Snape Episodes

Episode I: In which Snape cannot hold an erection.

“But Sevvie...” Harry whined pathetically, practically jumping up and down in front of Snape. Both were locked deep in the dungeons in the best place, or so Harry thought, they could possibly be- Snape's bedroom. And of all things, Harry wasn't even wearing that much. Girls underwear (because he liked that his cock kind of stuck out the top and his balls kind of stuck out the bottom) and his button-up school dress shirt.

“How many times do I have to tell you... insolent twerp,” muttered Snape. Today was just not his day. He had spent the entire morning yelling at Neville Longbottom because he had yet again blown up a perfectly simple potion (Snape personally thought that he did it on purpose and all the stuttering in front of him was just another Quirrell impersonation). And if that wasn't debase enough, the boy-who-will-suffer-in-many-detentions Longbottom had to spill a type of impotency potion on him.

You could see what his problem might be.

Here was the hottest student in the history of his teaching career (barring his godson of course... he just had to give the silver-eyed man props for that), and he couldn't get it up. Oh, he'd tried all day: thought-inducing potion, seduction potions (on himself, the horror he'd go through if Harry actually found out), lust potions (against, lusting, but there was nothing to show for it, not even the slightest drop of precum), and even... THINKING about massaging his prostate. Not that he did that, mind you. Just the thought of it, however, should have made him as hard as any teenage boy after seeing what Harry was like after Severus pounded on his prostate for a while. Gooey mess on his perfectly nice sheet (and not the cumming kind either, more like the person kind.)

How they had gotten themselves into this mess of being locked in a room with no hope of escape bewildered him also. It was probably the perv who ran the school and disguised himself behind the grandfatherly facade that had locked both Severus and Harry in his room. Damn perv... They seem to live forever...

A hand suddenly cupping his lower extremities made him squeak just the tiniest bit, but luckily Harry was so preoccupied in trying to raise Snape's 'status' that he didn't notice the offending reaction from the sexiest teacher alive. (And truly, he was the sexist teacher alive, it had been in Witch Weekly, and nearly all of the girls from Hogwarts believed in Witch Weekly, so the majority of the school's opinion outweighs the other half's opinion bar none.

“Just what do you think you're doing Mr. Potter?” Snape growled and slapped the offending hand away. “Damn you, I already told you I can't get it up.”

“Not even if I prod the little snaky a little bit?” pouted Harry, reaching his hand towards Snape's small snake pant again.

“Don't you dare, or you'll find yourself on the receiving end of the castrating curse!”

When they were rescued in the morning, Snape was sleeping in his bed and Harry was duct-taped to the ceiling. As Dumbledore unlocked the door, and took a peek to look in on the both sleeping males, he shrugged and figured that it was just some new type of fetish in which extraordinary amounts of duct-tape were used. Although for the life of him, he couldn't tell how they fucked.