Unwanted

Prologue

The ghost of you

I never said I’d lie and wait forever
If I died we'd be together
I can’t always just forget her
But she could try

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever ever...
Ever...

If I fall
If I fall (down)

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
Never coming home
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna haunt me…

( The ghost of you my chemical romance)



Don’t touch my heart, please. Don’t look at it. Don’t feel it. Nobody should know how I feel.
I decided that I won’t ever turn around. Not anymore. So that’s why I threw everything away…So that’s why I cannot tell myself or anyone else that I feel lonely.

It had been a year since Cedric died.

Now I’m here. Back at school. To start again. Anew. I was devastated after my fifth year. It had been a good year before the last task of the triwazard tournament. I fell in love. I was loved. I was happy. But life is not that easy to me. It has never been. But it’s normal if you are Cho Chang.

I lost my parents when I was a year old. Killed by some Chinese revolutionaries . I grew up with my grandpa in the mountain. Hiding. We were the last one of the Chang dynasty. We were a really old and respectable family before Voldemort came to china to conquer power and find immortality. He was lucky. Wizards in china have never been persecuted and have live happily with the muggles, but Voldemort manage to come right during the cultural revolution. Chinese government was trying to get rid of the old things, traditions, beliefs. So wizards were killed and houses burned and money confiscated. When Voldemort came he declare to fight against the injustice of it all. Wizards believed in him. He was the saviour. They followed him. They were blinded by him. And so was my parents and everyone around me.

They didn’t see how Voldemort became more cruel as time went by. They didn’t notice his lust for power. They didn’t perceive his madness. But that’s what he was. Mad. His main goal was to reach immortality. He heard of a stone that could provide longevity. Almost like a philosopher stone but made of jade. It belonged to my family for centuries. But had never been used. It was too powerful and dangerous. The power of the stone can overwhelmed a person and it destroyed his soul. But yeah, I know, it’s not a big problem if you are Voldemort and you are already devilish and without a soul and maybe even a conscious. That’s what grandpa always told me. Even my own parents wanted to use it to bring the dark lord back because some little British child had killed him. But they didn’t knew where it was. Only grandpa did. And that’s why he ran and he took me with him.

When I was nine years old my grandpa got sick or maybe he was just too old so he brought me to England. To stay with a friend of his. Albus Dumbledore. Grandpa died the day we arrived at Hogwarts. I was so sad. I didn’t speak to anyone for days. Not that I could since I didn’t know a word in English. It was may. The school was fool of students. But I stayed away from them. I was just a little child and they all look so scary. So big.

Dumbledore made me study English for all summer with one of the professor. Snape. Now you may all think that he did that because he, and I mean Dumbledore, is a sadistic bastard. But that’s not entirely true. Professor Snape is in fact a very charming and lovely person. You have read right. I put lovely and Snape in the same sentence! And I’m not crazy.

You just got to know someone very well before judging them. He had a very difficult life and he is a very sensible person. He was cursed with the gift to feel people emotion and see their future. It turn him nuts and make him ill. He always keep away from people when he was younger because he couldn’t bear to feel their emotions. Then it became worse because a group of Gryffindors began to pick on him. All he wanted was just be left alone and study. He wanted to find a cure for his disease. So he spent hour breeding potion. He managed to find a treat for it of course. And he also became the greatest potion master in the world.

He had always been good to me. He taught me loads of things. Potion. occlumency. Legilimensy. He always support me in whatever I wanted to do and is probably the closest person to me. He never judged me or lectured me for my mistakes. And he never asked question when I didn’t want him to. He was the only one to understand me when I decided to go to china and inherited my heritage and power.


Did I did the right thing?

She often found herself thinking in the last year. But she knew.
She had to go. She will get revenge for what they did to Cedric. Voldemort and everyone around him will pay dearly for killing the person Cho loved the most.

So that’s why she spent her sixth year away and come back to be drop a year behind. It was no big deal actually since she has always been a year younger than all her classmates. She began Hogwarts at ten years old because she lived in the castle and it would be very suspicious not to attend class. And also pretty boring wandering around doing nothing all day for a year.

So she spent a year away and now she was at the front gate of Hogwarts. 1st of September. She hasn’t bother to take the train. It was stupid to do so when she could just apparate. Yeah, of course she didn’t have the license, but who cares?

Snape was waiting for her. His lips imperceptibly lift up at the angle. Almost like a smile. He greet her and welcome Cho back.

“Cho. Is nice to see you alive and back here. Has your journey been successful?”
“Yes, professor. It has been enlightening and very long.”
“So it’s better you go and set yourself back in your room.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
“I missed you.”

It was barely a whisper but she knew it was the most he could say out loud.

She went to her old room. The one she spent her holidays in all this years. It was in a part of the castle that were reserved for the staff. It was nothing special. Just a standard room with a four poster bed, a table, a small library, a wardrobe and a small armchair near the windows. She prefer her dorm room, but it was nice to have her own private room sometime. Like the night before the third task she spent here with Cedric.

That memory have taunted her every day last year. It had been so sweet and so perfect.
She had been with Cedric ever since the Yule ball. When she accepted his invitation she didn’t really like him much. He wasn’t unpleasant with all that charm and good looking and perfection, but not a real person. She tried to decline till the very end hoping that Harry Potter will found the guts to ask her out. But it was too late. The ball was a nice surprise. Cedric was a nice surprise. He chat with her. Make her laugh. He only paid attention to her and made her feel wanted and beautiful. At the end of that magic night she found herself in front of the portrait that hide Ravenclaw’s dorm with Cedric and receive her first kiss. She knew that the night will probably end like that. Every girl in her dorm had said so and she even prepared to decline. But then. He was there. Looking shyly at his shoes and mumble that he enjoyed himself and stuff…And then he turned to went back to his dorm…And she couldn’t just believe he was going away like this…And she even had this speech about why she wouldn’t kiss him at their fist date because they should know each other better and stuff…

So she grabbed him and thrown herself in his arm and put her lips on his. Well it didn’t went that smoothly because he was like 10 inch taller than she was and it was not a movie scene but real life. But then he saw her and smile. Hold her still and gently beginning to kiss her. At some point he was basically holding her up because her legs had give out but he didn’t complain.

When they parted all she said was thank you before running away.

After that they became an item. Cho found out that they had more in common than she thought. He confessed her that he was afraid of the tasks, that he didn’t want to be a champion but didn’t want to upset his father. That he was so bored to be perfect and act perfect. That in reality he wasn’t. He was just a fake. And Cho understand all too well what he was talking about. She always tried to be accepted by everyone. She was alone in this country. Away from her people. With no family. She acted so friendly with everyone and had loads of friend but no one knew her secrets. She was intelligent and good at school, but hold down not to be too know it all like Hermione Granger. But good enough that her class mates would seek her out for help. She was beautiful but didn’t show it too much. She was good at Quidditch but it wasn’t natural or just talent. She spent hours and hours a day during the summer break to train and improve herself. All her efforts were put in trying not to be alone and forgotten.

And Cedric knew it all. He was the only one she had confided in. He even knew her parents were Deatheater. And he still wanted to be with her. And he still loved her.

The first time he told her he loved her was after the second task. It was quite obvious since she was his most important person, but when she came out of the water he hugged her and whisper “Cho I was so afraid when I saw you down there and…Oh my god you shouldn’t be part of this tournament…I’m sorry…I love you much…”To her ear. She started crying and everyone thought she was shocked and took her to the hospital wing. She spent 2 days there and no one knew what was wrong with her. After two days spent thinking she decided it was safe to give her heart to Cedric. Time passed and their love grew stronger and stronger. He was planning on their future since he was a seventh year. He was going to try to be a professional Quidditch player and earn enough money to buy them a house and once she was out of school they will settle down and get married and have children and….who knows what the future could bring?

It was the day before the last task and they were sitting near the lake, holding each other and enjoy the view. There was nothing to be said that hadn’t been already said…Be careful…I will be waiting for you…I trust you…I love you…Come back to me…Don’t die…

She was particularly tense like she had a bad feeling. And then…She always thought to wait…But she was not very good at that…And than if anything would happen she would regret it and…

She shift a little and press her lips gently on his. He kissed her. Parting her lips with his tong and sliding home. Savouring her deeply. She gave a little moan. And he smiled against her lips tightening his grip around her waist. When they parted Cedric’s eyes were dull and unfocused. What was it? Passion? Lust? Fear…

Cho felt his fear. He had that bad feeling too. Trying to lightening up the mood she suggested playfully to continue that in her room…But her voice came out serious and low.
He looked in her eyes for a moment like searching for the right answer and then hesitantly took her hand and started walking to the castle. The journey was quiet and when they stood inside her room they felt very shy.

It was their fist time after all.

But then she found the courage…Really if it wasn’t for her they would have never kiss in first place…And started kissing him again.

It was the signal he needed because he started to walk them to the bed and he lied her down gently. She felt a sudden rash of trepidation run through her and the room temperature rise a couple of degrees. “Are you sure?” He asked her. She just nodded her yes. She didn’t trust her voice at the moment. Might came out a squeak and it would not be very sexy!

He lied on top of her and she started awkwardly to unbutton his shirt. He seemed lost in the sensation of her little hands working on the buttons. When the shirt came off he smile down at her and kissed her again. Slowly and sensually. Her hands began to study his back, all his muscles, the way they contracted under her pressure. He kissed a pattern down her chin to her neck and in the mean while started to unbutton her blouse. He kissed every inch of new skin he discovered and stopped somehow to memorized her view when she was left only with her black lacy bra on. She felt the change in his breathing and that excited her even more.

He work his way down to her belly and with almost trembling hands undo the button and the zip. She helped him bringing her hips up so he could take her jeans, shoes and socks away.

He undressed himself quickly and lied on top of her girlfriend again. This time she actually squeak when their skin met. He was also very overwhelmed by the new sensation and it became even worse when she unhooked her bra and took it off. He was so hard and couldn’t wait any longer! He was afraid he wouldn’t be that perfect this time. She was in such a dazed that she didn’t even remember when her panties and his boxer disappeared. But everything after that she remember perfectly. The pain and the lust and the passion and the fullfillness, the belonging to something, the harmony between their body and the way he trembled inside of her and the look in his eyes that showed only love and the fire burning them and her cries of pleasure when everything around her explode in a kaleidoscope of colour and sensation.

They crumble on the back, sweaty and exhausted but oh so happy and satiated. Well not that much satiated because they made love another time during the night and one more at dawn. The last time it was Cho favourite. It was sweet and tender and he had whispered love words all the time and they climaxed together proclaiming their love for each other. Like they knew it was the last time. Like it was a goodbye. And it actually was.


Cho was crying when she heard a knock on the door. She wiped her tears away and opened the door.
He looked at the man she hated because he had failed her letting Cedric get killed. He seams a lot older than what she remember. Well she didn’t remember much because she was so furious back than and had left banging his office door…

“Professor Dumbledore!”

“Hi Cho. It’s nice to have you back.”

“Thanks.”

“Severus told me your trip has been helpful.”

“Yeah”

“Have you found what you were looking for?”

“If you mean the jade…Yes. I found it.”

“I don’t know if I should be happy for you or not my child.”

“You know I would use it only if I have to. And beside it was my duty to retrieve it and guard it from Voldemort now that he is back.”
“You are right my dear. Shall we go to the feast, together? The students are arriving any minute now.”

“Yes, sir. I just put my robes on.”

She went to her wardrobe and put a robe out. She wear it on her muggle clothes and left her room with the headmaster.