You did it again
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,351
Reviews:
8
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,351
Reviews:
8
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
You did it again
You did it again.
I know.
You promised you wouldn’t.
I know.
You promised to YOURSELF.
I…
Then why did you?
…
Oh, please! You can’t still love him! After all he did?
It’s not his fault…
It never is. So who are you going to blame this time? The unloving Muggles he grew up with? I’m getting quite tired of THAT excuse.
They were heartless…
Potter’s not the only one who had a hard childhood. Do I have to remind you of Lucius? No, of course I don’t. You still bear the marks of his… affection, don’t you?
Please don’t…
Alright, if not the Muggles, then who do you blame? The Dark Lord? Of course, he did have a unique talent to complicate matters. You think it would have been different had you not been on different sides from the beginning. Do you blame Lucius for forcing you to take the Dark Mark? Do you blame the Dark Lord for choosing you to be the angel of death to the only man Potter ever could look up to as a father figure? Or do you blame yourself? Tell me, Draco, do you blame yourself for not preventing his death? Do you blame yourself for being weak? Weak as you still are…
What do you…?
You’re still too scared to admit why you didn’t ask for Potter’s help, why you kept making pathetic attempts to kill Dumbledore. You wanted to punish Potter. To punish him in the worst possible way for not seeing you. For always choosing Weasley over you.
Stop it…
Oh, did I hit a nerve? Yes, it was always Weasley. He was the best friend, the loyal warrior, the one Potter would miss most – yes, do you still remember the pain of realization? And HE was the one to show Potter what love meant. And what were you? The slimy git who made life unbearable, the Slytherin who deserved nothing but loathing, and almost being killed by the one he desperately loved. Do you remember lying on the cold bathroom floor, drenched in your own blood, and not thinking of death but the way Potter’s arms felt around you. Do you remember feeling happy for the first time in your life? And do you remember being at Grimmauld place? Do you remember being forced to sleep in their room? Do you remember the agony of being woken by their moans of ecstasy? Do you remember getting harder with every little gasp Potter made and how you wouldn’t allow yourself release? Do you remember wishing Weasley had died from that mead he had accidentally-
Stop… please, stop… I… Harry’s mine now…
True enough, he is sleeping beside you now. But he’s not yours. His heart belongs to Weasley…
No. He… Ron’s married now, has kids… And Harry has me…
Keep lying to yourself, Draco, lies are all you’re good at. He doesn’t want you, he wants Weasley. And you know it.
No… Harry loves me… he loves… me
He has a curious way of showing it, don’t you think? Or have you already forgotten what he did just an hour ago?
It doesn’t matter…
Apparently the state you’re in is not enough to remind you. Alright then, let’s see… He came home late, totally pissed…
No, don’t…
You tried to get him to sleep but he wanted something else and started touching you.
Shut up…
You tried to push him away but he wouldn’t let go. You tried harder and he hit you. Hard. In the face. You fell on the bed and he started to rip your clothes off.
Stop, please stop…
You still tried to resist but it just earned you more blows, more signs of his GREAT LOVE. You knew it was no use. He had always been strong and aggressive when he had drunk. And you gave up when he rolled you on your stomach and violently pushed inside you with no preparation or lubrication. You let him pound into you, almost ripping you apart. You let him use your body and shatter your heart in million pieces. You let him RAPE YOU.
NO. No… he didn’t… no…
Then what was it if not rape? “Love making”. Then why are you lying on your stomach, careful not to move? Then why are you still shaking? Then why were you crying and begging him to stop while he “made love to you”? And why are you crying now? But you’re right. What he did is not the worst, no, the worst is that you know exactly what is happening and don’t stop it. That you even EXPECT it every time he comes home from the weekly visit at the pub with Weasley. That you expect him to fuck you brutally and to scream out Weasley’s name when he comes inside of you with an animalistic growl. That you don’t punch him when he breaks down after his release and begs you to forgive him. The worst is that you do forgive him every time despite the promises you have made to yourself and hold him in your arms until he cries himself to sleep. And you just lie there beside him, ignoring the mixture of blood and come on your thighs and the pain of his hard punches that will leave angry marks on your pale skin and make people wonder. You just lie there beside him, stroking his unruly black hair and guarding his dreams – his dreams of Weasley. This is what hurts the most, isn’t it? Not the blows, not the screams, not being ripped apart. No. It’s this silence.
I… I can’t… oh, God… I wish…
You wish Potter could see past Weasley? You wish he could see you? Only you. Is this what you want? Tell me?
Y-yes…
You want him to be truly yours. To be loving and gentle. To forget all his feelings for Weasley?
Yes. Yes, I’d do anything…
Then take him away. Take Potter to a place Weasley can’t follow.
What do you…? I don’t understand?
Oh, I think you do.
You… you want me to… no, no I can’t…
It’s the only way, Draco. You know it. It’s the only way of you to be together without Weasley getting in the way. Without him being there always. ALWAYS. He’s there at the office, he’s there at Christmas, he’s there at your birthday, he’s there in your bed. ALWAYS. Potter will never let him go. Not in this life.
But…
Don’t try to fool yourself. At least not now. Potter doesn’t love you like he loves Weasley. And never will if you don’t do something about it. Come on, Draco. It’s easy. It’s easy because it’s what you HAVE TO do. Just press the pillow closer to his face. Just a tiny bit, that’s all it takes. That’s it, Draco. He won’t even feel it. He won’t suffer. And he’ll wait for you on the other side until you get into the bathroom for the razorblade.
I know.
You promised you wouldn’t.
I know.
You promised to YOURSELF.
I…
Then why did you?
…
Oh, please! You can’t still love him! After all he did?
It’s not his fault…
It never is. So who are you going to blame this time? The unloving Muggles he grew up with? I’m getting quite tired of THAT excuse.
They were heartless…
Potter’s not the only one who had a hard childhood. Do I have to remind you of Lucius? No, of course I don’t. You still bear the marks of his… affection, don’t you?
Please don’t…
Alright, if not the Muggles, then who do you blame? The Dark Lord? Of course, he did have a unique talent to complicate matters. You think it would have been different had you not been on different sides from the beginning. Do you blame Lucius for forcing you to take the Dark Mark? Do you blame the Dark Lord for choosing you to be the angel of death to the only man Potter ever could look up to as a father figure? Or do you blame yourself? Tell me, Draco, do you blame yourself for not preventing his death? Do you blame yourself for being weak? Weak as you still are…
What do you…?
You’re still too scared to admit why you didn’t ask for Potter’s help, why you kept making pathetic attempts to kill Dumbledore. You wanted to punish Potter. To punish him in the worst possible way for not seeing you. For always choosing Weasley over you.
Stop it…
Oh, did I hit a nerve? Yes, it was always Weasley. He was the best friend, the loyal warrior, the one Potter would miss most – yes, do you still remember the pain of realization? And HE was the one to show Potter what love meant. And what were you? The slimy git who made life unbearable, the Slytherin who deserved nothing but loathing, and almost being killed by the one he desperately loved. Do you remember lying on the cold bathroom floor, drenched in your own blood, and not thinking of death but the way Potter’s arms felt around you. Do you remember feeling happy for the first time in your life? And do you remember being at Grimmauld place? Do you remember being forced to sleep in their room? Do you remember the agony of being woken by their moans of ecstasy? Do you remember getting harder with every little gasp Potter made and how you wouldn’t allow yourself release? Do you remember wishing Weasley had died from that mead he had accidentally-
Stop… please, stop… I… Harry’s mine now…
True enough, he is sleeping beside you now. But he’s not yours. His heart belongs to Weasley…
No. He… Ron’s married now, has kids… And Harry has me…
Keep lying to yourself, Draco, lies are all you’re good at. He doesn’t want you, he wants Weasley. And you know it.
No… Harry loves me… he loves… me
He has a curious way of showing it, don’t you think? Or have you already forgotten what he did just an hour ago?
It doesn’t matter…
Apparently the state you’re in is not enough to remind you. Alright then, let’s see… He came home late, totally pissed…
No, don’t…
You tried to get him to sleep but he wanted something else and started touching you.
Shut up…
You tried to push him away but he wouldn’t let go. You tried harder and he hit you. Hard. In the face. You fell on the bed and he started to rip your clothes off.
Stop, please stop…
You still tried to resist but it just earned you more blows, more signs of his GREAT LOVE. You knew it was no use. He had always been strong and aggressive when he had drunk. And you gave up when he rolled you on your stomach and violently pushed inside you with no preparation or lubrication. You let him pound into you, almost ripping you apart. You let him use your body and shatter your heart in million pieces. You let him RAPE YOU.
NO. No… he didn’t… no…
Then what was it if not rape? “Love making”. Then why are you lying on your stomach, careful not to move? Then why are you still shaking? Then why were you crying and begging him to stop while he “made love to you”? And why are you crying now? But you’re right. What he did is not the worst, no, the worst is that you know exactly what is happening and don’t stop it. That you even EXPECT it every time he comes home from the weekly visit at the pub with Weasley. That you expect him to fuck you brutally and to scream out Weasley’s name when he comes inside of you with an animalistic growl. That you don’t punch him when he breaks down after his release and begs you to forgive him. The worst is that you do forgive him every time despite the promises you have made to yourself and hold him in your arms until he cries himself to sleep. And you just lie there beside him, ignoring the mixture of blood and come on your thighs and the pain of his hard punches that will leave angry marks on your pale skin and make people wonder. You just lie there beside him, stroking his unruly black hair and guarding his dreams – his dreams of Weasley. This is what hurts the most, isn’t it? Not the blows, not the screams, not being ripped apart. No. It’s this silence.
I… I can’t… oh, God… I wish…
You wish Potter could see past Weasley? You wish he could see you? Only you. Is this what you want? Tell me?
Y-yes…
You want him to be truly yours. To be loving and gentle. To forget all his feelings for Weasley?
Yes. Yes, I’d do anything…
Then take him away. Take Potter to a place Weasley can’t follow.
What do you…? I don’t understand?
Oh, I think you do.
You… you want me to… no, no I can’t…
It’s the only way, Draco. You know it. It’s the only way of you to be together without Weasley getting in the way. Without him being there always. ALWAYS. He’s there at the office, he’s there at Christmas, he’s there at your birthday, he’s there in your bed. ALWAYS. Potter will never let him go. Not in this life.
But…
Don’t try to fool yourself. At least not now. Potter doesn’t love you like he loves Weasley. And never will if you don’t do something about it. Come on, Draco. It’s easy. It’s easy because it’s what you HAVE TO do. Just press the pillow closer to his face. Just a tiny bit, that’s all it takes. That’s it, Draco. He won’t even feel it. He won’t suffer. And he’ll wait for you on the other side until you get into the bathroom for the razorblade.
He’ll wait for you... He’ll love you... Forever...