Snivellus Avenged

In response to my own challenge (http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600015172), because I wouldn’t ask you all to do something I’m not willing to at least attempt…

Oh, and about that ‘one chapter’ nonsense, it is SO not happening. This story has run away from me already. What can I say? Severus is feeling angsty.

Also, for purists, there is not going to be an overwhelming amount of James Potter in this fic. I don’t like him. Still, if you don’t like this story here, let me know and I’ll move it.

Story: Snivellus Avenged
Chapter One: All of These Emotions, Tangled up in Pure Confusion*

Severus Snape sat in the shade of a row of considerably sized shrubs above the lake. A terrible look of dark jealously and anguish crossed his face as he beheld the scene below him. Lily Evans, the love of his life, was unabashedly making out with James Potter, his arch-nemesis, on this sunny day so close to graduation… after which they would doubtlessly go on to a happy life together. And him? What did he have? Some powerful friends, a special place in the organization that would soon revolutionize the wizarding world… that was nothing to sneeze at. But he didn’t have Lily. It was no fair; he had wanted her longer, he had her first, damn it!

The notes of a soft, feminine giggle were brought to Severus on the warm, Spring breeze. His eyes were directed to that stupid git lowering his girl to the ground on her back, snogging her shamelessly in public—sure, there was no one around, that they knew of, but did he truly have no shame? Did he think her so cheap; the kind of girl to commit such acts in plain view of anyone? And what of her? If she had stayed with Severus, she would have been treated -right- and not like some cheap… Oh, but the sounds she made as he reached down to caress her breast under her blouse with his unrefined paws. The way she arched into him, shamelessly wanting more…

Severus pulled his wand out of his robes, somewhat uncoordinatedly in his anger, and began blasting the unfortunate aphids and beetles which happened to be on the shrubs. He couldn’t look at her anymore. He was suddenly sick. Potter was a disgusting pig with no respect for anything. Lily was… beyond words. How could he possibly appeal to her? What did he have to offer that Severus didn’t? Was calling her “mudblood” once, while dangling upside down, half naked, and at the mercy of his enemies, no less, so much worse than antagonizing her and her best friend for years and years? How -could- she?

Standing up, brushing off, and stalking back toward the castle, toward the dungeons and safety, Severus felt tears stinging in his eyes. That just pissed him off. If she chose Potter, let her have him. He didn’t care, he didn’t… He proceeded to take those feelings out on a row of perennials in the courtyard. Upon arriving in his own common room, he encountered Mulciber lounging on an emerald green settee. In spite of his prayer not to be noticed, he heard his name being called, somehow miraculously through the roaring effect in his ears and the stinging effect in his eyes.

“Not now,” he somehow managed to choke out, hoping it didn’t sound as strained to Mulciber as it did in his head. On second thought, Mulciber was too thick to be able to pick up on subtleties such as emotions. “Homework.”

Speeding up, Severus headed for the privacy of his bed. It didn’t matter that it was the middle of a glorious Sunday, he wanted to be alone in the dark. He slammed his books to the floor, landed on his bed, and drew the curtains. After some quick spells to ensure his privacy, he let loose with a truly frightening show of emotion, screaming, cursing, sobbing, all included. He hated himself so much more intensely after such outbursts. ‘Weak… weak,’ he admonished himself even as he allowed his emotions free range. His gut felt as though it was lined with sandpaper as it churned; he felt as though someone had crossbred a porcupine with a particularly hyper niffler and let the result loose in his ribcage. His entire body was consumed in an icy fire. Yet all these sensations had nothing on the turmoil in his mind, in his heart. Somewhere between ‘stupid mudblood’ and ‘sweet Lily’ was the true Lily Evans, the love of his life and the truth was that he would never have her. He had to shut it down, had to take control.

Entirely unbidden, the image of Lily snogging that fucking awful James Potter raised itself to the forefront of Severus’ consciousness, except, instead of Potter, Lily was giggling and gasping under -his- ministrations. Against all odds, Severus felt himself becoming aroused; ah, the joys of being a teen-age male. ‘Maybe this is just what I need,’ he thought as he mentally pursued the pleasures of kissing and touching sweet Lily. How she would gasp in surprise as his lips captured hers; how she would moan acceptance when he slipped is tongue into her mouth to duel with hers. Unlike that beast, he would seek permission before having his way with her body. Of course, she would not deny him. He would touch her, gently, reverently. It was all about, it was only ever about, making her feel good. ‘Making her feel good so she would stay with me,’ his Slytherin mind amended. And she would make those sweet sounds. Then his Lily, the Lily in his mind, ran her fingers down his chest, further down his torso to the place he most wanted her to touch. He broke their kiss and let out a sound beyond description, all joy, all happiness, all pleasure in a single, drawn out syllable. Here, in the privacy of his bed, in the privacy of his mind, Lily Evans would only ever be his. This thought pushed him over the edge and he came on his hand. He lifted his wand and cleaned himself up before falling into a slightly less-agitated-than-usual sleep.



A/N: I am writing this as I go, in tandem with the beginning stages of my thesis. I will do my best to update soon. Please let me know what you think.
* From Colbie Caillat's song Tailor Made.