Now or Then

That was it. Voldemort was dead.
“Finally,” Sighed Harry promptly before he collapsed.

When he awoke he was in the infirmary. (Where else has so much white) Contrary to Harry's expectations there weren’t many people crammed around his bed instead there was Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey and Professor Snape.

A week, a whole damn week was all he had to stay in the infirmary, if he’d had his way it would’ve been longer. He didn’t want to face people. Before he even had the chance to leave Dumbledore had called him to his office. Surprised was the word when he stepped out of the hospital wing and instead of the swarm of people there was no-one ‘courtesy of Dumbledore’ thought Harry. He didn’t have to walk slowly to Dumbledore’s office, he was now fully recovered and fine to be walking around. But that didn’t stop him being tired after spending a week in a bed.
“Come in,” came the headmasters voice when his door was knocked.
“Sir, you wanted to see me?” Dumbledore gestured to a seat opposite him. Glad to sit down Harry took it.
“Right now Harry I need you to go somewhere for me.”
“Where?”
“I can’t tell you that”
“Are there going to be a lot of people there?”
“Yes, but they won’t know who you are” the twinkle in his eyes brightened. The fact that no-one would know who he was, was what finished the decision.
“Ok, I’ll go” there was no way he’d get a sensible answer about where he was going.
“Good now you’ll have to portkey there.” Inwardly Harry groaned but on the outside he showed no emotion, “It’s that one there” Harry’s eyes followed the long crooked finger to a small table were there was an old newspaper. Silently Harry got up and took it. Instantly he felt the familiar tug behind his navel. Dumbledore called to him just as he left.
“Remember Harry meddling is a way of life” The next thing he knew he was falling through the air before landing on something that felt suspiciously like grass.

*****

Back in Dumbledore’s office the headmaster was smiling before he went to his fire and called Severus Snape to his office.
Brushing soot off of his robes Severus was complaining
“This has better be good Albus, I was busy”
“I just sent Harry Potter back in time”
“YOU DID WHAT?”
“Sent Harry back to when you were in school.”
“WHY?”
“I seem to remember you meeting someone special and he was from the future.” Feelings long shut away stirred again in Severus. The image of the boy he’d fallen in love with came to his mind. He had dark hair and bright green eyes Severus also remembered a strange scar on the others forehead. He remembered this before the name. But then the name came to him… Oh Merlin he’d fallen in love with Harry Potter.
“Albus I hope you realise how unlikely it is that, even when Mister Potter returns, his feelings will be as mine are.” With that he left

****

A person was walking to where Harry was stood, for he was froze to the spot. Did Dumbledore’s portkey work? He was stood outside Hogwarts and it didn’t look any different. Well, that was until the person stopped in front of him. He recognised Dumbledore but this one was younger; he had auburn hair and beard. If he hadn’t already seen him in Tom Riddle’s diary then he would have been shocked.
“Come up to my office young man.” Harry followed him silently. “What’s your name?” Dumbledore asked as they sat down.
“Harry Potter.” The headmaster glanced down at a piece of parchment on his desk.
“Well young Harry. I have a letter here about you. Seemingly…from…myself”
“Yes sir, I’m from the future, you sent me back”
“What happened in the future Harry?” Harry then recounted the whole of his life (his dead parents, his abusive relatives finding out he was a wizard and the yearly battles with Voldemort, extra training with Snape and finally Voldemort’s demise)
“Who are your parents?”
“James Potter and Lily Evans”
“Well it seems that you are in their time, they are currently at school here and unless I’m mistaken you will be in the same year?”
“I’m 16 Sir,”
“Yes, a sixth year just like James and his marauders, Lily and as you mentioned him earlier, Severus Snape” Harry’s stomach fluttered at Snape’s name. He’d come to terms that he was gay. And ever since Snape had started training him he had found himself attracted to the man. Over the next 6 months that had grown and whereas at the beginning of the year he thought he must be mistaken at what he was feeling now there was no mistaking. Harry wasn’t sure whether it was love having never felt love before, but he was sure that it was strong and true. Only one thing kept him from telling Snape and that was that Severus would never feel that for him. “I think we had better call Lily and James in here.” Dumbledore then wrote a note and attached it to Fawkes’ leg.

Lily and James both entered the headmaster’s office looking suitably confused. At Dumbledore’s gesture they both took a seat.
“This is Harry Potter. Harry if you will explain.” Yet again Harry had to recall his life story. He told his parents about Voldemort and how they died and absolutely everything that followed. If they were shocked to begin with then it was nothing to how they looked now. However they both listened intently and had taken everything in.
“Sir, would it be possible for Harry to stay with me?” asked James.
“Yes, that would be the ideal place for him”

So Harry followed James and Lily back to the Gryffindor Common Room. Along the way he told them that Peter Pettigrew was a spy for Voldemort. James was intent on killing his as soon as he saw him, until Harry and Lily counter acted the anger.
“James remember everything happens for a reason. We must have died for a reason.” Lily said.
“Yeah if you hadn’t dies then I wouldn’t have had the motivation to kill Voldemort” elaborated Harry. He also wouldn’t have been the boy-who-lived if his parents hadn’t been killed although this was irrelevant.
“Fate is a funny thing, chances are that you could easily kill Peter now but we would still die anyway” Harry whole heartedly agreed with this and his and his mind argued it’s previous point that if he wasn’t the boy-who-lived then Neville would be and he wasn’t sure he trusted Neville with the fate of the Wizarding world.

By the time they got to the Gryffindor Common Room James’ anger had totally dispersed. In the common room everybody turned to look at the new boy.
“This is Harry, he’s new. Yeah, you can stop staring now” At these words everyone but the marauders looked away. Silently James beckoned them to follow him. All of them went to the boy’s dormitory which, it turned out, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter shared. Another bed had been added and silently Harry thanked Dumbledore. With everyone in the room Harry, with a wave of his hand, cast a locking and silencing charm on the door.
“Ok this may be a bit weird but Harry…Potter is my son from the future.”
“How can that be? Why is he here?” questioned Remus, James looked at Harry.
“You tell him” Harry said so James did. Absolutely everything he told them. Only one thing was left out and that was that Peter was a spy.
“I don’t want anyone to treat each other differently” James said to the shocked faces. Now everyone knew that James, Lily and Sirius were going to dies there was silence in the room.
“So what classes do you have Harry?”
“Um…same as in the future I guess, which means DADA, Potions, Transfiguration and Herbology.”
“Me and Lily are the only Gryffindor’s in Potions,” said Remus. “I wonder who you’ll have to work with. Slughorn made us work in pairs” he explained “me and Lily work together the only person who hasn’t got a partner is Snivellus,” Everyone apart from Harry and Lily cracked up.
“Why do you have to be so mean to him all the time?” With a wave of her wand Harry locking charm was dissipated and she stalked out.

Potions wasn’t as bad as everyone thought it would be, Slughorn called Harry to come and join Severus at the front to work. Harry did as he was told. After giving up trying to make conversation the two worked in companionable silence.

All the potions lessons continued in this manner, Harry desperately trying to make conversation but being shrugged off. They made quite a good pair even if he said to himself.

A Hogsmead weekend came up and Harry went to the Headmasters office trying to get permission. However it didn’t go to plan. Dumbledore wouldn’t let him go; he said he didn’t want too many people knowing Harry was from the future.

Until the next potions lesson Harry was angry. This time he didn’t fail at getting Severus to talk.
“Are you going to Hogsmead?”
“No”
“Can I stay with you?”
“Why?”
“I want to”
“Fine, ten ‘o’ clock in the library” Suddenly the weekend seemed much brighter. After this short conversation the silence was back in place. Although this time Harry *was* afraid of cocking up the potion as he was excited. All of the marauders and Lily were going to Hogsmead. They had offered to stay with him but he said ‘no if he was desperate then he would use the secret passageway that went to Honeydukes sweet shop.’ He didn’t bother telling him that he was spending time with Severus; he knew they’d think he was under some sort of curse. (Except for Lily that was)

Five to ten on the Saturday morning Harry made his way to the library. James and everyone had already left so he didn’t have to make up an excuse. It turned out that Severus was already there.
“Hi” Harry’s only answer from Sev was a nod of the head. “Thanks”
“For what?” YAY he does talk.
“Meeting me” It suddenly dawned on Severus that he didn’t know Harry’s last name.
“What’s your last name Harry?”
“Umm…Potter.” Harry sighed
“Oh God, another one” Severus made to leave.
“Wait. This is different, I can explain.” Giving him the benefit of the doubt Sev sat back down. “You may not believe me but I’m from the future” Severus looked sceptical Harry had a lot of explaining to do. And explain he did. He told Sev about his own life, the war and went on to explain Sev’s life.
“What made me join Voldemort?”
“I don’t know, sorry. Do you believe me now?”
“Yes, I believe you. Are we friend in the future?”
“I s’pose you could say that, yes. I mean when we put our dislike for each other aside we started to get along.”
That was how the day passed, Harry and Sev talked about the future; together trying to work out what made them make the decisions they did. It was harder for Severus as he had no knowledge of the future.

As much as he was enjoying the discussion soon Harry had to leave; to be back in the common room before everyone else. When everyone did arrive he told them he had been studying.

That evening was torture for Harry; James and the Marauders had decided to teach ‘Snivellus’ a lesson. They’d planned on going down late to dinner as Sev was always later (just to miss them) Harry had tried complaining that he was hungry but it didn’t work. All too quickly they were heading down to the Great Hall. Harry was to be at the back, Remus one side, Peter the other and James and Sirius in front. As Severus walked in everyone surrounded him, reluctantly Harry followed. Once he was trapped James and Sirius started taunting and threatening him. There was no reason behind it just for the sake of it. The taunts were about Sev’s mother. Harry could see Severus’ resolve start to slip as he started to shake and back up. Arms slipped around Severus’ body.
“Excellent Harry, now we can show him exactly what we mean” An evil grin spread across James and Sirius’ faces. Meanwhile Snape’s minds was going frantic ‘how he hell was he gonna get out of this one.’ Waiting for the impact he shut his eyes. An odd squeezing sensation took hold of his body and opening his eyes he found himself out in the grounds still within Harry’s arms. Against him Harry sagged. Carefully he pulled himself from the grasp and turned around; Harry’s breathing was laboured. Due to his height advantage he easily half pulled-half carried Harry to the nearest tree. There he sat down and pulled Harry against him; between his legs so that Harry was leant against his chest. Slowly Harry’s breathing evened out yet he made no attempt to speak.
“Are you alright?” Sev questioned.
“Yes”
“Why did you help me?”
“Because, you’re my friend and you didn’t deserve anything that went on in there.” Harry felt tired and was falling asleep “Besides I’m sure you’re mums beautiful…just like you” After the last words were spoken Harry finally gave into the sleep. This was new, no-one ever wanted to be his friend let alone think he was beautiful. Finding Harry’s hand Sev intertwined their fingers and rested there.

When Harry awoke he felt safe for the first time in ages, he also felt the fingers intertwined with his. Smiling he turned around so that he was laid upon the slumped Severus.
“Hi” Said Harry
“Hi, glad to see you’re awake,” he smiled
“You should smile more often.” Another smile graced Severus’ lips.
“Only for you” Now it was Harry’s turn to smile.
“I can live with that.” They were snapped from their reverie by the sound of voices approaching. Harry turned his head in the direction of the voices only to find his father and the others approaching. Finding his wand he pointed it in they direction.
“Put the wand down Harry” Said James
“If you want to hurt anyone then you can go away.” His wand was still pointed at the marauders.
“We don’t want to hurt *you* only Snivellus.” Said Sirius, “He obviously took you by dark magic.” This only severed to enrage Harry even further.
“That is not his name, his name is Severus and I apparated us both out here. Believe me when I say that I have killed a dark lord and I am not afraid to hex you!”
“Harry come here!” Ordered James.
“No, in the future you are my father but not here and I don’t have to do as you say.” Getting off of Severus he held out his hand to help the other. “Did you know that in my 5th year I looked into Severus’ pensieve and I saw all the kind of things you put through? I didn’t want to believe it, but I do now. Did you not hear me trying to stop you from doing this?” At the guilty look on the marauders Harry turned to leave, Severus’ hand still clutched in his
“Thank You.”
“For what?”
“Standing up to them for me”

****
Back in Dumbledore’s office the older Severus was talking to the headmaster.
“I think it’s time to bring Harry back. Severus you will have to be the one to collect him. Have the portkey and invisibility cloak on the table.”
“Yes Sir,” picking up the items Sev made for the door.
“And Severus…” Sev turned back to his mentor. “Tell him.” Severus didn’t want to reply to that so instead he turned and left.

Severus continued to dwell on what Dumbledore said until he decided that it was the best idea; he grabbed a much read piece of parchment.

****
The Yule Ball was coming up and Harry had yet to talk to the marauders again. No way would he forgive them that easily. As a general custom people could take a date if they so wished.
‘Thank God it’s not like the Yule Ball during the Triwizard Tournament. At least I don’t HAVE to take a date’ was going through Harry’s head nevertheless this time Harry wanted to take a date and this time he knew specifically who. Compared to the Muggle World it was not frowned upon by wizards to be gay, in fact it was seen as completely normal. However the downside was that it was not clear whether Severus was gay, he couldn’t really walk up to him and just say “Are you gay?” Running the risk of rejection Harry opted just to ask him to be his date.

Having different classes meant that Harry didn’t see Severus until lunchtime.
“Sev can I talk to you?” hmm was the only response he got before being taken to an unused classroom.
“So what did you want to talk about?”
“Would…will you go…um…go” Smiling Severus decided to put Harry out f his misery.
“Yes Harry, I’ll go to the Ball with you.” It was Harry’s time to smile and he did so from ear to ear.

An extremely nervous Harry was what awaited Severus the night of the ball. Harry had a green dress shirt matching his eyes, black trousers and a dark green velvet robe hanging open. Severus, however, opted for a light blue dress shirt which complimented his pale skin with black trousers and robe.
“Hi”
“Hi” replied Harry his hands subconsciously twisting around each other and in his robes.
“Don’t do that, there isn’t anything to be nervous about” These words had the right effect on Harry who promptly dropped his hands.

Severus and Harry dance the night away, changing moves, speed (and all other aspects of dancing) to the sing. The Wizarding world it seemed had the same tradition as the Muggles with leaving a slow song to finish the night off. Once again Sev and Harry danced. During this dance Harry broke the one rule he’d placed in this time; he kissed Severus. Not out of fear of rejection was the rule placed but simply because it was the older Severus he was in love with. Pulling back slightly Harry dropped his head to Severus’ shoulder praying to what ever God there was to take him to the future before he did something really stupid.
“Goodnight”
“Goodnight Sev” Alone Harry traipsed up to Gryffindor Tower. When he was grabbed and pulled into an alcove be an invisible source he panicked slightly; that was until the invisibility cloak was pulled off and the elder Severus was revealed.
“I’ve been sent to bring you back” Oh, straight to the point. Merlin he’d missed this man.
“May I go back to the tower and see the Headmaster first?” Severus nodded his head.
“I will wait here” As fast as his legs would go Harry tore up to the Tower. Taking a deep breath he walked up to the Marauders. It wouldn’t do to have his only family hating him.
“I’m leaving now,” he announced, “I’m sorry what I said but Severus is a good person.” When nothing was said in response he turned to leave, reaching the portrait hole Harry heard his name called.
“Goodbye” Each one yelled in turn. Heart significantly lighter Harry waved and left for his way to the headmaster’s office.
“Sir, I have to return home now but would you give this to Severus?”
“As you wish Harry. Bye”
“Goodbye Sir”
Slightly slower Harry ran back to the Alcove.
“Professor?” He questioned when he saw no one there. The invisibility cloak was removed again.
“We will be portkeying back unfortunately.” Harry couldn’t help a snort that came forth. Sure Snape may not like to portkey but he was sure that he didn’t fall on his ass whenever he used them.
“Put a finger on it then” Doing as he was told Harry shoved a finger on the object after a word from Snape they both found themselves back in Severus’ personal quarters. The only difference being that Harry was (as said) on his ass whilst Severus was still on his feet.
“God Potter” Surprisingly a hand was offered and Harry took it and allowed himself to be yanked to his feet.
“Thank you for bringing me back Professor. I’ll leave you now.”
“I got your letter.” Harry looked at him incredulously. “The letter you gave to Dumbledore before you left. I got it” For once in his life Severus Snape didn’t seem sure of himself. He took the piece of rumpled parchment from his pocket and handed it to the younger man.

Dear Severus
I have to leave you now, I’m sorry. I’ve been told I have to go back to the future. There was not enough time to tell you face to face. With any luck Dumbledore will give this to you, I hope so. I want to say thank you because you helped me to understand the future you. Something I have tried and failed to do many times.
I feel sure that we will meet again. What am I saying I know we will. When you are older and I…well I am the same age. I will miss you.
Love
Harry

“You kept it?”
“I did” Harry’s real question was why.
“Why?”
“I loved you.”
“Loved?” Harry’s heart sunk.
“Love you.” It soared again. “The real question though is whether you love the now me or the then me we are two totally different people?”
“You, the now you. Its always has been. The past helped me understand parts of you but I have only ever loved you now…” before Harry could continue a mouth was sealed over his. A passionate kiss followed where each tongue fought. “Bed?” Harry questioned.
“Not yet. You’re still a minor and I will not loose my job for you brat.” Came the affectionate answer. It was going to be a long six months.