Belonging

Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters belong solely to J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. Studios; I own nothing but the imagination.


Hey everyone I was lying down to go to sleep when this just started to run through my head. It was amazing! I put pen to paper and before I knew it I had sixteen pages written and it was five o’clock in the morning! I hope you enjoy it I don’t think I’ve ever read a story quite like this one so hopefully it’ll be unique in that aspect.


Belonging



My entire life I’ve wanted…no craved for acceptance, for someone to take care of me, love me as I so desperately needed to be loved. I first looked for it through my father, then through my peers at school and then through the ‘Dark Lord’ and later Dumbledore after that. Most of the people I came into contact with outright refused me while others sought to use me as a means to their own selfish ends.


I admit wholeheartedly that my life has been filled to the brim with hardships and sorrow with only those few fleeting memories I have of my mother to ease the encroaching darkness that surrounds me.

I can distinctly recall a time when I was an openly caring person when I would smile and laugh with abandon and believed in the inherent goodness of all mankind. Ah childhood it was the only time until now that I have ever felt like I truly belonged. In my mothers arms the world could do me no harm.


My mother… I miss her so. The day I received the letter informing me that my father had murdered her then killed himself was the day I felt that my life was for certain destined to be one of misery and turmoil.

When he was alive my father beat me unmercifully when he would drink and I can honestly say that I don’t think there ever really was a time when the accursed man wasn’t drowning himself in the bottle. I truly believed it was because if ever for a moment he was sober he’d have to come face to face with what he put mother and me through. My only escape was mother and later Hogwarts. He forbad communication between mother and I while I was away so I was forced to seek companionship at school. I so naively thought that if I excelled in my classes that there would be no end to those whom I could call friend.

Needless to say how wrong I was. When I arrived at school I was sorted into Slytherin, the house of cutthroats and traitors they say, and although I did indeed excel in my classes I found all it brought me was ridicule and derision from my peers. In my lowest moment Lucius Malfoy stepped in and offered to be my friend, he told me of beautiful things it was a club he said where everyone was your friend and had your back and it was there I would have my greatest dreams come true. Wrong again.


So it came to be I took the dark mark on my seventeenth birthday and committed my life to an absolute madman. Where was the power? No power on fear and pain. Where were the friends? No friend’s only backstabbers. All I had now was pain. No, pain isn’t an accurate enough word to describe the complete helplessness of having to stand by and watch innocent lives be taken and all for the amusement of a lunatic. Could it be, incomparable despair? I fear there shall never be a word to describe the feeling that held my heart and soul in an unbreakable hold.


Realizing my mistake I came back on bended knee to a man whom at the time I believed could do no wrong. A man whom I thought would accept me and forgive me for my past and welcome me with open arms. However, it was not to be as I quickly learned was my lot in life; I was only to be used. I was forced to continue to immerse myself in darkness while enjoying none of the benefits of the light in which I now served. It was for ‘the good of the light’ was what was parroted to me over and over again.

I was forced to adorn mask after mask to hide the person I wanted to be in my heart. So instead of laughing I had to snarl and bite out acerbic replies to everyone who uttered a single word to me until no one could stand to be in my presence. Who knew that the consummate Slytherin yearned for happiness, to simply belong, to give of myself freely with no expectations, to love. I ached inside. The loneliness and deceit was eating away at my heart and soul day after endless day, until he arrived to save me.


I’m can be almost certain that he doesn’t know what it is exactly he has done for me. I’m sure he doesn’t know that he came and saved me just as I was slipping into insanity. That he pulled me out of the encroaching darkness so that I may forever bask in the light that is him.


Harry Potter.

A person I watched mature from a reckless little boy who dashed away into any situation without care into a man in firm control of himself and the people around him. I watched him defy Dumbledore’s manipulations and expose him for the eccentric old fraud he really was. I watched him battle the darkest wizard of the age and come through with barely a scratch on his magnificent face. I watched him take on a corrupt ministry and work diligently to bring the wizarding world into a new Golden Age, one of peace, abundance, tolerance, and acceptance. Yes I watched him and I watch him still and wonder which god or goddess ordained me worthy to be with someone so pure. Be that as it may I shall not shun this gift for haven’t I suffered enough in my lifetime shouldn’t I be allowed some sort or compensation for the things I’ve had to endure.


There were celebrations throughout the world both muggle and wizarding alike when Voldemort was vanquished once and for all. It was during one of these functions that he came to me and told me of his feelings…


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‘I love you. I have for a long time now. I see the masks that you are forced to wear to hide the person you truly are inside…Just. Like. Me.’ was whispered in my ear with a sardonic chuckle. ‘I want you, all of you’ he said ‘I want to take care of you, protect you, love you, and attend to your every wish and desire.’ He then pulled back from my ear to look me in the eye and asked ‘Will you accept me and all that I offer? Will you take the heart in which I give to you without reservation? Will you let me love you Severus?’


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I was stunned into speechlessness. So I did the only thing I could do. I fell to my knees, as I has done my entire life, but this time I knew that it was not seen as a way to make me feel like I am less than a person but instead it was a act of submission one that spoke of my willingness to let him take the reins and my trust in him that he would not lead me astray. I enveloped his waist in my arms and buried my face in his firm abdomen and cried. I cried as I had not cried since I was a small child. And with his fingers stroking my head I told him, as best I could through my tears, how much I loved him and how he had saved me from the darkness and how all I wanted was to love and be loved in return. He must have understood my scattered ramblings because before I knew it we were in a well decorated enormous flat that spoke of wealth and elegance but also of comfort and protection.


We were in a large bedroom, about the size of my entire suite of rooms at Hogwarts, and I knelt on plush carpeting. My Harry…yes ‘my Harry’ because I simply cannot refer to him in any other way, he is mine as I am irrevocably his. He pulled me up until we were eye level, for he had filled out very nicely in recent years, and again looked me straight in the eye and he asked if I knew what I was doing and if I truly wanted the type of relation ship he was offering. So I showed him as best I could that I did want him and everything that it implied. I took him by the hand and led him to one of the black leather chairs and set him in it. Still holding his gaze I proceeded to strip. I harnessed every ounce of skill and grace I possessed to please my master. I must have said that last part out loud because he told me that while I was pleasing him tremendously and that he was honored that I chose to call him my true master that I would not call him so until after our bonding. At hearing this my heart soared and I felt as if all the pain I had endured for so long could be completely erased if only my Harry would continue to look at me with those stunning emerald eyes darkening with passion and love…LOVE!, for ME!, the mere thought made me feel like I was the sexiest man in the world.


I continued to strip, now showing my subservience my demurely lowering my eyes first came my robe then my waist coat next the shirt underneath. While I stripped my hips swayed back and forth tempting my Harry to come and conquer me. I knew he was please with my display for I could see his need hardening between his Quidditch toned legs and the grip he had on the chair sort of like he was trying to stop himself from taking me then and there. I also hummed low in my throat, knowing the kind of effect it had on people. Finally my trousers followed in the way of all my other clothing along with my shoes and socks. My body held a light sheen of sweat from my recent exertions in front of the fire.


I can only imagine what the effect my body must be having on my Mas ...Harry, I will not call him that, I will not disobey an order not even in my thoughts. I knelt once again in front of my Harry and learned back on my heels with my back straight but with my head bowed and my hands settled on my thighs. Before my hair could settle around my face my Harry held my neck in a firm possessive grip and pulled my head so that I was once again looking into his eyes. Would my Harry always amaze me so? Here I was willing to give my total submission and in a way that only he could my allowing me to meet his eyes so many times he was showing me that I was still his equal.


“Do you Lord Severus Alexander Tobias Prince-Snape submit to me willingly? Do you trust me to care for your needs and see to your health and well-being from this moment fourth for as long as we both shall live and throughout eternity afterwards?” Finally I was able to say the words that filled me with so much love and peace. “I do accept you Lord Harold Brian Potter-Black as my master and offer you my complete submission in all aspects of my life of my own free will.” He concluded with “Then I take you as my willing submissive. From this moment forward you belong to me mind, body, heart, magic, and soul and I relinquish into your care the same that is mine. As long as there is breath in my body you will never hurt or want for anything ever again.”


With that said he gave me a kiss that made me feel owned all the way to my innermost being. And it felt good, no it felt better than good, it felt like for the first time in my up until this moment miserable existence that I had someone whom belonged to me as much as I belonged to them.


When the kiss that sealed the bond was complete a bonding license appeared next to us. Summoning a quill my master quickly maneuvered us to where he was sitting cross-legged with me in his lap and hands intertwined we signed the document in the appropriate places watched our names blaze gold and the document roll itself up and apperate back to the ministry to make our bonding legal. It place of the contract was a glittering pile of white powder. The Potions Master in me jumped at the chance to collect the valuable ingredient but I would not move unless it was my Masters wish that I do so.

“Easy my own, it’s now my honor and responsibility to attend to all your needs.” He said as he pulled my closer to his chest and nuzzled my neck eliciting a soft groan from me. With a snap of his fingers I watched as the marital powder levitated into a crystal vial that appeared and as the last of it fell into the vial a cork appeared to seal it as it began to float towards us. My master caught the vial in his outstretched hand and then gave it to me.

“For you, my heart, anything for you.”

He took me to bed after that and claimed me completely.

Merlin, the passion he showed, the utter devotion to my body and pleasure. Our lovemaking was tender and sweet, he took me from every position slowly and deeply, the only sounds to be heard were the crackling of the fire and my soft gasps and cries as I was taken so thoroughly. And as he climaxed in my body for the final time that night he shouted for the entire world to hear that I was his and I knew then that he would never allow anyone to use me ever again. We fell asleep after that, me snuggled in his arms with my head resting on his broad chest being lulled by his rhythmic heartbeat and the firm hand stoking my hair.

I sit here now with my master still asleep beside me; I shall rise in a little while to prepare him a bath and breakfast as is my duty, but for now I am content to just watch him. He looks so peaceful there in the arms of Morpheus I wonder if he knows the calm he has brought to my spirit.

He turns towards me in his sleep and I see his face and my breath catches in my chest. I have had an epiphany of sorts, a sudden realization of all these things building inside my heart, they all conclude to a love that is meant for the history books, one that they write stories and sing songs about, a love so complete that nothing could tarnish it. I love him. I love Harry Potter and would give my life for him in an instant without question.


“Mmmm…why are you awake so early my own?” I quickly lie down and snuggle up to my master with my back against his chest.

“I’m sorry master I am used to rising early. Usually Dumbledore or Voldemort would have me out running some ridiculous errand or other to show me my place as a servant so I would make myself get up extra early so I wouldn’t appear to be at a disadvantage and be caught sleeping.”


My master’s arms tightened around me supportively as he kissed my neck and shoulders and mumbled into my ear. “From now on, my own, you shall rise when it suits you until you are told otherwise by me alone. Those idiots are no longer here and I wish I could bring them back just to kill them again for what they did to you. I want you well rested and in good health at all times my beautiful one.” He kissed me gently on the cheek.

“Yes, Master.”

“Good. Now sleep.”

“Yes, Master.” I mumbled, my body already surrendering to the master of my heart’s bidding.

I feel asleep in his arms knowing that that is where I belong.

A/N: What do you think? As always reviews are welcome!!! ^_^