Here With Me

I roll over, twisting my body in the sheets. ‘That’s odd.’ Draco’s such a blanket hog that I usually end up freezing in the night, or snuggled really closely into him. Where did he go? Can’t be too far.

“Draco?” I call out, unsure of where he is, I don’t want to move, or else I fear that I’ll lose the spot in my mind where my whole life is perfect.

I pull the blankets closer to my chest. Where’d he go? He never leaves. That’s when I notice the crumpled note laying on his pillow.

I don’t know how to say this, but Harry, he’s gone. He’s gone forever. I know you won’t believe this, but that’s why I had you write you this. He’s dead. You can’t do anything about it. I know I’m harsh, but you have to realize that I couldn’t be gentle on this anymore. It’s been nearly a year, you have to move on.

The instant I’m done reading it I remember placing it there the night before to remind myself the next morning so I don’t wander around the house wrapped in the sheets looking for him until I came our of my sleepy stupor to remember in some other part of the house and have a break down there. I’d much rather do that in bed.

Oh gods. Our bed. Why did he have to be claimed like that? Taken from me years before we could have a real future and get out of that forsaken war that brought us together in the first place. WHY?

I can’t breathe.

I can’t move.

All I can do is lay here clinging to my tatty note that I put into bed with me every night so that I can wake up and remember and get on with my day quicker. I can’t hide forever.

Why were you taken? Why wasn’t it me? I don’t want to move incase I’ll lose your memory. There’s a picture of us on my bedside table that I stare at sometimes. It’s the autumn when the war was just finished, we’re at the park, we’re playing in the leaves, throwing them at each other, then calling a truce and hugging each other and even a peck on the cheek before you shove a handful down the back of my coat. Hermione took it the week before you were killed by one of the last Death Eaters that hadn’t been rounded up yet. We were out together that afternoon, you had to run down to the apothecary and my feet were sore so I stayed in the Leaky Cauldron. I should’ve gone with you, been with you when the light left your eyes instead of hearing the screams out on the street and come out to find you laying lifeless with your head tilted back, eyes still open, yet glassy, staring at me.

I can’t leave this bed, our bed, risking forgetting everything that we were and could have been.
I can’t move. I can’t breathe.

“WHY?!” I cry out into the silence, hoping for some type of answer from the cold depths of our home that seems to laugh at me now.

I curl into a ball, gripping the note and your pillow. I can still faintly smell you, I think.

I won’t leave this bed. I can not be…not until you’re resting here with me.

I turn to the picture and you’re smiling back at me. The tears seem to flow harder and stronger then ever.

I don’t want to call Ron, he’s tired of this shit, so’s Hermione. I just want you resting here with me.

I won’t leave, I cannot be.

I pull the sheets around me. I take the picture and the note and your pillow with me. I pad my way down to the kitchen. I turn the note over and find a quill and some ink.

I’m sorry; I can’t go on in this miserable existence. I need to be with him. I hope you’ll understand.

All my love,

Harry

Tears are still running down my cheeks, I can’t avoid them, what has my life come to that I have no other options?

I pull a paring knife out of the block and nick my wrist, good and deep. I pull our sheets and the picture to me. I feel the hot red life leaving my body behind, slipping into the sweet unconsciousness that is death.

“I’m coming to you, my love.” I whisper with my last breath.

***

A/N: Not sure where the hell this came from. If you've read any of my other works you know I'm a fluff master. This is dedicated to: Graballz who edited this when my regular beta Ruinithil was on vacation (and because she had a hell of a day and still posted, HUGE kudos to her!), and Ruinithil who was in disbelief that I wrote angst and squeeeed her heart out. I love you both! I hope that you enjoyed this on some level, if not, please don't flame me (especially since today is my birthday!) but concrit is always appreciated. Yes, it is my birthday, and I'm feeling rather lonely, so leave me some love?

Until next time, Draca

PS: I've just started a multichapter fic that will be OH! SO! FLUFFY! So stay tuned for that!