This is the Way I Die

Author's note--Happy Easter, everyone!!! Had I thought of this earlier, I would've had it written before Easter, but alas! My muses are the last-second kind, it seems. I was up all night last night trying to finish this so I could actually POST it on Easter.

As you (hopefully) know, this is a continuation of the "This is the Way I" series. HOWEVER, the fourth installment ("Break") is still in production as a chaptered fic, while this is a WAFF oneshot.

I know the title might seem scary, but TRUST ME! (and if you don't trust me, remember that there is still another installment AFTER this one, so of course Harry and Draco don't die!!!)

Basically, this oneshot is set (timeline-wise) after "Break". I know that you guys haven't read "Break" yet because I'm still in the process of writing it. Because it's angsty, I hope that this reassures you that the series WILL return to the original intent of being playful, sarcastic, funny, and not super angsty.

Don't worry...you don't NEED to know what happened in England in order to understand what's going on in this fic, but I will be posting "Break" at some point. So "Die" opens the day after they get back from Spring Break and are back at college. (So if that was anyone's unanswered question about whether Harry and Draco would stay in London or return to the AU/AR setting...they return.

A lot of the same type of sarcastic religious humor is back in this oneshot (c'mon, it was too easy!) If you liked "Pray", hopefully you'll like this one too.

Again, Happy Easter (your present is a couple of hot sex scenes at the end!) and I hope you enjoy!!!

Prompt "You've just turned Holy Week into a Holy Hell" (paraphrased from the chef at my church where I still help out as a youth director)

WARNINGS If anyone is offended by religious cracks (some are directly aimed at believing, prayer, Jesus, and God) then DO NOT READ THIS. The views expressed and things said in this story are in no way representative of my own beliefs. If you want to know what I believe, ask me.

This is the Way I Die by Graballz

Harry Potter took one look at the clock and groaned mightily. It was the Monday evening after Spring Break; Harry and his boyfriend, Draco Malfoy’s flight from England had been delayed and so they hadn’t gotten as much sleep Sunday night as they anticipated. They had both dragged themselves out of bed dutifully to attend classes while jetlagged, but the emotional turmoil of the week had taken its toll on them as well. After his classes, Harry returned to their apartment and hit the bed facedown and didn’t move until his alarm clock went off, reminding him of the newest commitment that Draco had roped him into.

Since Harry and Draco were freshmen, they hadn’t known, but the Gamma Alpha Upsilon fraternity had a tradition of putting on theatrical productions during Holy Week, which was the week between Palm Sunday and Easter. The services were always held in the campus chapel, and were widely attended by students, faculty, and the community. Even those who didn’t go to church regularly (like Harry and Draco) were generally present at one or more of the Holy Week services.

Apparently the president of the fraternity had reminded Draco sometime during the morning because Draco was nearly beside himself at lunch with the news. Harry had no idea how Draco wasn’t falling over because he himself was about to collapse, hence the after-class nap. Draco had gone to the fraternity house for the planning meeting, and Harry was strictly instructed to come later for the informational meeting.

Not feeling as refreshed as he would have hoped, Harry once again dragged his protesting body out of bed and splashed some water on his face, hoping that it would help him look more presentable than ‘death warmed over’. The quick walk to the frat house woke him up more, though he wasn’t exactly the definition of ‘cheerful’ by the time he got to the front door.

Draco was standing with some of the upperclassmen at the front of the room, and Harry smiled automatically at the smug importance in Draco’s expression. He gave his boyfriend a little wave, taking his place on one of the couches amidst his other friends, who, as Harry predicted, had forgotten all about Draco’s little pre-Spring Break meltdown.

The president opened the meeting, and Harry quickly realized that most of the information was for the benefit of the freshmen, since the older brothers had participated in these activities before. It was the only week of the year that fraternity parties were strictly forbidden AND the rule upheld. (Even during Alcohol Awareness Week, the Gamma Alpha Upsilon brothers did their part to be aware of alcohol, though not in the manner the student government-sponsored speakers usually preferred.) Generally the only difference from year to year with regards to the activities was which part the brothers would play. Some had standard roles that they had played for two, three, or four years, while the parts of those who graduated the year before would be handed out.

The first service, Harry learned, was held on Palm Sunday—the week before Easter—which was two weeks from yesterday, and that meant that Easter Sunday was three weeks away. It sounded like plenty of time to Harry, but the president assured them (and he noticed that most of the upperclassmen were nodding in agreement) that it would fly by. For Palm Sunday, the story of the donkey and Jesus riding into Jerusalem (with which Harry and Draco were not familiar) would be reenacted. Several local congregations provided the families who would line the ‘streets’ and wave palm branches as ‘Jesus’ and his ‘disciples’ entered. Harry made a mental note to uncover the Bible Draco had gotten from the Wesley Foundation during one of the free lunches and look up these stories that were apparently well-known to the other brothers.

The services held on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday were not observed by all Christian churches. These had very specific purposes—to show the transition of Jesus from a ‘blessed Savior’ to ‘condemned to death’. Jesus driving out the merchants from the temple was the focus of the Monday service, and a parable (which was a story with a moral behind it, according to the head of the planning committee) of the ‘Farmer’s Son’ would be reenacted on Tuesday. On Wednesday, a couple of girls from the Kappa Upsilon Nu sorority would join them for the scene at ‘Mary and Martha’s house’ which was pivotal to the story.

The drama of the Last Supper, based on the portrait painted by Leonardo DaVinci, definitely WAS observed by all Christian churches, and because it was so well-known, Dylan, the head of the planning committee, let Draco explain it, even though it was his first time. Harry perked up, winking at the blonde as he assumed command of the room effortlessly.

“The Last Supper was a meal shared by all of the disciples and Jesus,” Draco began. “He washed their feet,” Draco wrinkled his nose. “And after telling them that one of them would betray him, we will go into each disciple’s individual monologue. These speeches are supposed to be their thoughts, so it’s like they are talking to the audience—”

“Congregation,” Dylan corrected.

“But the other disciples don’t hear them,” Draco gave their friend an acknowledging nod. “It ends when Jonas—”

“Judas,” the head of the planning committee grimaced this time.

“Walks out of the room, and then the Good Friday service begins with Jesus in prayer in the garden of Geth—Goth—Gethsem—oh, screw it,” Draco gave up on pronouncing the word, much to the snickering of his frat brothers. “He’s in the garden and Jonas—Judas!—comes up and betrays him. Then he’s arrested and taken for crucifixion.”

“On Saturday, the ‘body’ will be moved from the cross to the tomb, and then on Sunday morning, the reenactment will be Mary and the disciples finding the empty tomb,” Dylan finished up. “It’s quite involved, but it counts as basically all of the community service hours we need.”

“Are there any non-religious activities?” Scott (the other freshman, right?) asked, raising his hand.

“There will be an Easter egg hunt before the Saturday service,” Dylan replied. “All of the local children will come, and I’m not much for kids, but they are ADORABLE!”

“And now, to assign parts,” the president broke in, motioning for another member to step forward. It turned out that most of the fraternity brothers would play duel roles as merchants, scribes and Pharisees, and soldiers. The twelve men who played the disciples and the brother who would be Jesus had the most involved parts, and Harry noticed with a groan that Draco’s eyes were gleaming, a sure sign that he had wiggled his way into playing one of the more important parts.

“As you all know, Jesus graduated last year, and he had been Jesus for us for the past three years,” George said, pronouncing the first name with a Hispanic accent and the second as the Western pronunciation. “After much deliberation and debate, the role of Jesus this year goes to a rather new performer, but we have it on good authority that he will be able to get inside the Savior’s head like no other…”

“Fuck, no,” Harry whispered accidentally, his eyes going wide. ‘Please, let it be someone else!’ He prayed.

“And so say hello to our new Jesus, Harry Potter!” George exclaimed, motioning for Harry to stand. The Gryffindor blushed a deep red as the entire house broke out in cheers and whistles, smiling on the outside but vowing a horrible and painful death to his boyfriend on the inside.

The main cast was requested to stay behind so that the planning committee could hand out their scripts for the week. Afterwards, some of the brothers disappeared back to their rooms, but most paused to shake Harry’s hand and rib him about ‘forgiving their sins’ and other inappropriate religious innuendos.

“Congratulations, Harry,” a voice purred seductively in his ear. Under normal circumstances, that voice got Harry’s blood flowing, but this time, he turned around and pierced his Chestershire-cat-grinning boyfriend with an intense green gaze.

“What have you done? Why me?” Harry pitched his voice low, letting anguish creep in more so than anger.

“Are you really going to make me explain?” Draco arched his eyebrow and put his hands on his hips.

“You do realize that you’ve just turned Holy Week into a Holy Hell,” Harry informed him, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Pessimist,” Draco chided gently. “You’ll be brilliant; it’ll all work out.”

“Easy for YOU to say,” Harry glowered. “Who do YOU get to be?”

“Mary Magdalene,” Draco smiled sweetly, an angelic expression suddenly appearing on his face.

“I thought one of the Kappa Nu girls was going to be that,” Harry protested, and Draco moved closer, batting his eyelashes.

“Normally they are, but it’s widely speculated that Mary Magdalene could have been Jesus’ lover,” the blonde smirked. “And no one plays that role but ME, speculation or not.”

Harry couldn’t help the laughter that tore from his throat or the way he threw his head back; Draco’s Slytherin side had shown through loud and clear, and Harry loved him for it. That was what made him Draco, Harry mused, and he suddenly found that his irritation had lessened quite a bit.

* * * * *

They settled back into their daily routines with ease. Draco found time during the week to take each of their friends aside and personally apologize for his outburst at the frat party the week before Spring Break. As predicted, they each forgave him (and understood when Draco explained about his mother in vague terms) and the entire incident was put to rest. Harry’s irritation with Draco returned full-force when he attended the first rehearsal for Palm Sunday not knowing his lines.

He had gotten a stern, and unwarranted, in his opinion, lecture from Dylan about how Jesus was THE central focus of the entire week (to which Harry rolled his eyes; uneducated heathen that he was, even HE had figured THAT out) and how Harry needed to take his role seriously and “learn his lines!” The Gryffindor had had to refrain from laughing in his frat brother’s face when he delivered the order as if it were a threat. Harry had been expecting something a little more, well, threatening; after all, he had faced down Voldemort and won, so remembering lines was nothing to him.

By Sunday (one week until Palm Sunday; two weeks until Easter) Harry had gone through his entire part and had learned the entire script, which impressed Dylan, George, and the other directors. He delivered his lines with a passion and sincerity that brought tears to their eyes, having been oddly touched that the green-eyed boy playing Jesus could make the part seem so REAL. The following week was spent perfecting Harry’s actions and blocking while he said his lines, and teaching Harry how to sit sidesaddle on a donkey. He had ridden horses before with Draco, but at first, he nearly fell off the ass (onto his ass) several times before he got the hang of balancing on the slippery, bony back.

Draco had insisted that Harry lengthen his hair to play Jesus so that they didn’t have to get a wig or fake facial hair. The Gryffindor used a small dab of wandless magic every day to make his hair grow until it was the approved length. He also ended up with a beard and moustache that he would spell away every night and recharm the hair to grow every morning since it itched so badly. Draco had to admit that a bit of scruff was rugged and handsome, but too much facial hair was a turnoff; he preferred Harry clean shaven. The night before Palm Sunday Draco had also used a bit of wandless magic to turn Harry’s hair more of a brunette color, rather than black, and right before they started the service, the brothers had to admit that Harry Potter made one stunning ringer for Jesus Christ.

The Slytherin, for his part, also spelled his hair longer and completely brown to play the part of Mary Magdalene. He didn’t care for the women’s robes the sorority lent him, but Dylan insisted that he wear them, since “that’s the way it was back in Bible times!” Draco was sure that if he never heard THAT phrase again as long as he lived, it would be too soon. He was supposed to be part of the palm branch crowd in Jerusalem, near the center, and as Jesus rode through the city, certain people would step up to him and he would ‘heal’ them from the donkey or lay hands on them. Draco, as Mary, was to be the last, and Jesus was supposed to dismount from the ass and embrace her, thus ending the drama.

The fraternity had used a picture of Harry as Jesus on the flyer for the Holy Week services, and on Palm Sunday, the crowd was a bit larger than normal compared to past years. Harry hadn’t forgotten his lines and only faltered on the donkey once, but that was because the animal jumped sideways at the last second, so it wasn’t his fault. He only wobbled, so it wasn’t like he fell off, but his expression was so controlled and serene that the crowds hardly noticed. The tender and loving embrace between Jesus and Mary had brought the scene to life for many people, and the pastors told them later that several people had prayed to accept Jesus due to their performance.

* * * * *

Monday’s angry scene went smashingly as well. The crowd was the same size as for Sunday, which was a noticeable difference from the last year’s attendance. Everyone cringed when Jesus’ face crumpled as he surveyed the desecration of the temple by the merchants and the money changers and shook when he destroyed it in his rage. Even the older fraternity brothers who were experienced at playing the merchants admitted to being ashamed in ways they’d never considered before after hearing the lines fall from Harry’s lips. Draco hadn’t had a part in that drama, but he was in the congregation. He wondered briefly whether the masses would be less affected if they knew that the ‘Jesus’ they saw that night went back to his apartment and pounded his boyfriend’s arse through the mattress, especially since Draco had been hard and practically leaking since Harry began yelling. The ‘religious leaders’ had played their parts beautifully, ending with a vindictive pantomime about how to best deal with the new problem: Jesus.

* * * * *

The parable of the Farmer’s Son on Tuesday was told by Jesus at the newly restored temple while a crowd (including Mary Magdalene, batting her eyelashes every so often at Jesus) sat at his feet. Harry’s voice was a natural for storytelling, and he had learned the parable well. It was an analogy and a foreshadowing of his death, since the story was about a man who owned a vineyard, and he rented it to a caretaker to tend it and divide the grapes at harvest time. The owner sent a helper to gather his share of the harvest, but the caretaker would not let the man have it and beat him up, as well as a second and third messenger sent from the owner.

The owner decided that if he sent his son, that would get the job done, but the renter realized that the boy would inherit the land, so he killed the son in order to keep the land. The analogy was that the Pharisees and the religious leaders was the renter, and that Jesus was the Son who would die. The temple leaders again had the final scene, making plans to arrest Jesus, but the trouble, they pointed out, was that he was still extremely popular.

* * * * *

Draco’s first starring role came during the Wednesday service, since that was the day Jesus and the disciples were to go to the house of Mary and Martha for dinner. The sorority girl who was supposed to play Martha, Mary’s sister, fell ill with bronchitis and was bed-ridden, so the president of the sorority stepped into her place. Martha didn’t have any lines, but she served the meal dutifully. After the meal, Mary knelt at Jesus’ feet with a large jar of ‘expensive perfume’ and anointed the Savior’s feet, using her long hair to dry them. Though they had practiced it regularly (sometimes with Draco using something edible instead of ‘perfume’ and his tongue instead of hair), the significance of the action settled over them as the congregation looked on.

The fraternity brother who had played Judas Iscariot the year before, Nathan, was a football player, broad-shouldered and commanding. He also spoke with an eloquence that belied his bulk since Judas had been elected treasurer among the disciples. His stern rebuke of Mary’s actions sent shivers down everyone’s spines, and the contrast of Jesus’ calmness stunned them.

* * * * *

While Draco didn’t have a part in the Last Supper drama, he assisted with the behind-the-scenes work of readying the table and making sure the guys had enough real food on their plates to last through the hour-long service. Harry had a short part at the beginning, and then, as Draco had explained, each disciple stood and spoke for a little over five minutes, voicing their internal thoughts and motivations for the congregation. They had practiced the ‘Last Supper’ pose that the entire table struck as a transition between monologues when the lights went brighter.

There was a spotlight on the speaker and a dim overhead light on the rest of the table, so the other disciples were supposed to continue to eat, drink, and ‘talk’ and basically ignore the speaker, until the end when Jesus gave the bread and cup. He then invited the congregation to come to communion, administered by the local pastors at several stations. The drama ended with Judas walking out, tossing his bag of coins at the foot of a wooden cross in the middle of the sanctuary so that everyone could see, and then he continued to the back and disappeared.

* * * * *

The attendance for the Good Friday service was unreal. News of the ‘best Jesus since the original’ had spread and everyone wanted to see for themselves. The congregations had steadily been getting bigger each night, but there were as many people for the Good Friday service as there were normally for Easter Sunday! Due to the graphic nature of this particular service, children were not allowed, so it was all adults and students who came to watch.

It opened with Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane, and there were several people sobbing by the time he was arrested, knowing what was to come. The crucifixion scene was perhaps the most difficult for both Harry and Draco, based on their past experiences with real crucifixion and the movie. The Gryffindor was able to endure the beating without a problem; a new freshman played the soldier who was supposed to whip Jesus, and though they had capsules ready to break (and spill fake blood, for authenticity), the boy didn’t always land the whip on target. He missed several times and accidentally actually got Harry several others, and he didn’t have to fake his shaking as the other soldiers pulled him up and led him to the cross.

Draco’s tears were very real, and Robert, who played the disciple John, had a hard time restraining the lithe blonde (who was a brunette that week) while Jesus was being ‘nailed’ to the cross and lifted up. Robert lived across the hall from Mark (one of the other behind-the-scenes people) and so he had gotten to know Draco and Harry more than the other seniors. He knew that Draco had a flair for the dramatic, but he almost lost his grip on Mary more than once as she struggled, crying freely and openly, wailing for Jesus as he was crucified.

At that moment, everyone in the congregation was crying, including big, tough men who had never cried a day in their lives. Harry himself was crying, breathing heavily, as he drew upon the feelings of betrayal he felt whenever he thought about the memories from Snape’s Pensieve and about how Dumbledore had kept him alive to die at the right time.

“My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?” Harry cried out brokenly, beseeching the heavens, his emerald eyes searching for an answer. The only other sounds aside from crying was Draco’s voice, softly chanting “no, no, no,” over and over again.

“Father, into Your hands, I commend my spirit!” Jesus bowed his head and appeared to cease to breathe. No one noticed the slight twitch of his fingers, but the ground rumbled for the briefest instant. The black curtain that had been hanging over the main stained glass window split down the middle with a harsh tearing sound. It was still hanging, but now it was in two pieces as the entire congregation gaped. Even the actors and fraternity brothers who could do this production with their eyes closed stopped and stared; THAT hadn’t been in practice! Even Draco, who knew immediately that his boyfriend had used wandless magic to make that special effect, was floored by the poignancy. The room fell completely silent; even the sounds of sobbing had ceased.

“Truly, this man WAS the Savior,” one of the guards said in a voice that was clearly dismayed, awed, and terrified. He was a sophomore but was a new pledge, and though he messed up the line, Draco shivered as his arms goose fleshed and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He looked up at the Savior of the wizarding world, once again overcome with all that Harry had sacrificed to protect them all and began to sob once more, which triggered more tears from the congregation, listening to the heartbreaking whimpers of true lamentation.

After the performance, both boys were rather somber and subdued. They forewent sex in favor of cuddling, and Draco found tears leaking out of his eyes against his will several times while snuggled securely against Harry’s chest. He could feel wetness from his boyfriend’s eyes drop onto his scalp, and he knew that the Gryffindor was crying also. They ended up falling asleep on the couch, with Harry curled into one end, Draco leaning on his chest with their arms wrapped around each other.

* * * * *

The Easter egg hunt on Saturday morning was just the thing to cheer Harry and Draco up. They had woken, stiff from their night on the couch, but when Draco whined and protested going because he ‘didn’t feel like it’, Harry pulled him up and prodded him out the door. The little kids running around trying to find the eggs with the best prizes lifted their spirits immensely; to Harry’s private amusement, he saw a two or three year old with Draco’s white blonde hair and figured that that was what Draco must have looked like as a toddler.

It wasn’t very difficult for Harry to remain completely limp as he was taken down from the cross during the service. He had endured lengthy Crucios from Voldemort after he was supposedly dead and managed to remain boneless. Being lifted from the wood onto a pallet in the tomb was nothing, though Harry had to fight several times to keep from scratching his nose. Luckily, it was the shortest part of the drama, though that didn’t stop the attendance from being small.

* * * * *

The service on Easter morning was set for sunrise, to which nearly double the usual number attended! Mary Magdalene walked up the aisle towards the tomb and found the heavy stone at the entrance rolled away. She paused, the basket of linens and oils falling to the floor as she took a step back with her hands over her mouth in shock. Quickly she turned and ran down the altar steps, stopping at the first row of pews.

“He is gone! Come and see!” She cried, clutching her breast.

There was quite a dramatic gasp from the room when the disciples poured out of the back of the room, coming from all sides and running down the aisles as Mary stood, pointing at the tomb.

Harry made his entrance from the choir loft and walked down to Mary, head held high and smiling serenely.

“Do not hold onto me,” he admonished gently as Mary took his arm in wonder. The disciples gathered on the steps in a half-circle, and Mary joined them as Jesus turned to the congregation. His palms were turned up with the nail holes clearly visible. His bare feet didn’t really show under his robes, but when he lifted them to show the disciples, the signs of the stigmata were there as well. As Jesus raised his hands up, the junior who played Simon—the man who helped Jesus carry his cross up to Golgotha—walked in, shouldering a cross that was overflowing with freshly cut Easter flowers and placed it in the holder right in front of Jesus. There was another gasp as Jesus disappeared from behind the cross! Again, only Draco knew that Harry had retrieved his Invisibility Cloak from England where he had hidden it. The other fraternity brothers assumed Harry was something of a magician, which wasn’t all that far from the truth, necessarily, but he staunchly refused to reveal the secrets of his tricks.

There was a celebration meal served after the services held at the regular times, which were also packed, and Harry and Draco stayed for it along with the other fraternity brothers, congratulating each other on the most successful and meaningful Holy Week ever that was, in large part, due to Harry and slightly lesser, Draco. The entire crowd gave them a standing ovation when Dylan thanked them publicly, and Harry once again blushed furiously as he sheepishly nodded to all of the people clapping.

* * * * *

As Harry had predicted, Holy Week had been Holy Hell, and Monday was the ‘Holy Frat Party’ (as it had been affectionately dubbed). Harry and Draco were in attendance from the beginning, drinking strongly with the best of their friends. Luckily Tina was NOT on the rag, so she was back to her sarcastic, funny self. She had attended the Good Friday service and found herself sobbing along with the rest of the people, as had Marian.

“Harry, love, I gotta tell you,” Tina exclaimed loudly. “That was some dying shit you had going on! And I do believe Draco is right, for once; Jesus is not shit. Jesus is THE shit, and YOU were THE SHIT playin’ him!”

“What do you mean ‘for once’?” Draco squeaked indignantly. “‘M always right!”

“Of course you are, tiger,” Marian replied, winking at him and receiving a teasing glare in return.

“Thank you,” Harry slurred modestly. “What can I say? This is the way I die.” He stretched his arms out, beer can in one hand, and looked up, pleading with the ceiling before bowing his head in a mock rendition without the lines. The entire group was captivated once again and broke into spontaneous applause when Harry looked up and grinned, taking another swig of beer.

“Harry, I think you’re invincible,” Draco’s head snapped up in a drunken epiphany. “I don’t think you CAN die.”

“What are you going on about?” Tim’s brow furrowed.

“He almost died, like, every year since I’ve known him while we were in school,” Draco explained as Harry’s eyes widened. “He didn’t die as a baby, an’ then he DID die, but he’s back…so I just don’ think you can die, Harry.”

“Shut up, Draco,” Harry murmured sweetly, snaking his arm around Draco’s waist inconspicuously and squeezing him too hard.

“Maybe he’s a cat,” Todd wiggled his eyebrows and made several meowing sounds, licking his hand and smoothing it through his hair in an imitation of a cat grooming itself. “Nine lives.”

“So does that mean Draco has a pussy?” The entire group cracked up over Scott’s smart-ass question.

“I don’t care HOW many pussies he has,” Derek quipped jovially, not quite so freaked out by Draco’s attitude towards him anymore. “I still don’t want him hitting on me.”

“No, he just gets horny and rubs up against the first thing with a hard dick,” Todd looked pointedly at Harry, who raised his beer can in salute as they collapsed into another round of near vomit-inducing laughter, stumbling to the bar for more drinks.

The frat party went long into the night as they all made up for lost time; Draco eventually passed out on one of the couches, not even able to make it up to Mark’s room, and Harry ended up on the floor at the blonde’s feet, curled over his knees with his head in Draco’s lap as he snored.

* * * * *

Draco blinked several times to make his eyes focus and yawned as he realized they were still at the frat house. A soft weight in his lap made him look down, and his heart beat faster at the sight of Harry snoozing (and drooling) peacefully. He flexed his fingers, feeling the blood rush into them and carded them through his boyfriend’s messy black locks, glad that it was short again. They had both changed their appearances back to normal on Sunday night, much to their relief.

The blonde massaged Harry’s head to rouse him. Harry looked as if he had yet another hangover; Draco sympathized, helping his boyfriend from the fraternity house back to their apartment. He propped Harry up in their bed, fetching aspirin and water and then set about peeling Harry’s clothes off, intending to make the Gryffindor more comfortable. Harry caught Draco’s hands after he tugged Harry’s trousers off, guiding them to his lap.

“You know what we celebrate on Easter?” Harry asked huskily, and Draco hid a smile, shaking his head. “The Resurrection; I got your res-erection…right here.”

“Well, hello there,” Draco matched Harry’s tone as he stroked the Gryffindor into full arousal through his underwear.

“What was that line from the song?” Draco asked innocently as he poked Harry’s cock through the hole in his boxers. “‘Up from the grave, he arose’?” The blonde leaned over and fastened his lips around the head of Harry’s dick, causing a sharp intake followed by a groan.

“Oh yeah, baby,” Harry gasped. “Bring that back from the dead.”

“Now THAT,” Draco interrupted the blow job to reproach his boyfriend, “is blasphemous…on SO many levels.”

“Just shut up and suck it,” Harry said in a raspy but affectionate voice, pushing Draco’s head back into his lap.

“Yes, my god,” Draco smirked, deep throating Harry’s length expertly. Harry’s eyes rolled back as he opened his thighs wider.

“Didn’t Jesus tell Mary to put her finger on the nail mark?” Harry asked suddenly, and Draco only needed a second to puzzle out the riddle.

“Do you want me to touch your hole? Do you want my hand on your side?” Draco licked lower, swirling his tongue around Harry’s balls, getting his answer.

He readjusted, kneeling between Harry’s knees and bending his legs to his chest. Harry held his own backs of his knees while Draco touched his hip lightly with one hand, skimming up Harry’s side as he gently probed Harry’s whorl with the pad of his finger.

“Yessss,” Harry hissed, panting and flushed as Draco lay on the bed and buried his face in Harry’s genitals, alternating between licking and touching his hole, never letting Harry become accustomed before surprising him with a new stroke.

By the time Draco had coated his finger (and Harry’s arse) with enough saliva, entry was easy and Harry was moaning wantonly as Draco’s finger penetrated him, making him whimper for more. Draco quickly prepared and stretch Harry since he hadn’t bottomed in a while, but Draco’s own erection was growing painful. He stripped while Harry watched and lazily stroked himself, jade eyes darkened with lust.

“Touch me, Draco and make me whole,” Harry ordered as Draco retrieved the lubricant and sliced his throbbing member. The Gryffindor was holding himself open, ready and waiting, by the time Draco got back to the bed.

“Oh, fuuuuuuuuuck,” Draco drawled as he pressed himself to Harry’s rosebud, grinding his hips subtly to impale his writhing boyfriend. “Oh Jesus, you feel so good!”

“Yes, Mary, you love me!” Harry arched as Draco languidly rolled his hips against Harry’s bum. He mistook Draco’s exclamation for role-playing, and the blonde grinned as he leisurely slid his cock in and out of Harry.

“God! Yes, I love you, Jesus! I love you forever,” Draco panted back.

“You believe in me,” Harry chanted. “Oooo, love me long and hard…just like that! Harder! Faster!” He squealed as Draco picked up the pace and folded him in half at just the right angle to fuck his prostate mercilessly.

“Are you ready to cum?” Draco pistoned his hips back and forth, feeling his orgasm build swiftly.

“Yes, cum into my kingdom,” Harry agreed, grabbing his leaking dick and pumping the shaft, dropping the act and all pretense as he came hard, splattering his stomach with white blotches as he screamed Draco’s name.

“Harry,” Draco moaned in response, grinding deeply and holding as he released a small flood into his lover.

Suddenly exhausted and shaky, Draco laid down on top of Harry, not caring that they’d have to pry apart once Harry’s spunk dried. The Gryffindor tucked his boyfriend’s blonde head under his chin, kissing the slightly oily strands as he put his arms around Draco, closing his eyes in satisfaction.

“Happy Easter, love,” Draco mumbled, not caring that Harry’s first class should’ve started ten minutes ago. He knew exactly when Harry realized it was Tuesday, not Sunday, because the Gryffindor gasped and tensed for a second and then relaxed, accepting that he was cutting classes that day.

* * * * *

“Now that’s the best cure for a hangover I can think of,” Harry stirred a little while later, running his hands over his lover’s bare skin and realizing belatedly that he probably should’ve grabbed a blanket. Draco shivered a bit as he disentangled himself from Harry’s arms and padded to the bathroom to start the shower.

Draco had just climbed into the warm water when Harry entered to relieve himself of Draco’s seed, and then the Gryffindor poked his head in.

“Private party or are guests allowed?” He grinned.

“Jesus is always a VIP,” Draco murmured, his cock twitching with interest as Harry joined him under the spray.

“Mmmm, but I like you better than Jesus,” Harry reached out and drew the other boy to him, tracing circles on Draco’s pale flanks with his calloused hands until he reached the blonde’s buttocks, which he began kneading.

“What a coincidence,” Draco put his hands on Harry’s shoulders, rising up on the balls of his feet in pleasure as Harry’s hands massaged his arse, fingertips teasing up and down his crack. His half-hard cock quickly inflated while rubbing against Harry’s wet stomach, and he could feel Harry’s answering desire against his thigh. “You’re the only savior I want.”

“Good, because you’re all mine,” Harry moved them back just a bit so that the water wouldn’t spray him in the face as he tilted his head and kissed his lover gently. Draco gasped aloud when Harry finger-fucked his bum, alternating between the individual fingers on each hand.

Draco worked his lips against Harry’s hungrily, trying to keep control of himself as Harry would slide one finger in, wiggle it around a bit, pull it out, and then slide another finger in from a slightly different angle until Draco was panting and out of breath. He broke the embrace for a second to reach over and pick up the bright green dildo that Draco hadn’t even noticed was sitting on the edge of the tub! It was roughly the same design as the black one from the flight to London, Draco observed, except that the shaft was a brilliant green, as were the beads in the clear tip.

“When did you…” Draco’s voice went dry as he watched Harry raise it to his lips and begin licking the tip, never breaking eye contact.

“Week before last,” Harry said, meaning the week before Holy Week. “My Spanish class was cancelled, so I ran over to an adult store to pick one out. I think we both know why I waited until this week to break it out, but you knew I was dead serious about wanting to fuck you with one of these things, right?”

Draco swallowed hard, his definition of ‘interested’ hitting new peaks. Upon comparison, Harry’s cock was actually slightly bigger than the dildo, but Draco was still intrigued about having something else up his arse besides his boyfriend’s familiar tool. He watched Harry slide the green phallus about halfway into his mouth before he removed it and took Draco in his arms again, reaching around behind him to separate his arse cheeks and nudge the tip against the blonde’s waiting hole.

Harry bit his lip as he bent his knees just enough to get the angle right, not wanting to injure Draco as he slowly worked the toy into Draco’s arse, wiggling it to make sure it didn’t stick or cause painful friction, but the water also helped with that. He watched his lover’s eyes flutter in rapture as Draco’s knees almost gave out. The Slytherin supported himself on Harry’s upper arms, caressing his cheek against Harry’s wet collarbone as he was stretched and filled with the foreign-feeling object.

“Are you okay, love?” Harry asked in a low voice, and Draco nodded, trying to grind back into Harry’s hand. The Gryffindor grinned evilly and dropped to his knees, deep throating Draco unexpectedly as he withdrew the green shaft, leaving the clear tip inside Draco’s channel and shoving it back in smoothly just as Harry pulled his mouth off of Draco’s cock, touching only his lips to the head.

“Ah! Whoa…yes, fuck, Harry,” Draco babbled, VERY unused to the sensation of being fucked and sucked at the same time. Harry smiled around Draco’s prick as he continued his ministrations until Draco jettisoned into Harry’s waiting mouth and he swallowed.

“Now turn around so I can watch this thing fuck your pretty little arse,” Harry commanded, leaving the dildo inside Draco as the trembling blonde turned his back, pressing his hands to the wall to keep himself upright.

Draco nearly collapsed right there in the shower as Harry began to move the dildo in and out, standing very close behind Draco in a way that it could have been Harry’s cock inside of Draco, except that the tip of Harry’s leaking member constantly brushed across Draco’s left arse cheek as he was fucked slowly at first. His trembling intensified until he was stone hard again due to the gradually increasing speed and pressure Harry used.

“Fuck yeah, baby,” Harry growled, wrenching the dildo completely out of Draco’s bum with a ‘pop’ and before the blonde could react, Harry grabbed his hips and slammed his own cock into him.

Draco’s head shot up and he moaned when he was emptied and filled quite roughly. The familiar feeling of Harry’s cock up his arse was exquisite after being teased almost to the breaking point, and Draco squealed his approval, humping back into Harry as the Gryffindor immediately set a blistering pace, touching Draco’s sweet spot with nearly every thrust. The blonde’s hands scrabbled for purchase on the smooth wall of the shower, finally reaching up and hooking his fingertips on the top of the splashguard.

Harry grunted and came, still pounding into Draco with all of his might, as soon as the blonde stretched, lengthening his body. He loved the way his boyfriend keened, striping the wall in front of him just after Harry.

Draco thought he was going to go cross-eyed after that much pleasure; luckily, Harry still had a firm grip on him because he leaned back into his boyfriend’s strong arms, all of the strength drained out of him by the savage and fiercely arousing lovemaking session.

“Dear sweet Jesus, I AM going to die if we use that thing EVERY time,” Draco finally managed to gasp out.

“What a way to go, though,” Harry chuckled. “That good, yeah?” Even in profile, Harry could read Draco’s ‘what do YOU think’ arched eyebrow. “Fan-bloody-tastic.”

“Next time, you get to see how good it feels,” Draco turned so that he and Harry were face-to-face in each other’s arms.

“And just think,” Harry nuzzled Draco tenderly. “That wasn’t even with the thing turned ON.”

“You can turn an inanimate object on?” Draco asked skeptically, not understanding.

“No, YOU can turn an inanimate object on, you sexy thing,” Harry joked, retrieving the dildo from the floor of their shower where he had dropped it. They continued to cuddle while the water rained down on them, examining the green-shafted dildo in Harry’s hand. “Maybe next time should be YOUR turn again because…” he paused for dramatic effect. “It vibrates.”

**********

Notes about this oneshot:

The references to the stories from the Bible are all correct and factual to the best of my ability, even if the structured use of them as 'enactments' and 'dramas' is my own idea.

Palm Sunday Usually in the Christian church, the procession of the palms is done during a regular service by a bunch of children. There generally isn't a donkey or a drama for this day of Holy Week.

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday There are generally not services on these days during Holy Week, but I thought it would be cool if there were. And if there were, this is how I envisioned them to be. The content of the services (Jesus driving the merchants out of the temple, his parable, and Mary washing his feet with perfume) are all factual from the Bible.

Maundy Thursday This is generally the first day (since Palm Sunday) that there is a service. My church did a reenactment of the 'Last Supper' (based on DaVinci's painting) and I was in charge of costumes, make-up, hair/wigs, set, props, and even did a little directing! All of the details in the story are based off of my church's rendition this year.

Good Friday The service for this day of Holy Week is usually somber and a little depressing. Normally there isn't a reenactment of Jesus being crucified during the service (but I based that scene loosely from the movie "The Passion of the Christ") so that's different.

Also, remember from "Dance" when Harry and Draco went to go see '300' in the movie theater and Draco was so disturbed by the crucifixion scene in it? Same sort of principle here, except that his distress and PTSD is real and not acting.

Saturday Usually churches or communities have Easter Egg hunts on this day or non-religious Easter activities for all ages of children. There is generally not a service.

Easter Sunday Usually there is a regular service on this day of Holy Week (not a reenactment of the tomb being empty). The flowered cross is a tradition at my church, and there is a hymn that is usually sang during the service that includes the line "Up from the grave, he arose" that Draco parodied later...

Judas, Gethsemane, Golgotha, Simon I'm assuming that most or all of you know the basic plot of Jesus' betrayal, death, and resurrection, regardless of whether you believe it or not. These words might be unfamiliar, and since Draco used them without explaining, I thought I'd explain here.

Judas was one of Jesus' disciples, the one who betrayed him. Gethsemane (geth-sehm-ann-ee) is the name of the garden where Jesus was praying with his disciples for strength to be able to go through with what must be done (his suffering, beating, and crucifixion).

Golgotha (goal-goth-uh) is the name of the place where Jesus was crucified and died. Literally it means "Place of the Cross" (I think), but it was a hilltop where they made Jesus march to.

Simon was the man who was in the crowd, watching as Jesus passed by, carrying his cross. (The Romans whipped him and then made him carry his cross from town out to the hillside where he died.) Jesus faltered and fell, and the soldiers made Simon help him carry it. Then the significance also comes in when Simon carries the blooming cross into the service as a symbol of the fact that not even death can stop Jesus. (or Harry for that matter...lol)

Mary Magdalene If she EVER appears in a drama (which is quite rare), she is played by a woman. The Bible (and traditional beliefs) infer that she was a redeemed whore who ended up being one of Jesus' main disciples (though not part of the original 12). If you've seen the movie "The DaVinci Code" then you know that there was speculation about a sexual relationship or at least a companionship between Jesus and Mary. This is why Draco insisted on playing Mary, even though it meant him cross-dressing.

Now, some of you might be wondering why he was allowed to cross-dress for a church service...and the answer is that the congregation didn't know (since Draco made such a believable girl in nondescript robes lol) and he pitched such a fit in the fraternity that they agreed. Afterwards, they were really glad they did because of how moving it was, but I like the irony that 'Mary' and 'Jesus' were actually two gay men...(Yes, I am a freak...and no, my youth group kids know NOTHING about how I feel on this)

Gamma Alpha Upsilon and Kappa Upsilon Nu The fictitious fraternity and sorority I created...GAY and CVN (YAY COVEN!) And just in case anyone wanted to know...yes, the president of Kappa Upsilon Nu was moi (sorry, girls!) and so yes, I played Mary's sister, Martha. *wink*

Finger on the nail mark This is a reference to the story where Jesus appeared to the disciples after he was resurrected from the dead. Thomas (also called Doubting Thomas) asserted that unless he put his finger in the hole in Jesus' hand where the nail had been or put his hand in Jesus' side where the soldier pierced it while he was on the cross (not depicted in my fic), then he would not believe Jesus had really come back.

I just took it and made it really dirty after the sermon this morning, when the pastor said, "And Jesus said, 'Touch me. Put your finger in the nail mark'" etc...I started cracking up IN CHURCH every time I thought of a dirty reference to add to this story! (I'm SO going to hell *grin*)

Love me long and hard This is a play-on words from the oft-quoted phrase "Jesus loves me". The next step (on the road to hell) is "Jesus loves me long and hard every night"...but it worked better for 'Jesus' to say "love me long and hard"...so yeah...

In fact, that entire sex scene was pretty much meant to be really crackish and corny, with nearly every line being from a church service or the Bible with a dirty connotation.

Author's note--Well? You like? I know...some of the religious references/cracks are a bit...in-depth and overly cheesy, but I hope it make you laugh (or groan).

Considering that some people think Harry Potter is a metaphor for Jesus ("saving" the world by sacrificing his life), I thought it was quite fitting that Harry played Jesus for the drama. I hope you thought so too!

Lastly, I have to say that I am really, really pleased with this idea. I wanted to title one of the installments "Die" but I was having trouble conceptualizing it (plus it would've created more angst than I wanted in this series) so I left it out until the idea hit me for an Easter fic, set after Spring Break (even though I haven't gotten Spring Break completely written yet). This way, Harry "died" without dying, AND we get back to the religious parody that inspired the original oneshot!

Thanks for reading, and I will be back soon with "Break" (which is set between "Fall" and "Die")!

Love,
Graballz