Broken by the Rules of Love

AN- Ahhh I wrote this after listening to a bunch of depressing music. The title comes from Sarah McLachlan's 'Do What You Have To Do' which is such an amazing song. She's pretty much amazing actually. And a big fat duh for the disclaimer, I am not J.K. Rowling, I wishhh.

Anyway, this story isn't intended to be depressing. In the end true love overcomes all obstacles :)

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Harry arched up into the light kisses trailing his body, the slender pale fingers that caressed his skin. He moaned his need and was rewarded with a brief meeting of lips, his own hands twining into the inky black hair of his lover. He pressed their lips together harder, wanting - needing the kiss of his soul mate. Severus gasped into the younger mans mouth, which Harry used to his advantage, sliding his tongue into the warm wetness above him. Their kiss was passionate, urging fueled by emotions too primal and basic to truly understand.

Harry slid his hands over the chest of the man above him, tracing every scar and imperfection, worshipping, eliciting gasps and moans from his lover. Severus used Harry's distraction to his advantage, biting the pale column of the younger mans neck, nipping and sucking in a way he knew would leave marks of his ownership.

"My Severus," Harry breathed, staring unseeingly at the ceiling as the older man kissed his way down Harry's bare chest and stomach. Harry moaned low in his throat, as his lover gently parted his legs, settling between his thighs, pressing warm wet kisses to the delicate skin. He couldn't help from crying out as he felt the slide of a strong tongue against his entrance. Severus ran his tongue from his lovers tight hole across his perineum, over his already tightening balls to the tip of Harry's cock, gently swirling his tongue around the tip in a way he knew drove the younger man wild with desire. He wasn't disappointed when he heard Harry keen with need.

Sensing his love's impatience, Severus leaned up, positioned himself and slowly slide into the tight heat of his lover. Once fully seated, he tilted forward and pressed a gentle kiss to Harry's lips. Harry wrapped his legs around the older mans slender waist and urged him to move, Severus obligingly setting a steady pace. They kissed leisurely, enjoying the gentle build of anticipation, no longer feeling the need for urgent coupling as they once had. Much too soon, Severus began to sense his impending orgasm. He slid his hand between their stomachs, softly stroking Harry to completion.

Harry fought his orgasm as long as he could, not ready to give up the feeling of Severus. When finally he gave himself over to the grips of pleasure, he cried out, unconsciously bringing his lover to completion. When Harry finally opened his eyes he found the midnight gaze of his soul mate staring straight through him. Severus captured Harrys hand in his own and pressed it against his chest allowing Harry to feel the racing heartbeat. Harry felt the tears spring to his eyes as he stared into the face of the man he would love for eternity.

"I love you," he sobbed quietly, conceding to his emotion as the tears spilled over his cheeks. Severus didn't speak, he never did, but Harry could see the love in his eyes. It was always his eyes that gave him away.

~~♥~~

Harry awoke to find his bed empty and cold, not that he'd expected anything else. He sat up suddenly, swinging his legs over the side of his too-big bed, cradling his head in his hands as he sobbed. Tears poured down his cheeks, his nose ran and he knew he was probably drooling but he made no move to wipe his face.

Those damn dreams! He cursed colorfully, grabbing a half empty bottle of firewhiskey from the nightstand and hurling it at the wall. The resulting crash wasn't nearly as satisfying as he'd hopped, but Harry wasn't surprised. Nothing was satisfying anymore. Slowly he eased out of bed and padded gingerly to the bathroom, his body still sore from a night spent making love. He stood before the mirror, ignoring his tear stained cheeks to peer at his neck. As expected, he was sporting a large dark purple love bite. Harry felt the rage well within him, his magic swirling around him angrily, until the mirror shattered.

Seven years bad luck, Harry snorted contemptuously. He remembered the first night he'd woken from a similar "dream" with proof of his and Severus' activities. At first he'd thought he was hallucinating, that he'd finally cracked under the pressure. After a distressed conversation with Hermione, Harry learned it was due to the soul bond he and Severus shared. They were soul mates. Harry couldn't believe they hadn't discovered it until after his lovers death, the information had brought about another wave of depression.

Harry surveyed the broken glass around him and with a sigh of exasperation, waved his hand to repair the mirror. He turned then, to the potion cabinet just to his left. He remembered when Severus had installed the magically filling cabinet, the way Harry had laughed and told Severus he had unhealthy separation issues with his beloved potions. Severus had merely rolled his eyes, claiming that one day Harry would be thanking him. And he was, as he perused the various potions. He skipped over the Dreamless Sleep, it had long ago stopped working for him, before snatching out a vial of Draught of Living Death.

Harry took the vial into the sitting room, where he lit a fire and settled into his dead lovers favorite chair. If he focused hard enough, Harry could just make out his scent. Earthy, like rain and sandalwood. With that in mind, Harry summoned a crisp white button down shirt from Severus' chest of drawers. Harry slipped on the large shirt and let the fabric consume him along with his thoughts.

He thought back to the day that they had confessed their love for each other. It was the summer after Harry's seventh year, and the young Gryffindor had stayed behind to apprentice in Defense with Professor Lupin. Yet despite the friendship of the werewolf, Harry often found himself in the dungeons, in the company of the temperamental Potions Master. Their tentative friendship has begun during the year before, when Severus had once again attempted - and succeeded - to teach Harry Occlumency.

Severus was working on a potion for Madame Pomfrey, listening to Harry talk about his work on the apprenticeship when the Dark Mark had flared. He was quick to collect his heavy velvet robes and Death Eater mask, and was almost to the fire place when Harry called to him.

"No!" Severus turned around impatiently to find Harry with tears running down his face.

"What do you mean 'no'?" He asked slowly.

"Don't," he stepped forward. "Don't go."

"Harry, I have to go."

"But..." Harry glanced nervously at the floor, dragging his toe across the stone.

"But what?" Severus rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Harry, you're making me late."

Before Severus could attempt to turn around Harry was in his arms, pressing their mouths together urgently. Severus stiffened for only a second before melting into the kiss. When finally Harry pulled away, he looked up into the glassy black orbs pleadingly.

"I - I love you." Severus gasped quietly at the admission before kissing the younger man chastely.

"I love you too Harry," he cupped Harry's cheek softly. "But I still must go."

Harry had stayed in the dungeons that night, until Severus returned, exhausted, the next morning.

Harry smiled fondly at the memory before the cold grips of reality snatched away the feeling. Harry blinked and looked around the sitting room, as if remembering where he was. He grimaced before summoning an unopened bottle of firewhiskey from the liqueur cabinet. Harry drank deeply, enjoying the burn of the alcohol sliding down his throat.

He choked slightly on the drink as a sob racked his body. It wasn't supposed to be like this! Harry was supposed to kill Voldemort and live happily ever after! Hadn't he suffered enough?! he thought hopelessly. Did he really have to watch the love of his life murdered before his eyes at the hand of a megalomaniac lunatic?

The final battle had been bloody, for the other side. Oddly enough the Light had suffered little to no tragedy. Few people were hurt, and no one was killed, except, of course, his Severus. The irony of it was enough to drive Harry to madness, of course he would be the only one to suffer. That had been less than a month ago.

The thought brought Harry momentarily back to reality, searching out the vial he had taken from the bathroom. Severus had made it very clear which potions could be taken with alcohol and which couldn't, and the Draught of Living Death was definitely not in the positive group. Briefly Harry wondered how much alcohol he had imbibed before downing the potion.

It took less than thirty seconds for Harry to realize he was going to die. Instead of the expected fear and worry, Harry was over come with blinding happiness. He was going to see Severus again. His heart soared as he rose on unsteady legs to slowly make his way to the large writing desk against the wall. Harry fished out a self-inking quill and a spare scrape of parchment.

No point in worrying anyone, he thought, his mind hazy with the potion.

Ron & 'Mione,

Please don't think I did this to hurt you. I love you both very much. But I know that I can never be happy here, and death is a most welcome release. I will finally be with Severus again. Take advantage of your new found freedom, live long, fulfilling lives in peace knowing that I am happy now.

Your Best Friend, Harry James Potter.

Harry staggered back to his chair, clutching the note in his hand. He pulled Severus shirt up and breathed deeply the scent of his beloved. His Severus. They would be together again soon.

~~♥~~

When Harry opened his eyes, he was in the same room he'd fallen asleep in. For a moment he thought the potion hadn't worked and that he was still alive, until he looked around the room. There, across the room from him, sitting casually on the couch reading a book, sat his soul mate. Severus looked up at the sound of Harry waking.

He smiled softly at the younger man, "You are so impatient my Love."