Always

Severus lay in his bed watching the clock intently as it ticked slowly, waiting for the time to come. He was to meet his dear friend, Lily Evans, by the river at a quarter to eleven. It was ten thirty, with only fifteen minutes left to wait. His heart began to beat anxiously and a trickle of sweat went down his forehead. He had not seen her since their graduation from Hogwarts, and the thought of being able to look into her beautiful green eyes again was overwhelming for the boy. The letter she had written to him had truly taken him by surprise.

He twirled his wand in his hand as small sparks flew from it. To be able to get out of his house without Tobias knowing he would need a miracle, but he would be willing to give his right arm in order to see Lily again. He need not worry for his mother, since she was in terrible condition ever since his last year at school.

Only five minutes left, he thought as he looked in the mirror. He ran a hand through his hair, which looked cleaner than usual. Severus’ face was pale, and small bags hung beneath his eyes. These were the effects of living in an unbearably stressful home. He kept messing with his hair before deciding Lily most likely would not judge him based on his appearance.

Climbing slowly out of window, the leg of his trousers stuck to a nail and he tugged harder than needed and fell on his arse into a garden of dead flowers. “Damn it,” he muttered, examining the large tear in his pants. Wiping himself off, he slowly climbed to his feet and walked along the sidewalk of Spinner’s End, quietly finding his way down to the river.

The moon was shining down upon the water as it rippled softly, and the slender form of a girl was soon visible. His heart skipped a beat and he began running over to before he gasped out, “Lily.”

She turned to look at him, her auburn hair flowing behind her back. Lily tucked a piece behind her ear and slowly took a step towards him, “Severus… How are you?”

Her gaze burnt a hole through him as she examined his features and noticed the tear he made a few minutes before. “I’m brilliant… brilliant,” he repeated, stepping closer, but being careful not to invade her space, “And you… h-how have you been?”

“I’m okay. James and I have been having some troubles lately, and I felt I needed to see an old friend,” her lips trembled and she gave a weak smile. She looked worn, tired. Like she had not slept for days. But all the same, Severus still thought she looked amazing.

“You look exhausted, Lily… How are you feeling?” Severus said, without thinking. He placed a hand on her shoulder, but quickly removed it when she reacted to his touch.

“I’m…” she stopped, “I could be better. But that isn’t why I’m here. I heard your mother is not doing so well—”

Severus scoffed, “Yeah well, if I was married to a bloody fool like my so called father I wouldn’t be so healthy myself.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her eyes sparkling beneath the moonlight. It sent a shiver down his spine.

He shook his head, “You need not worry about it…”

The both of them stood there for a moment in silence, as a gust of wind began to blow across the sky, making the both of them become cold. For a moment, Severus lost himself in the beauty of the water, as it moved slowly along the bank, the moon still shining down upon it. It was only a matter of seconds before his eyes returned to the features of Lily’s face and he spoke, “I’m sorry, Lily…”

She reached up to remove a strand of hair from his face, but did not say anything. She only listened.

“I’ve been…” he searched for the right word, “Horrible, I guess you might say. I’ve chosen some of the worst things over friendships, over love. I have done things I thought I was never capable of doing. My life is headed into a downward spiral… into something…” Severus took a deep breath, “Dangerous.”

Lily looked into his eyes, her hand still placed on his hair. She slowly moved it to the side of his face and Severus found himself leaning into her hand, his eyes closing for only a brief moment before spoke again. “Explain.”

“Lily I’ve…” he took another deep breath, “I’ve joined the Dark Lord.”

Her reaction made him to want to hold her as he saw tears creep up into her eyes. When it came to her, he was not proud of what he had done. When it came to her, he wanted to take it all back, but knew his love for her could never be appreciated because of James Potter.

“I’m not proud, not when I know how it makes you feel,” he said quickly. “Lily please listen,” he said, grabbing her hand as a tear fell from her eye. “Ever since we stopped talking, I’ve craved power. I’ve craved for something more, something to show everyone who has ever belittled me that I am not weak.”

“But you’re not weak, I’ve always known that,” Lily said softly, holding onto his hand like her life depended on it. “You’re one of the strongest people I know…” she suddenly became very quiet and her eyes went directly to his left arm. He knew what happened next. She began to reach over to pull up his sleeve when he stopped her.

“No,” he said firmly.

Lily looked up at him sternly, “I have the right to see.”

“No, you don’t,” he roughly tugged his arm away from her and she looked taken aback. “It’s my choice, my life! If I don’t wish for you to see, then you should damn well respect that.”

Slowly, Lily wrapped her arms around him. It took Severus a moment before he wrapped his arms around her too, kissing the top of her head. He rested his chin on her shoulder and looked out onto the distance.

“Besides,” he began, his voice whispering into her ear. “It’d be best if you didn’t see. You’re too innocent for something such as this.”

Lily pulled away from him, gripping his shoulders. Their bodies were still pressed together, keeping the both of them warm. Her malachite eyes stared intensely into his dark ones. It drove Severus crazy with anticipation, wanting to know what sort of mystery lay within her soul. He opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when she pressed a finger to his lips.

“Severus…” she said softly.

“Yes, Lily?” Severus said, restraining to keep all the emotions, all the passion, from taking over him.

“Tell me…” her eyes would not leave his, “Tell me that you still care about me. That you want to change, that after all that has happened, you still care.”

A lump arose in Severus’ throat as he tried to look into her eyes. “Lily, how could you ask me something like that? Despite all of the horrible mistakes I have made, I could never stop caring about you. Since the day I laid eyes on you at the park, you’ve driven me crazy. That mysterious look in your eyes and the way you flip your hair… Everything about you drives me wild. The way you so curiously wondered about the world of magic that I was so willing to tell you about… All of it, I love every single thing about you, Lily Evans. Not even Potter could stop me from feeling the way I do about you, even if my life depended on it. Not even Voldemort himself could tear my love for you away. If it meant sacrificing my whole life to protect something that you love, I would do it. I love you Lily, I love you,” he said in desperation as tears flooded from his eyes onto his cheeks. He was sobbing now as Lily pulled him into another embrace.

“Severus,” she said, crying onto his shoulder. She looked him in the eye once more, “That is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.”

“I mean every word of it,” he said, trying to stop the tears that were coming from his eyes. “You’ve never looked more beautiful than you do tonight, Lily Evans.”

Her slim fingers trailed across his cheek as she nuzzled her face into his neck, placing a gentle kiss there, onto his cheek, then on his lips. When she began to move her face away from his, he stopped her with his hand and kissed her full on the mouth, passionately.

She moved her arms up to entwine in his hair, which for once, felt incredibly soft and inviting for her hands play with. Lily kissed him with all the love in her heart she had ever stored, as the both of their tongues mingled and danced together in each others mouths.

Reluctantly, he tore away from her and gripped her hand. “Take me to your home, one last time, before you leave there forever.”

The two of them apparated into a tan colored bedroom, with flowers on the curtains and a very warm and welcoming bed beside them.

Severus pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her gently. The both of them fall back onto the bed, their bodies wrapped together. He straddled her down beneath him as the both of them continued to kiss. His hand gently roamed across her chest and stopped at the bottom of her stomach. He knew to continue by the look of lust in her eyes that burned into his. He undid her pants and pulled them down, revealing her curves.

He let his hands roam aimlessly down south, resting his hand on her inner thigh and rubbing her seductively. She gave a slight moan of appreciation and began to undo his trousers, letting her hands lightly trail down into his boxers.

Severus leaned up and pulled down his trousers and his boxers, revealing his erect penis. He leaned down and brushed his lips against her neck whispering in her ear, “Lily… Please.”

She nodded slowly, holding the back of his head as he placed warm, gentle kisses on her neck. He waited a moment before speaking into her ear again. “I’ll be gentle, I promise.”

Lily shivered and grabbed onto his sides as he placed his arms on either side of her head, supporting his body. His erection was only mere inches away from the warmth of Lily Evans. The thought of this drove him wild as he closed his eyes and slowly let the tip of his manhood tease her. Then, he let his full length push all the way inside of her.

“Oh Sev,” she moaned out quietly, keeping in mind that her parents were sleeping just downstairs. She gripped onto him more tightly, praying he would treat her right. A rush of pain shot through her, but it was like nothing she had ever felt before. Even James had never made her this aroused before. There was something about Severus that was so passionate, so… true.

He gripped onto the sheets of the bed tightly, before pulling out and pushing himself back in once more. The walls squeezed him tightly as he throbbed within her. His insides were screaming with need. He wanted nothing more than to make a faster, harder, steady pace. But he knew that she was not ready, so he squeezed his eyes shut and continued this for a few minutes.

Lily began to moan appreciatively, and was no longer feeling any pain. Instead, sweat began to form on the sides of her face, and she was rubbing his sides, begging for more. “Harder, Sev,” she whispered in his ear as he began to suck on her neck, leaving very noticeable marks.

Without any hesitation, he let his elbows rest on the bed and began stroking her hair as he pushed deeper into her, his erection still throbbing. He began saying things to Lily that was incoherent, but still made sense to the both of them. “I love you Lily, I love you so much… Oh god,” he panted, as she arched her hips up and squeezed at his sides.

“Right there,” she gasped out as his whole body began to shake with pleasure.

“Tell me…” he hissed in her ear, nipping at her earlobe, “Tell me you want it as much as I do, Lily.”

“Oh god, Sev,” she said, louder than she had wanted. “Please, don’t make me talk…”

“Tell me,” he said firmly, as her body began to shake with his. His climax was coming, and she was about to orgasm.
“I can’t, please, just don’t stop…” she moaned.

He bit the side of her neck, making her yelp with pleasure. “Tell me, Lily. Please tell me.”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, you know I want it Sev, I want it now!”

He began to move faster than ever before and the both of them began moaning continuously and before they knew it, the both of them were shaking uncontrollably and he came inside of her, and she let out a long, satisfied moan as their tempo came to a slow stop.

Severus kissed her forehead, stroking her slightly wet hair as she panted heavily. He pulled out of her and lay next to her and continued kissing her softly. “My sweet Lily…” he said, wrapping a blanket around the both of them.

He placed another firm kiss and gently nipped at her bottom lip. He only pulled away slightly; their faces close together as they stared into each others eyes. “That was amazing. I love you more than words can explain.”

Lily smiled at him and kissed him once more. “I love you too Severus. I always will.”

As he started to get up to gather his clothing, she grabbed his hands. They said nothing but he understood. He pulled away, their hands lingering until they finally let go. He stood at the doorway and smiled at her, his face etched with sadness. “I’ll see you again some day, Lily. Some day.”

She lay in bed, listening closely as his footsteps wandered away from her. Soon afterward, she went over to her window and watched as his slim figure walked slowly along the street. She was never really sure, but she could have sworn she had heard him crying.