially not when he was hiding from Snape.
"I think it's him. I just don't understand how or why."
Hermione nodded. From what she'd read in reports of the beast, it acted nothing at all as it should regarding its natural prey. Nothing like a normal non-magical animal at least. She stood, gave Harry a gentle kiss on the cheek and said, "Get some sleep Harry. We can talk in the morning."
Harry nodded and smiled. By the time Hermione quietly closed his door he was already asleep.
*~*~*
When Harry ventured downstairs the next morning, everything was quiet. None of the usual morning sounds filled Grimmauld, and it was only after he'd made himself something to eat and ventured into the library that he realized it was well past noon. He wasn't at all surprised to Hermione at the table with books all around her, notes scratched on various pieces of parchment.
"Harry," she said when he sat down. "I've found the most unusual thing," she went on, shoving a book at him as well as several pieces of parchment. "There's a rare sort of magical were – originally from either India or South East Asia, no one's quite certain – that doesn't transform until after its first death. It's a bit like a magical failsafe, to keep their powers from manifesting too early or from being abused, it's not really clear," she began to explain before Harry could even read the notes she'd provided. "Basically, even though Nagini apparently killed Snape, what she did was to actually awaken that part of him."
Harry blinked. "What?"
"Nagini, if our research is correct, is descended of a being considered a god called the Naga. It's believed that the Naga are an ancient race of semi divine serpent creature beings first depicted in ancient Vedic Hindu mythology and oral folklore from at least 5000 B.C. According to this," she said as she tapped the book she'd pushed at Harry, "Nagas are said to take various forms. In many legends they are most often described as giant serpents with multiple heads or humanoid beings with the lower bodies of vast snakes. They were touted as extremely gifted shape-shifters, able to assume any appearance that suited their needs. It fits Harry, it all fits," she said excitedly.
Swept away in her enthusiasm, Harry began to read. According to the text, Nagas were children of Kadru, the granddaughter of the god Brahma, and her husband, Rishi or sage, Kasyapa, the son of Marichi. Kashyapa was said to have had by his twelve wives other diverse progeny including reptiles, large cats, birds, and all sorts of living beings. It was the reference to large cats that caught and held Harry's attention. It completely meshed with Hermione's theory, particularly given Snape's current form.
The text also went on to state that the Naga by nature were protectors and guardians, and were known to develop feelings of great intensity for certain humans that inspired tender feelings. Much like humans, Nagas were said to show wisdom and concern for others but also cowardice and injustice. Naga were associated with water and fluid energy, and also with persons having powerful animal-like qualities or an impressive animal with human qualities.
Those things all struck home to Harry as far as Severus was concerned, but what cinched it for him was the information found in the last few paragraphs on Nagas. The Naga were purported to separate into four different types; The Heavenly, the Divine, the Earthly and the Hidden. The first vigilantly warded the palaces of heaven, the second brought fertility to the world by summoning the life giving rains, and the third took it upon themselves to preserve the natural balance of the earth, whether it be mineral or animal, often protecting both from the hands of greedy humans.
Some of them were water-dwellers, living in rivers or the ocean; others were earth-dwellers, living in heavily forested areas or underground caverns. Female Nagas, were called Nagis or Naginis, often refusing to grant their true names to those that bound them against their will. They were said to carry the elixir of life and immortality, using their powerful jaws and poison to transfer their gift and powers to those they deemed worthy by causing what the Hindi called 'the first death'.
It fit. It all fit perfectly. Harry looked up at Hermione, unsure what his face was telegraphing.
Hermione reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "I know. It's a bit overwhelming isn't it? There's more," she warned, nodding at the books she still had in front of her, "mostly about how to approach someone that's been granted the naga's gift and helping them reconnect to their humanity, but I'll make notes and you can read them later."
Harry nodded gratefully, then stood and left the library. He wasn't certain where he was going, but he needed to think, and he didn't trust his room to give him the privacy he sought, particularly not once everyone had returned.
*~*~*
Severus dreamt of bright green eyes. Green eyes, a shock of black hair and a lightning shaped scar. Images played through his mind – memories – of the being with the emerald eyes. Often in danger, often with Severus coming to the rescue. The big panther twitched in its sleep and shimmered. When Severus awoke, he was once more a man.
He'd found his new form uncomfortable, and he'd stayed in the cave he claimed for himself. He didn't venture out for a full two days, and when he did, he was vastly dismayed to find that most of the herd he'd been protecting ran in terror at his appearance. He sighed, the sound odd to his ears, and wandered around until he found something he could eat in this form – first mostly as he was now too slow to catch what it was he craved – and then made his way back to his cave.
Each time he slept he dreamt of green eyes and black hair, and slowly a face began to form in his mind. It was someone he knew, he was certain of it, someone important. It wasn't until the third night when he slept once more that his dreams became disturbing enough to wake him. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was danger – not to him but to the face in his dreams – and it was a long time until he slept once more. The next time he awoke, he was once more covered in fur.
*~*~*
Harry didn't return to Grimmauld for two days. He'd gone to Spinner's End, wanting to be close to the essence of Severus, and had made his decision there. Severus protected the deer; he would return in his Animagus form – ironically enough, a serval – and hope that Severus didn't kill him before he could get close to him. Somehow, he doubted the panther that was Severus would take well to another male cat in his territory. He could only hope the fact that his animal form preferred a diet excluding large game such as deer would be a determining factor in his favour.
When he entered the house, it was completely empty, so he left a note for Hermione – charmed to open only at her touch – explaining what he planned to do and that he didn't know how long he'd be gone. Included in the note was a set of instructions, and a smaller sealed envelope. Satisfied with his preparations, he'd taken all the notes she'd left for him and returned to Spinner's End, where he spent the next three days studying them and committing them to memory. Once he was satisfied that he would remember it all if he needed it, he'd Apparated to Cornwall, changed into his animagus form and began haunting the area Severus had claimed for his own.
He didn't want to outright hack the other man off, so he took great care to not disturb any of the panther's scrapes, scratches or tracks. He did spray his scent in several areas – he wanted Severus to know he was there – and wasn't surprised when he went back the next day to see that Severus had added his scent slightly on top of Harry's. If he'd been able to grin, he would have done so. After several days of this, Harry finally made his way toward the place he believed to be Severus' lair, his heart a conflicted mass of hope, fear and anticipation.
*~*~*
Severus had found himself both annoyed and intrigued for the last four days. There was another cat about, one who had taken great care not to impinge on his territory. It was as though the other cat were merely announcing his presence; not attempting to take over. At first he'd worried over the safety of his herd, but none of them were missing, nor had they been attacked.
He wasn't certain what sort of feline this new presence was. He knew it was male from its scent, and likely not a big game eater. He knew from its behaviour it wasn't attempting to move in on his territory, more than likely just passing through. The thing that had Severus confused was the sense of knowing that he got from the scent. There was a familiarity he couldn't account for as he had no memory of meeting another wildcat. It was driving him mad.
When he scented the other cat near his lair he was almost grateful.
*~*~*
Harry approached Severus' lair cautiously. He didn't think he was up to being challenged by the other cat, especially since he hadn't really allowed himself to sleep. He stopped several feet from the mouth of the lair, close to a tree and waited.
Severus stepped carefully from his lair, emitting a low warning growl to the other cat. He stopped and observed the bold male who had not only entered his territory, but seemed inclined to stay. The cat was smaller than he was, with tawny fur and a white underbelly with solid black spots all over its body. Its tail was ringed in black and its ears and feet were most noticeable because of there length. Its eyes, however, were a vivid, familiar shade of green.
Harry watched as Severus regarded him and then began to stalk aggressively towards him. It was all he could do to fight his current form’s instincts and not drop into a defensive crouch and growl in return, but he managed.
The fact that the other feline hadn't responded in a defensive manner gave Severus pause. Clearly, the other male had no intent on fighting, or even posturing. Something in the green eyed cat struck that chord of familiarity once more and Severus gave a purr, and then turned for his lair; neither he nor his herd were in danger, he was sure of it. He had nearly entered the cave before he swung his head around to regard Harry with a look that clearly said, 'Are you coming or not?'
If Harry had been able, he'd have been grinning. Instead he simply followed Severus into the cave and settled down a reasonable distance away from him, then began to clean himself. He was tired, and filthy, and before long, he was fast asleep.
Despite his confidence the other cat posed no danger, Severus found himself keeping a cautious eye turned in its direction. When it fell asleep, Severus cautiously approached until he could sniff the other male, and then found himself licking at its head and ears, cleaning the spots it had missed.
Harry opened one eye lazily, gave a small purr of contentment, and went back to sleep.
Satisfied, Severus finished his self-appointed task, then settled close to the other cat and went to sleep. That night, Severus dreamed once more. His dreams were far more detailed than they had been, with many other figures that seemed familiar. There was a female with a mass of uncontrollable, curly brown hair, a redheaded male, and a thin, pointy nosed blond male. He twitched in his sleep, unintentionally shifting closer to warmth he could feel at his side, and then settled into a deeper sleep.
When Harry awoke, it was to find he was curled protectively against the nude form of Severus Snape. If he'd been in any other form, he would have flushed, and he found himself grateful he was still in serval form. Merlin only knew how his body would have reacted if he hadn't been. He sniffed his former professor, nudging at him gently, then rested his head on a paw so he could watch the man he'd been positive hadn't died sleep.
As Severus slept, Harry thought back to the days after the Battle of Hogwarts. He'd returned to the Shack with the intent of retrieving Snape's body, only to find it missing. He'd stood there for long moments in shock, attempting to wrap his brain around what he saw before him – a large patch of congealed blood, empty blood crusted robes and no corpse – before he'd run back to the castle to locate Ron and Hermione.
Neither of them had been able to think of a reason for Snape's robes to remain behind, while his body has disappeared, except that someone or something had taken it. Then, a full month later when Snape's portrait still hadn't appeared in the headmaster's office, Harry had been convinced that Snape was indeed still alive. He'd even argued with Ginny about it, and that had been the straw that broke the camels back for Harry. She'd been very clear about her hope that the 'greasy bastard was dead'.
Things had been strained between them before that, what with her constantly pressuring him about their relationship, and after all Harry had learned of Snape, it had been too much. He'd told her quite baldly that if she couldn't open her eyes to see the person and not just the attitude or reputation he doubted she knew who he was either, and he'd rather be alone for the rest of his life than with someone who cared more for his reputation than him.
Harry hadn't been able to explain to himself why he'd become so obsessed with finding the man, and it wasn't until that conversation with Hermione where she told him about the Beast of Bodmin that it occurred to Harry that he cared about Snape, and far more deeply than he'd suspected. He'd known he respected him after seeing his memories, had been grateful and stunned by how much Snape had sacrificed for him – even if it had been for his mother's sake – but he had no idea when all that had become love. Now he looked at the object of his affection and wondered if he'd ever have a chance to win the other man for himself.
His thoughts were interrupted as Snape groaned in his sleep, becoming more restless, and Harry transformed and stretched a gentle hand to pet Snape's hair as he muttered whatever words of comfort that came to mind. He lifted his hand and shifted away as Snape woke, watching the other man carefully.
Severus sat up slowly, a shiver wracking his body and started as he heard the soft sound of another's voice before something soft settled around his shoulders. Instinctively, he wrapped the cloak around him and scooted backwards, raising his eyes to meet shocking green. There was no way of describing what happened then; one moment Snape was looking into familiar green eyes and the next he gave a sharp cry and slumped to the floor. When he came to, Potter was bending over him, staring at him anxiously and he gasped as the last time he'd been this close to Potter flashed in his memory.
"I died," he said softly, voice rusty with disuse, black burning into the brilliant green he'd seen consistently in his dreams, eyes he'd last seen before this morning as he'd lay dying.
Harry conjured a glass, Apparated to the nearest water source, filled it, then Apparated back and handed it to Severus. "You did," he confirmed quietly.
Severus had been surprised by Potter's abrupt disappearance, but found himself grateful for the chance to pull himself together. "What happened?" he demanded once he'd swallowed half the water. "After I died?" He rather doubted Potter would have a clue, but on the off chance he did, Severus had to ask.
"That's rather a long story, Sir," Harry said respectfully, if tiredly. Suddenly his exhaustion seemed to have caught up with him; there had been many sleepless nights during his search for Severus, and one night of sleep out of four hadn't helped any. "Perhaps we could discuss this elsewhere?" he suggested. "After we've both had a bit of a rest and some food?"
Severus thought carefully, manfully ignoring the swirling mix of feline and human memories in his head. He had many questions, but doubtless his mind would be sharper – not to mention more organised – after proper rest and food. For the sound of Potter's voice he would hardly get anything further from the brat, however there was one thing he had to know. "The Dark Lord?"
"Dead," Harry replied flatly.
Severus blinked, and then smothered the spontaneous smile that wanted to claim his face and the overwhelming relief that flooded his body. He was free! He frowned as it occurred to him that being free of the Dark Lord did not equal freedom in general, and he looked suspiciously at Harry. "Why are you here? Come to take me to the Ministry?" he mocked.
"Actually Sir, even if I were to take you there, they'd hardly do more than require you to stand in a public ceremony while they awarded you the Order of Merlin. Your name has been cleared."
Severus regarded Potter suspiciously for several long moments before he finally nodded. "Where do you suggest we go? I have no wand, and I can hardly go about unclothed."
Harry flushed, looked about the cave and transfigured a pile of leaves into a set of robes, then stood. "I'll wait for you outside," he said quietly. "If you've no objections, I thought perhaps we'd go to Grimmauld." Harry waited long enough to see Snape nod, then stepped outside the cave. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief and turned as he heard soft footsteps approaching him. He held out his arm and said, "I'm afraid you'll need to hold on."
"I am well aware of that, Potter," Snape snapped. "I am not an imbecile."
Harry couldn't help but smile slightly at that, and nodded once more. "Hold on," he said as Snape took a firm hold of his arm and he Apparated them to the alley in London. They made their way silently inside, and Harry was grateful the house once more appeared to be empty save for Kreacher. "Would you like something to eat, or would you prefer to rest first?" he asked politely.
"Rest," Severus replied, eyes raking over Potter's features. "It is doubtful you will remain standing long enough to answer my questions, and I will have what passes for your full attention when next we speak.” That said, he turned with his usual flair and mounted the stairs, heading directly to the room he always used whenever he was forced to stay at Grimmauld.
Sighing quietly, Harry followed, closing the door of his room behind him with a small sigh. While he was elated that Snape seemed himself, he was far too tired to actually appreciate the fact the man was truly alive and as irascible as ever, and he was asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.
*~*~*
The next morning found Severus awake and staring in some fascination at the clothing that had apparently been brought there with him in mind. He'd been surprised to discover several new robes in his old style in the wardrobe, including an exact replica of his dueling robes and a velvet lined box containing his wand. Dressed comfortably once more and feeling more secure in the knowledge he was armed, Severus ventured down to the kitchen in search of a spot of tea, and found Hermione Granger at table, with a dish of scones in front of her and a clean teacup and saucer sitting across from her.
"Good morning, Sir," she greeted. "Would you care for a cup of tea?"
Numbly, Severus nodded and sat down as Granger floated the empty cup to her place, poured, and floated it back to him, along with the saucer of milk and the bowl of sugar.
"I'm so very glad Harry found you , Sir," she said respectfully as he sent the dish of scones and an empty plate his way.
"How did you know I was here?" he asked.
"I didn't. I've been here every morning for an hour at breakfast time in case Harry returned." In the past, every time Harry had returned empty handed, he'd been despondent for days, though she didn't bother explaining that to Snape.
"How long have I been… away?" Severus asked, unable to make himself say the word 'dead' just then.
"Five months," she replied quietly as she took a sip of her tea.
"Pray enlighten me as to how this has come to be," he demanded.
"Perhaps Harry," Hermione began.
"Had I wished to suffer through a floundering recitation of the events after my demise, I would have required Potter to provide me with answers," Severus interrupted. "As I wish as concise a recounting as possible, you will give me the answers I seek."
Hermione ducked her head to hide the smile of relief on her lips. Whatever death had done to her former professor, he was no less himself, and she couldn't help but be pleased for Harry's sake. "Of course, Sir," she said, and immediately launched into her story from the moment they left him in the shack.
By the time she was done, Severus had consumed his tea and several scones – having forced himself to remain silent despite his wish to refute her on several points – and found himself filled with conflicting emotions where Harry Potter was concerned.
When he'd left his room for the kitchen this morning his intention had been to ponder the coalescing memories of being a predatory feline. Instead, he'd been given more to process, some of it quite shocking. The very idea that Potter had been the first to believe he was still alive, that Potter had gone back to the Shack to retrieve his body for burial left him reeling.
Even more shocking was the thoroughness with which the boy – no, he wasn't a boy any longer, was he? – the man had planned his retrieval. He'd left nothing to chance, had given Severus no means of escape from his presence save Spinner's End. Why had he gone to all that trouble? What could he possibly hope to gain? Regardless of how Severus looked at it in his mind, he could see no particular advantage for the other man, and it left him utterly puzzled.
"This has been most informative," Severus said as he stood. He gave Hermione a little bow and swept from the room, returning to the room he'd claimed for his use to consider the enigma that was Harry Potter. Clearly the boy had truly become a man, and despite hearing about his battle with the Dark Lord, Severus dearly wished he'd been around to see it.
Whatever else he may have thought left his mind with the knock on his door. "Yes?"
"It's me S.. er, Professor," came the voice of the very man he'd been thinking of.
"What is it, Potter?"
"Um, I'd like… may I come in?" Harry asked.
Sighing, Severus waved his wand and removed the ward he'd automatically cast behind him. The door swung open and Severus smirked at the younger man. "Did you plan to stand there or actually enter the room?" he taunted.
Flushing, Harry stepped inside the room and closed the door behind himself. "You'd mentioned questions," he said as neutrally as he could manage. Truth all told, he wasn't at all certain what Severus was likely to ask first, and he wasn't entirely sure he was prepared for the interrogation this was likely to turn into.
"Did you really arrange to purchase the land in Cornwall?" Severus asked immediately.
Of all the questions Harry had anticipated, that wasn't one of them. A sheepish smile pulled at his lips as he responded, "Heard about that, did you?" When Severus simply stared at him in lieu of an answer, Harry ran a hand through his already messy hair and nodded. "I did. It seemed the simplest way of protecting the animals you'd spent so much time caring for," he answered.
"Why?"
Harry gave him a look that Severus found himself unable to identify. "Would you have stayed if your deer were in danger?"
Unwilling to consider that Potter had that much knowledge of his character – despite whatever his memories may have revealed – Severus simply asked another question. "Where did the clothing in the wardrobe come from?" Granted, it wasn't what he'd meant to ask, but it would do, especially as it appeared to be another question Potter hadn't anticipated. He watched with interest as Potter's flush deepened.
"Um, I had them made. Er… once it occurred to me that you… well, I found your robes and…" He trailed off and turned away. "It seemed the thing to do. I couldn't imagine going through your personal items simply to find your clothing."
Severus regarded him in silence for long minutes before he finally asked, "Did you truly tell the Dark Lord that I had never been his?"
Harry nodded. It had felt… freeing… at the time, but now he couldn't imagine Severus to be pleased with him.
"May I see?" Severus found his mouth saying quite without his permission.
Harry nodded, then stood and left the room long enough to fetch his pensieve. He set it down on the dresser next to Severus once he returned and carefully pulled the memory of his battle with Voldemort from his ear, transferred it to the pensieve, then sat back to wait while Severus viewed it.
It was one thing to hear about Potter defeating the Dark Lord; it was another thing entirely to actually see it. He couldn't help but be impressed with the way Potter had handled the situation. It gave him an odd sense of connection to Potter, particularly the fact that they'd both died that day, and Severus found himself even more unsettled after he'd viewed the memory than he had been before.
"I suppose you'll want to tell people I'm alive," he said once he'd recovered a bit of his balance.
Harry shrugged. "That ought to be your decision I think." Frankly, he couldn't imagine Severus telling everyone that he'd survived because he wasn't entirely all human, especially since he hadn't exactly boasted about being a Half-blood, although the bit about Nagini finding him worthy of her might make up for that. Speaking of… "Do you know Nagini's real name? What it was I mean," he added. He felt sorry for the Naga actually. The fact that she hadn't told Voldemort her name clearly said she hadn't wanted to be bound to him.
Severus nodded. "A mass of s, h and t unpronounceable to anyone save a Parselmouth," he said in response. He was rather surprised that Potter didn't want the attention he'd no likely receive for locating Snape, but he acknowledged that very little of what he'd expected Potter to be like was actually correct.
Harry nodded. "Did you have any other questions?"
Severus raised a brow. "When I do you will be aware of it."
Harry stood, went to the pensieve, and retrieved his memories. "I still have your memories if you'd like them back," he said softly.
Severus looked at him in shock. He wasn't certain what he'd expected Potter to do with them, but he certainly hadn't expected he'd keep them. He nodded stiffly and turned away.
"I'll see you get them, then," Harry said, and slipped quietly from the room.
*~*~*
The next few weeks were interesting for all concerned. Ron came with Hermione to visit Harry one morning that first week for breakfast – Ginny behind them, having convinced them she wanted to see for herself that Harry was really alright – and froze at the sight of Snape sitting across from Harry having tea. Snape immediately assumed a protective stance in front of Harry when Ron stopped at the door. When Ginny stepped from around Ron, she also froze, but it was more the dangerous warning growl that came from Snape at her presence than the unhappy look on Harry's face.
Harry looked at Ron and Hermione and asked quietly, "Why is she here?"
Hermione looked at Ron who shrugged helplessly. "She said she wanted to see for herself that you were all right. Wouldn't leave it alone," Ron replied.
"I'm right here," Ginny replied testily. She shot an ugly look at Snape then asked Harry, "What's he doing here? I thought he was dead."
Harry tensed slightly before he stepped to stand next to Severus. "He's here because I wanted him here."
Ginny opened her mouth to protest and Severus growled once more; the sound was distinctly menacing this time. Harry placed a hand on Severus' arm and said coldly, "I think it's time you left, Ginny. You're not welcome here."
Hermione put a restraining hand on Ron's arm when he looked as though he were about to say something and said before he could speak, "We'll see her home, Harry." She'd spoken to Ron about how Harry felt about Snape as well as the argument Harry had had with Ginny, and while Ron had seemed to understand that Ginny had royally hacked Harry off, it was apparent he hadn't understood just how badly.
She snagged Ginny's arm and dragged her from the room, heading for the door, Ron nodding slowly at Harry before he'd followed. Harry sighed, turned to Severus and apologised, and wasn't at all surprised when the man returned to Spinner's End later that day.
Severus stayed away from a week before something drove him to seek Harry out once more. He wasn't certain what it was that compelled him to be near the other man – although he suspected it had a great deal to do with his feline instincts – so he purposefully avoided thinking about it while he was in Harry's presence. He also had no idea when Potter had become Harry, but he suspected it was shortly after that confrontation with the Weasely girl.
The first thing Harry noticed when Severus began visiting with him was that the man looked… well, cleaner. His hair was much less greasy – although it wasn't exactly full and bouncy – and his skin looked better. He even smelled a bit less like potions ingredients or the musty smell that had permeated Spinner's End and stuck in Harry's clothing. Research into his new state of existence was Severus' reason for returning.
With each successive visit, Harry noticed other things; things he was fairly certain Severus hadn't even realized he was doing. Every so often as they talked, Severus would rub his arm or leg against Harry's; if they were sharing a book or notes, Severus would butt up against Harry with his head when Harry found something helpful in much the same way a cat would do.
It all came to a head one night when Hermione fire called as they were sitting on the sofa in the sitting room and Harry turned to the fireplace at the sound of her gasped breath. Severus had been sitting with his head resting against Harry's occasionally butting him gently as they'd read from the same book on Naga gifts. From Hermione's vantage point, it had looked as though Harry were being nuzzled. The sound of her surprised gasp had brought Severus to an awareness of just what it was he'd been doing, and he'd said his goodbyes and left.
That had been three weeks ago, and Harry hadn't seen him since.
*~*~*
Right then, Harry thought. Enough is enough. If he won't come to me, then I'll just go to him. That decided, Harry headed for his room and his wardrobe, tossing clothing on the bed as he tried to decide what to wear. He'd never really paid attention to his clothes; Hermione had always pointed out things that looked good and he'd bought them, so he knew he at least matched and wore clothing that was in style, but generally, he just didn't think about it.
He couldn't afford to do that today; today he had to look good.
Harry hadn't expected Severus to stay gone so long. When the end of the first week had rolled around, he'd expected to see the other man within the next few days. He hadn't. Then he'd gotten a copy of the Prophet, and the headlines all had something to do with Severus Snape, the war hero who had returned from the dead. Once he'd seen that he'd figured he wouldn't see Severus until the end of the week at least.
The end of the week had arrived, but Severus hadn't.
Hermione had come by at the beginning of this past week and he'd found himself babbling to her about how much he missed Severus. He hadn't realized just how comfortable he'd grown to having Severus present in Grimmauld. He definitely hadn't realized how much he'd missed the touching.
Hermione had looked at him over the rim of her teacup and said, "You do know what he was doing, don't you?"
Harry had frowned and said, "Um, no." It hadn't occurred to him that Severus had been doing anything specific at all.
Hermione had sighed then said, "Sometimes I forget how thick you can be. He was marking you, Harry. All that arm and leg rubbing? It's just like a cat claiming his territory. He even growled at Ginny, for Merlin's sake. He didn't back down until you put your hand on his arm. That head butting/rubbing thing he did? That's called 'bunting'. It's a sign of affection." She shook her head. "Sometimes I think the only reason you managed to get together with Ginny was because she beat you over the head with how she felt for years."
Harry hadn't said anything; he hadn't been able to. It had never occurred to him that Severus might have felt anything at all for him… well, anything romantic in any case. He'd pretty much resigned himself to just having Severus' respect, and maybe his friendship, but Harry hadn't allowed himself to think past that.
Now though – at the end of the third Snape-less week – Harry was desperate. He hadn't been able to sleep properly, and everywhere he went, in everything that he did, he felt like he was missing something important. Harry missed the biting wit, the constant sarcasm, the way even when he said something nice, Severus did it in a back-handed manner.
He missed Severus Snape.
He had to see the man, and he had to make certain that this time, Severus stayed with him. Or he stayed with Severus. He wasn't particular which, so long as they ended up together. Finally he decided on a pair of black trousers he rarely wore that fit snugly across his arse when he moved, an emerald green silk shirt and a set of black robes with green embroidery on the edges. He looked at his reflection and flushed when the mirror whistled at him.
Looking at his hair and deciding that was as good as it was likely to get, he pulled on a heavy winter cloak and left Grimmauld.
*~*~*
Severus was going mad. He wanted – no needed - to see Harry, but his human instincts of self-preservation were battling his feline instincts for his mate. He snorted. Mate. How positively bestial of me. He sighed and went to pour himself a drink.
For all that he may want to deny it he knew exactly what Harry was to him, just as clearly as he knew the younger man would never feel the same.
Regardless of what respect Harry may have for him, feelings of friendship even if he was lucky, Harry would never see him as more than that. Certainly Harry had seemed to enjoy being touched by him, but he doubted Harry even knew what most of those touches – those actions – meant. It had been harder staying away from the other man than Severus had expected it to be, but he'd managed, and told himself he would continue to manage.
Lost in his own thoughts he started at the knock on his door. He took a second to check the wards and sighed, wondering if he simply ignored him, Harry - Potter, damn it - would go away. The knock came again and he stood to open it. Knowing the man on the other side of the door, he'd either keep knocking or find a way inside. Bowing to the inevitable, Severus opened the door and wordlessly stepped back. He felt relief wash through him just at the sight of Harry, and knew he had only been fooling himself into thinking he could continue to avoid him.
Harry stepped inside and was surprised at the difference. The house looked the same on the outside, but inside it was warmer, roomier and cleaner than it had been the last time he'd been there. All the dust was gone, the furniture was polished, the air smelled of outdoors and wood smoke and the furniture looked considerably less shabby. He grinned as it occurred to him that Severus' feline nature showed in more than just his actions towards Harry and his appearance.
Harry reached for the ties of his cloak and undid then, folding the cloak over the back of the nearest chair. He looked up in time to catch the fleeting look of need in Severus' eyes before he was masked by cool indifference, and he smothered the grin that wanted to take over his face.
"I suppose you'll be wanting tea as you've made yourself comfortable," Severus said as he moved away from the door he'd closed by reflex. "Do help yourself as I'm certain you know where everything is given the changes to my wards and the copious notes in Granger's hand I found littering my floor," he said as he seated himself in front of the fire, determined to ignore the way everything inside him screamed in protest, demanding he be closer to his mate.
"Not offering to serve a guest is bad manners, Severus," Harry said lightly, relaxing with the knowledge he wasn't about to be kicked out on his arse.
Severus raised a brow and lifted his glass from the small table he'd set it on. "Invited guests perhaps," he said as he took a sip, then added, "and I don't believe I requested your presence." Although I am quite grateful to have it, he thought.
"But you did invite me in when you opened the door," Harry countered, waving a hand to open the cupboard where he suspected Severus stored his alcohol before summoning a glass and moving to pour himself a brandy.
"Far be it from me to deny a modicum of hospitality to the most powerful wizard living," Severus responded as Harry took a seat once more. He injected as much resignation into his voice as he could muster and willfully ignored the pang he felt at the hurt that flashed across Harry's face before he ducked his head. It was for the best really. Harry couldn't possibly return his feelings, and there was no sense in torturing himself with what he couldn't have.
Harry took a healthy swig of his brandy, and then looked up at Severus with pleading eyes. "Don't do this," he said quietly.
Severus' brow climbed into his hairline as he forced himself to say, "Don't do what, exactly, Mr. Potter?"
"That," Harry replied. "That whole distancing yourself thing. You haven't called me Potter since the day you growled at Ginny."
It took everything in Severus not to hiss in displeasure at the mere mention of her name, but he managed. He opened his mouth to issue a scathing comment, only to be stopped before he could speak.
"Don't," Harry said. "I don't want to hear another word unless it's you explaining why you felt like you could rub your scent all over me, mark me, and then disappear for three weeks without so much as word."
That actually shocked Severus so much his mouth dropped open before he closed it with a snap. "I suppose Granger explained it to you," he snorted.
"I am capable of doing my own research, you know," Harry snapped. "Even if she hadn't pointed out what I was missing, it would have occurred to me eventually, or had you forgotten my Animagus form is a cat?"
Severus blinked and stood to refill his glass. He had forgotten that actually, although how he could have for even a moment was beyond him. "Transfiguring oneself into an animal that reasons is not the same thing as actually being one," Severus returned. "I would have expected even you to understand that."
Harry took a deep breath and told himself not to get angry. Not now. This was too important. "No, it isn't," Harry agreed. "But that's not to say that I don't have the instincts of a serval when I am one. You can't mark me as yours and then disappear without a word, Severus," he continued, bringing them back to the main subject.
"It was not a conscious decision on my part, and I am well aware that such an action is unwanted on your behalf," Severus bit out, voice tight.
"How do you know?" Harry challenged. "Did I say or do something to give you that impression? Did I object to you touching me? Did I give you any sign at all that attention from you was unwelcome?"
It occurred to Severus then that he hadn't seen anyone save Weasley and Granger within touching distance of Harry since he'd returned, except himself. In fact, even before he'd been forced to flee the school with Malfoy Harry had been very particular about who was allowed in his personal space. He couldn't remember a time before Nagini bit him that Harry had voluntarily shared space with him, yet Harry had been the one to find him; had in fact, searched for him, then once he'd found him had curled around him and offered his cloak to keep him warm, offered him the unconditional use of his home and sought him out more than once since then.
The significance of that was staggering.
Silence reigned for several minutes before Harry set his glass down and stood. "If you've changed your mind, if you don't want me, all you had to do was say so," he said quietly as he picked up his cloak. "I've gotten used to not getting what I want, but I'd thought at least I had your friendship. I wouldn't have asked for more," he continued as he pulled his cloak on, damning himself for ever thinking Severus – Snape – would want any sort of intimate relationship with him.
Harry had made it nearly to the door before the fact that he was leaving filtered into Severus' brain. Severus moved quickly, grabbed Harry's arm and spun him around. "Just where do you think you're going?" he demanded silkily.
The possessive tone shot straight to Harry's groin and he felt himself twitch in his trousers. "Severus?" he asked softly, hoping desperately he wasn't misreading things.
"Did you truly believe I would allow you to leave? After you came to me?" If there was even the slightest chance that Harry meant what he'd implied with his last statements – that he'd wanted more and wouldn't have asked because he'd believed Severus hadn't wanted anything of the sort from him – there was absolutely no conceivable way Harry would be going anywhere without him at his side.
Harry allowed a slow, sensual smile to spread across his lips. He may not have much experience at this sort of thing, but he wasn't a complete novice. "Planning to keep me?" he asked, voice low, eyes locked on Severus' face.
"Be very certain you wish to do this, Harry," Severus warned, the name almost a purr on his lips. "I do not easily relinquish what I have claimed as my own."
Harry wrapped his arms around Severus' neck and smirked. "That makes two of us," he said, and leaned forward to plant his lips on Severus'.
Divine, Severus thought. The taste of his mate's mouth, the smell of him, the feel of his body pressed against Severus was simply too good for mere words. Nothing had ever felt so natural in all of Severus' life. Every cell within his body pulsed with contentment and a sense of homecoming as he deepened the kiss, and Severus wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him closer as he moved them forward.
Harry moaned as his back connected with the door. He'd been completely unaware they'd even been moving, but the feel of that long, lithe body firmly against his had him arching his hips forward as a choked sound of need left his throat. Merlin, it was good, better than he'd imagined, better than anything he'd ever felt before in his life.
"Severus," Harry begged as that delicious mouth moved along his throat. "Please."
Severus pulled away and slid a hand down to clasp one of Harry's before turning and leading him up the stairs to the bedroom. He took a long considering look at the man before him – his mate, of all things – and smiled a smile that reminded Harry of the panther he'd seen terrorizing the hunters. "What do you want?" he asked silkily.
Harry shivered under both the look and the voice and barely managed to whisper, "You. Just you."
"Undress," Severus ordered. "Slowly."
Desire rioting in his blood, Harry slid the cloak and robes from his shoulders, then began on the buttons of his shirt. He kept his eyes on the black eyed Slytherin, pulse pounding as those eyes seemed to heat more with every inch of skin he displayed. He was almost certain he imagined the first low purr, but when it was repeated – louder this time – Harry's cock gave an appreciative jerk against the placket of his trousers and a small moan sounded in his throat.
Severus had been leaning against the wall, watching Harry divest himself of his clothing. He'd felt the soft purr before he heard it leave his throat, felt it grow and rumble from him once more. He watched the effect it had on Harry and decided not to fight it. Why, when Harry so clearly enjoyed the sound of it? He remembered the way Harry had leaned into the bunting, rubbing back in his own way, pressing his leg closer whenever Severus brushed a calf against him. He pushed away from the wall and began removing his own clothing, watching Harry carefully as he did so.
Harry whimpered as he pulled off his shoes and socks, and then stepped out of his trousers. Severus was taking his clothes off, and Harry wanted to touch him, taste him, be the one peeling him out of the material, but Severus pinned him in place with a look that clearly said 'Watch.' It was all he could do to keep from touching himself – somehow he thought Severus wouldn't be pleased – so he fisted his hands at his sides and followed every move Severus made like an addict waiting for their next hit.
Severus watched his mate with glittering eyes as he shrugged the shirt from his shoulders and began on the buttons holding his trousers closed. He was enjoying himself – far more than he ever had in any other intimate situation – and it shocked him to realize just how much. He'd never felt this way before; primal, desirable, sexy. He wondered absently how much was his feline nature and how much was the fact that Harry was watching him like a man eying his last meal and relishing the prospect of every bite. He decided it was a bit of both as he shimmied out of the trousers with more grace than he every remembered possessing and crawled onto the bed.
"Come here," he said, voice a rolling purr.
Harry climbed onto the bed and stayed on his knees, facing his lover. He'd only had one other male lover, and that had been more of a drunken, furtive thing that this was. This was lights on, emotions tangled, and hopefully, not a one off. Hermione's words came back to him and he smiled, then gasped as Severus' head descended into his lap and the other man scented him. It was the most erotic thing he'd ever experienced in his life. He moaned as he felt the slick slide of a wet tongue along the length of him, his hands going automatically to fist in Severus hair. "Fuck," he whispered, eyes falling shut in pleasure.
"Not yet," Severus said softly, and then blew a stream of cool air over the wet flesh. "I want to taste you first," he growled, then swallowed Harry whole.
Harry cried out at the feel of wet heat on his cock, Severus' tongue teasing the underside, dipping into the slit, lips closing around the crown as he pulled up and sucked hard. The rumbled purr that left Severus then had Harry rushing towards orgasm faster than he ever had in his life and he fought to hang on. He wanted to enjoy this.
Severus worked him ferociously, sucking greedily, needing the sate of Harry in his mouth. He moaned, realized it sounded more like a deep purr, then did it again, lifting a hand to cup Harry's sac and roll his bollocks.
"Oh… fuck… Sev'rus… please… can't…" The string of incoherent words was all Harry could manage, and when he came down Severus' throat his fingers tightened and his vision went white. He came to with a small groan, embarrassed beyond measure at how fast he'd gone off. He opened his eyes and gasped; Severus lay next to him, one hand slowly fisting the most beautiful prick he'd ever seen, and he slid down the bed and sucked the head of it into his mouth.
Severus hissed, then began to purr once more. His breath was short and his eyes screwed tight, and finally he lifted his hand from his prick to curl it in Harry's hair and yank him away. "I'm going to take you now," he warned. "And I'm going to take you hard, and frankly, I've haven't the patience to prepare you properly," he finished, grabbing for his wand. "Next time," he promised before he cast the spells that would relax and lubricate his lover. He pushed at Harry until the other man lay on his back, slid down his body and between his legs, pushed his thighs open, lined himself up and pushed in with one long, smooth stroke.
Twins cries of pleasure rent the air, and then Severus was moving; pulling back only to slide in deep and hard. Over and over and over, going deeper with each thrust. Harry gasped and screamed his pleasure, nails raking along Severus back, drawing blood, and the scent and feel of it only inflamed Severus more.
He pushed in harder, faster, needing more, wanting to climb inside Harry and never leave. "Touch yourself," he demanded from between his teeth. "I want to see it, want to feel you come around my cock."
Harry's eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head, but he did as he was bid, biting his lip to keep the scream of pleasure inside. Severus shifted position and Harry couldn't hold out any longer. Each thrust struck his prostate, helping his cock fill faster, and before he knew it, Harry was coming again.
The feel of Harry's muscles clenching down on him was all it took for Severus, and he leaned forward and shoved into Harry hard, biting down on the skin of his shoulder as he came. "Mine," he managed, before he collapsed, breath harsh in his lungs.
Harry wrapped his arms around Severus and held on. He never wanted to lose this, wanted to have this forever. "Um… Severus," he began hesitantly. "Tell me this isn't a one off," he said, the fingers of one hand shifting to caress the scars on Severus' throat. "I don't think I could handle it if it were."
"Idiot," Severus murmured fondly. "I'm a werepanther. Like all were creatures, we mate for life. If you had any thoughts of going elsewhere, I'd suggest you banish them now. I do not share."
Harry grinned and closed his eyes, arms tightening around the warm and welcome body pressing him into the sheets. "Neither do I," he replied, and sighed into the kiss Severus pressed to his lips.
~ Fin ~