How Do "You" Like It?

Pairings are unimportant, though this could be a Harry/Draco. I think it belongs under Parodies though, so I’ll just leave it here. This isn’t going to be compliant to the seventh book, in fact it takes place somewhere around the fifth book, and is a sort-of AU theme. Goblet of Fire never took place.
Just one of those strange things that came to me on a full moon, one month.
Rating may change.

Revenge is a sweet thing, or is it. Hermione is unhappy about a comment made by her fellow Gryffindor and suddenly, being a teenage boy takes on a completely new twist.

Chapter One: “On The What?”


“I really think you should apologize, Ron.” Harry said, watching the look of pure evil that filled Hermione’s face as she left the great hall. “You went a little overboard and she’s,. . . well, she’s pissed!”
Ron snorted derisively as he went back to his parchment to finish his essay for charms class.
Harry sighed, hoping this would just blow over.

***earlier ***

“If you started earlier, you wouldn’t have to ask me for help, Ronald. Now, you’ll just have to deal with it.” Hermione said as she closed her books and stacked them in a pile. “I can’t help you, this time.”
Harry watched as Ron frowned and grabbed his quill turning away just as Hermione’s face went pale and her hand clenched around the final book. The look was fleeting, then she added this one to her stack and went to stand, but Harry stopped her.
“Are you alright, Mione?” he asked.
“I’m fine, Harry. It’ll pass.,” the girl said looking around for eavesdroppers. “I’m getting used to it.”
“Used to what?” Harry asked, concerned.
“Women things.” Hermione said softly, still climbing to her feet.
“Is that all?” Ron snorted, turning to the girl. “You won’t help me, because you’re on the rag!”
Several of the closer students looked up only to quickly avert their eyes when Hermione glared at them.
“You wouldn’t understand,” she said to the redhead, but Ron was on a roll.
“Girls are always getting outta stuff that way,” he said before shifting to a falsetto tone. “I can’t do potions today, Professor Snape. It’s that time and the fumes give me cramps.”
He mimicked, bringing snickers from Seamus and Dean who were sitting on his other side. “Oh, I feel so bloated, but I’m still gonna eat three helpings of pumpkin ice cream.”
Hermione’s eyes had gotten hard and her lips had become a thin line across her face.
Harry, forgetting self-preservation, tried to save his friend. “Ron, stop it. You’re embarrassing . . . .um, me.”
However, the redhead would not listen.
“Girls have it too easy.”
That was the final blow and Hermione snapped.
“Easy?! You thing it’s easy? Someday, you’ll get married and your wife will bless you with a child . . . Like your mother did when she had your worthless arse. And do you think bringing life into this world is easy? You have no idea! If you did, you would never have said any of that. Ronald Bilius Weasley, someday . . . .” Hermione’s face was blood red and her hands were clenched to her books so hard her knuckles had gone white. She glared at the redhead for a minute, then turned away and stalked to the door. There, she turned and gave the group an evil measured look that sent shivers down Harry’s spine.
Ron hadn’t even looked up.

At dinner, Hermione was absent from the table and Ginny told them she had claimed she needed to research something and had gone to the library.
She didn’t come to the common room until just before curfew and went directly to the girl’s dorm without speaking to anyone.
Three days of this including her moving away from them in class and sitting with the other Gryffindors at meals, had Harry worried.
“Ron, you have to make up with her,” he said and his friend looked around Neville, to where the girls sat, giggling together.
“She’ll come around. I got a 52 on that essay. It’s all her fault!” the redhead complained.
Harry sighed.